I'm a femanon and I just want to feel love again

I'm a femanon and I just want to feel love again.

Why am I so broken? I have PTSD and anaclitic depression and I always joke about everything, I just wanna open up because I feel like someone genuinely sees in me what they thought they could never find. I just wanna be held, I just want someone to cry with me.

I just wanna be happy with someone, I'm not the best but I'll be the best for you. It's so hard to breathe. I feel like I'm gonna die. I do my best everyday but even living a regular life is hard.

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I don't know, why'd you fuck someone else and ruin your last bf emotionally femanon?

Time for you to accept Christ as your savior.

Maybe stop being a melodramatic bitch, you're not actually going to die of a broken heart you fool. Life's hard and loneliness is a constant struggle we all have to go through but typing this out isn't helping you find a bf any faster you fucking idiot. You need to actually go out and meet someone and build a connection with them. If I met you in real life I'd punch you in the throat for being so annoying

sure you would, tough guy. man, youre so cool, threatening people over the internet. kys

Date yourself a fat guy who loves his mom.

Yeah. I have and I would, and I have the right. Just saying she's not broken and all of this other stupid fuckin horseshit, she's just a young dumb girl having a mood swing and overreacting to a common overarching condition we all share and it disgusts me.

>I just wanna open up
>I'm not the best but I'll be the best for you
Do it then, don't let words be just that

You just have to focus on learning to like yourself more. Once you have that, people will like you naturally.
Approaching people from a position of needing to make up to them doesn't make anyone feel good.
You just need more time, and I know you won't believe it.
What you've got to offer is fine, as people generally are.
People generally aren't going to feel value for someone that doesn't for themselves. It will always be a weird compromise, from both ends.

Where did you even gather that from? Do you know OP or something

Ever since the beginning, ever since DECEMBER you PLAYED ME LIKE A TOY.

and when I'd call you out on it, you'd cry and beg for forgiveness, and I'd get softer and softer and you'd get MEANER AND MEANER. You knew my issues, my CPTSD and yet you knew it was my biggest mistake too.

Because when a smartass like me would know what abuse looks like, she'd get blinded by the man she loved the most to get tortured in a whole new way!

And when I'd say sex started to make me uncomfortable, you told me "Uhm, young people like us should have lots of sex, not doing so isn't normal" and you'd pout, you'd get upset, you'd treat me like SHIT to the point of me breaking down and then you'd put the blame on me, framing yourself as the victim.

At first you'd get mad when I'd try and talk to you, but then as I'd step down, you'd cry and beg and beg and beg
until you did it, you used the mental torment you made me go through to sexually abuse me, and when I left you for it, at first you tried to rationalise, then you cried, then you got ANGRY. And finally, like you always did, told yourself "none of this was my fault"

I dared speak out and you flamed me, I had to hide. I lost my friends, and I had nobody. You made me dependant to your toxicity to the point where I even came back and then, you took that around to use me and throw me away again and again and again over and over and over. I tried taking my independence finally and you'd come back telling me "this guy's bad why are you hanging with him"

When I realized you made servers about me to talk TRASH about my family, the only few friends I had left, you cried again begging for forgiveness "I'm sorry I didn't know what I was doing"
And when I'd make you promise to never talk to these people again because they would WISH ME DEATH. Afterwards, after you'd throw me and take me back, you'd use that against me. "Oh she made me lose ties with my friends!" And I can't fucking speak out because I'M NO ONE.

damn, sounds fun

Initials, yours and his?

Are you doing therapy?
I think you should be doing therapy.
If you wanna talk about everything without much consequences though, you can do it here. Hopefully it makes you feel better.

> I do my best everyday but even living a regular life is hard.

uh. yeah.

i don't want you to be miserable, OP, but you need to realise this is true for everyone. Life is fucking hard, fullstop. And not just for you. It takes work, effort, and a certain level of seriousness if you're going to get anywhere with it, and everyone has to do it.


>Why am I so broken? I have PTSD

how would we know? is the ptsd tied to what broke you?

are women more susceptible to PTSD because they’re mentally weak or do they just lie about it ?

If you take Jow Forums as reference, men are the ones that are completely broken with ptsd, depression and most other shit

That's not how it works. You're not ready for relationshits nor need them until you start loving yourself; otherwise it ends in a co-dependant mess and more misery in the long run.

Woah.

Tell that to soldiers who got PTSD without being anywhere near live combat. Or rather don't and read up about it before spewing ignorant cancer.

are you a virgin? Find a guy you know well and fuck him.

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OP, do you have a discord?

Even as an user ai understand completely. Thing is you use humor as a defense mechanism, and you have this romanticize idea of how you want to fall in love.
I saw a show that opened my heart up like a teenager again only to rip out, stomp on and spit on it.
Thing is we look at those fantasy stories we see on tv or movie or books or in games and start to think we can make like like that. We cant. We have a bad habit of always holding out for the next best thing and especially when we dont deserve it. Let go of it, let go of this idea of how love should be and be open to love when it does come your way. Being a female it will because you are capable to be more open to these ideas than men are.