Beta orbiter

Then refused to talk to him because he's being a pain in the ass.

Lol would talk to him myself personally, what kind of sht does he complain about anyway?

You must establish boundaries. If you don’t respond in an amount of time and he gets upset, let him know you have no obligation to respond and that your time does not revolve around him. Do not meet his anger with reconciliation.

This or ghost him.

mainly depression, which is fine on a small scale but every day he expects me to calm him down and pat his back and say nice things to him

i hate pausing my busy day to try to make him feel better

i tried once and after about a week i felt really bad because i felt as if i owed him an explanation for just leaving his life so suddenly when the whole time i’ve pretended to be his good pal

here’s an example of him feeling bad and me trying to pick up the pieces yet again

Attached: F3053C54-CB6E-4DD0-9163-EED4680DC0BA.jpg (828x184, 44K)

I can imagine what someone would go through if I did that to them. Tell him to vent with someone qualified to treat his problem if it's that bad. I can relate but I'm also aware I can't weigh someone down with my problems. Tell him to get help and then tell him you wont talk to him if he doesnt. He's not being reasonable.

Yeah he sounds like he could be unstable, talk to people around you so they know this is going on. Make the ultimatum, he gets treatment or it's over.

Jesus, the entitlement is cray.

Well, that's the problem you pretended to be his pal. Now you have to deal with the consequences of not being genuine in the first place.

i’ve tried explaining this in a nice way to him before and he always says that he’s been to therapy and it did nothing for him

unfortunately yeah. i’m a really nice person and sometimes i get walked all over because of that

Im surprised his therapist is letting him walk around unmonitored if his condition is this potentially serious. The guy has to talk with someone or multiple people to make him understand he cant keep using you this way.

You cant be bending over every time for him, I dont believe for a second he has taken therapy seriously. If he has been let go it has to be a personality related attitude he's showing. Tell him he has to find somewhere else to vent, his constant complaining is affecting you.

If he doesnt listen threaten to cut off communication. Let other friends know whats going on, you may need support.

I was thinking of this too, if you have a beast mode friend you can use them as threat if they don't leave you alone.

Dude, cut them off. Nobody should be angry at you for not responding.
That's cringe that you're letting that creepo intimidate you.

>he’s been texting me daily

but hes an 'orbiter'? you're just a strange person

>If you don’t respond in an amount of time and he gets upset,

Do you know what boundarise are? You aren't suppose to ignore people for weeks.

>Nobody should be angry at you for not responding.

It's OK to cut someone off for not responding to you. Getting mad over one day is a bit strange

Can you read? Where did I mention anything about ignoring him for weeks? And if she wants to ignore him, is she not allowed to?

You may want to escalate this then. Get a male friend you trust to speak with him about his nagging behavior. Or speak to a guidance councilor and see if they can call him to their office about his behavior. Block his number. You should never feel unsafe about communicating with someone.

If a girl ignored you for a week and gave you inconsistent replies, would you not break it off with her?

Yes I would because I’m mentally stable but that’s obviously not the kind guy she’s fucking talking to, now is it

I thought you were trying to say it's okay to ignore someone because their 'time does not revolve around you' and they have 'no obligation to'. You're right that guy sounds nuts.

Man, this guy sounds like a real vag dryer.

I dont even remind female friends that forget to answer texts and shit. Dude needs to have some self respect.

Girl, the truth will set you free. Come clean with him. And you can be nice about it. Just tell him that his problems are a lot to take in and really distract you from school. That you're cool talking but it cant be everyday. Set boundaries. Tell him about these boundaries. If he pisses off tell him that you dont know if you can still be friends. That you have to protect your own feelings and school work.

If you want to keep him around, maybe suggest he write down his problems and talk to you about them once a week. If he cant wait, he should try another therapist. He shouldn't have to depend on a friend for an issue that cant wait. Issues that are that big ain't your job.

Also, ask yourself, do you want to be this person's friend or do you feel you have to because you are nice?

That is exactly what I’m saying. If she reads his text and decides to not respond, she is effectively ignoring him, and she’s allowed to do that. You say “break it off” as if she’s romantically invested in this guy and trying to keep his interest when it’s quite the opposite. I don’t understand you.

Yes she can do that but it's cruel to do and she should be mature about it. However, I'm saying if someone you speak to regularly ignores you for over a week then you should cut them off because that's not ok.

She ignored him for a week because he was getting too close and suffocating. She explains that he makes her feel unsafe at how irrationally angry he gets when she finally does reach back out to him on her own time, which we've already established she is allowed to do. You treat others the way you want to be treated, and to think she owes an unstable orbiter like him the mature response of closure when she only maintains communication out of fear that something might happen to her is complete and utter nonsense. She doesn't even want to cut him off entirely, she just wants less of him in her life.

And again, your perspective is fucking wacky, you're telling me that "I should cut them off" like I'm the one that needs advice here, and I know you're speaking about the other guy, but what the fuck man. Reread the thread.

why don't you like him? and what can he do to become a friend or romantic partner?

t. this user want to text my coworker, but pretty sure she doesn't like me

My dude why the hell would she want to date a guy like him? Read the thread, this could be useful for you too.

other than being angry at not responding to texts, what else is he doing wrong?

Dog she describes him as a beta-orbiter in the thread title. Nobody wants to be with a beta-orbiter who's life revolves around them.

I already agreed in this situation it would be ok, i'm talking generally.

He's depressed and he's constantly venting his problems and she can't take it anymore. If you cant read signs like these then Im not surprised things didnt work out with your coworker. You have to learn more how social relationships work man. This is the kind of guy you DO NOT want to be.

i missed the post about his mental health problems

makes sense

Start telling him about your new hot boyfriend in a text and see how he responds. He'll probably stop texting.

What if you are depressed? What do you talk about then?

The same things you would if you weren't depressed? If you're depressed to the point where that's the only thing you can discuss (which seems pretty dramatic to me but w/e) then you probably won't be talking to girls like that in the first place.

Do you know what depression is?

No.

I can tell, it makes you not be so active in conversation.

If he texted less, took initiative and make plans himself, didn't bitch about his problems, didn't get upset if you don't contact him for some days, would you reward him with sex if he kept trying?
Asking for a friend

Yeah no fucking shit that's why I said if you have depression that bad you probably won't be talking to people in the first place and should resolve that before worrying about trying to chat up girls.

You think it's something to be 'solved'. That's funny.

He's probably already shit the bed on getting sex

Yes depression is something to solve, figure out, move past or whatever synonymous fucking verb you want to use. Fuck off mate.

get off this board loser