Pregnant GF

>Abortion is, by the OVERWHELMING majority of women who have had one, considered to have improved their life.

Complete bullshit, and for the short term only. Nothing changes other than they don't have a baby cooking anymore and can resume living an irresponsible lifestyle if they ever stopped to begin with, only now they may have fertility issues when they decide to grow up. Unless they remain complete whores their whole lives, they nearly always regret getting the abortion- especially if they end up having other children. Abortion affects a part of women deeper than they realize and it hits them harder and harder as they age.

Just for clarity, at which stage is abortion murder?

2 months, 1 week, 3 days, 20 min... Just curious

It's murder only after 2 years

Abortion isn't the only option. A little more context:

I have a pretty stable job - made 60k last year, do well financially. We bought our first house last year and we're looking to buy a house in a better neighborhood this year. She on the other hand is not established in her career yet. This is what most concerns her. If she's having trouble starting her career, imagine how much harder it would be with a baby in the picture.

I personally can make it work either way. Am I ready to be a dad? Probably not. Another 2 years would definitely help. But seeing as this is a manageable obstacle, I sure as hell don't mind tackling the challenge. I just want my girlfriend to feel comfortable. If this will make her life harder (subsequently making mine as well) than I understand why abortion would be an option for her. This year will be the 8th year we've been together.

Also - for those saying we are irresponsible, she takes birth control. It isn't always effective.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

To me it seems you two have the bond the to endure a child. Honestly, no one is ever "ready" for a job you learn on the fly. I really hope you don't abort the baby. And if you do decide to raise it, I really hope you the best of luck.

Only once the egg has been fertilized

My gf got pregnant and we were in a similar situation. Even though it's against my values, we did briefly consider it. Now that my kids are older and we are successful, we realize it would've been a life altering mistake. Choose wisely, OP

had one when both my boyfriend and i were 20. we were halfway through college and couldn’t emotionally or financially support a baby at that time

took the abortion pill because i was around 6 weeks

it was pretty mentally taxing on both of us for a few weeks, but eventually we healed from it because we knew it was what was best for our family

we’re so excited to have a baby when we both feel ready. just do what you feel is right for your family OP

If you can afford the costs of the child and live with the other person as a family go for it, really could be throughly overwhelming. But if you can't then consider an abortion and don't bring morality into all this, just try to think through this and give yourself the best reason why you want to do so

Not everybody feels regret, and the half of people who do tend to force it down people's throats.

You know what you'll regret no matter what? Ruining your career and finances for the rest of your life.

Had an abortion years ago. Absolutely 0 regrets, and I'm quite tired of being told that I should regret. Life's been nothing but great since because I can actually have one.

I'm not the guy to which you answered, and while I see valid arguments in your answer, I will add that user literally said

"She on the other hand is not established in her career yet. This is what most concerns her. If she's having trouble starting her career, imagine how much harder it would be with a baby in the picture. "

So, (according to what user said) she does not have the time or the mindset to be a mother.

A child needs parent/s who can provide for h**, in every conceivable way. If the reason is "she needs to advance in her career", so be it: an absent mother is never beneficial to a child. I've read some famous people (=nobles) biographies: mothers were absent, so were fathers. They were raised by nannies and priests. Turns out, they became warmongers dictators.

Just saying

"Only once the egg has been fertilized"

And... how do you know, exactly?

You could also use this situation to your benifit by shaping your life like getting a good job or getting a degree and marrying this chick and settling down with her and starting a family.

Because the process to form life has started through the process of fertilization and only intervention from man can stop the child from being born (outside of natural causes). Even Wikipedia can tell you that.

If fertilization is prevented altogether then that's a different story entirely

I was asking a different thing. How do you know exactly, WHEN the egg has been fertilized? That was my question. "WIKIPEDIA" cannot tell me that.

Wow it's that easy to become successful? More kids should have babies in high school. Seems like it could HUGELY benefit them.

Only after a positive pregnancy test based on the limitations of current technology. I am not sure why that matters as it's not like you can murder the baby prior to knowing you are pregnant anyways.

You can murder it before knowing it was fertilized

I'm no pregnancy-test chemist, but I don't think they could catch THE EXACT MOMENT.

"as it's not like you can murder the baby prior to knowing you are pregnant anyways."

