How do I force myself to become attracted to women my own age? I'm almost 32, went to college late and about to graduate in a couple weeks. I'm always developing crushes on 18 year old freshman girls, and when I go out and interact with women in my own age range either I feel nothing for them at all, like I have a hard time even seeing them sexually, or I even feel mildly repulsed.
I feel embarrassed and creepy and it's also been a long time since I got laid because at my age and only being just about to finish college I'm not exactly a teen pussy magnet even though I'm decent in the looks department.
Hey now, you don't need to bounce between two extremes here. Usually men date below their own age, and while that doesn't have to mean barely 20, you could still entertain the notion that a woman's looks go down once they hit 30.
Do yoy really want a woman of your own age? Because there's plenty of time between 18 and 32.
I feel ya, man. I'm 32, but not in college. Women our age are boring as shit on average. It's really hard to give a shit about some chick whose looks are ramping down hard, whose entire life revolves around her job, which is usually paired with a tiny dog she spends her evenings in with, plus a sensible dinner and a glass or two of merlot.
Blah. Thinking about it all makes me depressed.
Why the fuck didn't you pick up some girls in your classes? Mid, late twenties even. Don't feel compelled to go after women above 30. I certainly wouldn't want to unless I was well on my way to 40. At 32 you can still hit on chicks 23+ just fine. Younger if you had a set of balls.
I do tend to be attracted to early 20s women, though I don't tend to develop huge crushes on them like I do for the 18-21ish age range.
I did that when I was 29.
It's not like I don't try but I basically stopped getting laid when I turned 30 even though my looks have only improved and I feel like the biggest reason is the age thing and the fact that I basically only try - and only feel at all motivated to try - with women 7+ years younger than me.
Aye personality is a big factor. I prefer having younger male friends when possible too, although nowadays I don't have a ton of that going on either. My older male friends are usually those who still like going clubbing etc., I want to be around people who are vibrant and excitable, very much don't want to be around people who would rather hang out at a quiet pub than a raucous party. This is probably why I'm *so* attracted to women in the 18-21ish age range in particular.
You said 7 years younger but in OP post you said you only wanted 18yos. I don't blame you they look delicious but make up your fucking mind.
I'm a little more of a quiet pub person, and I don't like clubbing, but I get it. I just want someone who hasn't shut down their entire life to pretend to be an adult because someone told them that's the way they're supposed to be at that age.
7-plus years younger. I didn't say I *literally only* wanted 18 year olds. I can find women in their early 20s attractive. I just amvery strongly attracted to that early college age range, and on the other hand have trouble even seeing late 20s/early 30s women in a sexual light.
Then find some early 20s girls. You stopped dating but are now moaning about a lack of squirming early 20s pussy on your face. Start dating again.
Dunno man, it sounds like you're thirsty, as anyone with a head on their shoulders knows 18-21 is a bad range to expect anything serious from.
Like at a certain point trying to pin everything to numeric age is dumb cause there's always gonna be edge cases and people who look younger or older and different life circumstances But if I *had* to draw lines and classiffy everything that way I'd say:
18-22: Hyper-attracted, regularly develop schoolboy crushes, especially around age 19-20.
22-25: Occasionally somewhat attracted if they're fit
25-28: Only rarely attracted
28+: Typically feel no physical attraction/do not perceive as sexual being and treat like man.
Does that maybe clarify? Obviously there are for example young looking 23 year olds who I do find hot.
This is a case where you probably need to just get it wet and then you'll gradually regain your taste for something more than sex. Your dry spell is making your dick talk shit about your brain so you gotta go get it what it wants.
See the tough part is that personality is a factor in this too.. I pretty much lived a settled life with my ex through most of my own 20s and before that had very restrictive parents and didn't even get to see or talk to friends outside of school when I was a teenager So I absolutely crave being around the young party kid crowd because I never had that, I treasure having young male friends as well and getting to spend time with them, am drawn to very young women because they are are often lively, high energy, excitable.
>this also involves repression For which I would just straight up suggest therapy, so.
I have a therapist, when I bring this up with him he pretty much tells me that there's nothing wrong with my feelings, that society is just hyper-conscious of that type of thing right now but I shouldn't let it get to me, and if I want women like that by all means go ahead and hit on 19 year olds. However, I still feel like there's something wrong in spite of what he says. Plus it's not like my batting average is especially high with girls that young. Like I said I haven't got laid since I was 29 (it was with a 19 year old, but she ghosted me after we hooked up).
Your therapist is right, stop obsessing and go with the flow.
your therapist sounds kinda shitty desu there's definitely more to this than "lol its just society bro"
He may be, doesn't change the fact that my inability to feel physical attraction towards women in my own age range has left me high and dry, because most girls that young aren't lining up to date 32 year olds.
I mean, what would *you* say, other than delving into the reasons I'm like this, which I've already spent time doing both with and without him?
>something is wrong Yeah. You're fucking 30, you want something to settle in with. Your sexual repulsion from the pool of likeliest proper mates is bugging you because your attraction to the least likely proper mates is wasting your damn time and you've done enough of that.
But he's right, it looks like you've built something up in your head. You need to break that wall and I do believe hitting on some ladies is part of it. Even just learning that they're vacuous. Or who knows maybe you're winner. My mom was 9 years younger than my dad IIRC. Or maybe that's elsewhere in the family.
Anyway, if you got a 19 year old an made her happy and were happy with her, it wouldn't end the world.
I think he mainly says that to encourage me not to feel like a perv/predator.
I dunno I'm not a therapist but "don't worry about it it's just society" is not really constructive or empowering when you're trying to actually solve a problem. If my therapist said something like that to me I would kinda feel pissed off. They should be giving you a strategy to change either your actions or thought process. I don't need to pay someone just to tell me "dont worry about it" like yeah no shit if I could do that I wouldn't be in therapy.
Well, he is: He's telling me it's just society because he wants me not to inhibit myself from hitting on young girls. To elaborate, he actually kind of says some of what this person says:
That is, I'm blowing this up in my head, and if I actually got the chance to be with some young women like I crave, either the reality would destroy the fantasy, or if it actually worked out so much the better.
To be fair, it's not like I'm doing a ton of approaching - I do a little, but I've also been extremely busy with school and work for the last couple years. It's only in the last couple months, with my final quarter of undergrad and only one class left, that I've been getting out a lot again. So it's possible if I try to disinhibit myself my luck will change with the change in circumstances. But, honestly I feel really bad about this.
I think it's quite normal.
Women who are 30+ are well past their SMV peak because their fertility window is closing and their ability to give birth to healthy children (without genetic defects like autism) grows smaller by the day. Your male brain is designed to pick up on this.
Men are naturally programmed to mate with young, barely adult women. That's just reality. Women are at their most sexually attractive age 18 to 25 so no wonder the average 32 year old woman doesn't excite you. She's atleast 7 years past her prime and i'm being generous here because i've seen some women gradually declining in looks as early as 23 or 24 y/o.
Society tries to get you to date a woman of your own age because the feminine imperative is afraid that too many of these 30+ y/o cock carousel veterans or single mothers will be left on the shelf.