Femanons be honest, does being a shy guy go from being creepy to attractive if he gets a good looking ripped body?

nigga your reading comprehension skills need some work.

it was a food analogy but he was implying there was something rotten on the inside of people like I'm talking about, learn to read between the lines retard

Not really.
Being creepy is not about being shy, being creepy is about not being able to read social clues and understanding when you crossed someone's boundaries. You can be creepy while being the most extrovert fuck ever (for example guys who cold approach you), as you can be creepy while staring at a girl for 40 minutes in class.
Obviously being good looking helps: you're not misreading the "PLEASE STOP BEING SEXUAL TOWARDS ME" sign because I'm not sending it, I appreciate your attentions.
But if I don't want to fuck you, there's no amount of ripped that can fix you trying to coerce me into sucking your cock.

Go read his post another 5 fucking times really slow. He's talking about how good looking FIT people can be CREEPS. The food analogy is about how something can look good but be shit inside. Shy never came up or went into it. At all.

>Shy never came up or went into it. At all.
that's the whole point of the thread though
I'm asking if you can get away with being shy if you are fit at good looking

You're not shy, you are an annoying autist. Big difference. Just shy guys can and do get girls.

Being shy isn't a problem. Half of the guys I dated were super shy and awkward, and none of them was fit.

I know that the fucking point of this thread but that wasn't the point of his fucking post you dolt.

Being shy doesn't always equal being creepy. Fit doesn't always equal attractive. If you're coming across as creepy then the problem is more than your lack of fitness. I'm a very shy person whose fitness has varied greatly through the years, but I've had a number of gf's and do my best to not be creepy

then what was the appeal?

how about you learn how to read at all, you idiot. Jesus christ, is english not your native language? I can break out the crayons and draw you a picture if you want.

My boyfriend is incredibly cute. He's very smart, witty, funny, knowledgeable. And has the heart of gold, really. So sweet, so romantic. It took me 2 months to get him to open up but he's such a catch.

I mean what was the appeal in the first place if he was really shy and not fit?

I reposted, sorry.
I already told you: he was really cute. He has the cutest face ever, a smile that makes me feel fuzzy inside. He was witty and he knows about a bunch of stuff. He has a great personality. He's kind to everybody he meets.
I don't know, lovely person.

so lookism was right all along and it's all about the face?

What? No.
I like many things about him. I listed them in the two post you even replied to.
He's also not the first cute guy I talk to dude, if I fucked every cute guy I saw I would have slept with a thousand men.

>let me just ignore everything about personality and being a good person so I can continue to cope with the idea of lookism
Have you considered not being a boring, shit person OP?

it's just how did you find out about all his great personality traits if he is shy and introverted?

I talked to him, lol. How else are you supposed to find out how someone is as a person?

so why did you approach him and talk to him?
obviously he didn't creep you out

We were volunteering for a political campaign, he didn't know anybody, I walked up and said hi.
Why would he creep me out?

>Why would he creep me out?
because he's shy and not fit?
maybe you're just better than most women but most are put off by that I feel like

I'm not different from most women, no.
The only people I've met who strongly care about having a ripped boyfriend are gay dudes, most girls will be fine as long as you're in decent shape.
Being shy is not a huge issue, but you should get over it because you miss out on a lot of opportunities and actively try to talk to people.

Shy guys are already fucking adorable as is. Most girls don't give a shit if you're ripped or not.

>Being shy is not a huge issue
then why am I so fucking miserable?
I've been told I'm cute so many times but it doesn't help me because I'm still a shy social retard

I don't know you, I can't tell you why you're so miserable. I've known plenty of shy guys with girlfriends.
Surely being convinced that women won't love you ever doesn't help you.

I think I'm just next level shy and mostly just around women so it's off putting when I can't hold a conversation with them and get really tense
I can make guy friends like it's nothing

Then spend more time around women and try to get used to talking to them. Maybe in a safer environment like class, or an activity like volunteering.

false premise in the question that shy is interchangeable with the starting line of creepy.

also not Jow Forums

>Then spend more time around women
But they're annoying and boring.

Then don't date women and hire prostitutes to fuck.
Problem solved?

>Maybe in a safer environment like class
I dropped out of school

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For real though, how can you get a girlfriend if you're shy? I don't get it.

Creepy is more of a thing of social interaction. Sure, some people will think someone can look creepy based on appearances but through repeated interactions, if the person is genuinely kind, people won't think of them as creepy.
On the other hand say you got some ripped guy. Sure, at first people could find him attractive, but through repeated interactions of him getting very touchy and fetishy with girls, that dude will be labeled as a creep. Some roasties will still go after the ripped guy though.

