ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

not abnormal, just uncommon. obv you enjoy a different dynamic. i know some guys that like this, or a mix. but most guys want you to make them feel like they're in charge and want their egos stroked, in my experience.

Even if he seems like the type of guy to avoid that conversation? Hes a classic avoidant attachment type.

Feel like I might push him away.

Also whens the right time for this kind of conversation? After sex?

Movie no it shouldn't be a movie movie is too serious. I can't do coffee because it would be late. Fuck ok. I could ask her for coffee later instead. Restaurant. No. Something friends would do something I need someone with me for. Comedy. No. Fuck. "Just talk
No" "about?"
Fuck.
I'm not dressed well. I'll ask if she drinks coffee or something I just need to go now.
OKAY ILL JUST GO AND TALK SSDFDASDF

I'm not sure, I've been dealing with the same thing for around 15 years. I'm still afraid of embarrassing myself, which I do on a regular basis because I'm awful with people, but I have gotten better which makes me less nervous.

There's a really good website that has helped me a lot called Succeed Socially. It directly addresses a lot of specific topics about just being social for dummies like us. I really recommend it. I also like watching a YouTube channel called Charisma on Command, which offers similar advice.

Dude, if you sperg out like this anywhere near her, you're not even going to get to the door of the coffee shop.

I was drinking with my boyfriend and he started getting really sexual. I said I had had too much to drink I was just tired and meh. He pushed it for a few hours as we kept drinking. He said he often wanted to get off on me in the morning I said it was ok as long as he didn't enter me or anything because that could hurt.

I said not tonight and made a pouty face whenever he did anything sexual. He kept pushing it and put on romantic music.I went down to go to bed or relax and he was obviously intense but I thought he was just going to do what we talked about earlier, get off without going inside me. I had blankets over my head. I was completely still the entire time and he entered me. After a while, I did not move at all, he tried to pull the blankets over my head but I held them still.

He said "are you ok? do you want me to stop?". I didn't respond. I just held the blankets still. He said "ok sweetie" in a gentle voice and exited. That lasted a few minutes before he got heavy again and entered me again. The only time I responded was when it hurt and I was tearing up but he had no way of knowing. I felt zero desire to have sex. He could tell that what hurt was making me move so he was like "i love it when you respond" and kept doing things that hurt my cervix until he finished.

Anyway what I'm asking is does this sound normal. I know I'm retarded for not communicating but is it normal to get that aroused where you don't even pay attention to if the other person's feeling it?

I'll probably get an obvious answer, but here's the thing, I've had a relationship w/ boyfriend for almost 5 years now, last year's december he said he needed some time alone and wanted to break up, I agreed and proceeded to delete everything, then the next morning he comes all mortified by this and says he wants to just put our relationship on hold. I agreed until now, he hasn't deleted anything from his social media, still hangs out w/ me almost every weekend, and behave like a couple, and has even said many times the "I love you's", yet when I ask: So, you done? - He says he can't be my boyfriend (??) Here's a little thing, when I met him he was very shy (kinda shut in), during this time his confidence greatly improved and he hit the gym.... If he wants to explore his life with his new confidence and find someone else who shares his thoughts I don't mind, I just whish he was more honest about it.

That works for everything, if you think about it. It's interesting how humans can adapt to any situation, even really bad ones.

The fuck

He just raped you, moron.

Girls like riding face, right?

I didn't say no tho except for earlier in the night. I said I wasn't interested and I was too drunk but I didn't say no after he initiated I just didn't move or respond. But he was similarly drunk.

You obviously need to speak the fuck up instead of communicating through pouty faces if you don't want someone to rape you. He sounds like a piece of shit.

in theory, yes. i don't like oral, tho. but i realize i'm an anomaly.

