My girlfriend got breast implants without consulting me and I don't know how to feel

I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year, she's always been proud of her bust and mentioned here and there that she wishes she was bigger. Aside from the passing thought it had never really entered my mind.

Cut to yesterday where I assumed she had gone to work like normal, only to get a text telling me to come to the hospital. Of course I drove there as fast as possible and in a panic, letting my mind wander to the worst possible scenario. But when I arrived she was smiling and weakly said 'surpriiise!'. She explained to me that over the past few months she's been in the process of getting a boob job and that she had it all worked out. While I was at the hospital I was mostly just confused, like I was in shock because of the adrenaline of getting there. But as that wore off I started to get a bit angry. Not only because I wasn't told any of this, but because what if something had happened and hell what if something does happen. Then she started getting defensive. That it's her body and she can do what she wants, that my opinion on it doesn't matter. I tried explaining that I don't care what she does, just that I want to be kept in the know. But she was too hung up on my own anger to care, that we'll talk about it when I've calmed down.

Now I'm not sure how to feel. It feels like my trust was abused, that I have no say in the relationship. And I don't know where to go from here. I don't want to break up with her, I love her. But I'm worried that I found this side of her that's always hidden away, that this will happen again. I don't mind that she got a boob job, heck if I'm honest there's a part of me that's excited. But that emotional hurt feeling won't go away. What should I do? Couples therapy? Of course I want to talk about it, but I'm worried she'll just shut me down again.

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Bitch doesn't respect you and your opinion
Dump her

if she shuts you down leave

But I love her, I don't want this to be the end with her. I just want her to understand where I'm coming from and apologise. I have no qualms about saying sorry myself, but I want her to too

that's why I'm saying : if she doesn't get it and stays defensive after you explain yourself and talk it out, there's nothing you can do really.

>But I love her
It's quite easy to forget your ex if you follow the manual
She sounds like that kind of girl that would cheat and blame it on her bf
Trust me she's not worth it

Get her to give you a titjob then break up with her

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in it. I just feel like an asshole because they're the reason I'm upset.

Don't. She should be the one feeling this

if you really think she did this for you, and this isn't a bad faith issue in your relationship, you need to still get the communication line open with her. Stress that you're happy that she wanted to do something nice for you, but that in the relationship that is trying to be serious, everyone needs to be a participant when it involves something as serious as eachother's body.

If she disagrees with that, ask her what makes a relationship serious?

Well she's right about it being her choice. Maybe she had a good reason not to tell you about it. But you're right OP you should have been informed about that process. She also has a right to cheat on you whenever she wants or abort any baby she wants, but you also have the right to leave whenever you want. So I'd suggest you exercise your rights too. Not saying you should be mean or leave immediately, but keep your options open. Don't be dependent on her. She's hardly wife material anymore.

its her body, she can do what she wants with it. Get over yourself.

It doesn't work like that, faggy
She's in relationship, so his opinion matters
Girls who want breast implants are usually just insecure

So, how are they? Do they feel good?

In the moment she was probably hurt because she thought you'd just be excited.

Try talking to her again about how you feel, and stress that your issue isn't with the boob job, it's with being scared shitless driving to the hospital and not knowing about this really important thing in her life

>hehe my bf likes my tits
>hehe imma make them bigger
>you like?
>what the fuck, you're my girlfriend, you should tell me if you're going to do this type of shit to yourself
>ummm sweaty I own MY BODY umm sexist
>"I wuv her"
Dude, you are going to get cheated on HARD. Never settle for these types. If it is "her body" why did she do it? She did it for you, or for whatever guy she's going to be fucking after you act like a beta in response. She's pushing boundaries and testing how much she can dominate in the relationship. And this chick seems like the type that would ask you to do it rough and then sue for abuse. I'd check out and never come back dude.