Being shy and not fit doesn't make someone creepy. How many fucking times will I have to say that in this thread. You're miserable because you have convinced yourself you are, this shy and creepy shit you're on about is just a coping mechanism. Go focus on yourself and learn that happiness doesn't come from others.

I can tell, you can't even finish reading a sentence.
Try volunteering, church or something like that.

By being around girls till you're at ease with them.

I can be 'around' them, but it doesn't mean we ever talk to each other.

Then start talking to them, till you're at ease around them.

But a gf would be cheaper in the long-term...

Did you approach them?
How did you meet them?

LOL

Listen faggot, you can't complain about not being able to get a woman then go and complain about women. If women are annoying then be glad you don't have a gf

You'd think that.
My boyfriend spent 300$ on me last week just for a couple dinners and a small gift.

So how do you meet these gfs as a shy man?

They'd need to be willing participants in the discussion and not act reserved, though, and that never happens.

I approached two of them, one while volunteering and one at a party.
I met one online and one was friends of a classmate who introduced us.

This. Being a guy who used to be more creepy and always at least half attractive I had to start watching out for women's discomfort signals, boundaries. Being good looking and outgoing didn't help at all if I was too aggressive or just not even noticing that I'm bothering someone.

even as a shy man I know that you have to be brave and initiate contact
you can't rely on them approaching you
it's not that I don't know what to do it's how do I overcome my fear and do it?

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Then put yourself in an environment when it's easier to converse because you're there because you have an interest in common.

>tight shirts can show off a good bod you silly dumb roasti

Not her, and not a chick at all but,

I challenge you to find me a shy guy who wears tight shirts instead of thick/baggy layers of clothing, and/or whose posture isn’t so god awful terrible that he’s basically hunched over half the time, making him look like he’s always halfway trying to curl in to a ball.

> t. Former shy guy.

>I challenge you to find me a shy guy who wears tight shirts instead of thick/baggy layers of clothing
me

That helps in the moment, but I've never managed to even make friends with women regardless. I legitimately can't tell if I'm just so uninteresting that they don't like me or if I'm supposed to be more proactive.

>Go focus on yourself and learn that happiness doesn't come from others.
Actually, youre either ignorant or blatantly lying
Social relationships are by far the number one indicator of happiness/satisfaction in life

>I'm supposed to be more proactive
it's this one, be more social and outgoing
it takes time and practice

everything you think and feel is inside your own head only so to be happy you have to think happy
I see people all the time in social relationships who are miserable because they have a bad mind

Definitely be more proactive.
How do you expect to build a social relationship with people if you don't give them any sign of your desire to?

Being shy isn't an excuse to never talk to a woman. You still have to do it.

The more you do it the less scary it becomes. The fear will always be in the back of your mind, but you'll learn to live with it and ignore it.

Me

If your happiness doesn't come from being a good and virtuous person, but from the fickle opinions of other people then I truly feel bad for you. Go study some stoicism

then you're not shy

I have about the most shy personality you'll ever find in a male but I've also been getting fit and I like to show off my hard work
you're thinking of insecurity not shyness my guy
do something that gives you some form of confidence, lifting did it for me

Cool. As long as you don’t walk around like your eyes are glued to the floor or like you’ve got the weight of the world crushing your shoulders, you probably don’t look like a shy guy at all.

>How do you expect to build a social relationship with people if you don't give them any sign of your desire to?
I know, but the same goes for them just as well. I can't read women at all or tell if I'm being a bother or not.

> I can't read women at all or tell if I'm being a bother or not.
Then maybe they're giving you a sign and you just can't read it.

I tense up way too much and I think people pick up on that and it turn them off
I'm really working on releasing all the tension in my body when I'm around people

Yeah. It's something I'm still working on.

Is that a good thing, though? If you're shy but don't look the part, won't women assume you're just a cunt?

>I'm really working on releasing all the tension in my body when I'm around people
I have the same problem, how are you working on this?

slow breathing and consciously releasing the tension in my body, especially in my face
just force your muscles to relax, remember you have full control over them

Shy != creepy, user, sorry. Shy dudes can be really interesting, they just can't also be creepy.
>weird staring
>awkward comments
>singling me out

These are not the same things are:
>That quiet guy that sits in the library and is reading a different book every week on a wide array of topics
>That guy that occasionally interjects, somewhat meekly, but with interesting facts because he clearly has hobbies outside of what I know about him

A hot body always helps of course, but shy guys that are genuinely kind and thoughtful are just find. It's when they are obviously trying to manipulate me for sex that it becomes turbo off putting.