Sure you can, dude! If the mother has a not so regular period, drinks, smokes, does drugs, does sports, lives in a polluted environment, has genetic defects, she can surely murder the baby prior to knowing she is pregnant. I never really watched that shitty show, "16 pregnant", but from the trailers I think I remember they were mostly obese girls that didn't even notice. Why didn't they? Sure, lack of sexual education. But also, irregular periods because of obesity. And, again, that applies to drug use, being underweight, having conditions, etc.

just saying

This is one of the more logical perspectives I'm considering. An abortion would make it easier for us to achieve our goals (better job, better house, financial stability) which ultimately leads to us being able to provide an amazing life for our child when then time is right. Is it selfish to have an abortion when the reasoning behind it is we want our baby to lead a good life?

What is one good reason for a good, pure innocent child to die for your mistake?

My friend regrets her abortion every day. She doesn’t really feel bad about scrambling the little bastard’s brains but it fucked her body up really bad.

She takes birth control. Still got pregnant. Out of her control. Still "our mistake"

??

There's no guarantees in life, OP. Maybe you have all those things, but one of you gets cancer and dies, reducing your child's quality of life. Either way, killing a baby so another one can lead a slightly (or even much) "better" life seems like poor reasoning. I understand that you are scared and trying to rationalize it, but you are making a lot of faulty assumptions in the process

None of the anons are considering the child and it's future.
Since you two seem to be retarded and aren't careful, abortion is likely your best option. Don't bring a child into this world that you are not financially and emotionally ready for. You two clearly are not ready.

If you both can grow up and learn to manage, then have the child.

Abortion isn't murder especially if it's saving the child from living hell on Earth due to stupid parents who wouldn't know what protection is.

I am personally very much against kids unless you "have it made" and "she is the one" and you want that kind of life.

If you feel like you truly love her, and she truly loves you, and you have been LIVING together for more than several years, can financially handle a child, and WANT a child, it might be ok to keep it.

Otherwise, you are probably fucking over both yourself and the kid. I don't have any personal experience though.

Okay. That seems like a fair examination of my current situation. It would help if you could elaborate as to why it is poor reasoning and why having the baby would be a better choice. Please refrain from using arguments based on morals (every baby deserves to live, abortion is immoral, etc.)

>we had sex and she's pregnant how could this happen

More like "she takes birth control and it failed. This shouldnt happen. Fuck."

Read the full thread or don't post please.

I am not saying it would be a better choice, I am saying that since you do not have the power to "predict the future" that you are making too many assumptions as to how successful you'll be, how a little extra money will benefit a future child, whether you two will be able to be more present in the child's life, whether you two will even be together/alive/etc. Everything could be "perfect" timing for having a child and one of you could die in a car crash leaving the child with one parent. Regardless, killing one baby to "maybe" benefit a theoretical future baby that may or may not be born is faulty logic.

I will go on to say that I am not religious. Even still, abortion feels wrong to me because I do equate it to murder, which is also wrong objectively and not just morally. My gf and I were in a similar situation about 9 years ago. Neither of us were established in our careers, weren't married, were using birth control, and didn't feel we were ready. We had the baby and I am glad we did. We both were able to work our way into great careers, make good money, and our two kids are turning out well. Waiting until now wouldn't have provided a new child any better of a life than the first.

You clearly have not read my previous replies. Most of what you said is inaccurate. Please read the entire thread to avoid sounding like a moron. Thanks.

it's amazing what man will do when they have to live for someone other than them self.

Yeah, I certainly got much more ambitious once I found out the gf was pregnant. Worked my way from shitty $30K/year job to one that pays $200K currently.

>how come my seat belt didn't work when I was driving 100mph down the highway

>Did abortion affect your mental or physical health?
Not at all.
>Did you feel regret?
No, occasionally I'll wonder what if but the decision was mutual between the two of us and wasn't made rashly.
>Did your life turn out better because you had one?
Honestly? It did. I was 17 when it happened and now I'm 30. My husband (at the time boyfriend) and I have a nice house, careers, and two happy healthy children.

If I could do it all again, of course I'd go to greater lengths to prevent the pregnancy all together. It was the result of birth control failure so I'd use a second form as well.

I see. Your perspective is also very logical, and for that I thank you. You have given me something to consider (ultimately I will let my girlfriend decide, I will not force her into a life she thinks she is not ready for.) Most I can do is pass on this perspective and let her evaluate it herself. Thank you for not trying to make me feel guilty or shameful in any way, this was the kind of perspective I was looking for. Much appreciated.

