Preventing Aggresive Behaviour?

I am not home until I get sleep deprived and feel like I could pass out standing up and then I get dreams interupted by him and then leave its a neverending cycle been happening again since I had to move back a year ago

I thought about homeless shelter or welfare but I refuse to take assistance from anyone and ive been thinking about living in a bush in a tent but ill only b able to do that until winter

Op here, I think its possible to correct how he treats me so im tackling the problem head on

Op here, hes heard me say all this and more and nothing has changed

Have a bump

Try to find a way to move out. In the meanwhile, don't debase yourself.. Maybe go outside with a blanket and find a spot where you can have a nap if you need sleep during the day ?... I don't know OP sounds very tough. Good luck

Op here, Good plan, it solves personal setbacks by reducing stress and allowing me to live in a more functional manor, but I would like to have a positive connection with him, it's inevidable that he'll be around 4 most of my life and that effects other people aswell. If I can't be happy around him, I cant lift other peoples spirits at gatherings. There's more then just my own interests to consider and I want to be careful to not act overly selfish. It's not a problem of needing a break or escape. Putting up with it as been a factor/played a part in giving me a thick skin, I can handle it. I'd like to be in a position where I want to be around him. If that can happen I'll be able to be a better family member and example for those around me. I'm looking for something along the lines of an ethic code, a moral conduct, a mantra, an archetype, some viewpoint, idea or thought that I can use to extinguish his sabotaging nature. A way to show him how I need 2 b treated. I've tried through actions, I moved out at 16 for 3 years, went through a phase of ignoring him but that made him resent me and led to pent up emotions. I don't take bullshit, whenever he goes off I say "alright I got something I need 2 do cya l8r" after he starts repeating himself three times over, or I go out of my way to remedy what he bitches about, I need a way that it never comes 2 that. I want 2 b treated like an adult human being who isn't used as a tool and is cared about and thought of, he's capable of compassion it's just incredibly rare, how do I bring that side of him out?

where are you when this happens? What were you doing specifically when it happens?

never mind this post Op.
The way I do shit like this is that I listen carefully to what they say and then flip it back on them.

Find shit that says "you have no right to judge me you hypocrite."

Only place he sees me is at home. He always seems to find something that I'm doing wrong. I welcome criticism but his is over the top and most times, has nothing behind it. It's like micro-managing, telling me I shouldn't stand somewhere, telling me I shouldn't talk, telling me to do something I already have, telling me not to act rude when I'm not, telling me what I do is a waste of my time (workout, learn, practice music), saying I don't accomplish or contribute enough while I've had full time jobs working 15 hr shifts. He finds anything and everything to try and say I'm fucking up. The other day he said I was washing dishes wrong and proceeded to show me how to do it exactly the way I did, then stood behind me and narrarated how I should b doing it. I worked as a dishwasher for a month when I was travelling in another town. Another example, one day my sisters shoe was in the middle of the kitchen, he says "why the fuck is this here, pick it up so its not in the way, put it where it belongs" then as I bend over and pick it up he does at the exact same time amd he says "what the fuck are you doing, im obviusly bent over picking it up why are you? Put it in my hand". Almost every scenario is reminiscent of those two.

the dude has OCD and needs to micro manage everything. Also move out, he is making life a living hell because he wants you out.

He's very confrontational and defensive, hes a big guy and always trys to out-macho me by getting in my face or threatening. He never gets physical but when I was younger he pushed me around a few times and grabbed me by the hair once or twice or tripped me and dislocated my knee one occasion and always really yelled and hes intimidating. I don't cave under his pressure anymore like I used to, but when I try 2 prove him wrong he just keeps going and I give up because theres no winning with him, I know what I could say to give him a reality check, but doing that will dig me into a hole because he has a fragile ego and goes for revenge. I let him get away with bullying me and laugh along with him but its this weird nervous anxious feeling, I don't let it last as I am capable of re-diverting conversation, but he has a running gag of how much he enjoys fucking with me. Shit like waking me up by asking if I need to get punched in the balls and stuff. I have to be really careful with how I try to show him whats acceptable because I cant look like a pussy or like im weak or he starts saying it could b worse, dont b over dramatic, so I try to just educate him (genuinely and whole heartedly) when it comes to the logic he uses which is inherintly flawed, but he takes that personally. I need to be the bigger man but he acts immature and things are so touchy that conversating with him feels like a mine field. I pretty much pretend like im in court and Im a lawyer whos representing myself and cant say anything that would backfire.

dude, if you arent able to kick his ass move out. The man clearly has a history failures and he takes it out on you. If you are underage i would say go to the police because that stuff he did and is doing would be considered abuse.

OP here, pretty much, when I move out or travel he guilts me for not spending time with family. I think I make him uncomfortable because he isnt happy with who he turned into, and I remind him of himself when he was young, so he wants to make sure I dont make his mistakes. He doesnt believe im capable. If he didnt doubt me things would be better. I know if I make him proud he will change his ways, its hard 2 do that and have him in my life at the same time because he drags me down when hes around. I refuse to burn the bridge though because I know he can be saved. I see glimmers of who he could be. I just need to pick and choose when I spend time with him but hes so inconsistent, theres no telling when hes going to decide hes got a problem with me.

nothing will change op, making him proud is impossible if thats what you focus on.
You doing things for yourself and leaving the house is the only way to go here. Dont try to gain his love, he thinks you are a pussy for even trying, instead move the fuck out and live on your own.

assuming this person is your parent, there is nothing you can do but stop caring about what they have to say and go into every argument knowing that everything they’re about to say is meaningless unless you make it not so.

had a parent with similar behaviors, only solution was distance.

OP here, I should, and I'm in the process of working towards that. That will be a bandaid on the giant slash that is our relationship. How could I help him get over it, stop regretting his life and start changing? Im an adult and I wouldnt consider it abuse, I know its not right and I wont put up with it forever but I am going to try and help him work past it.

OP here, Ive accepted thats a possibility. I live for myself and try 2 improve who I am. Soon enough I'll earn myself a place im more comfortable in. Until then I'm not trapped or in over my head, I'm trying to get across to him what I'm going through and what this all does to me. He seems to be oblivious to the consequences of his actions and I want to make things clear for him so he can see that all he has to do is work on his temper and hear people out.

stop fucking trying to get him to understand. He already knows and it pisses him off that you keep trying.

> help him

cool, move out first.

Yes they are my father, I already have, I look past his emotional response and try to decipher where hes coming from and why. I know hes got a message, just has trouble with expressing it. I want him to know im not even fighting him, let alone defending myself, so why is it continueing? Its like its him against the world and im shouldering most of the burden without him realizing. I know time will heal this but im wondering how 2 accelerate the process. Moving is only part of the solution.

OP here, what can I do after?

OP here, That could be it. I guess maybe things may just pan out in my favour if I try 2 ignore the bullshit. I could b adding insult 2 injury, maybe I just gotta play things off and they'll simmer down, just sorta keep it calm cool n collected. Thats actually kind of eye opening.