Whoreish boyfriend

He’s had sex with 1 other girl and that’s all you need to know. shut the fuck up and either accept it or let your mind create more bullshit to worry yourself with. Leave it be.

There are some things you can't compromise on in a relationship, and that's something you'll have to learn to deal with or move on. Eventually you're not gonna have a relationship if you keep nagging him about this topic. There's no point in return once your significant other is tired of your shit & doesn't give a fuck anymore

You dumb fuck he said he’s love me millions of times and regrets dating his ex, he waited till he dated her and 3 months in they did it. Has nothing to do with typical whoreish male behavior.

I don’t know if he’s don’t other intimate things because he doesn’t want me to ask anymore but I need to know

>or let your mind create more bullshit to worry yourself with. Leave it be.
this most likely

I’m not looking for a moral lesson here I’m looking for advice on how to manipulate him into telling me these things. Or instead, convincing him.

I have too much anxiety to let these questions go, he’s great now to me, but I need to know his past actions.

He's gonna leave you if you can't get past this you know

You sound really mean and controlling. Don't let your fears make you a bad person. He's with you now, maybe if you relaxed a bit instead of interrogating him like the fucking inquisition he'd open up to you.

red flags popping up like crazy, leave him the fuck alone he already gave you a straight answer schizo. 1. That means one, and you are very clearly making him uncomfortable by not believing him and asking him for a more specific number. Thats the advice, leave him alone, you got your answer. While your at it go see a psychologist.

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How many people have YOU had sex with? Do you want someone who has had as little sex as possible? Virgin men are a diamond dozen

>a diamond dozen

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I remember my ex pestering me about mu sexual history. I told her i slept with 30 girls before (I lied, it was much higher) and even though she said it wouldn’t matter what number i had, she of course had a problem with it. I broke up with her shortly after as no girl is worth that dumb drama.

>a diamond dozen

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I’m glad you guys broke it off I will never handle that much stress over a guy whoring around. How can she believe and trust you when you’ve been whoring around.

I don’t know how to make it seem like I’m not interrogating him and let him talk to me about it

Guys always bitch about girls being thots but it seems like you were one as well. I have same expectations for both genders. I really don’t give a shit what other people do but since he’s my boyfriend I care a lot.

again, am not looking for moral shit, am looking to convince him or somehow lead him into telling me his past activities. I have no desire to drug him. I want to make sure he's sober when he tells me shit.

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It's not moral shit. It's how humans work. I guarantee if you drop it (REALLY drop it) after some time he'll open up, but when people start to close up then the more you ask the worse it gets. Trust me I've been in your position with my ex gf

I can try to really drop it for now and ask later. How much time do you recommend is a good amount.

Did this and it didn't work, he just pretended nothing ever happened. Don't recommend OP.
Since he's not a virgin just assume he's done every sex thing and more, and def more than you.

He wouldn't lie to me about this stuff, but he's a pain in the ass about leaving things out that I should have known. I only recently found out he had sent nudes to so many other girls and weve been dating for almost 2 years. I should have known this much sooner.

>Virgin men are a diamond dozen

That might be true but for all intensive purposes it can be hard to find one. And when you do there may be competition because it's a doggy dog world out there. But I could less how many someone has slept with and I wouldn't want to here about it

To me, I care about it

All you need to know is if he has kids or not and if he has a clean STD test. Everything else is just your anxiety. Keep on this and you'll kill your relationship.

I can move on once I find these things out but for now it bugs me hard core that I don't know this stuff. He felt interrogated which I understand how I made it seem that way. I don't know how to ask about this stuff in a nice way or casually.

You sound entitled and vaguely abusive.

If I offered to let you punch me in the face, would that give me the right to punch you in the face? You know it doesn't work like that. You're anxious, maybe a little jealous and judgmental, and you're hounding him because you cannot contain yourself.

In short, you're acting like every half bright incel on here.

Why does it matter?

You don't know what might be wrong with it. Maybe he's ashamed, maybe the memories are painful, maybe he's worried you'll keep acting like you're acting, maybe he's dug in his heels on principle because you wouldn't take no for an answer.

Also, the "bending over to the other's wishes" shit doesn't fly here. You're not bending, you're reaching for justification.

If this is how aggressive you are with him you're going to burn this relationship to the ground and its going to be your fault.

Again, why do you need to know? What could that information possibly do for you?

Ahh, yes, because manipulating someone to assuage an irrational anxiety is the root of any healthy, successful relationship.