Good luck, OP

Please explain to me how to avoid unplanned pregnancy then. It seems like your logic is heading in the direction of

Want to avoid pregnancy? Dont have sex

Don't be stupid. Just ask her if she's ready. Me and my gf waited, she had one abortion because she was going to school and I was a wageslave and we weren't anywhere financially ready. Recently we finally had our first. I had 24k in the bank, a newish car, and felt confident. I bought everything we would ever need.
Really, just ask her. If you've been with her a while, you should know more or less where she stands on this. Of course you also have to respect whatever she decides, it is her body on the line.

Oh wow he figured it out

I had the abortion pill at 8 or 9 weeks. It was painful and sad. It was 6 hours of extreme cramps and pain (didn't take the pain pills they gave me because opiates fuck me up) and finally the fetus came out. PP told me that I probably wouldn't see "anything recognizable" and that I would have only a few lemon sized blood clots. Well let me tell ya, the first thing that popped out was the fetus. Completely intact, developed, and recognizable. It didn't hurt when it came out just felt like a poop coming out of my vagina. I had to bury it because it looked like a dead human being, how could I flush that? However, I was passing huge blood clots for weeks. I bled heavily for a month, and then spotted for weeks after that. My skin looked and felt horrible, I was extremely angry and depressed and it ruined my relationship. Still happy I did it though, I definitely do not want children.

My exgf aborted my child against my will and I forever hate her for it.

Want to avoid car accidents? Walk everywhere. Actually, someone else might hit you while you're walking. Just stay home forever. That'll do it.

That logic fails when applied anywhere else, so what makes you think it's valid for pregnancy?

If both of you are white, you should NOT get an abortion. Raise that child! Otherwise, go crazy!

>Additionally, 1/4 to 1/3 of all women over the age of consent have had an abortion preformed.
I don't have an eyerolling .gif of the appropriate caliber.

why don't you want kids?

>being 24/25
>8 year partnership
you are in the prime of your baby making years. its definitely a challenge but that much more worth it, 2 years you will be better anyway. post partum is no joke so make sure she has any extra counseling. childcare will make you better prepared to serve.

>I am personally very much against kids unless you "have it made" and "she is the one" and you want that kind of life.

>If you feel like you truly love her, and she truly loves you, and you have been LIVING together for more than several years, can financially handle a child, and WANT a child, it might be ok to keep it.

as someone with a child, it seems like you have a pretty strong relationship and you're both confident about being together. things will work either way, support system will take off some pressure. enjoy the time that you have as parents, especially the first couple years. 26 now, my son 2. they're amazing, you'll know what to do.

>Did abortion affect your mental or physical health?
i had two girls be fine afterwards, two be kind of a bitch about it afterwards, and one become completely unhinged afterwards (no bullshit, absolutely nuts. fists were thrown, cops were called). no physical side effects that i am/was aware of. obviously i am not with any of these women currently. i regret nothing, but i cannot say if my life turned out better or worse for it. i am doing well now, but that could have still happened if i had kids.
tread carefully, my son

My wife had an abortion just before we got together. I overheard her doctor making verbal records. She has never mentioned it and she is opposed to abortion. I'm assuming it fucked her up.

Money is a trivial thing to consider. We waited until things were looking good to have a kid and regret our lack of youth to fully enjoy life. I realize that my career would have ended up in probably the same place If I did it earlier and my wife has jumped from job to job and who knows. I found out I was really sick when my child was two years old. Now, our situation diminishes. Waiting for the right time isn't a good reason to wait. Kids are fucking cheap. There is a lot of hype from guilting parents and people trying to sell you stuff. Kids cost almost nothing and they make up for that by getting you the remote or whatever.

I don't have any need to influence your decision. But just wanted to represent that side of the issue.

fuck off and die normalfag you have no place on Jow Forums if you have a girlfriend especially moreso if you have children

Of course it was better. I wasn’t ready he wasn’t ready. I wasn’t going to be a dumbass who has a kid young. I have mental issues that causes me to be a little risky. I’m taking pills now. You never forget though, she will think about it every single time her period comes around. Everytime I baby comes on the screen it’s a reminder of the one you never had. I had to do it I don’t regret it but it still makes me cry sometimes.

Stfu pro lifer. People aren’t ready
“They shouldn’t open their legs then”
You don’t know how people were raised, or how their mental state is stfu.