>femanon gets fucking raped and doesnt relaise it

i mean... if you feel hes avoidant attachment type, than maybe its risky yeah
but if it comes to the point that you care enough about staying with him, you're going to need to bring it up sooner or later, right?

i'm not really sure when's the best time. I think it depends on the guy.
my gf brought it up with me after sex, asked me to confirm if we were boyfriend and girlfriend after dating 3 months, spending a LOT of time together, having lots of sex and doing lots of stuff
I laughed and said "of course, what else would we be?" and then confirmed that that meant exclusivity to her

but i dont think im anything like your mans
after sex sounds like a safe bet though, if he's the kind of guy that likes to talk after sex

Well I mean I did say no not tonight it was just after that didn't work I was trying to make light of it.

should i text my ex guys????? i want to text her........ i just want to say "hey how are you? can we catch up?"

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you made it clear that he did not have your consent. it's rape, user

can confirm, that's rape
big yikes

just say "hey, how are you?" or some variant. just be normal. don't overthink it.

Don't user. You'll regret it later.

>I said it was ok as long as he didn't enter me
>and entered me again
This has to be fake

He didn't know he was hurting my cervix btw I was just completely silent, I think he though my flinching from the pain was me being turned on, but I'm thinking like is it normal to get so horny you don't even pay attention to all the other signs that they just aren't participating at all and aren't moving and said they were too drunk.

text "you ruined my life and brought great shame upon me you stupid bitch"

I don't have a big cock, should I kill myself? Thanks.

is it normal? no. is it common in a society that doesn't teach boys/men to engage with their parents and focus only on their own pleasure? yes.

no
it's not about the size it's about how you use it
and i'm gonna guess you also have fingers and a tongue
you'll be fine
the-eye.eu/public/WorldTracker.org/Health/Sex/SheComesFirst.pdf

He doesn't care about you at all. You're a toy to him. Definitely dump him. Maybe call the police.

Yeah definitely not like most guys. Doesnt text anyone at all. Doesnt have social media. Likes to be alone most of the time. Only has a few close friends.

I realize Im dealing with a difficult situation, and a guy who you wouldnt deal with "typically". Maybe just having an unspoken understanding is the way to deal with these types but I dont know.

what's not big mean to you?

I sometimes think he doesn't care about my feelings but then I feel guilty for feeling like that. We've been together for years.

I have a 5" cock and many girls complimented.

goodreads.com/book/show/1047513.Helping_Her_Get_Free

goodreads.com/book/show/1239539.Family_and_Friends_Guide_to_Domestic_Violence

don't die motherfucker

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>Doesnt have social media.
>Likes to be alone most of the time.
>Only has a few close friends.
These things are normal for most non-frat guys

Wtf definitely not.

How old are you?

I don't think so. And even so he takes it to an extreme level. Literally has maybe 2 friends he sees very rarely. Only texts me to meet up, doesnt do small talk texting. Very much a hermit/introvert to levels that are not typical/normal.

is girls playing hard to get a real thing?

im the dude that was telling you about my experience with discussing this with my gf
i'm like that too
what's different with me is i'm also a social worker so.... it's my work to be social in a sense. i enjoy all the alone time i can get, other than being with my gf. i have one close friend otherwise.

Yes, some crazy girls will play headgames. It's not as common as people make it out to be. A lot of people conflate playing hard to get with literally just not being into you. But there ARE some girls that will play headgames. Don't waste your time with them.
Either way, if it seems like they're not into you, move on lmao.

why do you think it's fake?

Yeah I think it's different with him. Besides I'm sure you want to see your girlfriend more than once a week. This guy is like once a week, once every 2. Makes me think he doesnt even like me at all and Im just a hole for him.

yeah i like to see her a lot more often than that... i dunno. this guy seems interesting. maybe he just really prefers being alone, but not 100%.

I don't have a social media either user

Why did feelings return almost instantly for this girl?

Basically I was into her last summer at work, ended up asking her out right before she left for College. She returned for this summer, and instantly I was into her again. (Figure some 9 months passed)

(FWIW she has made some quips when I'd do somestuff in a joking manner)

I recently started to pee whenever i sneeze, what do. femanon 19 virgin.

because you like her

start doing kegels

As the guy who wrote that, who came from a background of socially anxiety and transformed himself in to a fairly social and personable individual, yup.