Thats a problem for a shrink, not your partner.

Ahh, so there it is. You want to be able to hold his past against him. You don't want to "move past it" you want ammunition for the next time you try to be controlling so you can say "I can't trust you to go out with your friends instead of being here with me because Jimmy's bar is where you got blown by All in the bathroom in 1986." He's got your number.

Because you're interrogating him and he appears to be neither stupid nor so afraid of being alone that he'll submit. He's setting a boundary, this is a test, you're failing.

You care a lot about what he's done, more than about what he is doing. Thats a problem.

Until he independently opens up to you, probably a piece at a time over years.

I want to know what he's like in his past. He's like really great to me now except for some things that piss me off. I would like to get over his past and move on from it but I can't when there are things left unanswered.
I don't plan on using it against him, he has given me no reason to not trust him now.

Try appreciate that its a tricky situation for him. A lose-lose of sorts.
Either:
Its a high number - he risks offending you and cheapening a relationship he has invested emotion in because you might read into it and criticise him for being a 'whore'.
Its a low number - Men have a kind of social expectation to fuck as many girls as possible, as their number reflects how valuable they are to women. Women can fuck alot easier than men and therefore this principle doesnt apply. Furthermore, and crucially here, women are heavily influenced on what other women think about certain guys (pre-selection). If a guy is considered atttactive to lots of women, others will subconciously agree. If hes only fucked 2 or 3 girls, he might be nervous that you may feel there is a reason for this.

Compromise is usually a vital part of relationships. If he's told you some, but not all of it, then ask yourself if you really need to know everything?

If you reverse the situation, and he really wanted to know something about you, but it didn't have any current effect on your relationship, would you feel like you have to tell him?

It's not neccessarily a case of him telling you everything, it's the fact that he doesn't want to, and has already told you some of it. If you can't both find a compromise, there's going to be much more difficult situations in the future which you both won't be able to agree on.

ditch the worthless manwhore

if genders were reversed in your thread everyone would shit 'her' too

If the roles were reversed it would still be a man lmao you're dense

Maybe he already told you the whole truth and you're over thinking op

He’s only did one girl which I can deal with, but he’s sent naked pics of himself to other girls I’d like to know how many,
He knows I don’t like the idea of him sending many pics like this to other girls.

Nah there’s still more I haven’t asked about because I had recently found out more info that I didn’t know about before

He's pretty much a worthless mawhore if he's sent pics of himself to others. Think about all the trouble you'd get yourself into if you end up with a guy like this femanon it's absolutely not worth it. He might get blackmailed over the Internet for money or even by the people he sent those pictures to into having sex with them.
It's absolutely not worth your time ditch the manwhore

This is the truth. ANYONE who has sent nudes is worthless because there's another person in the world who has them permanently by the balls.

>implying that everyone has the sense of shame you do

I have a security clearance and there are numerous videos on youtube of me drunk, on stage, saying inflammatory shit. A photo of my dick wouldn't be on the top of anyone's "shit to be worried about" list for me. If you've got worth, confidence, and an unwillingness to be ashamed nobody can ever have shit on you.

Well of course if you're a shameless pleb it doesn't matter.

In which Jow Forums fails to realize that all bait needs to do to succeed is get a (You) and (You) all keep amply providing.

Realistically if OP existed and had intentions to change, she'd probably visit... ooh, anyone who knew the two of them instead of Jow Forums.

C'mon guys, let OP and her shitty bait fuck off.

If I wanted to use something as bait it wouldn’t be this, this issue isn’t spicy enough to be bait

Well sounds like you’ve been way shittier than my bf lol

So you plan on having things to use against him when you have a reason to not trust him. Ok.

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ive always wondered if the only real way to get past a security clearance is to pretty much demonstrate that you give no fucks about fapping to traps or whatever and at your interview you basically flip out your phone and casually let your mother in law know you've been fucking your wifes sister and a midget tranny at the same time to impress the intelligence agency guys about how you'd never be a blackmail liability

well..

i better start finding a wife with a sister for starters

I’m not planning to use it against him it bothers me that there’s something I don’t know that would bother me in his past that I’m critical of because I already hate guys who are slutty and it hurts that he was once like this.

I’ve already thought about dumping him many times because of his past but that’s because I was very angry and hurt at the time and I thought that if I really did want to break up with him it’d still be when I was calmer too. But when I’m calm I don’t feel like breaking up I care about him too much.

You can remember things better when reinacting them, keketi.

If you're judging him before even asking, he has a reason to not tell you.

