Last couple months spend 5 or 6 days out of the week totally alone

Seinfeld it is then

I haven't spoken to any one outside of work face to face in nearly 2 years. Before that I'd only see my friend (who died nearly 2 years ago) face to face about 2-3 times a year at most
There is fuck all you can do to stop loneliness other than be with people
I've been a fucking idiot shut in retard and rejected people my entire fucking life or done nothing and avoided social shit because I'm a huge dumbass who hates himself so much I don't want to inflict myself on others and always feel out of place when I do
Go and join a fucking club or get a hobby that requires others asap before you fall into the same retarded shit I did when I was idiotic schoolboy who got bullied and never truly got over my distrust of others
Sorry for the idiotic rant but I don't want another prson to end up in the loneliness trap, as the longer you feel like this the worse it gets the less likely you'll get out

i want you to get out too user :(

Its too late for me, let my fuckups motivate you to not be like me

The only reason this is true now is b3cause of your headstate. You are not doomed. Yo can save yourself only if you try. It may not work immediately, but those who succeed don't give up on the first try.

>Its too late for me
Just so you know I think every single patient on earth says this. It isn't too late for you.

I've tried to get out (even as recently as late last year), I just don't feel at ease anywhere or with any one, I'm legitimately broken
My only wish is before I die I get to feel like I'm wanted even if its for a very short time. I'd probably hate that too thinking about it, even being praised for doing well at work makes me feel awkward and like I'm misrepresenting myself as I know I'm no good

I feel like I'm derailing the thread sorry, don't me like me OP you can fix it. If you like video games try getting into fighting games seriously, there will probably be a local you can go to to meet people

>I'm legitimately broken
Dude, this is literally most people on earth. The difference between you and them is you identify what is causing you pain and acknowledge it. You just need to take the next step, which is healing. Most people go their whole lives mentally broken and blame other people (ever heard of incels?)

You would bring the color back to your life if you found a therapist you liked. Having someone to talk to, developing trust, them having psychological solutions to your problems...

Fuck you. You will be replied to because I can relate. YOU are the only one who can give you that feeling of being wanted. You can't wait for it to happen because life isn't a movie. People die lonely every fucking day. Take a look in nursing homes, mean people with families drop them off and they get no visitors. That's because blood doesn't make you someone's family and in the end it's all about sharing good relations with those around you. Go make that family or give yourself siblings to care for.

You must change or you will not change. It is as simple as that.

This community will accept you. Any gym will as long as you are respectful of others. Many other things, not just fitness. It sounds cliche, but I have made many friends.

I'm not the kind of person to blame others for my problems. I know its only something I can fix and it wont just come to me, I know I will die alone if I do nothing now but I've tried and I just can't take it any more. I have no real life experience like normal people. I wish I was actually autistic or something so I had something to blame for the way I am

Shut up and start lifting, you fucking faggot.

All I do in work is fucking lift heavy shit, fuck paying to go to a place to do that

But do you lift it for reps or sets?

I am a programmer and it is therapeutic. It sounds like you don't enjoy your job.

Troll.

Then take some time off and vent. But realize the reason you're still here, and posting in this thead, is because a huge part of you still cares, still wants to get better, still wants a better life.

>It sounds like you don't enjoy your job
Does any one? Nobody works because they enjoy it, they do it because they need money
I'm only here because there's already enough drama within my family me killing myself wont help. I've seen the effect that shit has on people even if I am a disappointment I'd do more damage killing myself than putting up with this shit
I still feel like a coward for bitching out the few times I have tried

>I'm only here because there's already enough drama within my family me killing myself wont help
Whatever you need to tell yourself, man.

I enjoy my work. Genuinely.
You couldn't find yourself enjoying anything?

I have also been severely suicidal. Gun in mouth. My dad was severely sick and I knew the stress would kill him and then my mom would have nobody. That was right after my girlfriend who I the whole nine yards with became an alcoholic and stopped talking to me. I was in debt and doing college while working at a fucking Walmart and could make enough money for rent but not enough for sufficient food. I had moved from my old friends and didn't have any personal time to make new ones. My roommate kept stealing what food I did have and drew roaches because he would grow mold in the dishes. That whole year I had to stare at the insulation on the ceiling (which I installed) because the landlord wanted to use that money on building a deck on his house instead. Why was I broke after spending a year and a half with a 40k/yr job? Because all of the money went to my parents since they had medical bills and house payments, so I only took minimum wage despite paying for my college outright and on my own dime.

But it got better. It wouldn't have if I had stayed in that mindset. I stayed in school, moved back home with friend, rekindled old friendships, went to a different college, got an internship as a programmer for a forune 500, and am loving life because it's nowhere but up from where I was.

I'm glad it all works out for you dude
I'm also a little angry you had to go through that, fuck the US healthcare system

I enjoy my alone time, but if you're bored of being alone all the time, you can join an interest group or some shit and meet a lot of new people through them. Worked for me.

First, stop all ejaculation. From here on out you're not ejaculating unless its inside a girl you think youll eventually marry. The challenge of not touching your pecker itself will preoccupy and give you motivation to take on other tasks.

Do a 30 day period of no drinking as well.

Start working out, jimmy, if you don't already

I assume you are in your mid 20s, this is a veyr tough time to make friends and to find a decent girlfriend as all the young ones dont want you and all the ones your age are used up whores

So work on yourself and by your late 20s you can find a nice girl under 24 years old to bury your seed in and create children.

>the purpose of life is to create more life
This is all we can scientifically say.

Uncurable neurological disease that is new and therecore not covered by insurance. He got treatment, it just didn't work because they didn't know what it was until months later. But yeah, the ACA fucked shit up BADLY. And I'm angry about it, too. It affects me every day.

Whatever, Redpill Jr. You're not entirely wrong, but your philosophy isn't quite learned enough and you need to realize it's not for everybody. You can't use it as a crutch or push people on so quickly. You can't take the redpill on an empty stomach, he needs to build self confidence before anything else. This is coming from someone who is deep into redpill stuff.