A comet is on a collision course with the earth. First off - backstory, we should have died in July of 1994. Thanks to Jupiter's fat ass, that planet decided to suck in the comet that would have destroyed the planet. However, a new comet has already passed Jupiter as of last month. We hoped it would veer off course, but we have been wrong. This one is headed straight towards earth. I work for a small, private sector of NASA and we work on missile defense contracts. Our job is to monitor the sky of missiles from foreign countries. I also work with people who monitor extra-earth orbit objects, aka comets. This information comes from a collected source of what they have expressed and what we have discussed in the past few days. We are nervous, I guess you could say. I'm rather drunk right now. We know something big is coming, and I am not sure how close it will come. All I know is that I am trying to figure out what to do exactly. This comet is expected to hit within 1 month. The size is 22 mi in diameter and would easily destroy planet earth.
I am not trying to alarm anyone, I am simply stating to stock up on supplies and get a bunker going/join a bunker just in case. Probably nothing heh.
Its the Aryans from Aldebaran here to deliver us from jewry
Lucas Long
Long have I dreamed of this day! Thank you kind user, its...over. Just...OVER.
Blake Mitchell
Cool fake story, the boomers would eat this up. Try your luck on godlikeproductions.
Liam Thompson
Oh, you mean the Jews are going to throw a tantrum and crash the economy?
Levi Hernandez
Any chance for a direct hit? I am in East TN. Could we possibly alter the trajectory enough to ensure a direct hit? If there is a chance of destroying the comet, please disregard my plea. TIA!
Aiden Flores
...
Jack Johnson
This isn't really something to celebrate over. Life should be enjoyed and celebrated.
I'm legit telling the truth, just trying to hold some reservation is all. :/
Not this time. This time, it's for real.
Robert Wright
space is fake, nothing is coming
Brayden Walker
What's the designation of the comet?
Luis Thompson
Worst LARP to pic. Too many Astronomers around the planet that would spot it and break the news.
Eli Cruz
>Would easily destroy >Stock up on supplies/get in bunker Waste of time if it destroys the planet
Adam Diaz
I'm old and my knees hurt. I've lived long and hard and I dare say well. Now don't fuck this up for me. I could go many ways, but head on with a 22 mile wide chunk of blistering iron is hard to beat.
Logan Clark
A comet that large coming that close to earth would be visible to the naked eye by now. Haley's comet ats closest pass is still tens if not hundreds of millions of miles away from the planet yet it is the brightest object in the sky when it comes around.
Justin Torres
open orbits show us proof
Ryan Bennett
Nice sources OP
And if it's big enough to destroy the planet why would it matter if we prepared or not since the planet is going to be destroyed. Better try next time.
Maybe you could arse youself to photoshop a name badge or something.
>This information comes from a collected source of what they have expressed and what we have discussed in the past few days. >No source
Daniel Powell
100% ballshit nonsense.
Nathaniel Reed
Ehhhhh. Haley's commet was easy and obvious to see with the naked eye, but it's not like it was outshining the moon or all that much different from the stars.
Samuel Thomas
>destroyed the planet fuck off
Gabriel Rivera
I knew an old guy who died tripping up a gutter. If I had to choose between dying confused in a gutter after a small fall or going headfirst into a fucking space rock you know what I'm choosing.
Jayden Cox
We will send a few robots to guide the comet and alter its direction. But thats a big maybe. It's not like the movies. We have about a 27% success rate.
Would they? Are you sure?
This is simply not true. You are leaving a lot of details out.
well it seems that my findings have been laughed out. I tried to warn you guys. But oh well. Take care.
Ethan Bennett
Nice to see that you're backing up your claims with verifiable information. >in the various fields
You didn't answer my question, what is the designation of the fucking comet.
Lucas Phillips
Do you have proof?
Daniel Wilson
>22 miles in diameter >Stock up on supplies
Nice larp you dumb faggot.
Isaac Cox
I'm actually a senior officer, and entitled to more information than you. I can tell you that you got it all wrong. Do you know why Trump has not accomplished closing down the border? it's because he made contact with an aryan alien race, and which now is coming with it's HUGE spacecraft to settle down in the USA.
>Would they? Are you sure? Yes they would. We have astronomers all over the country you really think with that many eyes someone won't see it flickers around the star's lights?
Isaac Mitchell
>easily destroy planet earth >get in a bunker Shitty larp fag
Zachary Lewis
Yes, i am. Especially larger objects passing planets.
THIS. Astronomers are giant Fame Fags. They want to NAME the comet.
Noah Walker
Well it's about time, I voted for this in 2016.
Nicholas Brooks
Any sauce?