I am single its not bad. Find another you can do it.

Why do you want to know? Why do you need to know? What gives you the right to know? The past is the past, and if you weren't part of it then it's none of your business. If he isn't willing to speak about it then respect that.

I suggest talking to someone about your anxiety if you care about this relationship, or you will fuck it up.

OP is a psycho, i hope he dumps her

He's probably keeping her at arm's length BECAUSE she cray cray.

It's the past. He can't change it. Who cares as long as it wasn't too extreme (like infidelities). He probably won't bring it up because you're being hostile about it. If you ask him about his past casually, like it's a memory that's just come and gone (which it is), then maybe you can both benefit. Like you would ask someone if they've seen x movie before. Don't take it too seriously.

t. girl, used to be like you. I don't know everything but I've stopped caring

This thread is what mental illness looks like

Yeah he felt attacked about it, he told me we’d talk about it again so I’ll just ask him then but it a nice way

You wish but he loves me too much to see me go. And I love him too. I know I can be shitty to him sometimes and am trying to improve my other bad behaviors.

>because of his past
What past you just mentioned that you don't know of his past

I pretty much know what happened but there’s still more questions I have for specific things

Depends on your perspective, I suppose. I mean, I've been married for over a decade and with my wife for over two, I do work that matters, people trust me because I'm trustworthy, and people pay me well for it. I guess none of that would much matter if you value appearances over substance or if you want someone to conform to your desires rather than be their own person.

Still, seems like you're the kind of person who misses out on the good whiskey and the better stories because you didn't like an off color joke so you left the party early. Takes all kinds.

Thats pretty much it. A clearance is looking for whether or not you're able to keep your mouth shut. The two big vulnerabilities are whether you like to run your mouth about things you shouldn't and whether you have things that would make you subject to pressure. Most people who fuck up don't do it for the love of China, they do it because they're behind on their bills or in the closet. They literally don't care if you like going to leather bars to get fucked by random dudes so long as you don't care. Blackmail only works if the target cares.

so you've been married to your wife for only 2 years? I'm not understanding what your messages mean at all.

I'm not with my bf currently right now bc distance so we haven't had much contact and I had time to think a lot. And I STRONGLY disapprove of his past actions. But regardless of his history he's been great and loving and sweet to me.

also sorry to tell you this, but I have different beliefs in what I think is important so none of what you said has impressed me at all or changed my mind about anything.

having a job has nothing to do with my situation.

Two decades. Twenty years. Its not complicated.

Look, I get that you're trying to find some kind of advantage here but I'm plenty confident in my written communication skills.

That said, it seems like you're looking for an argument. If your conduct in this thread is indicative of your general conduct, you need to consider that maybe the problem isn't his past. You're perseverating over moral judgements of past actions, you're anxious and angry about things that aren't an issue other than in your head, you're risking blowing up what sounds like a good relationship over your issues. Book some time on a couch, the alternative is being unhappy like this forever.

Seriously, look at what you're doing. Other people are consistently telling you that your behavior is abnormal and irrational, your boyfriend feels attacked and is avoiding the subject. The kinds of people who are going to put up with this are people who will lie to you or people who's boundaries and self worth are so poor they'll have no problem being completely submissive. Thats not a good life.

Why would you be sorry? I'm just some guy on Jow Forums.

My point is that your beliefs about what is important appear to be less rooted in deeply held moral beliefs than in anxiety. Think about what I'm saying or not, but I don't really have a horse in this race aside from wanting folks to be better.

Of course I'm gonna be mad over things he did I feel aren't morally right.
I just hate thinking about how such an awesome guy now had done such things in his past. I have been saving myself privately for someone special all my life and it feels worthless now that he just went out and did it without a second thought. And that he's said he doesn't care for what I did in the past.

I recognize that me being angry and hurt about what he did isn't productive or doesn't do anyone any good but it's hard dealing with these emotions about it.

My sole purpose right now is to know the history and then move on from it.

OP sounds like a larp but generally if she isn't I seriously feel bad for the guy she's with. There's very few good reasons why a woman would be that incessant about learning about her partner's sexual past because it's almost always an excuse to start a fight because of her jealousy and insecurity.

Why be with someone if agency over their own life isn't something you want them to have...?
Like if you just want someone who fits exacting criteria just get a sex doll, the point of dating humans is to experience dynamics and differences-- otherwise just arrange an emotional sponge or a fuckbuddy and spare someone the heartbreak of finding out you're a controlling partner.

