Is it legitimate to divorce someone for being a failure in their career?

>t. waiting for a perfect virgin waifu

But why marry, it will just keep happening until you are all alone with 30 cats.

Imagine breaking up with someone because they don't make as much money as you want, it's like the legit gold digger stereotype. Something is wrong, like yeah you should divorce but have some introspection you have a disease of the soul.

Depends on how big of a career/failure and what the person's attitude is in regards to their own failure.

op didn't say anything about money, they said for being a failure in their career. some people don't want to be with losers with no ambition or drive. get over it.

That’s the problem.
He doesn’t seem to have drive. He doesn’t have a sense of a career that he has control of. He isn’t imagining new opportunities or creating any real plan for the future beyond keep working.

I am all about new opportunities, professional advancement, dreaming up ideal positions for the future. It’s just rough.

I feel guilty for being upset, but I’m also really frustrated that he doesn’t have that drive. He never knew what he wanted to be, spent some time in his youth doing dumb stuff, then picked a career and has been working hard but keeping his head down. If you asked him “what would be the ideal position to you?” He couldn’t answer.

On the other hand maybe since I am a careerist I should be glad he doesn’t have ambition and would be willing to do something like relocate for my own career advancement. We have 2 kids and I couldn’t get ahead in my own career without him holding it down.

I just get really frustrated with children that he doesn’t have more ambition. That he doesn’t want to become his own boss, for example. It’s a real bone of contention for us.

He’s just never had that drive. I guess I used to think it was restless youth and a bit of lack of self confidence. But then he told me even as a kid; he never had any dream of becoming anything at all...

Marriage is nothing more than a legal contract. If you think you can get a better deal from signing a contract somewhere else, why not?

The only problem with marriage is the common misconception that it it is a representation of love

that's tricky. on one hand i understand why you would be frustrated that your partner doesn't share the same drive as you, but on the other hand, maybe you should try to focus more on how his lack of career direction is complementary to you. is he generally passionless in life or does he just not care about work, specifically? like does he have hobbies that he seems invested in?

>I just get really frustrated with children that he doesn’t have more ambition.

Why? So he has less time to spend with you and the kids? So he gets a routine that's completely incompatible with yours and your relationship slowly drifts apart?

If you haven't figured out by now that two careerists rarely work due to your egos and routines then you should do him a favor and leave. Hell, calling him a "failure" because he doesn't have exactly the same drive as tells me you should do him a favor and leave. Does he know you consider him a failure?

If you're a woman it makes sense that you want to have a mate who is of similar or especially higher status than you. If you're a male these concerns are generally less common but like one user said, you can divorce someone for whatever reason.

Not everyone has an ego the size of saturn like you. Most people just work and do the same thing every day to support them and their families, then enjoy their lives when they'r off. He'll probably retire with more than you anyway, since women don't know how to invest.

Wealth doesn't always equate to high status positions and 'being your own boss'.

once again, op hasn't mentioned wealth or money once. just ambition to improve, or lack of it. stop being so fucking triggered. nobody wants to date someone raging from their mom's basement.

Hi I'm not an incel.
I think in your case its pretty normal. There's nothing wrong with wanting to work day to day and living simple, but you aren't like that.
If you had someone driven like you you could feed off of one another and push each other to greatest heights..
He seems like dead weight to you.
And you're attracted to what you're attracted to.

I actually had a friend like you, she was educated and ambitious and her boyfriend was fine washing dishes and skateboarding.
He was actually a solid dude, I liked him a lot. He was one of those undislikeable people. But it just itched at her he was happy with so little. She carried that for years trying to make it work and just be ok with it but it just didn't pan out.

>‘I, (name), take you, (name)
>to be my wife/husband,
>to have and to hold
>from this day forward;
>for better, for worse,
>for richer, for poorer,
>in sickness and in health,
>to love and to cherish,
>till death us do part,
>unless you are a failure in your career,
>according to God’s holy law.
>In the presence of God I make this vow.’

t. soiman

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Jordan Peterson has taken advantage of one too many virgins on this board.
Go outside, and you'll see plenty of low status men with high status women. One of my friends is an unemployed pothead, and he is dating a girl who is studying architecture at my country's top university so that she can takr over her parents' architecture firm

blah blah blah.