So here's an update. I went to go see her again and we had a proper talk about the whole thing. In fact she apologised as soon as I came through the door. We had an adult conversation and are on much better terms now. She understands what she did was wrong and is incredibly sorry about hurting me. She did genuinely just want to surprise me with it and the attitude came from a hurt ego, exhaustion, and fear. She promised something like this will never happen again and I trust her. That sounds like a bad idea but I do know her still, I believe what's she's saying based off her attitude. She's informed me about everything now, what she has planned over the next 5 or so years. This isn't going to be her last operation and honestly I'm fine with that. My problem was never the implants it was the secrecy.

I feel like I can finally have a breath now that we've talked it out. I'm excited to see the future with her. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited to see where she reaches in the future.

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How big are her new milkers? Tell her she fucked up and should have gone bigger.

1000cc and look at the post right above you.

>She did it for you
This is your mind on inceldom.

it's a big red flag and she gave you a fake-ass apology to appease you. she has psychological problems and you're so "in love" that you're ignoring all her red flags and problems which will blow up on you later.

love is just an emotion. wives who are beaten by their husbands might say, "...but I love him!!!!"

you need to start looking for some women to talk to on the side and mildly flirt with so you can move on whenever this relationship inevitably explodes.

you're even lying to yourself right now, telling yourself that "its not such a big deal"

but theres no openness or honesty with you, she doesn't trust you, respect you, or care about your opinion. your relationship is shallow as fuck if she can suddenly do that, and the fact that you were surprised means you don't really know her at all.

A real relationship would mean that you could see something like that coming, because you know her well.

A year isn't long enough to know someone deeply. Which is why there are so many divorces after 1-2 years of marriage.

just start talking to other women more often. you don't want to be with someone who will do whatever they want and then apologize after the fact, not giving a fuck if you approve or disapprove.

Ew. You didn't deserve an apology for anything, because it is her body, not yours. This has to be bait.

Bait

Who gets tit jobs in a hospital anymore?

Anyway....

If you believe that your gf went to work then get a text saying come to the hospital that is some bullshit.

I didnt even read your post past the title. Her body, she can do what she wants with it and doesnt need to consult you. If you dont like them, you can always leave and find someone else

I'm sure your boyfriend is very happy

This mode of thought is extremely childish and selfish.
Takes two to tango anons. Sure might be her body, but it’s a body that your SO has to live with/see/touch/etc too. Her body, sure, but it’s not just her body that the choice affects. OP def had every right to be pissed that she had a pretty drastic potentially consequential cosmetic operation done without even mentioning it to him. Most teams would at least have a quick huddle to communicate the game plan on that one, no?

Not even a sports analogy. Relationships aren’t comprised of individuals. Couples are supposed to work as a team.

He actually says multiple times that it's her body and she can do what she wants. The problem is that she didn't keep him in the loop. Presumably if you're in a relationshit with someone you love, big decisions like that are not something you hide from each other.

Yeah you are right to be angry, but honestly is not that big of a deal.
Do a little silent treatmen if you live together or be distant (don't cut contact), she will come arround. But it's something you both have to live with, obviously she won't go back now...
Now you have to know these things 1) wich money did she used, and 2) if she used her money and in her mind this was going to be a good surprise for you and you got all mad making her frustrated and 3) maybe it was just something she always wanted to do for herself.

Oh, glad to hear it.

Congrats, your GF is even hotter!

personally i would never ask for advice on women from Jow Forums, period. but anyways from your first post it doesn't seem unreasonable that she would assume that you would like her getting implants, and that she thought it would make for a good surprise.

if it were me, i would have expressed that it is important to me that she share these kinds of things, because not doing so (in this case) would make me wonder if i'm saying or doing something to lead her to believe that i find her inadequate, and that as someone who cares about her that i would want to be there to support her in the things that matter to her.

i think i would also explain what my mental state was after getting that kind of text, and that was why i reacted the way i did initially.

you've been with her for a year so this might be a good time to reflect on how far your relationship has progressed, and where you want it to go. if it doesn't seem to be going anywhere i would try to initiate a change and see where that goes. i would decide what to do with the relationship from there.

that's my opinion anyways

Have sex with her

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This. Obviously she was excited to show you, most likely did it as a surprise for you (and to feel better about herself, which is probably some other issue) and she got the opposite response. Not to say you didn't act rationally, because I agree that she shouldn't have scared the shit out of you like that, but she was upset you weren't happy for her. Talk it out, if she's reasonable she'll see your side and apologize and then you can choose whether or not you also want to apologize, up to you

Nice copypasta from reddit

How deep are you in the closet OP? I ask because I can’t think of a gayer thing than being angry at your gf for getting bigger tits. Would you have preferred that she get a cock for you to suck?