I literally went from terrified to answer doors, order food, or talk to grocers, to dropping myself in random restaurant bars after work to casually make friends with randoms.

That being said, it probably doesn’t work for everyone in the same way. It worked for me because I hated the way I was, so I actively forced myself to do small things and build up my confidence step by step.

I actually never wanted to do them, but often did them anyway specifically because i *knew* I was sacred and uncomfortable with them, and that the fastest way to conquer those kinds of fears is by demystifying them and getting used to them. That was my way to get better.

Honestly, dealing with anxiety, diffidence, and depression most of my life, I can tell you that a lot of times, way more scary is the idea of doing something rather than actually doing it. Relatedly, the retrospective “analysis” (aka overthinking) of an foible or stumble, is often just an echo chamber of negativity, that eventually warps in to something that has very little to do with what actually happened in the moment. This is exacerbated by the fact that no two human interactions being the same, which means that what you learn from one encounter, may have nothing to do with the next. It teaches you something that is very rigid and hyper specific to one encounter, when you need to be able to be fluid and adaptable to each and every different situation.

The only way you really learn to do things in the moment, is often to just experience that moment multiple times until you just get used to it and treat it as matter of course.

Thats what Im saying, he does prefer being alone 100% hes told me that. Should I not take it personally then?

I have some problem with my vagina muscles and feel horrible pain whenever the muscles contract, is there another way?
Adding on that my mom had this but only after the second child

>Should I not take it personally then?
Yeah, I guess so. If you like him and like seeing him once a week or two weeks, and that's just how he is that's fine then right?

Is it true that men and women cannot be best friends without one of them developing romantic feelings for the other?

I don't get why you are even asking this, Yes, a person can be so horny that they don't pay much attention to anteing else, if alcohol is involved they might even not care at all.

Your boyfriend should have obviously backed away, but you have mostly yourself to blame here.

Have you ever seen a doctor about this?

what would you have done?

Not true unless one or both of them is emotionally starved or is already attracted to the looks of the other (the instant kind of attraction)

Yeah, he just said i have vaginismus or smt and that theres nothing i can do.

It’s something that happens, but it’s probably about as common or truthful as any other derogatory stereotype or satirization.

Those thing started off as the punchline to a joke, not as encyclopedic knowledge or fact.

I had vaginismus and I just had to actively relax my muscles. Use lube if you ever do anything sexual. I'd say I'm 90% cured. Look around the internet for things you can do, maybe something will help. Give it time tho it took me years, hopefully yours will resolve sooner.

You mean if I was in your place?

Tell him repeatedly no (all the time, I wouldn't just stop at one or a couple of no's and pouty faces hours earlier when he's not relenting), push him away, get away from him (go to a different room) and tell him I won't have sex with him at the moment and he can be with me when he cools off, tell him to wank this one out, anything that would come to my mind at the moment really. I would be explicit and firm.

OR bite the bullet and just have sex with him, but you know actual sex where I work for my own pleasure as well and not stand there not moving and doing anything while I get hurt.

Or just him him a bj or something,

Yea I am firm a lot of the time but then he gets mad at me. But I can't fake being into it when I'm not into it and i'm scared to initiate because he won't back off ever if I do. He usually pushes the bjs farther than I want to go like deepthroat and whatnot and I'm not about the labor idk maybe I'm just too lazy,

>victim blaming
>saying she should have just accepted the rape
>saying its her fault for not feeling like having sex
leave

Why would you need to push yourself out of your comfort zone?

don't listen to please go see a urologist. i wet the bed when i was a kid and my physician said it was because i had an "underdeveloped" bladder, so they made me do kegels. fast foward to my early 20s and i had all kinds of uro/reproductive issues. a urologist scoped my bladder and literally said it looked like the bladder of a old man (i'm a woman) with an enlarged prostate because of how muscular it was. turns out kegels were the EXACT opposite of what i should have been doing and not only made my bladder issues worse, but caused me to fuck up my pelvic floor muscles which made sex painful and gave me painful muscle spasms. i ended up having to get pelvic floor therapy to release everything. so if you don't want to potentially make it worse and have some stranger literally massage the inside of your vagina, see a urologist and don't listen to people on Jow Forums.