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If you have children divorce will do more harm to them than you imagine. If it were just you and him I'd say go ahead and divorce him but no matter what scenario you imagine in your mind you're harming your children irreparably by divorcing him at this point.
Don't pretend you're entertaining the option for their sake. If you go through with a divorce now it's pure selfishness.

It's legitimate to divorce someone for any reason and no clear reason at all; whether it's a smart thing to do is another question.

It's something you knew before you married, expecting the other person to change massively is stupid. You can try convert him to a stay in home dad and focus on your career if that matters to you so much.

>Most people just work and do the same thing every day to support them and their families
An other people want more. These people aren't "wrong" for living the life as they do nor is OP "wrong" for wanting to achieve more for her capitalist overlords.

Restoring a motorcycle is more grindy than actually ambitious. It's a clear and simple task that needs time. And the result isn't too amazing either. If it has to be some pursuit like that, pick a guy who wants to build his own home.

For tons of people who desire ambitious partners, trying something big does suffice. Some faggot who works on starting an own business, fucks up and tries again and again, or some artist trying to make their break is a lot more attractive than someone who stagnates and doesn't try to improve their position.

i'm a femanon whose been with the same partner for the past three years. kek.

Raising children in a toxic unloving relationship is worse. They're watching you.
You can either teach them to stay in an unhappy unfulfilling relationship or that shit happens and it's ok to take care of yourself if you need to.

Get raped.

Based and maturity-pilled.

If he can still provide for a family, you should leave him anyway, so he can raise a happy one while you go out on that bright career path.
You know, since status is so important to you. Surely YOU would be willing and able to succeed where he failed. No need to be shy. Greatness awaits! Smash that glass ceiling so you can know Hillary's level of interpersonal satisfaction!

Nah. Restoring an old motorcycle is an achievement that takes hard work and determination. That's the very definition of ambition.

This but because you'll probably reignite his career by leaving. Staying with him just encourages him to continue failing.

How is he even a failure though.

>is an achievement that takes hard work and determination
In the same way being a masturbation champion or running a marathon would. It's a trivial task that requires time and effort; most things that are called ambitious are competitive and tend to be more cerebral pursuits that require muh hard work and determination and rare skills and constant self-actualisation and so on. They usually do benefit others too, whether it's curing some disease or being the boss of a company.

Divorce is a sin.

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No one said being married is easy. Have you talked to your spouse about the issues you are having? Communication is vital. How long did you know your spouse before marrying them? Did you talk about what each of you expected of your union and what individual goals you wanted to obtain. No one can be a superhero, especially when you have kids. It sounds like your spouse has helped you maintain a career you're proud of. Encourage don't nag, actually have an open conversation with your spouse. A marriage is a partnership, I bet your spouse feels shitty enough if you're going around telling anyone who will listen what a failure they are.

have you maybe tried
TELLING HIM THAT AND HOW IT MAKES YOU FEEL?

OP's husband deserves to get divorced for falling for the career woman meme.

Bonus points if he is actually a male gold digger who knew in advance about the career woman's divorce-heavy nature, lives in a country where assets after marriage are divided 50/50, and stopped trying to make the marriage work so that he could cash in.

Don't date career girls, unless you really like free money

only if have tried supporting them and they just refuse to get their shit together, then they are simply too mentally ill to survive in the world, if you are able to support them however, you should.

