Turns out my long distance girlfriend of nearly half a year is married and constantly lied to me when she was "out with...

Long distance relationships aren't real relationships.

That's not great advice imo.
How is OP going to get emotional closure and stability from a spite duel on social media
Confronting her would probably be very painful for you both, but if you're looking for emotional closure then it's the only way. Try to do it without being accusatory.
No I don't mean she hasn't done anything wrong or that you should be nice, she obviously has seriously wronged you, but I mean that it's useless to start shitflinging for no reason, just say the facts, how you feel, and see how she reacts.

My larger suggestion was to embrace whatever ammo she has
Emotional closure isn't really going to happen other than him admitting she was a shit-tier human and he chose poorly, and that LDRs are fucking hokey to begin with; like this is 100% his problem here and ghosting to never look back is all he's got.

At best he could glean satisfaction in spiting her by outing her to her husband. But more than that I'd just fuck off, since the husband probably won't listen anyway.

Brewing more conflict is just an awful idea.

Hence "emotional closure will likely have to come within" and "just ghosting"
He will have much more success turning away from all of this given the volatile nature of all components

>What does she know about you that u don’t want on social media?
Kinks. And things I shouldn't have revealed in written communication, but I trusted her too much.

>Long distance relationships aren't real relationships.
Yeah, in retrospect I feel beta and pathetic that I considered it as a relationship in the first place. I was an emotional validation whore.

>My advice is to be ready to wear your sins at any time, and thus nobody can kill your image with it.
This is really good advice and a tactic I need to utilize in life. Be like Eminem in 8 Mile and think of ways to spin my sins in a humorous way and get the "crowd" on my side.

>Confronting her would probably be very painful for you both, but if you're looking for emotional closure then it's the only way...it's useless to start shitflinging for no reason, just say the facts, how you feel, and see how she reacts.
I have a hard time calling her out on having a husband at all. What if I do so, then she tells me they're actually separated and remained friends, then spins it around how I cannot trust her and we should stop talking, then she's the one that ends it and gets the social upper hand. I realize it doesn't matter, but I would feel stupid afterwards.

I feel like I'm trying to avoid conflict and it hurts me to have to remove her from my life. Every single time I romantically get involved with a woman and genuinely befriend them, I end up cutting them out of my life. They're emotionally manipulating and lying to me, even if by omission. Using me to validate them when their relationship is on the rocks. I'm not a nice guy, but I think I'm a good guy that is too naive.

If she gets uppity, I'd namedrop her husband's name in the conversation though without an outright threat, just to show my hand.

>Emotional closure isn't really going to happen other than him admitting she was a shit-tier human and he chose poorly, and that LDRs are fucking hokey to begin with; like this is 100% his problem here and ghosting to never look back is all he's got. But more than that I'd just fuck off, since the husband probably won't listen anyway.
I see your point. I did choose poorly and investing so much time in an imaginary relationship was a waste of time. I don't have it in me to call her a shit-tier human being because that would cause her to hurl hurtful things at me. She made me feel good, complimented me a lot and was very sexual with me (as much as possible over the internet) but there were days where I thought she was lying about things. And I chose to ignore it. What a shit day.

> What if I do so, then she tells me they're actually separated and remained friends, then spins it around how I cannot trust her and we should stop talking, then she's the one that ends it and gets the social upper hand.
If she is the type to do that, then you'd better walk away very very fast.

>Talking to her for closure
My stance is talking to her got here and you know all you need, she's a liar about a marriage. Just fucking sit, sit in an empty room or a room with no goddamn TV/phone/PC screens, and just think.

Think about that. The kind of moral fabric, the kind of lack of character, the kind of cavalier approach to "I'll play two guys at once."

Why keep talking to that? Walk out the door, peace, don't look back. It's not like she's gonna have some special answer that knocks your socks off, at best you'll find she's fucked in the head and shouldn't probably be married.

Confront THEN ghost. Don't let this bitch get off scott free. She needs to know that she's trash and a bad person. Her husband should also know that she's fucking around behind his back while he's at work all day and bringing home the money she lives off of. Ruin her then vanish like mist.

She's the type that would do that. One day she said no to spending time together, I went quiet and ended our phone call by wishing her a rest of a good day, then text blasted me saying I was very aggressive about the way I wouldn't take no for an answer and she's very annoyed at my reaction. When that happened, my first instinct was to think "God damn, I'm glad we're not living close to each other. People would think I raped her or something if they read that text of hers". Red flags. Red flags everywhere.

>Why keep talking to that? It's not like she's gonna have some special answer that knocks your socks off, at best you'll find she's fucked in the head and shouldn't probably be married.
Thank you user. Solid advice. I will ruminate over this relationship and then ghost her tonight. She wanted to talk about us moving together, having children, and being married (told her thought that might be a "bit" too early). When I asked her what quality she prizes most from a boyfriend? Loyalty. Ironic.