>That it's her body and she can do what she wants, that my opinion on it doesn't matter.
Remove gf from your life.

Its her body, not yours. She doesnt need to ask you permission for anything she wants to alter.
Also, its your relationship. If you dont like it, then you have the right to leave.

Also fyi, women who get breast implants have a significantly higher chance of suicide rate percentage. That rate doubles 10 yrs after surgery

Literally it doesn't.
You'd be back here the moment a girl says to shave your facial hair, get in good shape, and dress better or its over bitching about her "controlling you"

You don't suddenly control a person.
If they've changed too much from the person before then different values mean you can part, but you never have to consult someone else about your own body. I think she should have told op in advance at least, but advice for this situation is to tell her you should both cool down and talk in a day or two. Write your feelings down and discuss without arguing. Mature adults should be able to reach a resolution somehow.

>ohhhnoo boohoo my trust was abused

You're free to leave and pick up some incel approved damaged goods with daddy issues with no free will. Think there are lots of those in Eastern Europe

This, thanks. The fucking cheek of these assholes. As long as it was her money that she spent and there's no kids or familial situation this money could've been important too I don't see the problem. I'm trying to think of a direct analogy, say steroid usage and bulking up but that comes with mood swings, even then I'm reluctant to say hey you can't spend your money on roids.

Your mind on inceldom is actually reeeee woman do thing without my permission Where's my striking cane, by Allah she will know the consequences

Kill yourself

Okay bucky, now go hiking with a hot female friend and try to tell me your bitch doesn't reach boiling temperatures.
It's your money and your body, so you shouldn't even be obligated to tell her anything, after all.
Then start dressing up nicely and buying stupid shit.
You'll see how fast she turns into a raging bitch.

Get the fuck over it you shit stick. You've been *dating* for a year, not married for 10. She can do what she wants. You talk like she's stolen your money and ran off to get surgery in Bolivia. She wanted to surprise you and got shit done. If you don't like her independence then move on to a church girl who won't do anything without your permission. Otherwise tell her to give you a tit job and get over it,you fucking baby.

Wow, it's almost like talking with your girlfriend is more effective than running to a Mongolian Cheese Making board. Who would have thought you fucking mong.

She is free to whatever she wants, you are free to pack it up and call it quits. If communication is this troublesome it will probably get worse in the future if it doesn't get adressed. I don't like girls with fake breasts but you have to decide this one on your own.

Fake tits look awful. I'm going to get a tattoo of a horsecock on my chest as a surprise to my girlfriend. I expect to have a lasting relationship with her which one would assume would involve her having sex with me, but who cares about her preferences? Letting your partner know about these things -- at the absolute least -- is pretty basic for something so drastic. Happy to hear fake boobs aren't a dealbreaker to you but the lack of communication on this matter is a significant problem.

Imagine missing the point this hard, holy shit

/thread

hahaha you wish. why do you think fat old white dudes go all the way to south east asia these days?

If you have any brains, dump her immediately.

Forget the breast implants, the argument, and the secrecy. The shit she pulled with the hospital is enough to end any relationship over.

She was so wrapped up in wanting to suprise you she didnt consider that in not letting you know what was going on, she put you in extreme danger.

In your situation Id be pushing 100+ rushing to the hospital for a friend, let alone my gf. What if you got a ticket, or worse maimed or died? She was too wrapped into her own stupid fucking world to consider anyone elses feelings or the consequences.

If a lifelong friend pulled this shit Id drop them. A cunt youve been dating a year? Not even a second thought. Shes shown herself to be extremely childish and stupid with just that alone. Not worth it.