Not that user but how long is too long

Not who you're replying to but the answer is dependent on the person and situation.
It's literally "as long as you can tolerate". If your partner is lowering your quality of life and they are making no indication they're going to work or change or improve it's time to go.

try an entire fucking decade
serious answer: it's your relationship it's up to you. if you're putting deadlines on these things without having given any of it considerable thought prior to today, there's a chance the relationship is pretty one-sided already

>If your partner is lowering your quality of life
this is pretty vague though. you could say this about someone with low social value or something stupid, or it can mean they are keeping you from getting your own shit together and you have to make major sacrifices for them, I am of the opinion that the latter is far more important but we all have different priorities.

Interesting that the word "legitimate and legal" come from the same root word. You sign a legal contract when you get married saying that you intend to put up with this kind of shit. There are very few "legit" reasons to get a divorce. You shouldn't have got married in the first place. You and a lot of the fuckers itt (especially men) need to discard your modern philosophy or it will cost nothing but shitloads of money. If you were a successful gold digger, you could have came out on top but you weren't. Marriage should be respected or discarded. This halfass attitude takes money from everyone involved. You only get half his shit after the lawyers leave him with 1/4 of it.

I'm not going to try to convince you OP because it's clear you've already decided how you feel about this spouse. I feel bad for the other guy/girl unless your spouse is a whiny douche and doesn't do anything else to pick him/her self up.

this is why I am totally ready for Islam to come westwards. fucking roasties need to be stoned,

oh wow, who else is surprised that womyn are full of shit?

You should go to hell

>its another roastie pushing some chump up the corporate ladder episode

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Like the song says rulers make bad lovers. If he had ambition he wouldn't be there for you becuase it would be all about the goal.

I think you are underestimating the complexity of a combustion engine. Shits hard, you can get phd's in automotive engineering becuase its that complicated.

It's a crap shoot. You say you. want him to be more ambitious but do you really? Do you want to spend less time with him? Do you want to take him away from your kids? Have you considered how insufferable he might be with added work stress? What about bad or no sex because of always being at work or not getting enough sleep? How about no more vacations because your off time never lines up? What if he becomes more successful than you and replaces you with another woman or cheats?

You have a grass is greener mentality right now. You are only thinking of how this would make him better. You are not considering negative changes.

I recommend you make a list of all the things you did or do love about him and think about how being ambitious could impact those things. Be real about it and dont rationalize it.

You might also want to consider couples therapy.

T. Neetcel

Goddamn that is cringey. You'd drop a bitch for gaining weight at the drop of a hat. Literally no difference here. You didn't marry a 300 lbs. Walrus and we didn't marry a loser with no ambition. Cope harder.

>Walrus and we didn't marry a loser with no ambition.
OP did. I think that much is clear from her posts

You need a man, not a robot. Maybe he’s just not scared of being a nobody like you fear.

"For richer or for poorer"
"In sickness and in health"
"TIL DEATH DO YOU PART"

Remember those words you said to the person you want to divorce? Yeah. You swore those words. Out loud. Now you gotta stick to it.

I guess you should have made the goal aggressive thing a deal breaker from the get go.

You're disgusting!
Break up with him. Your kids will be sad forever, but at least, he will not be married to a bitch like you.

All that goes out the window when someone cheats/abuses their partner.
But for her to jump ship over not having wild dreams and talent is more her fault than his. Some people don’t care about living like a walking life support for their genitalia.

No, but you don't actually need a reason to leave somebody if they aren't the person you thought they were.

Marriage isn't a death sentence, and people change.

You should probably look for the reason why their "failure" makes you want to leave them, though, because if not making enough money is all you have, then you weren't looking for a spouse in the first place - you were looking for a safety blanket.

You’re unhappy so get a divorce, better than living in a toxic relationship. Two of my exes dumped me for lack of ambition, and I’m so happy for it. I followed my own path and now i live comfortably on passive income with a gf who is the best.

Jesus Christ are you his wife or his boss? Unironically kill your self you brainwashed salary slave.

My ex tried to 'help' me succeed and gave me encouraging pep talks. She was a very successful workaholic that drove my anxiety through the roof and made me feel not enough.
I've been bawling for months now and this thread is one of the few times I felt slightly better. Thanks guys and fuck you op