>be me >19 >Never been in relationship >Meet this shy girl at uni >she seems interested in me, but I ignore her >We become close, but as friends >Start having seizures and random pain >I tell her about it and shes always there for me >this brings us together closer >We begin dating, and I almost forget about my health issue >True love, not just sexual attraction, my disgusting childhood of abuse does not bother her, she loves me back. >See doctor, and don't tell her. >3 MRI later, doc says I have a cancer by my frontal lobe >Still don't tell her >I am so in love, I've never had this before >If I tell her it will devastate her >If I don't tell her I will never live to see her suffer, but I know she will...
I think the only thing to do to not hurt her is to break off the relationship.
There is no reason to do so though, as I said, we've gotten along like PB and J.
I feel like I have to start being mean, I have so much anger anyways.
Why is it that the only ones that care about you are the ones you inevitability hurt.
I genuinely wish I never got so close to her, I can't bear to imagine the pain she will go through if she even feels half as bad as I do about this.
Clearly as her caring for my undiagnosed cancer is what made me fall in love with her, and then she feel in love with me.
Now the cancer is diagnosed, and I don't know what to do
Jose Ramirez
>bf starts being suddenly mean and makes me break up >later hear that nigga actually had cancer >wonder if he did it for me and didn't trust me to handle it nor wanted me to be there for him Doesn't sound much better.
Getting hurt is part of life but understanding makes things a lot more palpable; so I'd pick being open with her about it and your feelings/worries and just see how it goes.
Sebastian Campbell
I don't think you realize how hard it is to tell someone this...
I just ruined the beginning of her life, I am the closest person she has ever had, and she for me as well.
We both had terrible childhoods, she has nobody to talk to about this
Parker White
>I don't think you realize how hard it is to tell someone this... Now picture how hard it will be hearing it from someone else when it's too late.
Charles Cox
This isn't your decision. Don't break it off unless you wanna be a dick. I know how hard it is to tell people. Let her know what's going on and that your understanding either way. She can do the rest. Don't worry. People will treat you how they want to when they find out that you are sick. No false hope or anything but you may surprise yourself, how long you take to die. I have. You are not being honest. Start with correcting that.
Bentley Harris
any tips on how I should say it?
I am close with her, but I only ever said encouraging things
"hey I will be dead soon"
do we break up after soon, or does she stay with me till the end
Cameron Gutierrez
buddy I got like 6 months tops, in fact she probably knows something is up because of the meds I take, and regular doc appts
The problem is its like I am holding a knife, and I either have to stab her myself as soft as possible or let someone else stab her
Christopher Cox
Fuck it, Ill just tell her tomorrow.
What should I say?
Should we go out to dinner, or just at the apartment?
Should I say immediately, idk what to do
Ryan Smith
>any tips on how I should say it? Depends a lot on your personalities and the way you deal with tricky stuff generally. If she had a terrible childhood too, she likely can handle shit better than most anyway.
>"hey I will be dead soon" I'd totally pull something in that with my friends tbqh. Or watch some corny cancer movie together and add a personal plottwist in the end. And would generally take the less serious route; then again as someone who had a shitty childhood too, I'm just too used to use humour and see the funny side in everything, hoping it'll worry others less.
>do we break up after soon, or does she stay with me till the end I'd give her the option, explaining that you'd totally understand if she did wanted to break up; but it'll prolly sound to cold for her, so she'll decide to stick to the end ... and then, you should respect that decision too.
Carter Clark
Dinner sounds suboptimal due the overly public nature of it. Maybe dinner first and then a chill walk and then the truth bomb.
Isaiah Allen
Still. Let her know. She ain't a baby. Im guessing she would love to spend six months with you. You ain't thinking right user. Deception: does the word sound cool to you? No homo, but, If I were in her situation, I'd WANT to show you the time of your life. There may be some anger but that's normal. Give her the opportunity to act as she wants to.
Jackson Bell
Sorry. In operable brain tumor.
Brandon Bailey
>There may be some anger but that's normal women lol
Ryder Scott
Well. It may surprise you but anger is a common reaction from lovers. My wife is pretty pissed about muh tumor. *inoperable. (Standard Auto complete defense.)
Alexander Martinez
Amos 5:6 kjv seek me and live
Dylan Cruz
Ask to negotiate boundaries if you can get a threeway before you die. Otherwise just be upfront and say that your bucket list is only going to hurt her in the long run. But you should tell her that you're gonna die.
Joseph Rogers
I've literally told no one. The pain of knowing finding out death was so close is worse than the pain I feel because of the growth
Also just because she had a terrible childhood doesn't mean she will handle this better.
Shes just going to have a negative outlook on life forever I can understand if shes angry. at me even The one person who comes into her life to help her is now going to exit in a horrific way
and yes, its going to be a painful death, and I am considering suicide to avoid the pain
Even with drugs (which I realize is going to give me away anyways) the pain get pretty bad in the morning
If I spend more time with her it's going to make it that much worse.
Keep in mind her being there when I was dealing with this before, brought us together like nothing else.
Sounds kind of like what I went through OP, when I got out of high school I had a benign tumor on my face around my jaw on one side and although it was successfully removed it left a scar I will probably have for the rest of my life along with a few other side effects that appear permanent. I went through a lot of pain in my childhood too, hearing your story makes me sad and the fact your tumor is malignant and now you have to come to terms with a lot of things. I'm many years older than you now and up until now I've never been in a relationship or had a friend. There are details I'll omit for personal reasons but believe me OP, I'll pray for your health and if possible for you to live as long if not longer than me. I'm sorry.
Jose Barnes
op, you still around?
here's what i got from mine life's experiences: if you truly love something instead of just craving and using it, you are going to feel glad that you could experience it and get close to it instead of missing it and lamenting when it's gone.
i mean, you will be gone, no matter what you tell her. so instead of blaming yourself for your cancer, go and prepare her for the rest of her life. explain she will never lose the memories of you, make her happy and confident.
Luke Turner
Malignant or benign? Not possible to have it partially resected?
Xavier Gray
Don’t think for other people user it’s damaging and can cause long lasting trust issues. Let her make her own decisions
Bentley Taylor
Damn user, right in the feels. You better tell her and spend a lot of time with her. Good luck
Adrian Evans
Stay with her till the end, don’t break up with her
