Confess or suffer

Thank you
You put in in the perspective of the long run and I do deserve to suffer for what I did, so no confession for me

>I am sure to loser her
Most likely, but this is the consequence of your actions. Would you like to simply not be told if she fucked some Chad then regretted it? You say you love her, but then you don't respect her enough to be honest with her, instead wanting to be deceptive. A lie of omission is still a lie. To think she has remained pure her entire life, and you cheapened it. Go ahead and take her virginity and then tell me how that weighs on you for the rest of your life.

>It would not hurt her a bit at that time.
Women don't get divorces for long past affairs? What world do you live in?

Nah you're a piece of shit. Break up with her so she can get with someone who actually appreciates her and isn't a giant slut who thinks with his dick.

Yep. I'm right and that's all there is to it. Don't let the trolls fuck you up.

you confessed to god? why would god care? how is god going to remedy the situation? You and your girlfriend are who are affected by your shitty action. Take responsibility for it

You really are actually scum. It is unbelievable that you'd treat her like a child instead of take the mature route and admit your error.

You are a child opining about adult relationships.

Nah, mate, you ain`t getting shit
I can redeem myself and I will
I will take it in the grave if I need to and work to make her the happiest woman ever

What adults ? I am 19, I can`t even pay my fucking bills yet

>I will take it in the grave if I need to and work to make her the happiest woman ever
By lying to her for the rest of her life? This is precisely how a child thinks. Have some integrity and respect for your partner.

>I am 19, I can`t even pay my fucking bills yet
Figures.

You clearly know nothing about woman nature. Even the most religious girl will cheat if another man impresses her enough. She might not be as easy as other girls, but there's always a man she will get wet for. A woman lives for herself, and no one else. Not even her kids. She might fool you into thinking so, but her kids keep a man taking care of her and will owe her a debt when she's older. Women are selfish, and would not even think about it afterwards if she were to do the same. So just forget it and move on, you have nothing to feel bad for. Shit, perhaps you can start 'cheating' with other women once you get over this. No man should ever be tied down to one woman.

I won`t ever get her trust back If I confess
I will never marry her if I confess
I am not setting me and her on fire just because of 1 fuck up
I am not even married yet !
If I am not scum, I won`t repeat it and live a hapy life, else, you`ll see me around here again

* tips fedora *

Not telling her isn't some "noble sacrifice", it's deliberate deception. If you tell her years later she might feel that the whole relationship has been built on a lie.

Come clean, apologize with every ounce of your soul, then let her make an informed choice about whether she wants to continue the relationship. And next time an ex comes around while you're in a relationship? Show her the door and let off steam by jerking off. It's not actually that hard to not cheat...

>If I am not scum, I won`t repeat it and live a hapy life, else, you`ll see me around here again
You are scum precisely because you won't take responsibility for your actions. Tell me, when she loses her virginity to you, do you think that she is going to imagine that you have been faithful to her the entire time? Is she some child to you not deserving of being you equal?

Confession absolves you of the sin of having an affair with your ex. Do you really think that it applies going forward with lying to your girlfriend? You are putting yourself in a state of sin, and one that you can't ever get rid of because cleaning the slate requires that you desire contrition. Keeping it up for the rest of your life negates that.

Hope you enjoy being toasty.

I have no idea what I thought or why

You are a woman, aren`t you ?
Would you be able to forgive ?

It also sounds like you're trying to distance yourself from the act even as you sort of half-assedly take responsibility. Unless you were very intoxicated, which is a whole other issue, it didn't "just happen." You chose and continued to choose while you and she fucked.

Maybe you aren't ready for a commited relationship yet anyway. Do some growing up first, become an actual man not a boy. And that isn't intended to be as mean as it might sound, 19 is very young and a lot of 19 year olds are far from ""settling down" or whatever you want to call it and there's nothing wrong with that. When it becomes wrong is when you try to have your cake and eat it too, ie have the emotional safety and fulfilment of a commitment relationship but also fuck who you want ... Unless you're into ethical non-monogomy or polyamory, but I'm guessing that given you're an Orthodox Christian that isn't something that really fits your worldview

I DON`T WANT TO FUCK ANYBODY ELSE
I SINCERELY DONT
BUT WHO WILL BELIEVE ME NOW

This is so scummy. She deserves someone better but op is probably gonna hide it instead of manning up. I hope God smites you.

i say be a man and suck it up. it's just you that can't bare with the thought, this need of telling her its actually selfish. you did it you have to suck it up. marry her, take her virginity and after a few years if you still need to confess, do it then. you will ruin your own life if you tell her now. i think the guilt its punishment enough.

I mean, can you really blame them? Actions > Words

This is quite the predicament. I have never cheated on my gf, and the one time I was even slightly CLOSE to doing it (touching hands) I almost went into a sort of epileptic shock. If I actually had sex with someone and cheated on my gf I would probably die, literally.