Do you unironically think your behavior is good, okay or acceptable in a relationship?

>Why be with someone if agency over their own life isn't something you want them to have...?
I have no idea what is meant by this. He can do what he wants now. I don't approve of what he's done in the past. I never restrict him of anything now, he goes and does as he pleases.

>Like if you just want someone who fits exacting criteria just get a sex doll, the point of dating humans is to experience dynamics and differences-- otherwise just arrange an emotional sponge or a fuckbuddy and spare someone the heartbreak of finding out you're a controlling partner.
I do not want a fuckbuddy, we have many differences like in politics. I disagree with some stuff he says but don't care enough about it. I like him as he is now. I'm greatly disappointed in his past actions. He's been with me for almost two years so he already knows how anxious I can get. I'm in no way controlling in other aspects. The only thing remotely controlling is that I like to know where he is, which isn't a big deal, but it brings comfort to me and he doesn't mind telling me.

>Do you unironically think your behavior is good, okay or acceptable in a relationship?
I think that it's okay for me to ask these things and I'm right in feeling hurt by this.
I understand the right thing to do is move on from it. But I just can't control or deal with my thoughts so easily.

>OP sounds like a larp but generally if she isn't I seriously feel bad for the guy she's with. There's very few good reasons why a woman would be that incessant about learning about her partner's sexual past because it's almost always an excuse to start a fight because of her jealousy and insecurity.

I'm actually not jealous of the girls. Not sure if I'm insecure about it. I'm more annoyed and disappointed in his actions that he'd go out and do things "just cause he was horny" because that's what cheaters do. Although I have no doubt at all that he'll cheat on me because I know how much he cares for me.
I'm not trying to start a fight.

You're wrong in feeling hurt by this and if seventy posts can't convince you then maybe your man getting tired to fuck of your neuroses will send the message.

Get over it and get over yourself you self-important waste of a perfectly functioning vagina.

>He can do what he wants now. I don't approve of what he's done in the past.

Then why does the knowledge of what happened before matter?

>I like him as he is now
Again, if that is true, why care about before?

>he already knows how anxious I can get
That grows. This is it growing.

>I think that it's okay for me to ask these things and I'm right in feeling hurt by this.
That would be an abnormal pair of beliefs.

>But I just can't control or deal with my thoughts so easily.
The answer to that isn't to disrespect the agency of others and dissolve boundaries by asking for accommodations. The answer is to work on your anxiety.

>You're wrong in feeling hurt by this and if seventy posts can't convince you then maybe your man getting tired to fuck of your neuroses will send the message.
where's your girl at lmao. He said he feels bad that his actions hurt me.

>Get over it and get over yourself you self-important waste of a perfectly functioning vagina
you really have a shitty view of women don't you haha.
why u being a bitch lmao
we're gonna talk through this calmly and resolve it and you're gonna be stuck objectifying women and being in a shitty place. I feel bad for you.

>because that's what cheaters do
Its also what horny singles and inexperienced people do.

This is what everyone means by insecurity. You're probing because you're afraid he's not the man you thought he was and you're worried that his past actions mean he's going to cheat. All the moralizing and posturing are cover, the core here is that his dick pics and blowjobs back in the day mean he's likely to cheat on you. The distance between you, and his retreat from your questions, increases this anxiety.

>Although I have no doubt at all that he'll cheat on me because I know how much he cares for me.

If that was true you wouldn't have tossed in the "that's what cheaters do." You're trying to explain away the cognitive dissonance. Rent yourself some time on a couch. Things will be better for you, him, and your relationship.

We both know OP is either baiting or BPD and won't do shit

Not the guy you're responding to but...

>He said he feels bad that his actions hurt me.
Sure, because he cares about you and doesn't want to see you in pain. What you're missing here is that your anxiety, which cannot be his fault because its over something that happened before he met you, is causing him distress. Your anxiety is getting in the way of your ability to empathize with someone you seem to really care about.

>Then why does the knowledge of what happened before matter?
I like knowing the full story and being able to replay it in my head when I feel like it, then get hurt, then try to get over it again.

Again, if that is true, why care about before?
> I care about before because it hurts me to think he was shitty before.

>I think that it's okay for me to ask these things and I'm right in feeling hurt by this.
>That would be an abnormal pair of beliefs.
I can't agree with you here

>But I just can't control or deal with my thoughts so easily.
>The answer to that isn't to disrespect the agency of others and dissolve boundaries by asking for accommodations. The answer is to work on your anxiety.
shits hard, can't afford a therapist

Not the guy you're responding to but...

