Hi Jow Forums

Hi Jow Forums,

Omega male user here. My best friend is a girl I’ve had strong feelings for almost as long as i known her. 11 years now. Im 35. She’s my best friend and one of my only friends.

She’s had about 4 boyfriends since a met her and does a fair bit of dating and one night stands between relationships.

Problem is sometimes she tells me she has feelings for me. Says she thinks we should get married sometimes. Only really says this when she’s in a relationship she’s not happy with, or otherwise can’t pursue what she saying. Now, after 11 years I’ve learned well enough she doesn’t really mean this. I tell her this much, and she says she can’t help feeling this way and says sorry for “being confusing”. And sure enough a few weeks can pass after saying this stuff, and her relationship can end, she starts dating again and starts telling me about how she’s fall head over heals in love with this new guy she started dating and how she’s far more attracted to him than she ever would’ve been to me and how great the sex is. It’s like any feelings she may have thought she had for me vanish quickly and I’m suddenly just her “female friend” with whom she desperately wants to share the details of her new love life with. Obviously this hurts like fuck. Very recently I finally told her to never tell me she has feelings for me again. I should have said this forever ago, but I’m a pathetic omega male who will most likely never have a girlfriend of any kind, and I was too pathetic to say I didn’t want to to say she had extra platonic feelings for me. But I’ve finally reached my limit, and am quite ready to die alone with no more women fucking with my feelings. We are still great friends, but I’m ready to drop a hard boundary on anything non-platonic.

1/n

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Another component to all this is that I’m pretty certain she has borderline personality disorder. I think this is a factor in why she behaves like she does. It certainly explains why she is attracted to emotionally distant men who are absolutely not good for her mental health. I recently wonder if she *thinks* she has strong feelings for me at times because I’m a strong source of stability in her life, which is something someone borderline really craves and worries about losing. These strong feelings make her feel like she can keep me in her life easier, even if it’s clear enough she’s not attracted to me nearly enough to actually pursue a relationship. She seems to mean these things when she says them (she thinks at least) but as soon as she finds a new guy she likes and can date, the need in her to tell me these things vanishes. I think it’s because when she meets these new guys she sees the opportunity to finally have the love and stability she’s craved all her life, and she simply can’t bring herself to hesitate pursuing it and simply forgets about me in the process.

2/n

Right now she’s having a fling with a guy she’s massively attracted to, and says if she can’t find someone like him she probably will never bother with another relationship. But lately she’s texting me heart emoji and said “I have warm feelings for you”, which I promise you is alternative way she’s trying to say “i love you” but she won’t say that because I told her not to. She’s saying this stuff because the fling is clearly not going anywhere and it’s depressing her. I think if she told me that she loved me one more time and I believed her, when she inevitably started fucking some new guy and forgetting why she told me that, my heart would break in two and never go back together properly, and I’d spend the rest of my life hating myself for allowing that to happen.

I’m wondering does any of this sound familiar to other anons? What did you do? How did you handle it?

3/3

ignore her you fuck

if she gives you hope, its for your attention.
No you don't have a chance, yes, she is using you for ego. I didn't even read your post.

Pretty much doing this. Hope it leads to someplace better for me than where I am.

The omega life is a hard life.

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fuck 10 other girls, and you will forget this girl existed

Her bullshit is probably why you are an omega. How can you date when you are already emotionally married to a girl?

>Her bullshit is probably why you are an omega.
That’s very sweet user. I promise you I would almost certainly still be omega otherwise. I’m pretty autistic and would probably have no friends atm without her. Also become chronically ill in recent years and can no longer work lol.

But you’re right. I’ve made my life worse by allowing this situation to persist.

Lol. Not with my personality. I’m ready to live the rest of my life alone.

ok omega, she said that to hurt you dude. She isnt over it and you probably need to the mature one and let her scratch and kick and bite at you like a cat to a scratching post.

I see what you're saying. And she's done stuff like this a lot over the years and I've often wondered is it something she did to hurt me, or make me jealous or whatever. Maybe it is, but I really don't think so. When she does this shit she really has no interest in affection from me. She really just seems to forget about whatever feelings she seemed to display before for me. I've tried to probe her a few times to see was she saying any of this to hide insecurities she had about me liking her back or something. But I'm pretty sure she just simply flat out doesn't find me attractive and simply sometimes finds reasons to pretend she has feelings. There's simply too much evidence in favour of this and little evidence for anything else. I'd feel pretty foolish to think anything else at this point.

do you think you could be misinterpreting these feelings at all?

Misinterpreting how?

To me the fact that she will tell me about these strong feeling she has for me, and then go off later to fuck some guy and tell about how attractive she finds him seems very odd. And i promise this is not some "i'll fuck a guy to make user-friend jealous". She has never said in any significantly strong terms that she wants a relationship with me. Strangely she will often talk about us getting married but really reclines when i ask does she want to to be a couple first. Which to me certainly is some kind of red flag. I don't know exactly what's going on in her mind, but I don't think it's genuine feelings for me. My best guess is what I said before, that she wants emotional stability. She often calls me her "rock", because I'm a close friend who's always there for her, and her relationships never last. I think the idea of marriage to me makes her feel like she'd have more stability. I'd be less likely to disappear, I'd be around her more often. She's be closer to my family too, whom she likes. And when I ask her why she wants to get married she lists these things, but can rarely seem to say anything she wants from me personally in a marriage besides being "close".

I think she reclines when I ask her is she wants to be a couple because she'd get none of those things above from that, just romantic intimacy from me. Which I think she in fact does not want all, if anything she wants to want me that way, but simply doesn't.