Alexander Hughes
>The size is 22 mi in diameter and would easily destroy planet earth. this level of stupid. It's fuck up the planet, sure, but wouldn't destroy it anymore than a bb to your fat ass.
Carson Ramirez
I'm going to see my gf in 3 weeks pls let me die with her
its the albino sumerian aryan space niggers to kill us and make more obedient slaves the ''''''comet''''' is a controlled weapon shouldve took that 7.50 an hour at mcdonalds goyim better luck next time
Something went wrong yesterday with professor Chirtkov's experiment. It had to do with the production of quantum black holes from high energy proton collisions. Hypothetically these black holes should give off a unique measurable energy signature, but will decay quickly (timescale of 10^-9 seconds).
We were running it through the big ring, when suddenly the power went out, at around 2:30 pm. Engineers reported damage to the collision chamber, it was no longer hermetically sealed.
We took the tram (that's how we get around the LHC) down to investigate, and found them examining the floor of the chamber, which they claimed had a small indetectable hole allowing air to escape. I walked under the chamber, and something caught my eye. Down on the ground, in the metal, a tiny hole, virtually invisible to the human eye. Getting down on my hands and knees I estimated it was smaller than the diameter of a human hair.
we probably have a few weeks, a month at most. The hole will gather mass exponentially as it falls through the earth. You won't notice anything at first, it will be like every other day. But then, the earthquakes, the volcanic eruptions, the sudden loss of our magnetic field....culminating in the implosion of the surface
You have some time left, use it well. In the end, nothing really mattered after all
>The size is 22 mi in diameter and would easily destroy planet earth. >stock up on supplies Do methamphetamine shards count as supplies? Any excuse I can get to buy more glass is good news.
well. I tried to be nice. I tried to lay out some simple info. And yet I've been called a fag and all kinds of things. The comet arrives in a few weeks off the coast of Florida.
So I'm good. Just stock up. Take care Jow Forums. No more info. I legit tried to help.
Tyler Gomez
You're gonna make people spend tons of money on food supples and building underground shelter just or the lulz.
Brandon Morgan
>I work for a small, private sector of NASA and we work on missile defense contracts.
> We will send a few robots to guide the comet and alter its direction.
This is how I know you are 100% larping.
Luis Hill
dont believe. i really dont care anymore. im drunk as hell anyways.
the reason that they arent reporting the 22 mi comet is because there is a gag order via the government.
Grayson Nelson
>35 km comet hitting earth >stack up on supplies and get a bunker also, missile launches are monitored by radars and satellites, both unrelated to finding comets and calculating their trajectory
>private sector of NASA and we work on missile defense contracts No you don't and no they don't. Next time say Raytheon ... Fucking rookie.
Sebastian Cruz
post the in-store designation and there will be an end to the larp
Austin Nguyen
>This comet is expected to hit within 1 month. The size is 22 mi in diameter and would easily destroy planet earth. >am not trying to alarm anyone, I am simply stating to stock up on supplies and get a bunker going/join a bunker just in case. Probably nothing heh. choose one
Lincoln Myers
What are your bona fides, sir?
Andrew White
Imagine how many lives you could save if you just posted some fucking proof
there's no reason for you to not give more info(pictures, data, location etc).
Brandon Collins
>We will send a few robots to guide the comet and alter its direction make sure it hits hard
Jaxson Martin
Aaaaaahahahahaha thank you whoever you are that was so fucking sweet
Lucas Morgan
He has a PhD in shitposting and his undergraduate work involved larping. He was a mediocre student in the latter field. His application to the Meme Warfare Academy was thrown into the trash.
Brody Morgan
>expected to hit within 1 month >22 mi in diameter >easily destroy planet earth.
Jason Wright
Aaaaahahahaha thank you whoever you are that was so fucking sweet
Logan Hall
Also, at least FBI user showed his badge? Do you have any credentials that you could post? >Inb4 I'm not doxing myself Blurr the names and show us your badge or something equivalent. If not, we're continue to assume you're a LARP.
William Edwards
well, if real, there is nothing I can do, so I will go on living my life as if nothing is going to happen
which it isnt, of course because OP is always a fag and it never happens
Justin Hill
>I don't want to break the law and end up in prison even though the planet will be destroyed in the next month and it wouldn't matter anyway
fag
Jace Rodriguez
florida? it can't hit soon enough
Justin Watson
Cry more you whiny faggot, I hope it lands on your house.
Juan Price
this, thank fuck
Grayson Richardson
Well I'm fucked but I live in Florida so either way I'm fucked.
Oliver Johnson
Good I hope it hits Ankara
>I am not trying to alarm anyone, I am simply stating to stock up on supplies and get a bunker going/join a bunker just in case. Probably nothing heh. If it will destroy the earth then how does a bunker help?