>He said he feels bad that his actions hurt me.
Sure, because he cares about you and doesn't want to see you in pain. What you're missing here is that your anxiety, which cannot be his fault because its over something that happened before he met you, is causing him distress. Your anxiety is getting in the way of your ability to empathize with someone you seem to really care about.

I feel like hes responsible for helping me get through these emotions, or maybe not responsible, but at least try to help me out. He made it seem like he didn't care how his past actions affected me and that hurt a lot. I do feel bad for causing him so much pain for being mean to him about this. Am being respectful about it now and will ask stuff in a nice way.

>I like knowing the full story and being able to replay it in my head when I feel like it, then get hurt, then try to get over it again.

I went through my 20s liking getting in fights in bars because physical dominance pushed my anxiety back for a little bit and pain at least meant feeling something. Liking it didn't make it healthy.

>shits hard, can't afford a therapist
Thats real. Thing is, you don't seem like an idiot so you can try working through this on your own until things get better. Thats going to require you push past the rationalizations and justifications, though.

Your hurt is yours, not his. The responsibility for it, and the only way to sooth it, is going to come from you. There is literally no answer he could give you thats going to satisfy whats going on in your head. Even if he tells you what you want, you'll run it again, the anxiety will come back, and you'll ask all over again. At some point somethings going to break. Maybe it will be you becoming convinced he's cheating or not being able to be with someone with his history. Maybe it will be him leaving. Maybe it will just be the relationship slowly souring as the resentment builds on both sides.

Do better.

You're a stupid cunt, lol.
You're acting like your bf should haven known that he'd end up with you, and that he should've avoided fucking some hot chicks and eating their assholes like sunday lunch.
Just because you're offended doesn't mean he doesn't have the right to fuck sluts.
Fuck that noise, he doesn't have to tell you shit.

>You're a stupid cunt, lol.
You're acting like your bf should haven known that he'd end up with you, and that he should've avoided fucking some hot chicks and eating their assholes like sunday lunch.
Just because you're offended doesn't mean he doesn't have the right to fuck sluts.
Fuck that noise, he doesn't have to tell you shit.

Well, he's already told me a fuckton about his past so he might as well tell me the full story lol
I've already accepted that it he didn't know me back then so I can't do anything about it.
My point is to learn what else he did.
I don't see you having a wonderful relationship with that shitty attitude, ya cunt, lol.
He's only fucked his ex gf lol.

He's not obligated to tell you anything, mate.
He tells you only as much as he wants. Don't push the fucking line.
You're just fishing for drama.

t. married, but not delusional like (You)

You remind me of my gf. Same exact complaint from her. Problem is I actually don't have much of anything to tell her about my past, but she refuses to believe me. At this point I just go along with it and pretend I'm hiding something because it's funny to see her get mad. Maybe your boyfriend is doing the same thing.

>too extreme (like infidelities)

I’ve cheated on gfs in the past. My gf never even asked, said she doesn’t even want to think about me having been with other women.

Y’all are crazy.

>I like knowing the full story and being able to replay it in my head when I feel like it, then get hurt, then try to get over it again.

You’re a masochist, OP. This is literal insane behavior. This is not normal. You should focus on fixing this before anything else.

You remind me of my gf. Same exact complaint from her. Problem is I actually don't have much of anything to tell her about my past, but she refuses to believe me. At this point I just go along with it and pretend I'm hiding something because it's funny to see her get mad. Maybe your boyfriend is doing the same thing.

I trust him fully, he wouldn't lie to me about this stuff. I have no reason he's doing this on purpose to make me mad. He said he has nothing to hide.

update
he agreed that if it was bothering me so much we could talk about it again. Hope I don't fuck this up.

Whatever his past actives are made him the guy you want to fuck today so stop harassing him about it.
Actually, keep pestering him. I hope he tells you, and you can't take it and leave. That's what you want right? WTF is wrong with girls?

>all intensive purposes
Well played

>Whatever his past actives are made him the guy you want to fuck today so stop harassing him about it.
>Actually, keep pestering him. I hope he tells you, and you can't take it and leave. That's what you want right? WTF is wrong with girls?

I'd rather he shared all of those experiences with me, even with the awkward parts
My intention was to use it for myself, not to break up with him over this, that'd be dumb.

>use it for myself

Seriously, even if he tells you everything, still seek help. Seriously. That is not normal or healthy in the slightest.