>Her husband should also know that she's fucking around behind his back while he's at work all day and bringing home the money she lives off of.

>Ruin her then vanish like mist.
lol, if she didn't know personal information about me, I could certainly entertain this. I have a friend who also had the same thing happen to him like eight years ago, but went more off the rails. Girl pretended to be his girlfriend, talks of marriage, trips to Disney Land, paying for holidays gifts, then girl turns out to live in a different state and an online dating profile showing to be single. Glad at least this didn't go that far. Invested $0 into this.

I think the husband is in the military, from the intel I've gathered.

Ghost her and never let her why. It will make her crazy wondering what happened if she even cared.

I would try to get a hold of the husband. Send him the texts you exchanged with his wife. Tell him everything you've told us and more. Let him deal with this. Then just sit back and watch the fire works.

>Ghost her and never let her why. It will make her crazy wondering what happened if she even cared.
Another one for ghosting. I'm pretty sure she cared about me a lot. Or maybe not, considering she even lied about her age (possibly so I can't find her). It's hard to imagine her not being in my daily routine. Good morning texts and whatnot. I realize I got addicted to those good-feel unpredictable notifications.

I will only do this now if she decides to cause trouble for me professionally, instead of gracefully leaving me alone.

You a good fella, OP. Better than me. I'd want to know my wife was fucking around, but it's your choice. Good luck man.

I've opted for psychological warfare. I referenced an inside joke and essentially told her in less than five words that the reason I have ghosted her may or may not reveal itself shortly. Satisfies my need to tell her I caught her lies and my revenge as she might fret over what I might have meant by reading into my words, which she is prone to do. That suspense!

Thank you to you and every other user who took time to give me advice.

Attached: index.png (211x239, 10K)

im curious- did you ever meet this girl IRL or was it purely a long distance thing from the start?

>try to think of petty revenge, it will make you feel better
good lord this board really is god awful for advice

is she hot? fuck her as a friend while pursuing other women for more serious relationships. why ruin a potentially good thing? fucking hell you guys come on

Attached: 1461390858331.jpg (720x540, 25K)

I’m already ghosting her. I don’t feel hurt anymore, just wish I didn’t give her the benefit of the doubt. Months ago I called her out and said I think she’s attached and living with her boyfriend or husband. She of course denied it and got pissed at me. There were signs, such as owning a large two-level well furnished house yet making $12 an hour. Thought she was living with her parents, since spent so much time with them, but was embarrassed about it. Male hamstering.

The previous girl I talked with would get pissed at me when I said she’s living with her boyfriend (she was). Here’s a tip to anons: if you accuse a woman of cheating or lying and the first thing she does isn’t “how could I prove you that I am not” but instead getting angry she’s likely lying or doesn’t care about you.

It was long distance from the start but I did see her on video often.

She was hot to me, but around my looks level. Her husband looks almost exactly like me. I’m not paying for an airline ticket to fuck a married liar. Might as well get an escort at that point.

>paying for an airline ticket to fuck a
i mean i probably would. get her to spend a week with you and fuck her 3 times a day. fill her stomach with jizz before she goes back to her husband. cool

i would at least keep sexting her for my own enjoyment

Look on the bright side, at least you're not married to the whore so she can't steal half your money. You weren't tricked and cheated that hard.

I've had women in relationships obviously flirt with me before and I always feel worse for their boyfriends. I mean at least I know up front they're sluts so aren't relationship material.

Bit expensive don’t you think? You would have to pay for a hotel as well. Assuming she would even show up to greet you at the airport and not have a “family emergency” the last second.

Thought about it, but the sexting and phone sex wasn’t all that mindblowing. She tried, but not worth the effort of asking about her day, knowing full well she will be lying anyway.

I don’t think I will ever want to get married after this. Already had no motivation for marriage since it would remove all my power (being able to walk away like I am doing right now). After I find out someone is married or have a boyfriend, they can fuck right off with the good morning texts and other relationship perks. I feel for the husband though for trusting his wife.

no, id fly her to me. fuck going to her that's dumb. unless she lives in Indonesia because id be screwing around with or without her in that case

So it appears she blocked me. Didn't take her more than six hours to want to completely disappear after I referenced an inside joke that you could read a different meaning into if, and only if, you're guilty about something. I almost feel like contacting the husband that he's been emotionally cheated on along with evidence. Why let her off scot-free after all? Will see.

>no, id fly her to me. fuck going to her that's dumb.
Buy her tickets and then cancel and get a refund on the return ticket after smashing? At a hotel 100 miles from your home, of course.

Contact her husband. Let him know what he's in for and make sure the whore doesn't get away with it. Just because you leave her won't mean she'll stop and her man has a right to know of her actions.

So how should I go about this? Send a feeler message that gets him curious first, like "Hey [name], do you know someone named [wife name]?" or should I hammer out a paragraph already assuming it?

I need to find his cell phone number or contact him through LinkedIn because I don't want my real Facebook account involved on the off chance they're the type of couple that have each other's login information and she will see the message first.