Stop assuming the worst of people. Also care less about what people think

I think I've just been pursuing the wrong women then because I never got sexual with them but my being really tense and meek has put off them off when we meet one on one
I was never able to articulate how I felt about them because I was too scared
the last girl I went after was a choker wearer with bad daddy issues though so maybe it was my bad, she was really friendly to me though

be attractive

>Is that a good thing, though? If you're shy but don't look the part, won't women assume you're just a cunt?

Possibly. It definitely happened a lot with me, even with most of my extended family (which I was actually kind of amused to find out recently. Apparently they all thought I didn’t talk because I was stuck up or something)

At the same time, anyone I actually talked to was pretty quick to realize I was a very sweet guy, just insanely shy.

I didn’t really realize it at the time, but looking back I actually had a lot of people (both male and female ) who basically tried to looked out for me and tried to defend and be protective of me because of it.

Now that I’m much older, I find myself doing the same with some younger friends who I know need to build up their own confidence. Heck, I even remember being that way towards a much shyer friend in middle/high school.

The caveat is that you actually need to be a nice person. Not in a Nice Guy™ sense, but in that you need to be someone who is genuinely good natured about things, and not a repressed asshole who hates the world.

The thing about being nice that 4channers can't get is that it's a selfless sacrifice. These guys don't do selfless.

>the last girl I went after
This is my point user. We can tell when we're being "gone after" and it often comes off as predatory. Especially if you're shy / don't socialize well. That is a sad truth, but when you're interacting with people, if you're bad at it, then people will be put off.

That doesn't mean that all Shy guys are weird. The ones that don't "go after us" are the ones that are interesting and approachable. I'm totally happy to initiate conversation with a shy guy who is doing something interesting, they just have to treat me like a person and not an object to be pursued. For instance:

>Shy guy in coffee shop reading an interesting sounding book. Lets say: ecological cycles of douglas-fir forests of the pacific northwest (leave my tastes alone lol).
>"That looks like a cool book! What do you think so far?"
>"Oh... um... yeah it's good.... It's about... like trees...."

Then the crucial:
>Stutters out, clearly doesn't know what to say next, goes back to his book.
Then I can try talking to him one more time, and if he engages it seems worth it to try and have a conversation. However if....

>Stares at me. Offers to start buying me stuff like coffee. Tries to launch into why I should already know about forests. Is judgmental about other people in the room... or any other sort of negativity.

^These are signs to me to back off because this dude is weird.

If you're shy try just being kind and thoughtful and _not_ "going after" someone. Just treat them like humans and let the ones that find you interesting come to you.

If you're going to be actively "going after" someone, you're the agent of change in that scenario and are thus responsible for not being meek and shy. It's like don't play a sport you're not good at, ya know?

>We can tell when we're being "gone after" and it often comes off as predatory.
I think my problem was not being aggressive enough though, like I said I should have told her how I feel about her but I was too scared to
I was also too scared to ever give her any compliments on looks or anything
I've been passive like you're telling me to be my whole life and it never helped, in fact it's why I'm miserable

Shredded bodies are for faggots. Seriously, it’s not appealing. Dad bods are insanely hotter.

I agree that roid bodies are gross but the dude in the OP pic is my goal body because I mean good lord look at him
I'm a straight dude but I know when a dude is hot

Whoops completely missed these posts.

I can tell you what I did.

Just walk chest out, spine straight.

Literally flex your shoulders back as far as they’ll go, and hold it for a while.

Let go almost when you feel like your starting to hurt. The over exertion/hyper extension of the muscles makes it so they’re now looser and much more difficult to hold as tense.

I play pool a lot now, and I still use pretty much the exact same trick to loosen my shooting arm so I don’t naturally try to tense up or jitter during my stroke.

Do this throughout the day.

Maybe you look like a weirdo, but you need to train your body to make a looser and straight posture, something natural and subconscious.

Build good habits.

Another thing that helped me was that I actually started wearing clothing that was a bit more restrictive by nature.

Maybe I looked like a tool, but I know that a big help for me was starting to wear cheap blazers and sports jackets I’d find at the gap or whatever.

It both made me feel a lot more confident in the way I was dressed, and also physically made it so that I was uncomfortable when I tried to slouch. I made sure to get them tight enough that the shoulders and chest areas felt tight if I tried to bend forward or hunch over, like was my natural inclination, and it made me more aware of when it was happening and when to adjust.

>I've been passive like you're telling me to be my whole life and it never helped, in fact it's why I'm miserable
I obviously can't speak for you personally, but the main problem I see shy guys have is:

>If you're shy / bad at interacting with people, you have to let people come to you.
>If you're never doing anything interesting, no one is going to come to you.

