>Been dating a guy for 4 years now. >A majority of that time it's been open per his request. >I tolerated as not to infringe on his "right" to experience and autonomy as person. >Shabby boundaries lead to discord. >Couple years of trial and error in order to find "happy" medium. >More or less functional. >Find myself an apprenticeship near him. >Money is going to be tight. >He offers to let me move in rent free. >Just utilities and help when I can. >I'm hesitant due to the nature of our dynamic >That also means forfeiting my apartment and moving 45 minutes from current job/major city. >He vows to desist from activities that would compromise our relationship. >With a bit of coaxing, decide to move in. >Be there for 3 days. >He leaves FB up on desktop in our bedroom. >See he's planning to hook up with local thot when I'm at at work. >Confront him. >Lies to my face. >Argument ensues. >He says "I imagine you'll want you'll want to move in the next few weeks" accompanied with relationship ending talk. >Bargain for monogamy for 1 year so I can make it through a majority of my apprenticeship. >He begrudgingly agrees. >Now 5 months later. >He leaves FB up on desktop in our bedroom. >Flirting with another local thot.
What should I do? I've since changed jobs to be closer and devote more time to my apprenticeship. I don't want to compromise my potential career but years of being a cuck have taken a toll on my psyche.
>I tolerated as not to infringe on his "right" to experience and autonomy as person. What does that even fucking mean?
John Thompson
A pretentious way to say you gain different things from different people.
Aiden Taylor
Stop being a cuckquean and break up
Have some self respect for God's sake
Anthony Richardson
I don't know what to say, because I don't understand how the story didn't end at >A majority of that time it's been open per his request.
What did you expect from someone that wanted an open relationship? He pointed out clearly from the very beginning that he wanted to have sex with other women. Did you think he just wanted to sleep around for a little while and then he would become an adequate boyfriend?
Initially I was more inclined to the idea. Around year 2 it developed into a more traditional relationship with more commitment involved. Talks of marriage, joint insurance, sharing vehicles, etc. There will be periods where he'll advocate for more solidified ideals only to shut me out emotionally shortly after. I don't believe this to be works of my own utopian pipedream.
Camden Jones
You've decided to take his financial support despite knowing he's a liar and will probably never stop fucking other people.
So, what's the problem? If you don't like the deal you made then support yourself instead of expecting someone else to do it.
Carson Lopez
Gee mister ain't that a nuance idea.
Obviously that's on the table but it isn't a viable option at this point in time. This isn't a rom com where you surge off with your newly found self respect and eat pray love yourself into a new life. It's more or less playing damage control with the situation with I've foolishly placed myself in.
Benjamin Russell
Mentally exit the relationship so his actions no longer have any effect on you. Once you're able to leave this situation and find a new place, you can properly break up and move on with your life. There's no point in continually getting hurt by the relationship when your expectations for it aren't matching reality.
What do you expect here? Someone to tell you how to make your boyfriend magically change so that you're happy with him?
You don't want to support yourself then keep playing pretend, but you're an idiot if you don't try to put yourself into a better position as quickly as possible.
Eli Clark
those 5 months you lived rent free, did you not save up any money? move out if you didn't and you genuinely didn't see this coming then you're a fucking idiot
Eli Jenkins
He has zero feelings for you. Do what's best for your career / education. The relationship is done and don't fall for this trap again.
Owen Cook
No. I know I can't force that. Just insight from perspectives similar to his own and perhaps stratagies to better aliviate potential stress from our live in interactions.
Colton James
I can do that to some extent. He takes offense with limited engagement so I suppose it's a matter of how to regulate it.
Benjamin Collins
Do you ever suck his cock while it's still covered with other girls juices? That's hot.
Isaiah Moore
What I'm saying is, mentally check out from the romantic aspect of your relationship. Be friends with him and interact normally, just forget the idea of any devotional partnership with him.
Oliver Gray
Rent free but not bill free and it isn't like I'm not contributing to the household. The hours given to my apprenticeship do not allow for the full time job required to support myself independently. I took a risk in hopes of a better future for myself. I don't regret that.
Charles Adams
I'm sure I have lol
Justin Jones
Should I inform him of this? If so how to approach it without severe fallout. We sleep in the same bed so he's bound to question the shift sooner or later.
Joseph Smith
yes but it's still a large chunk cheaper cause you're not paying rent, you'd be paying those utilities and food contributions anyway
it sounds to me that you; >met a guy who told you he wanted an open relationship >agree to this >move in with him because you need to >find out he is actually taking advantage of having an open relationship >take this as an insult to yourself, even though that's what you agreed was happening >he made it clear he's not happy with the relationship, hinting that you need to find somewhere else to live >manipute the situation to keep the relationship going so that you can stay living there and have 'a better future for [yourself]', regardless of how he feels >in fact, you seem to know that he wasn't happy to still be with you, since he begrudgingly agreed to stay >now he's fallen back in to his open relationship tendencies which he told you about years ago, and still youre looking for ways to get the best for yourself
tell me, if you didn't need to be there for a job, how long would this relationship have lasted? when did you realise you didn't want to spend the rest of your life with him?
why enter a relationship where you feel like you have to 'tolerate' their desires rather than embrace them? you were doomed from the start, and the blame is on yourself. i don't understand what you're hoping to achieve from this thread, you need to move out and sort you life out instead of leeching off this poor guy in a relationship neither of you really want to be in anymore
Blake Lee
You don't have to tell him anything. If you think informing him will have negative consequences, then don't.
From what it sounds like, he's already done the same thing if he has no problem talking and meeting up with other women. He doesn't see himself as purely devoted to you, so why should you see it that way? It doesn't mean you should just give him the cold shoulder if you like him otherwise. If you want to have sex with him, then have sex with him, if you don't, then don't. Don't let the way someone else feels control what you want, even if it means having to move out somewhere else.
Luis Hall
He cucked you once, shame on him. He cucked you twice, and that's no one else's fault but your own. If he cheated (or planned to cheat) once, he'll do it again. Cheaters rarely change, and when they do, it's because they suffered a major, life changing consequence from their actions. You've taught him that he can literally whatever he wants and you'll stay with him. There's no solution to this problem other than breaking up ASAP.
Eli Scott
You speak as if I was the initial arbiter of this arrangement. He offered and pushed for me to move in under the terms he had set. I uprooted myself from the security I had with the perceived understanding that implied monogamy to which he agreed. Yes that was a point of discourse that was resolved in a shit way. That doesn't negate that at somewhere in his mind he thought positively of consolidating some sort of closer bond. I don't understand why he'd put so much effort to bringing me enfold to treat so laissez-faire.
Had this bait and switch not occured I could see it carrying on indefinitely. It takes on a new level of gravity when it's brandished in my face and I have no immediate refuge from it. I still love him. I wish I wasn't mislead.
I've stated my reasoning don't care to do so again.
Alexander Moore
You fucked up astronomically the second you even considered an open relationship just to appease a dude.