That's my take anyways. I'm posting here because I don't know for sure.

user if you really want a romantic relationship with her, ironically, you have to let go of wanting a romantic relationship with her. You are probably neutering your actions to line up for that goal. And by doing that, she never gets to see the real you.

You need to work on you. Do what you can to look healthy. Wear fitting clothes. Then find some way to make more friends and get some dates. Maybe read these books

Power of habit
No more mr nice guy
Models
3% man

Also look up People pleasers and ptsd.

If you improve yourself and clearly show you dont need her with more friends and your own date every now and then, she might see you as dating material.

Also, I'd get more flirty. She asks to marry you again, say yes, what time. If she says she loves you, tell her great, let's go out. Who gives a shit about these other guys. You are being polite to her out of respect for them. But who are they? Most of them are gone now. Do they show you respect? Do they try to be your friend? Fuck em.

There is the bigger issue of her being crazy. If that's where you want to put your dick, whatever. But you've been warned.

This kind of post seemed relevant maybe 9 years ago. I've been best friends with this girl for 11 years. We've talked almost everyday in that period. I spend a lot of my time staying at her parents place hanging out. She spends a lot of time at mine. Consistently.

11 years is enough time to get comfy around someone who you talk to every day. Part of my certainly that she has no real attraction to me, is that by now she is certainly seeing the real me, warts and all and behaves as she does.

I know all the basic advice "dress gud, be inderesding, ave gud higene" ect ect, and I'm alright at that. Considering I'm chronically ill, poor and mostly bald.

>She asks to marry you again, say yes, what time. If she says she loves you, tell her great, let's go out.
These conversations have happened in every conceivable way to the point I don't feel the need to have another one.
I say
> yes, what time
She says
>If I'm still single in 5 years (always 5 years from the current time)
I say
>great, let's go out
I see her face look visibly pained as she tries to figure out how to reason that she "loves me" but doesn't want to go out with me. Usually says something like:
>... how about me just get married :)?
and so forth.

>There is the bigger issue of her being crazy
This is indeed true. And probably a deal breaker in any event. It's part of why I like her though. We both have large mental health issues. Both have a lot of anxiety problems, of different kinds. I have a lot of empathy for her. It's part of why we are good friends also. Maybe not a good basis for a relationship all the same. Perhaps all the more reason I should never bother with one.

Pls

I dont know man. I still say get more friends and date some other girls.

Your only chance now is that it will snap her out of being lazy and go after you. You're essentially her emergency dick.

What is the worst case here? Some girls turn you down but you eventually find another girl to date? You make some more friends?

Different user but this was painful to read. She legit doesn't seem interested in you like that. You're probably more like a brother to her or something. Go after other women who will at least see you as a potential lover. It's not healthy to sit around waiting for her to one day magically wake up be like "OMG I REALLY DO LOVE YOU user" because that shit only really happens in movies.

Yes, that's about my assessment too. It helps to hear other anons come to the same view though.

I don't think there'll be any other women though. I'm a bit too fucked up for that.

You need to ditch this scarcity mindset man. Women are everywhere, and this woman you're attracted to? Chances are you'll find many other women with very similar qualities and personality quirks.Just be sure to give them a chance so they can give you a chance.

>Im a bit too fucked up for that
This kind of attitude will shoot you in the foot over and over again though if you let it.

this man's got it

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I’m 35. I’ve tried a lot of shit over the years. I’m also so sick now i feel like I’m 80. Even when i was healthy i tried everything. Some people are just beyond help. I’ll continue trying my best, but I’m not holding out hope. With any luck I’ll die of my illness in 20 years or so anyways.

Thinking everyone can find a girl might help you sleep better at night. But that’s not how the world works.

holy orbiter lmaaoo
you'll never bag her

It seems like you've already thrown in the towel either way. But if you're dying of a terminal fucking illness like you're making it seem, then being with this girl should be the least of your priorities.

Indeed. Never said this girl was a top priority

I watched Forrest Gump the other day, are you him? Anyway the only way she'll ever be with you without running off is is she is terminally ill.

I LOVE YOU JENNYIGH

youtube.com/watch?v=NR1rV6MtIco

Nah. That girl actually wanted Forest. This girl might ask to marry me on her deathbed but not because she loves me, just to help her feel a bit better before she dies.

Don't pursue a girl with Borderline Personality Disorder. ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION!!!! Turn around and run OP. Save yourself the hell of being in a relationship with a borderline girl. They will turn your existence into a waking nightmare. Just find another girl and keep this one as a friend. When you have another girl in your life romantically, your friend will probably start developing feelings for you. Don't take the bait though user. BPD is a nightmare!

So This....is the power of the omega male huh?

>When you have another girl in your life romantically, your friend will probably start developing feelings for you
Lol. This already happened once. We had a mutual female friend for awhile we both really liked. Pretty clear she fancied me. Girl this thread is about admitted she has some kind of feelings for me for the first time then. But admittedly never actually wanted to go out with me. That new girl was BPD too, but even worse. Whole thing blew up after a couple of weeks and we never spoke to her again.

The hell is an omega male?

you haven't seen the image, lol

Yes. The Omega power flows through my veins.

Imagine an entire army of Omega males. Totally unloved. Totally unfearing of death. Unstoppable.

Tell me more about BPD girls.

I'm not reading anything in this thread because it's all going to be cancer.

If this is a real story then get the fuck away from her before her toxicity makes you kill yourself or before you become a cuck. Just fucking broaden your horizons and talk to a bunch of people, male and female. You'll get there just being a normal fucking human being.

But I cannot stress enough, get the dumb bitch out of your life, I don't care how long you have been "friends". She's been using you to dump emotions on and that's probably all she'll ever use you for. Not worth.

Thanks boys