Nope the fuck out homie.

How can anyone know what is better than what isn't? Let the universe lead us. We don't know where we are going or how the get there anyhow. If you know, you know. If you don't know, all the better.

Don’t let these DUMD KEKS let you throw your life away. Go through with it man wherever it’s legal to get done. Trust me if you’re not ready for a kid it’ll destroy both of you

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My girl had an abortion. I'm glad she went through with it because neither of us were ready for a child. She knew where I stood on abortion but I ultimately left it up to her since it's her body. I was prepared to face the situation and would have respected whatever she chose to do.

We both want kids. But we also want them to live a good quality of life. We don't want to be struggling just to feed and shelter them. We want to do all of the fun stuff that our own parents were able to afford for us that gave us the awesome childhoods that we had. While also setting them up for success by putting them in all sorts of different classes and activities to find out what their interests are.

If we would have had a child a few years ago, we would more than likely be back at my parents place. Dependent on them for shelter. Not being able to put him/her up for hockey or ballet or whatever they wanted. We would be working constantly. I would have felt like a failure for not being able to support my family and my girl would have broken down like her sister did.

Personally, I don't think about what could have been. That child never had any time to develop. It had no chance right out of the gate. I'm not a very spiritual person or anything. The abortion has very little affect on me. My girl is about the same. I try my best not to spoon feed my own reasonings to her because I want to know how she really feels about it. Women are more emotional and the fact that something growing inside of her was extracted makes it normal for her to feel different about it. So far I get the impression that it she's okay with it. She thinks about it sometimes but is relieved to have done it.

We're about ready for a planned child this time and are excited about it. Ultimately your decision comes down to your own values. If you really care about and love your gf, I would do everything to comfort her and go with whatever decision she chooses. Don't force her to do anything.

Maybe susan would be a terrible mother because of the shitty lifestyle she lived, not because she didnt have children. My mother still lived like a whore and was a hedonistic idiot with 2 kids.

Use a fucking condom or birth control next time fucking ass

Read the thread. We do use birth control fucking ass.

OP here. Thanks for the honest feedback from those of you that are genuinely trying to help.

>want to avoid car accident? Walk everywhere.
>want to avoid pregnancy? Dont fuck.
Seems to check out at the base level. but of course things can happen out side of parameters.
>Just stays home for ever. Dies of cancer anyways
>Chooses to remain abstinent. Gets raped

the logic still plays out

Because I'm young and not financially stable enough and apart from that even if I was, it just doesn't sound appealing. Having to tend and care for some helpless creature that drains your money and youth? Just, why... I don't need to continue my DNA. There's plenty of people doing that already. Just adopt ffs. Goddamn breeders.

Never had an abortion because man.

My mother had an abortion when she was young and hadn't married yet. I think it is the greatest regret of her life. She still cries about it even now, forty years later. It changed her life and how she sees the world, in as much that she couldn't take the guilt and ended up religious.

Thing is, none of this will happen to you, it might happen to your girlfriend, and not now, it may be ten or more years down the line. Whatever you do end up doing don't push her into it, at the end of the day it is her decision and it needs to be an informed one.

Is this because it's basically birth control for browns?

Aw. Look at that baby.

>the same people who say abortion is ok
>are the same people who say eating eggs is murder
who woulda thunk

i had to take plan b once and it fucked my menstrual cycle up. very unpleasant. i assume an abortion would be that but 20x worse. get it done as soon as possible and it will be less painful.
>a bunch of incels who can't get a girl to even look them in the eyes seething that women are entitled to choosing whether they want to give birth or not
push a cantaloupe out of your asshole and then get back to me.

At the moment it's performed

I went through this same thing, I have always regretted it and it has effected my relationship with my wife. She too feels it was a mistake now. My situation was very similar to yours, however we were both determined never to have children. The abortion has made us rethink that decision. If you eventually want a child please understand, you already have one, whether or not the timing is perfect, that is the reality. You must not let your girlfriend take the lead in this decision, you must understand that you as a man must take responsibility for her safety (mental and otherwise). She will regret an abortion eventually, and she almost certainly would not regret caring the baby to term and becoming a mother. This decision will change the both of you forever, but becoming parents is one of the most if not the most, natural and healthy things we can do. Abortion is not, and its effects are on people can be devastating and are mixed at best.

>Are you married?
>Do you own a house?
If you said no to either of these then abort that fucker.