How do I stop getting hurt over petty things?

well this feeling probably won't go away then. I know you don't want to hear it now, but it's unlikely she'll be your only partner. When you move on to the next you'll be able to look back on this relationship as experience, which you currently lack given it's your first.

There's shit in your life that'd leave the same taste in her mouth I'd wager. Part of a relationship is swallowing that.

I'm not sure if I'll have another gf. She may be infatuated and obsessed, but I genuinely believe she wont leave me for an extremely prolonged period of time.

The only thing she has to relate to the feeling I get, is the fact I touched someone else, once or twice. It may be really fucked up of me, but I feel as if that's no where close to doing drugs and having sex, being drunk all the time and using people for her own pleasure. I never make her feel guilty about it but I can't shake this feeling off

Does she know you feel this way?

Yes, but then she starts to cry from it and other such emotions. Essentially ruining it. We've had in-depth conversations and it seems to just be all me.

so rather than having an in depth discussion she'll shut it down by crying? She does not sound emotionally stable

It's probably because I bring it up when its affecting me and she's feeling happy.

have you managed to have any sort of discussion about it at all?

What are are you two around, and how long have you been together user?

You mean be normal you just don't know it

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yea, but it only ends up with her beginning to cry, and her apologizing for all the stuff shes done. It just makes me feel guilty as fuck.
1st question reiterate please? It's about to be a year or so.

I've been where you are right now (and sometimes I relapse). I'm a girl and I saved my virginity for my current bf, who did not save. Now I look back on it, I did not "save" myself at all. It was just circumstance.

Anyway, I used to imagine all the wild things he'd done and I'd go crazy from jealousy or disgust. I used to ask myself, am I happy to be with someone who's been "used" up. Who's lived so much that the addition of me would be but a drop of rain in the ocean? Now I look back, him and I have done crazy things. We've had plenty of first experiences together. One day, I'll be his first wife, I'll bear his first children. I may not be his first love, but I'll try hard to be his last. I'll try to be the one who didn't break his heart in the end.

To this day, it still stings that he's had one night stands and he's done drugs and gotten drunk at parties. But at the end of the day, I think those thoughts look wilder in the mind than in reality.

Well it sucks that you guys can't have a proper conversation about it because it clearly bothers both of you deeply. Aren't you worried it'll fester and get worse if you don't talk?

>To this day, it still stings that he's had one night stands and he's done drugs and gotten drunk at parties. But at the end of the day, I think those thoughts look wilder in the mind than in reality.
Chad snags another! Not OP but doesn't this bother you? I could never live with it for my whole life, which you've apparently decided to do.

Thank you for sharing. Yea, It hurts. I try to take that into consideration, but the thoughts of her moaning to other men and other men inside of her completely destroy me. There are times where It doesn't seem to bother me at all, but these are becoming very frequent now.

Sort of afraid she'll find this thread since she uses Jow Forums alot.

He's shown good qualities. I've been reluctant to ask him about the one night stands but I know for a fact that he was loyal to his exes and they had long-lasting relationships which is a good sign. Yes, it hurts that he's had casual sex twice, that's why I haven't asked for details. And I don't even know if I have the right to inquire in the first place.

I was a virgin before I met him but I did exchange nudes with a stranger once. When I remembered that, I realised how much of a hypocrite I was. I don't think it's possible for anyone to be completely pure, even if they preach it (which I did).

He describes me as a milestone in his life. He loves me and is incredibly loyal. Why should I insist on the past when it can't be changed and when the future is so promising?

:) really trying to embody this mindeset rn.

mindeset* also OP here

>Why should I insist on the past when it can't be changed and when the future is so promising?
If you can work around it then good for you. I'm just trying to understand the mindset because I sit at the opposite end to you, I can't see myself ever dating some experience woman.
>When I remembered that, I realised how much of a hypocrite I was.
This bothers me too. I met up with a woman once and paid her to have sex because I was so desperate. It didn't happen because I freaked out but still it's a big stain on my past. I know I have no entitlement to a less experienced woman but these feelings are strong.

I know how much it hurts you, I do try to talk about it, be completely open and honest with you, everything you ask about my past, you told me not to spare your feelings and it’s really not as crazy as you probably make it up to be in your head.. it’s nothing to me but trauma, none of it means a thing to me.. but you mean more to me than anyone in my entire life, we have already had so so many firsts together, I mean.. so many I’ve never been so close to someone before, I had never been on dates, we’ve done so much already! you’re the best Goddamn thing to ever happen to me! I know that it stings and hope with time it will go away, but if it doesn’t fully go away that you’ll always look first at how much I love you and forget about the other thoughts, I know a time like that will come soon, I can’t wait for my life with you or rather OUR solo life to begin, Truly I adore you I’m obsessed with you, there are things in your past that hurt me, it doesn’t seem to upset me as much but we’ve talked about it I know that we are each other’s life now, I also do understand and empathize with how much it hurts you i want to be there for you in those situations but seeing you so hurt hurts me, and it isn’t your fault, but I’ve tried to suppress those traumatic memories i’ve told you about and it’s just you bring them up a lot- sorry this isn’t well written and i probably ended it on a bad note and there’s probably a lot of errors. But I love you and you are my life now.

Maybe you could change your mind by trying something new (just once, not a complete lifestyle change)? Something you could consider degenerate, outside of your comfort zone. Get wasted for a night, try a legal high or go clubbing with her. Or take viagra and have a night of sex. Maybe you'll see that you can't blame her for it, or that it's not as life-changing as expected.

My mindset changed when I gave my bf my virginity after 6 months. It was painful, scary and I and sex wasn't really mind-blowing most of the time. I stopped caring after that. Maybe I felt like I had become him lol.

I really feel for you user but don't fuck things up with your imagination. It seems like your romanticize her past more than your present. Nothing is better than the present. You have eachother and everything's still unwritten.

Are you religious or raised in a religious household?
My parents raised me to believe that I am a rose and I am waiting for the right man to come to pick me. Now, I see how objectifying it is to be compared to a trophy. Purity is a mostly a myth and there is usually a reasonable explanation behind 'degeneracy' and once you see the reasoning, you really can't blame anyone for being human. UNLESS of course you believe in a book of rules called the bible or whatever, in which case it would be complicated to debate with differing axioms.

Oh shit.

>Are you religious or raised in a religious household?
Not in the slightest. I believe these feelings are mostly due to my own insecurities, I don't want to be in a relationship where a woman has more experience than me ever. It gives her power and feels emasculating. I do have a way around this but it's probably worse than the feeling itself.

>I will never be her first
literally doesnt matter. It's more important to have sex with a person for the first time than just having it first time. Nobody knows about their future enough to save it for one person, any kind of divorce or breakup can happen.

>I had never been on dates
>but I did drugs
>and fucked random dudes
jesus no wonder he's insecure. OP you need to stop asking about her past it'll only kill your relationship further.

Shes a gross slut. That feeling is thousands of years of biology telling you that she is not fit for breeding or raising a child. She will be your cock sleeve for now, until you find a woman who is actually worth marrying.

She isn't a gross slut. :( I really love her. Thats like saying you smoked weed once or twice, now you're a druggie.

shes your first, right?

you called her a druggie in your opening post. I got the impression she was a bit promiscuous too.

yes

I did not call my gf a druggie. I said she has done drugs and alcohol, I would not refer to her as a druggie. Not to mention, she has been sober for quite some time now.