So I'm not sure. I would never cheat on my gf, in fact I'd do anything for a beautiful, virgin girl. Been single a very lonely 3 years. But if I ever did cheat, I would tell my gf. If she loves you she will forgive you. Look, I never like to give advice like this since everyone's personal relationship with God is different. However, I think, if you are really trying to be Christian, and uphold Christian values want to really let Christ fill you with his Glory, well honesty is a Christian virtue as Christ is the pinnacle of Truth.

>John 44- You people are from your father the devil, and you want to do what your father desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and he does not uphold the truth, because there is no truth in him. Whenever he lies, he speaks according to his own nature, because he is a liar and the father of lies.

I think that you have to tell your girlfriend what happened. But I don't know exactly what happened.

Anyway, whatever you do, I love you, you come through as a good person in your post. You'll make the right decision.

Cheers

youtube.com/watch?v=kWvbJsB0OBc

Attached: 4c094c03e547e95c70d25b0ec2629c9e.jpg (374x500, 31K)

I have no idea what I am gonna do
All the posters here told me nothing that I didn`t think about already
They are just external schizophrenia for me

Thank you so much
I need to have faith in God and her love
But it`s hard

Absolutely disgusting. Advising people to hide their cheating makes you a shit person too.

>You are a woman, aren`t you ?
I'm not a woman.

>Would you be able to forgive ?
If I had a partner cheat on me, I'd sure as hell deserve to know. Personally, I'd instantly leave that relationship.

The harm to the relationship is already done whether or not you try to hide it. You destroyed the foundation of the relationship which is trust. It doesn't matter whether or not you are successful with your deception. You will take this girl's purity knowing full well what you've done, and allowing her to follow through without that knowledge. As King David would say, you've already accused yourself with your own words because you admitted that she'd think differently if she knew the truth. You lying to her does NOTHING to help her, but is entirely self-serving.

Then no words shall be spoken and I will just be a good husband to her

>non-monogomy or polyamory

Contradiction in terms. We are humans, not animals.

>Ethical non-monogomy or polyamory****

Entering into marriage under false pretenses isn't being a good husband.

There is no such thing

If I confess and she leaves me, that`s it, I am moving to a monastery and becoming a monk
Will come back with updates before marriage or becoming a monk
Cheers

This is gross. Tell her, she deserves to know.

>We are humans, not animals
Lol...
>Contradiction of terms
Only if you're a religious/conservative type. Non-monogomy becomes ethical when all parties have given informed, enthusiastic consent. Obviously not the case here .

who put you in charge of the collective moral sense? he should tell the truth okay?! i agree with you, but take in consideration he is 19, he would fuck a can of yogurt if given the chance. no sense in destroying his life just cause a stupid mistake he did when he was 19...cause i tell you he will regret this girl for his entire life once he gets in the game and sees how women actually are.you are too harsh.

I'm the one with the good advice. Can't sleep so I check on you. I've been with the same woman for 26 years. I am not a child. You aren't lying about shit. You made a personal mistakes and you learned. Taking your example to even younger. 12 year olds go together and Expect everything to be like a marriage. It isn't. That's just kids playing house. You are growing. This may be the thing that makes you "grown." You think this is a big deal. It only is if you do it again. You take care of this girl for a couple decades and.. Well. I'm pretty sure you understand. You have a bunch of kids in here calling you a kid. You are more wise than they are. Don't tell her. Just be the good man that you have become. And sure. Tell her when she's fifty. Have a laugh. Your probably going to realize it isn't necessary.

He should regret it and she deserves someone that will appreciate her. Motherfuckers who think with their dick shouldn't get to win.

Thank you so much
My soul torments me enough, the disgusting posters point of view are the first things I think about anyway
What if, after some years in which I was clean, but we are not married yet, I tell her the truth ?
I would have proven to myself and her that I corrected myself, and I wouldn`t steal her purity yet

>If I confess and she leaves me, that`s it.
Do you love her? Do you believe honesty and respect are important in a relationship? Everything you've said this entire time has been about how this situation affects you and your life. Your girlfriend that you claim to want to marry has been merely an afterthought. She might leave you, but then you hurt her badly. If you actually truly LOVE her more than yourself, you will recognize that THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU. Otherwise, you are merely a pretender, selfishly pursuing the path which benefits you the most, not her.

>You are more wise than they are
I have yet to meet a truly wise 19 year old, and include my former self in this. Intelligent yes wise no.

>Everything you've said this entire time has been about how this situation affects you and your life. Your girlfriend that you claim to want to marry has been merely an afterthought.
Read this again OP.

Admit it to her and let her choose. The foundation of your relationship being deception is not healthy.

Seems your wisdom is growing by leaps and bounds in the last hour. I don't think I need to check back with you. Enjoy the shit show in here.

>I'm the one with the good advice.
Good advice requires taking personal responsibility and actually considering the needs of your partner. Building an entire life with someone on a lie is low and outright devious. Treating your partner like they are some toy who doesn't deserve the respect of knowing shows a complete lack of mature reasoning. OP was the one who made the mistake, it is for him to deal with the consequences, not take it out on her via deception.

how old are you? you sound like an edgy 15 that doesn't understand how the world works. i've spoken with many married men. they all cheat. my father included. this might be just what it takes for him to never do it when they are actally married. he know it wont be worth it now. or perhaps he will do it again but who knows? time will tell.

