Graduated college with no job

It's less your ideals of romance and more the fact this smells fishy and red flaggy af.

Just looking for an exit strategy. Do I pack behind their backs or in their faces? Do I announce when I'm leaving and how far in advance?

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How is this fishy or red flaggy at all? His family all knows about me, and some of my old classmates know too. I'm certain he would never hurt me.

>Its very hard to find a man my age as down to earth as he is.

how would you know? you just graduated college and have apparently been dating this guy since you turned 18. it's not like you've actually done any searching.

the thing that is a red flag isn't that he's fat or poor. it's that he is much older and hasn't accomplished anything in his life, nor does he sound like he has any direction. so despite what else you have to say about him, he doesn't sound very mature.

also, who cares if your parents call the cops? there is no crime being committed if you move in with your boyfriend. you're an adult. cops can't and won't do anything more than a welfare check, even they even do that.

Why unessasarily isolate urself tho?sounds stupid dumb

Why would you date him lol

Fuck of kike

This is how most abusive ldr situations develop. Get a job and get your own place near him, so he can kill you in your own place instead of having your parents in your ass because you left to an undisclosed location and they don't hear from you ever again. If you're fine with that, you need to accept that risk of losing your parents as protectors and make friends in his area that will talk to you.

Haha... No idea what you mean about the isolating thing. I have no friends here now and would be making new ones. Also, this is just how I am. I am like Watamote's Tomoko with social interactions.

>that pic
You're a tranny aren't you lmao

Okay, he has direction and is working now. He also just got promoted and is still doing job applications for something better. He used to be pretty successful but bad things happened and he started hating life etc... Turned things way around etc...

I dont know why there is so much focus on him. Can we just do this assuming he is not going to murder me and I just want to keep it a secret because I dont want them to freak out the way everyone on this board is?? Jesus Christ.

I dont want them to get so freaked out that they do that. Theyd have to get pretty psyched to do that.

>to not be
This is a split infinitive, user. Try not to include a word in between "to" and a verb. Like, don't say "to quickly run," instead say "to run quickly." In this situation, you could say "not to be attractive" instead of the incorrect "to not be attractive." Removing split infinitives from your writing helps you look more professional.

Just wont know until I am out the house. He wont kill me. He will at most brag about me. If they cant accept him once I am out, then its on them. But if they know before I leave then Im fucked and they will disown me like they did my older sister that claimed to be lesbian.

What's his position now that he got promoted?

Oh shit, thanks. They don't teach you little things like that in school. And if they did, I probably forgot it.

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That's irrelevant. He is improving and me depending on him is temporary, but I have money saved in case it goes to shit.

Welp, good luck with your shitty relationship

And you're a retard. Lmao.

user, there's not a good way to lie to your parents about an socially unacceptable relationship. If you trust them to offer sound life advice, I would tell them sooner than later. They might have ideas and suggestions of which you haven't thought.

Everyone is certain the person they're starting to date isn't going to hurt them. But it's not about even that. You're infatuated.

Sooner or later the honeymoon feels will fade and you'll find out why an older man relies on naive 18 year olds on the internet to date. Might even be he's insufferably annoying which you won't realise until you've chilled your hormones.

Who knows at what point that'll come up? Maybe you're right and it won't at all. But it just looks off is all. I cant convince you. I know that. I don't want to. Either you're right or youre about to learn a valuable lesson.

Or the honeymoon period for HIM ends and he returns to whatever lifestyle he had before that left him broken, and OP is left holding the bag. And maybe pregnant or with a few kids by that point. Then she's forever tied down by someone who, over time, she has come to loathe.

>is working now

yikes. i didn't even think he was unemployed, but that's a huge red flag. so irresponsible.

>he has direction now

what are his goals in life? work a job he's not committed to while half-heartedly applying for any better paying job?

look, dude. i don't think he's gonna murder you. but he sounds like a fucking loser. i dated losers when i was your age, too. and i made all kinds of excuses for them, too. people just didn't understand, i was in love, they were good on the inside and that's what counted. right? i ended up in situations like yours as well - moving in with boyfriends i didn't know very well because i needed support and my family wasn't there for me. this was like 8 years ago. those guys ended up being abusive, controlling assholes. they didn't deserve the excuses i made for them. these guys were in their 20s. guess what they've accomplished now? nothing. they're still doing the exact same shit that they were at that age. no growth, no direction. this guy you're dating is presumably already older than these guys i dated are now. he still hasn't gotten his shit together. you should run, not walk, away from this relationship. you are young, you have a college degree. there are plenty of other dudes out there that are a better match for you.

This is good advice, my girlfriend’s mum was suspicious when she came to visit me in the UK (she’s russian) and would call her every hour to check she’s okay.

I went to Moscow to meet her family and came with flowers and gifts and showed her that I treated her daughter with genuine love and care. And she relaxed a hell of a lot.

