My mother died

I had lost my father already when I lost my mother and I have no siblings or other close family members that are competent. Grandparents too old to do stuff, aunt clinically crazy.
So I had to arrange the funeral, all the inheritance bullcrap, and it's ALOT of fucking bullcrap in my shithole.
And then I just kept doing stuff I always wanted to do, just because.

By comparisson, when I lost my dad, i spent that summer tucked inside playing MMOs all day every day.

Everybody will go through this pain sooner or later. What i'm feeling can't be described but i also can't imagine what you went through, which is far more what i'm going through now.
I couldn't help you through your tough times, but if this brings you some joy and comfort, know your experience and strength is helping me now.
And for that all i can say to you is: thank you

Do whatever your heart tells you to do, even if it is nothing. This is one of the few cases in which however you are moved to respond is right.

I lost my mother a year ago now
Be strong and let that be a reason to be better for your loved ones and everyone else
It does get better

Thank you

I know you're going through a pretty tough time right now but you have to keep busy.Don't spend all day lying in bed,being depressed and pitying yourself. Go out with your friends,spend time on your hobbies and eventually you will feel much better. Your mom is in a better place right now. I don't know what your religion is but I'm Muslim and I'll pray for you and your mother

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It's so hard, everything makes me think of her. Seeing my father lost. Being incapable of comfort him and my brother while still feeling such agony myself. But you are right, you all are right. I'll just need to remain strong and fight my way through this chapter of my life.

But it hurts. It feels like the pain will never ease.

And thank you, thank you for your kind words

This is my biggest fear, OP

I don't know if I deserve these words user.
At the time, I went numb. Both times, my main coping mechanic has been to go numb and just go do stuff I enjoy or have always dreamed about, such as buying my realistic dream car.
Even to this day, thinking back to my parents, I don't really feel all that much. I guess that's my actual coping mechanic, to just go numb and throw all feeling out the window. I feel kinda guilty about it actually.

It's ok to reach out and get help from a professional. I'm sorry for your loss, OP.

Death of a loved one, especially someone that close to you is tough. Sometimes to the point where the pain is unbearable. But there isn't anything you can truly do to make the pain go away right away. You will be hurting for a while, but what might bring you some comfort is doing the things your mother and you always used to do, whether it's something like cooking a certain meal, going to a certain place, or even watching her favourite film. Whatever you do don't turn to drugs to dull the pain, have a few drinks if you must but don't overdo it. Going down that road will result in nothing good. Take comfort in the fact that your mother loved you and she probably would not want you to self destruct or drown in sadness. But it's normal to feel lost, hopeless and in pain. You might also benefit from seeing a grief counselor eventually. I'm hoping for the best for you OP, I hope you find comfort and move past this ok. Take care.

>related to OP's plight

when i was 20 my dad died during my first tour in Iraq, 2006.
sometimes I'll remember him fondly, sometimes I'll hate him for not getting treatment and effectively ending his life earlier than I would have wanted. eventually I came to terms with his being gone and accepting that the only thing you can do about the past is learn from it.

it may be shitty to hear right now, but that "time heals all wounds" cliche is true.

I'm feeling that way. Maybe from all the crying, drinking, funeral, being unable to have a well rested night, getting to bed in tears, waking up with tears, this emotional punch i take every second.
I just want to disconect.

That's what i tell to my dad, to my brother. What others tell to me and what i tell to myself.
And i understand time eases the pain.
But even knowing that, it doesn't make the pain easier to tolerate

My mother died without any warning, all of a sudden. She was a domestic worker, and would often work all by herself with no one else in the home with her. The lady she used to work for found her on the floor already gone. I actually got a call from my mother's phone telling me she died caused that lady grabbed her phone and called for the most recent number my mother called.
My number

I'm sure it hurts now that she's gone, and you'll hear a lot of "I'm sorry for your loss" like I hear "thank you for your service" but that's how it goes. You'll probably have an empty place in your life for a long time, all the "i wish i had told her this/we had done that" but you can't now and dwelling on it does nothing. Again; remember the good times, accept the bad times, know that it happened and you can't change it.

It will hurt less, eventually.

I’m so sorry user this must be impossibly difficult for you, remember that no matter what, that we love you and support you.

that's pretty fucking hardcore. I just wish to see my mom die of old age rather than of some medical complications now. I sometimes think about my mother death (she is still alive) and it always gets me into depression and sadness so big im choking and the tears run from my eyes she is till fucking alive and i am like this just to thinking about it. I probably will kill myself when she will die.