>If you're good at interacting with people, you can approach others successfully
>Even in this case, you need to be interesting enough to be able to talk about subjects that interest the person you're talking to.

The problem comes up when a shy guy finds a girl he specifically likes. Because if he has to rely on people approaching him, he can't really feasibly pick who that's going to be. He doesn't get to choose the people.
So shy guy gets a crush on someone, and then if they don't also happen to find him interesting, then there is no way that's going to work out.
The only thing you can really do that that point is learn to not be shy / learn how to be a good conversationalist. Basically:
>Treat women like you would treat a guy in terms of respecting their space and interests. We're just humans
>If you're confident, charismatic, and socially well adjusted, then you can tell when and how to approach women. You don't need guidance
>If you're shy, meek, not socially confident, either learn to be so through practice or just stick to yourself and try and do interesting stuff in places like coffee shops or libraries and let people approach you. This is obviously going to be a slower way to meet new people, but is definitely viable.

Best of luck user, I believe in you :)

Not him but,

I have generally in the core a super shy personality. Like i could be a fly in the wall in a conversation and just listen for hours.

But in the last few years through some volunteering actions i took for a hobby i had to push myself out. Now i am the witty extroverted guy who makes jokes and extreme gestures. However this only is q thing with people who i intearact via the hobby. Sure i can make it work for the regular people for random conversations these days but i just cant do it with girls i fancy. I feel i am still that guy shy quite guy, hell i even describe myself as such. However i dont think thats true anymore..

>Talking in front of a hundred people in an international event?
Super easy at this point, i can easily do what i want and get on with the dicussion of the cuff

>Approaching a girl i fancy that i either know or dont?
Heart rate goes up to 200 rpm and i almost will get a heart attack even while sitting in my chair.

I need some help here, since i am not conventionally attractive either. It shouldnt be this hard..

Watch the movie Unforgiven with clint eastwood. Look at the shy writer character compared to the alphas like Gene Hackman. He's quiet, shy, and comes off as a spineless worm.

Not her (I’m former shy, “sweet/blazers guy) but it sounds like your problem isn’t so much that you don’t know how to meet with people, it’s that you don’t know how to connect with them.

Everything you’re describing is all about dealing with people on a very superficial level, where effectively the most you could probably describe hem as is as acquaintances.

The joking, the random conversations and small talk, even meeting total strangers, that’s all stuff that’s superficial in nature.

The next step for you is to be able to connect with people on a more intimate and human level that goes beyond what you can learn in 10 minutes of small talk.

That in itself is an entirely different skill set, and one that requires you to expose yourself and be more open in a completely different way.

Part of the reason why women terrify you like that, is because you’re not yet comfortable of the idea of opening up or being real with someone.

That’s what you need to work on and train now.

What worked for me once I got to that point was actually a combination of things, but it basically boiled down to: I put myself out there, and forced myself to try to make real, connections with as many people as I could.

Literally drop myself at a bar, or a party, and talk with one person for hours at a time, to try and get somewhere where what we were talking about wasn’t just bullshit.

Eventually I did that enough that I got used to it.

Then one day I met a girl that I did with that, and basically fell head over heels for her. Eventually I wracked up the courage to do the most terrifying thing to me, to put myself completely out there to someone. It ultimately failed, but it was incredibly liberating. Like a weight was finally off my chest. The culmination of years of work. After that I never really felt nervous when dealing with women again. I then doubled down on that by throwing myself in to the world of dating to learn more.

Always keep pushing.

Lol roasties at so pathetic. You're probably all ugly and or fat. Hahaha. Also sluts deserve to be abused and alone.

Maybe for ugly girls

>Heart rate goes up to 200 rpm and i almost will get a heart attack even while sitting in my chair.
This sounds like you just have anxiety to some degree. It's like those professional athletes that don't ever choke because they've got "ice in their veins"? Like that's a trait that can be trained. You have to put yourself in high pressure situations and practice on just keeping your cool. I would say the best way to do this in relation to talking to women is just realize that it doesn't matter. Like, there isn't a ton to lose because there are billions of humans.

My best advice would be to practice by having conversations that don't revolve around romantic or sexual feelings. Don't dive in and ask "how can I get her to agree to a date". Just like.... It's a game of adaptation. You start small (That is a really cool hand bag you've got) with little one-off statements about things that are -not them-. Compliment the bag, or the book they're holding, or comment on something environmental (Waiting in line at a store -> "At least they're playing music for us while we wait, eh?"). Don't make the statements about her appearance or her self in any way, all people hate being judged (Like going to a weeb dude and being like: "Lol you like anime? Isn't that kids stuff?" and you will fail every time).

