I wasted my life being a shut in for years, missed all the milestones and now feel too far behind. Is it too late?
I would kill myself but it's not actually an easy thing to do, even if your life is fucked beyond repair.
I wasted my life being a shut in for years, missed all the milestones and now feel too far behind. Is it too late?
I would kill myself but it's not actually an easy thing to do, even if your life is fucked beyond repair.
You'll have to give more info about yourself if you want a real answer. How old are you now? What did you miss out on that you think you can't get now?
Start NOW and stop hesitating.
Put a investment on yourself. Try news things instead of mopping around
It is never too late. The war is over only when you gave up or died.
Depending on how fucked up your life is it may even be better for you, because the steps to moving on are easier the less you have going on. You need to hit rock bottom in order to really start from square one. Find out what you need to do to get going. Apply for GED? Gather documents for drivers license and find out where your DMV is? Talk to your parents about you being a fuck up but wanting to do better?
Its painful but worth it.
Almost 22
Which is young, yeah, but I don't have the years worth of actions that others made before they turned 22 which they can use to build upon. I'm starting at 0, actually I'm starting at -1000.
And because I wasted my entire teens being a shut in I cannot exactly relate to people who had a normal teenage life so making friends is probably impossible. I probably have autism and who knows what else, I don't have the drive to be social or do anything really which is what got me into this mess in the first place.
Did you complete high school or have a GED? If you didn't complete high school is a GED something you're willing to work towards? Any skills (and I mean ANYTHING)? What would you like to do with your life? Do you have any family in your corner that's willing to help you out at times?
>I probably have autism
If you're serious you need to have that evaluated. Doing that has transformed my life for the better.
>Did you complete high school or have a GED
I was a shut in for pretty much my entire teens so I'm afraid not. Also I'm a ukfag
As for what I want to do with my life, fuck knows, do people know this? how? That always confused me how people have "dreams" and shit, where does that come from? Is it something people randomly pick or is it some kind of sense where they just know that's what they were born to do?
>any skills
Not that I can think of.
I kept on failing uni and other things until 23yo. I had no friends. Still have none. I knew I had to change, otherwise I may as well have killed myself.
>looked at what jobs had high turnover but needed training that was ez for me to get
>got neetbux and did training
>got job
>crash course in social skills
>now have money and desire to get more education because shit job is shit
>currently studying too
>also started lifting
I am like you OP. But I made changes. They weren't easy. As they happen, it seems excruciatingly slow, helpless, useless. Being alone made these steps forward horrible. I still feel incredibly depressed and without hope. But for these last 4 years I've made undeniable progress. The worst thing that could have happened was that I never made those changes. And if I didn't I would be dead by now.
Almost 22 is not too late. Yes it's a game of catchup. But start now.
Well, I'm just guessing because I know something is wrong with me, I'm clearly not normal and the meme disorder these days is autism so that's probably it.
I know so many 40 year olds with nothing.. No relationship, no career bring service job, no home ownership.
A lot of the people you think are ahead of you are just spinning their wheels doing hedonistic nonsense. It's no better than being NEET and playing videogames if you are 40 and have nothing to show for it but liver damage and trust issues
So, no, it's not too late and personally I don't think you missed out on much at all. On top of that, most milestones are meaningless. There are people with careers, kids, wife, house that are absolutely miserable and will die that way. True joy and success is about living relationships with your family members, friends, and community. Start there and see what else you feel like doing. Material success will only temporarily feel good
What careers BTW?
I played mmo's until 18. Joined the Marines (infantry) and literally spent all non work hours playing DotA 2. Went to college for 4 years with VA benefits. Didn't get a degree because I jumped around so much. You are not too old. I'm just now turning my life around at 27. You have many years left.
Continuing.
You have to realize you are going to have to work much harder than everyone else because you are starting a bit later but the average person you think is ahead of you wastes A TON of time. If you want it you can pass them pretty easily in a few years if you remove all distractions from your life. You just have to want it more than being a shut in.
Man I hope you're right
If anything living like this just showed me how short life really is, when I was a teen I thought I had so much time but it went by so fast it's scary. There were many moments that could have saved me, I was going to go to college at 16 but then I put it off till the next year because I didn't know what I wanted to do, then when I was 17 I let it pass me by, then when I was 18/19 I signed up for an entry level course for rejects like me. I was going to continue college but I didn't get in and since then I've just been doing nothing
I always have this frustrating feeling of
>if I could just go back to when I was 14 or 16 everything would be different
It's that gut dropping feeling of just missing something
Trust me I know what you mean. I did really well in school in elementary/middle school but didnt give a shit in highschool because of the mmo's. Graduated with a 1.7 GPA. I did great freshman year but had some emotional issues soph year and got bad grades. After that I was like "fuck it, it is too late to be in the top percent so I gave up."
Military was really tough. I joined at 5'7" 120lbs of pure nerd skeleton. Constantly fell out of hikes etc. Eventually I put on 20 lbs of muscle and could out PT everyone else. My mental toughness for pain was insane because I had to push myself so much harder than everyone else. Still had the video game addiction though. I got married shortly after getting out and my wife's whole family (aunt's, uncle's, grandparents, parents, etc) are all teachers/professors. I realized I actually really lived learning for the sake of learning after spending time with them. History became very interesting. I didn't have any life experiences outside of the military because I too was a shut in. That is why I jumped around I college. Tried programming, firefighting, maths, electrician apprentice, a couple other ideas and used the rest of my school in to learn all I could about programming. Now that is what I do but I feel SO far behind everyone else my age because it feels like they started so much earlier.
But I did notice something. They don't have the mental toughness I have, the efficiency, the past conquered bad habits. Given enough years I will surpass them
Continuing.
as I am objectively as smart or smarter than those I work with. They waste their hours watching shows and playing games. I spend mine learning. You have to want it.
Basically my solution is to picture what I would want to be if everyone else didn't exist. What would make me feel accomplished. Here is an excercise:
Picture yourself on your deathbed. Really picture it. You know regardless of what you accomplish you will eventually be forgotten. What makes you feel like you accomplishmwnt in that moment? What would make you feel like you are ok in passing? That you did a good job. For me the only thing I can think of it that I want to teach others my developed wisdom before I pass on. I want to know my child was set up to the best of my ability by the time they turn 18. That may help you figure out your priorities.
Also know that the world is about to change faster and faster. Exponentially increasing year by year. Learning fast will be the most desired quality. Everyone used to living the average successful life will fall behind.
Hope this helps at least a little.
You can do what all the other anons are saying, probably better advice than mine, but why not just enjoy the life you have? I work a 8-4 job right now and while I don't hate it, I find myself wishing I had more time to do what I want. I get home tired because my job involves a lot of physical labor and so even if I have time to do something I run out of energy. I'm still pretty young and so maybe it won't be so bad when I can get a proper office job where I don't have to break my back to do work, but I'm a little afraid of getting to that point and realizing just how little time I have for myself. Enjoy what you have now, you might miss it.
Because I feel like I'm not "supposed" to
I'm shackled by societal expectations, that's really the main reason I feel so bad all the time.
I feel like I missed out in life a lot from time to time but I have 2 options:
1)miss out more
2)do something that I always wanted
The choice is obvious in my opinion
lol. FUCK society. Enjoy your life, it's yours! No one else's. Sounds like you just need to work on your mindset and become more comfortable with yourself, then decide what you want to do from there. I have a job so I can pay for college so that I can pay for cars, cause I wanna be a rally driver. If I didn't I would figure out how I can sit on my ass playing video games or practicing martial arts or whatever all day. Whatever you choose to do, enjoy it.