I would say write a paragraph in advance explaining exactly what she did with plenty of little details he can pull up to her to leave her very little room for denial. Make sure to tell him you're hurt and would have never done anything with his wife if you had known she was married. Attach any photos she sent you as a bonus.

lmao op did her name start with M because if so i have a fucking story for you

Good idea on telling him that I wouldn't have done anything with his wife if I knew and that I'm hurt. Have to get him on my side first. I will wait two weeks to give her that false sense of security that she got away with this so cleanly then I will drop the bomb.

M? One letter off. I would still enjoy hearing the story though.

>Never again.
amen, brother
now go get an actual girlfriend

>I almost feel like contacting the husband
don't be a prick. her relationship probably sucks and you helped her fill an emotional need. she blocked you so cease contact

Maybe I'm just older. But why the fuck would anyone expect honest in a long distance relationship. Why would anyone bother?

Desperation, hombre
When you feel your options have petered out, it's a tempting one-- combine your lurking in the internet with actual affection and most people figure it's the best thing since sliced bread

Personally my stance has been, it's great to get their lewds, but otherwise they're just gonna go up in a puff of smoke whenever it befits them

1. Tell her how you feel. That is important for closure. Not the angry venting, but how you feel.
2. Ghost her.
3. Don't do the online crap ever again, get a real girl you can touch and feel.

This is the best way to move on for you.

Ghost, just cut her off and keep it moving. You seeking answers is pointless if she’s lying.

“Don’t do the online crap”

Although I agree to a point, more people meet online than offline these days. If it’s about not knowing if you’re getting catfished I get it.. but it’s stupid to think women will just date random guys they meet out in the world, those days are gone. Maybe if you live in a city, you could pull off an old school hook up. But not everyone lives in densely populated areas. Slim pickings pushes people to go online for relationships.

>don't be a prick. her relationship probably sucks and you helped her fill an emotional need. she blocked you so cease contact
There were many opportunities for her to admit that she was married or that I filled an emotional need. Both of which I called her out on at one point and prefaced it all by saying I'd understand (even if obviously I wouldn't have been fine with it and would have ceased contact). She instead doubled down on the lies. If she would have been honest and apologized at the very end, before blocking me, I could be sympathetic. Unironically I'm glad it happened this way because it will make it easier to move on emotionally than if she would have made up another bullshit lie, like found someone in person or an ex came back in the picture. Or manufactured an argument so we would have to end it. Now I just think she's a cheating manipulative terrible human being that I would never ever want in my life.

I already have the necessary contact info and compiled the screenshots. Highly unlikely I will send it, but better to have it on hand than not.

I wasn't seeking an online distance relationship in the first place. I know they're completely pointless, but our chats reminded me of my first love (which was also long distance when I was a teen during the AOL days). Initially I would only text her late night like twice a week when I was bored. It just happened as she started love bombing me, texted me more frequently, and I got swept up in the lies (that I chose to ignore).

Good points. I'm sure I will forget about her within a week.

so she fucked up and did an unethical thing and it sucks for you and all parties involved. be a man and be cool about it. don't be a bitch. maybe send her pics one day of some girl sucking your dick

>be a man and be cool about it. don't be a bitch.
I like reading stories of a cheating partners getting what they deserve. If I was in a marriage, I'd like to know as well what was happening behind my back, like another user said. Only thing that holds me back is the effort of making an another account and the future headache of prolonging this "story" instead of taking one on the chin and moving on.

>She knows some things about me I wouldn't want others to know, maybe puts in on blast on social media
You really think she'd jeopardize her marriage just to get back at you?

It is a stupid thing to worry about when you put it that way.

>Although I agree to a point, more people meet online than offline these days. If it’s about not knowing if you’re getting catfished I get it.. but it’s stupid to think women will just date random guys they meet out in the world, those days are gone. Maybe if you live in a city, you could pull off an old school hook up. But not everyone lives in densely populated areas. Slim pickings pushes people to go online for relationships.
I guess it depends on where you live. I have no problem finding women out in the world, I can't seem to avoid it in fact. But I do live in a university town.

So perhaps I should change that to say "Don't do the online crap unless you have no other option, because meeting face to face is so much more informative and tells you so much more about a person than online texting ever will".

>This is the fourth time now that a girl that shows interest in me has a significant other. What the fuck.

They viewed you as a possible mate to branch swing but you didn't hold up. Also have a little more self respect than to have a long distance relationship with someone who isn't even around.

Attached: GetImage.jpg (744x600, 280K)

>Confront or ghost?
holy shit ghost it bro.

OP here. Stopped caring all of the sudden after spending time with friends, won't be sending the information either. Fuck it, it's not my problem. Moving on.

>revenge lust
awwwww poor bb! you had to flirt with a married girl for a little bit. life is hard!

Attached: 7DF725B23DB84D5DA472D752609112BD.jpg (259x194, 5K)