Yeah, but still Id like to know how he actually feels about me but hes so hard to read. Its like sometimes I think were a couple, and sometimes I feel like were still strangerrs even though its been so long.

ask

only one way to find out

listen to this one, OP with bladder problems. i was talking out of my ass. come to think of it my issues got better with relaxation. see a urologist.

Not that femanon but i have basically the same but it only happens when smth is inside. Its like a cramping, burning feeling that doesnt stop and only gets worse. I use lube already and its still the same.
Thing is, yesterday my bf was fingering me (thats the only thing we did so far bc of the pain). The first time he put his finger in i didnt feel pain at all and he could even move, but the second/third time burnt as usual. Im all the time consciously forcing myself to relax the muscles and it still hurts
Im too poor to afford having that looked at currently.
What do?

I'm not a professional but what worked for me was trying to be aware of when I was cletching my muscles and releasing them as often as I could. I had to learn how to relax them. When something goes inside we used A LOT of lube for a while. A ridiculous amount, both applied to my entire entrance and a little bit inside, and all over whatever was going inside. Eventually after a lot of relaxation work and lube it stopped hurting so much. Only slightly hurts.

Though you could have a yeast or bacterial infection so see a doctor at first opportunity. Maybe planned parenthood can help if you're in the US?

>Why would you need to push yourself out of your comfort zone?

The thought, “ What else am I going to do? Stay miserable? That’s clearly not working. Fuck it, let’s go.”

Is it normal to not have a facebook?

Well, naturally. But the feelings mostly subsided. But came back full force when she returned..

If you're social, probably. I really only have mine for work related reasons. I feel like most younger people are leaving FaceBook in favor of twitter or instagram.

honestly these days it seems like it, yeah
the only people i still see on facebook are either
1. completely self-absorbed millennials that need constant online validation for being who they are
2. old geezers

you have a healthy way of dealing with loss of opportunity then
you healthily put it aside because it was no longer a possibility, and now that's shes back, it's a possibility again so you are interested again
that's how i would react at least

Why do people who do EMT type classes seem to go in 100% within 2 days?

One person, on their third day of class, was already showing up to class wearing BDU's with shears and penlights. We aint even any where near that point in the course. Hell, shears aint even needed

>yeast and bacteria
I did have yeast but thats seldom occurring, i dont know about bv but i track my cycle and discharge and it all looks pretty healthy, other than during penetration i dont feel any pain whatsoever.

>lube
I also apply it literally everywhere and bf says that im pretty wet naturally also, but we still use lube regardless. Its also weird because the burning feeling is still there when we use lube, only that its the cramping/burning feeling but also feeling very wet

saviour complex

Maybe. But I did ask her out then, and was "rejected" (Said she wasn't sure if she'd have time. Granted it was a few days before she left for uni)

I left it because the only people who talked to me on it ghosted me, so I had no reason to use it anymore.

Ideal wait time for sex?
I'm an older (22 soon) female virgin and though I'm excited to someday touch a man's genitalia if I like him and have a high-ish libido, I don't want to be a slut or risk getting pump and dumped.
I'm thinking 6 months (given we're not friends beforehand), but would a year be better? I'd hope for a fellow virgin partner also, but I know they're rare since most people are very promiscuous.

ah. you werent rejected because she wasnt into you, just because she wasnt sure she'd have time. youd think she'd have time now, no?

Women, what makes sex feel good to you?

at what point do we classify an action as an inclination or as a complex?
is it insistence? consistency? pure subjective speculation?
we may never know.

what the fuck do girls like

Guys, how would you ask out a girl through text ? How would you formulate it ? For context, we only had some small talk but lots of staring and smiling at each other during class. Haven't seen or talked to her since college ended 3 weeks ago.

In what context? Interests? Partners? Food?