I’m neither yt or rich

I've been infatuated before and this is not that. Not hopelessly in love either. I don't know what it is for how he feels for me, but I feel pretty stable emotionally and would enjoy having him as a life companion. We are both adults and get along very well. There are no secrets between us.

I will admit that how we met was pretty unconventional. He didnt learn my age until later but he should have guessed. That's kind of creepy and I'd never go for someone way younger than me, but my parents are also in a happy relationship with an age gap, and my boyfriend was also in a relationship with a mature woman we he was younger... Dont remember how that ended.

If your parents disown you for going out of your way to date a loser guy then it's still going to happen if you leave without telling them after they put out a missing persons report on you. Ready to dye your hair?

I would never get pregnant to him. I do not want kids.

So I was right. No wonder you're so desperate.

>I've been infatuated before and this is not that.
What if you were and your infatuation is making you think you genuinely want him as a life partner? What if he goes back to being unemployed and you end up being the breadwinner, and poor, as he sits at home while you have two jobs to make the rent and pay the bills? Would you be okay with that? What if things aren't as good as they seem from long distance?

>I'll never get pregnant to him
Oh hun, rape happens most frequently in consentual close relationships. Your boo isn't an exception. And you're self admittedly throwing yourself into a dumpster fire.

Well, sorry your relationships didnt turn out good. If it doesnt work out I will just move on. He has never been mean to me. He did not even want to try doing the rough things I wanted done during sex. Despite him being unemployed after misfortune, he still gets a little income from something else (not welfare or disability checks).

I don't think I have specific concrete goals or direction either honestly. Just want to make enough to do what I like and need to do until I have to die. I do not take life that seriously. If he got a $65k/yr job, would it then be acceptable in your book? To just have as a boyfriend and live with? Those are rhetorical questions. You don't know him.

No... I was actua-
You know what? Nevermind.

It's not about him reaching a $65k/year job. It's about him being emotionally and behaviorally available to allow you to live the life you want without reverting back to the apparently ugly existence he lived for years and perhaps his whole life before he met you. Remember, you're the stranger in his life--you should expect any "change" in his life to be temporary. If you're okay with that, at least you're setting up your future self with less disappointment.

What race is he?

$5 says he's black. Maybe Indian but I'm going with black.

Palestinian. He lives in the Gaza, where OP plans to move.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Ever hear of the movie Not Without my Daughter?

I was thinking maybe Indian vs Pakistan mix. Some sort of cultural clash mix like that.

I would not be okay with that. If he just gave up, definitely not. But since im infatuated in that scenario, id keep him... I dont feel infatuated now though. If things arent good I will find a way out.

> he has never been mean to me

neither were my boyfriends until i moved in with them and were dependent on them. they didn't show me that side until they made it so it was difficult for me to leave.

> if it doesn't work out i will just move on

don't be surprised if he makes that difficult for you.

it's kind of sad how much of meme you're being right now. while trying to sound like you're mature enough to know better than people who are more experienced than you, you're doing all the exact things that someone who has no idea what they're talking about would do. you're going to be veeeeery surprised when you realize you're not smarter than everyone else.

to answer your other questions, i care very little about how much money someone makes and i wouldn't date anyone to "just have as a boyfriend and live with". i don't care if someone is successful, but i'm older than you, i've made the mistake you want to make right now before, and i've learned that not being successful is okay, but not having any ambition or passion is not. i also give zero shits about being partnered for the sake of it. you honestly sound really naive. you'll learn the hard way, i guess.

How old is he and where did you meet online

Is indian that bad? I mean if they're culturally western what's the big deal

OP watch this movie or read the book.

Indian is by far the ugliest race and also they smell like dirty unwiped asshole. They're also usually incredibly stupid.

Hmm.. Okay. Guess I have not known him long enough to know if he might regress since he has a history of self harm. I will try to prepare myself better for potential relationship failure if thats what you are getting at.

OP never answered this? And what race is OP?

Well his exes left because he was too nice if that means anything. And said theyd hurt me if i hurt him (jokingly). But yeah its not a guarantee things will go good for us. I might very well be a dead idiot a week from now. Im willing to risk it. Ive been sometimes wishing i was dead for a while anyway and am not a stranger when it comes to two-faced people/relationships or being hurt.

Well that's assuming they're good looking. And westernized implies they're hygienic

That may be true, but I'd definitely have Indians in my country over niggers and sandniggers.

>indian
>good looking
Lol

Keep guessing

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Tell them you found work outside of town and tell them you'll be staying with a friend.

True. Young people go to live with friend roomies all the time. My dad did it when younger too. I will go with this.

Hope you get chopped into pieces.

>culturally western
No

what do you mean no? is it impossible for people to assimilate?

You're a fucking adult. Just tell them you're moving and go.

:(

> Leaving because I want to. Bye.
Nice