If you do this enough, you'll learn to not panic. If you fail on someone, just try and be nice and polite and know when to disengage and try again the next time.

It can be difficult because these are skills most people learn as younger kids, but if you're playing catch up, you just have to understand you're a bit behind the curve, don't get frustrated when people find you awkward (because you are being awkward) and accept that no individual failure to engage is a commentary on your likelihood of growing and just gracefully exit.

Best of luck dude, I believe in you too :)

Shyness notwithstanding, if he was creepy before he’ll likely stay creepy even if he’s visually more appealing.

But the thing that people don’t consider is that, the hotter you are the more willing people are to interact with you, which means a boost of confidence, which manifests as improved social skills.

So, it’s hard to say

I dont think you are right about that. I can easily go beyond the superficial and have hour long discussions with people as well. When i try to be real with someone i feel i can be overbearing and creep/stress people a bit too much.

I did try to be open with girls i talk, i think i just go into emotional stuff way too fast. Maybe i am chasing sth what should be in an advanced level of the relationship and trying to force it early on? I dont know, i am trying and lets see what happens..

I might have some anxiety in general, dont necessarily think it is high level though. I wouldnt want to presume such a thing until some professional diagnoses me with it.

But about the small talk? Isnt that fake? I want to get to know that person, i dont really care for the handbag or other stuff. I understand keeping it casual but thoee are not the stuff i do with guys either. So it would be just fake and artifical even more, wouldnt it?

I am playing catch up thats true, but only in romantic context and in such relationships. I can make friends just fine but i am approaching 29 and i never had a girlfriend. I had a good amount of friend who were girls, but never a romantic relationships. I can carry other kind of relationships just fine with any gender. I just have trouble turning a platonic relationship into a romantic one.

I dont want to sound defeatist by the way, i appreciate both your help. I am trying to learn from past mistakes and try to do better each time. I just am autisticly confused about all this..

>I dont think you are right about that. I can easily go beyond the superficial and have hour long discussions with people as well. When i try to be real with someone i feel i can be overbearing and creep/stress people a bit too much.

That’s par for the course in learning how to moderate and be appropriate. If you have no problems jumping to the real stuff, but are facing problems with over sharing, that just means you’re starting from the other extreme and need to learn to tone it down instead.

Too much is just as bad as too little.

The only way you learn to do that is basically by trial and error.

I know in my case I definitely had a number of times where id go through periods of either too extreme, and Then I’d adjust down, only to eventually realized I’d toned things down too much and would have to turn things up again.

You need to learn in which context, with which people, what level of connection is appropriate.

To reiterate, Too much connection at the wrong time is as bad as not enough connection at all points. The only way you find the middle ground is by learning how to adapt to the different situations with different people.

I guess it is trial and error. Like i replied to the other user. Any relationship except romantic i am good at this. But romantic relationships are still failures so far.

Shame really since i dont want sth like this to be a numbers game where i get good with practice. Maybe because of that i missed out on somebody who was awesome..

But who knows, thanks user for your advice.

>Isnt that fake?
No. What's a good analogy.... like... take some weeb shit like Naruto or something, right? I don't personally like it, but tons of people do. It would be inappropriate of me to say "That thing is bad and those people just have bad taste", because obviously it is providing them with some positive experience and they enjoy it. I would just have been being a judgmental cunt.

At the end of the day, people like compliments and they like certainty. If I asked you what you think about the Specie Circular, you might panic a bit if you don't know what that is. You're put on the spot with an unfamiliar subject matter. You know what you WOULD be comfortable talking about though? Why you bought the shoes you did. Something about them appealed to you and you know what that is. If I said they were dope shoes and I really liked them, then not only are you in familiar territory for conversation but you're also being complimented. Double win!

Small talk is just about making people feel good. That's really the end game.
>Compliments: directly feel good
>You're interesting: Oh I get the chance to learn something cool maybe. Excitement feels good.
>You think what I have to say is interesting: I get to nerd out about something for a brief second, and talking about my personal favorite things feels good.

As long as you always have the goal of "making the other person feel good" you should be able to fumble your way through small talk. It's just important to remember that the golden rule is not "do to others what you'd like done to you" it's "do to others what they'd like done to them" and sussing out what that is is the core of being socially functional.

At this point, you really can start using online services to meet new people. Either that, or friends of friends are how I've met all my partners (either just sex flings, or romantic relationships).

>But the thing that people don’t consider is that, the hotter you are the more willing people are to interact with you, which means a boost of confidence, which manifests as improved social skills.

THIS is why all shy boys should get Jow Forums
I can attest to the confidence part, I look in the mirror and feel great now
Still no gf yet though

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