She doesn't deserve the pain and disrespect. She did nothing wrong.

Niggers, you know what is easy ?
CONFESSING
CONFESSING IS FUCKING EASY
You know what isn`t ? Breaking her heart
All this thread was done because I don`t want to break her heart. She would suffer tremendously. I said I am ready to leave the world if I she decides she wants to be happy with someone else after this, please, put yourself in my shoes a second
You`ve been gifted so much and fucked it up
Now go to the one who gifted and tell it about it
You just have what you had before, but you destroy the one who gifted
You don`t lose anything in comparasition to what you have, but how can you go in front of the one you should be ternally thankful too ? Does that seem easy ?

>She doesn't deserve the pain and disrespect. She did nothing wrong.
That bridge was burnt the moment OP decided to fuck his ex. He has hurt her regardless. He needs to come clean now so she can decide what she wants to do in light of that.

Grow a spine you snake and tell her the truth. Let her choose. Don't make the choice for her. She's supposedly who you love but you're gonna treat her like an object?

Yeah the world is full of garbage people without an ounce of morality who will hide behind a thousand self justifications.

Please read the post above again

>put yourself in my shoes a second
I can't because I wouldn't cheat on the person I love most in the world. But that isn't even enough, you not only cheats on her, but then actively hide it like that somehow makes it better. DO YOU RESPECT HER? Do you thinking deception shows respect?

>Does that seem easy?
Doing what is right isn't always easy, but it is right.

There are no burnt bridges. That information will destroy her for the rest of her life and ruin any future relations for her and her lover. I love how you kids learn by being combatants. Nobody deserves that shit.

It will also damage relations with any son she may have and perpetuate mistreated women for generations.

I'm 30 actually. 19 year-olds tend to treat relationships as far more transitory, so the whole destroying her forever thing is a weak justification to support doing wrong by her. Part of this is growing up on her part too. She needs to learn that some people will break your trust, like OP. That lesson will pay dividends in the future.

>It will also damage relations with any son she may have and perpetuate mistreated women for generations.
This is a grandiose over-reach. You have no hope of ever being able to substantiate such a claim.

If this is real op won't admit it to her because his faith and dedication to her is a lie. He's too self centered to enter into the kingdom of God and it saddens me she'll be the victim of his deception.

Honestly, this is my take as well. He's shown a clear preference towards himself over the one he purports to love enough to marry. Everything has been about spinning it and finding support in a way to make him seem justified in following through with the deception, though at least the majority of the thread seems to have good moral reasoning in seeing through the transparent charade.

Not only are cheaters lazy and dishonest, they are cowards.

I lump you with a bunch of shit talkers. Your still just a pup though. She don't need that. He can leave due to lack of interest if he feels so guilty. Nobody needs to be made to feel worthless about some shit that had nothing to do with their actions. She will think that she wasn't good enough and carry it forever. Just because "kids these days" are animals, don't mean it should be a free for all of everyone getting fucked in the head. Are you advising to harm innocent people? This isn't marriage. If I fucked around on my wife, this would be a lot tougher question. Probably better to tell her instantly.

And then will I profess unto them, I never
knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

>I lump you with a bunch of shit talkers.
I will let you know when your opinion counts for something.

>Your still just a pup though.
Apparently one with better moral reasoning from life experience.

>She don't need that. He can leave due to lack of interest if he feels so guilty.
This actually isn't a terrible idea, and one he should consider, but he'll never do it. His selfishness is apparent.

>Nobody needs to be made to feel worthless about some shit that had nothing to do with their actions.
He admitted that she'd leave him if she knew. How can it be justified as in HER BEST INTEREST to do exactly the opposite?

>She will think that she wasn't good enough and carry it forever.
This is broad conjecture. The long-term ramifications can't be precisely known. That said, it will elucidate looking further into people you think you can trust. This is an important lesson for any rising adult.

>Are you advising to harm innocent people?
Really? Using loaded questions? This is rather pathetic. She has already been harmed. Whether or not OP admits his transgressions, he damages things regardless of the path he takes. She'll be hurt if he tells her. Deceiving her is also objectively wrong. Though honestly, him voluntarily leaving, which you did point out, is probably the best option for all involved.

That was self sabotage. Why? Don't feel like you deserve this girl/this new life? Why?

>>I lump you with a bunch of shit talkers
I was apologizing.
She doesn't need to be hurt. He can stay or go. Whatever. I cannot judge if he is selfish or remorseful. But I would assume that if it was selfish, he wouldn't be here getting assblasted. I'm thinking he may take better care of the girl than the next guy who doesn't even give a fuck what we think. She hasn't already been harmed. If so, no need to harm her further just to teach her a lesson. The difference between me and you is that I realized what a fool I was when I was in my thirties. You aren't making much dialectic since. I don't need to nitpick every word you say. are we talking or do you just want the last word? My advice is sound reason with no bs opinion or emotion.

You alredy found God, follow in his teachings

If you don't tell her, you suffer.

If you tell her, she suffers.

Which of you deserves to suffer?