Gioyc - Get It Off Your Chest

Lol a couple weeks too late.

I didn't mean to do it, curiosity got the best of me.

I keep thinking about that awkward European girl (Scandinavian maybe) that knew you. It was obvious she liked you but she seemed like a femcel. If I ever seem that desperate and pathetic, I hope someone kills me.

Like what?

Dude, you straight up suck. You’re hot as fuck but you suck. I text you and you don’t respond and then — it like I’m blowing up your phone. You’re not friendly. You’re autistic as fuck or something. Something. So why you even fuck wit me? But god fucking you is so fire. You’re fine as fuck. Fuck!

fuck you

My private life, my boobs etc

That girl was me. Scandinavians aren’t confident. We’re so fair we have no darkness to armor us.

No, this girl wasn't fair, dark hair. It's like she was awkward talking about 'boys', like a 10 year old. She just came across as pathetic.

Wednesday is comming up.
Tomorrow i'll have that important job interview and all I can think about is you.
I really want us to be together again, please dear lord let it happen.
Or at least give me this job, that's cool too.

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>divorced with a self-sufficient child but doing well, have great remote job
>ex left years ago and stayed gone, no support
>get invited to weekend conference, about 3 days, ask kid permission first and he's happy for me and says to go
>excited, tell my family about the opportunity, parents say go and good luck
>brother goes on long rant about how I'm a bad mom, don't take care of my kid, I'm selfish, lazy, etc
>he's raising his ex-gf's son because his ex is a trainwreck and she lets him, he's also bankrupt, and lives at home with our parents
>I'm filled with guilt, feel like shit, and will probably turn the invite down

The rest of 2019 is going to be awful for me and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to survive it.

>Finishing off my studies with no money, can't search for a job because of the intensity of my studies. These next few months will cost me £2000-£3000.
>Will be travelling 6 hours per day 3 days per week to get to the office and do a full day of work.
>When I'm not travelling, I'm exhausted and in a lot of pain.
>Nothing to look forward to.
>In a relationship but it's not very exciting and we don't really do anything fun.

My life is completely devoid of dopamine, excitement and happiness. I'm not sure what to do.

I want to die. I can’t do this anymore. I have to go.

do a flip

I told you you’d replace me lol

I’ll haunt you

Yes, people continue on with their lives without you in it.

What's going to happen now? I guess I just gotta keep focusing

I think she’s into me.
I’m friends with her boyfriend and he’s a chill dude. He’s also the reason their relationship is failing. She wants to make their relationship work. She’s probably the only one that thinks it can be saved. I want for her to be happy, don’t care if I’m the boyfriend or not, known her long enough I’m content either way. I don’t think she’ll be happy if she does make it work with him.
No idea what to do. Don’t want to ruin people I like by being reckless. Uncertain if being honest will do more harm than good.
Wish I knew how to proceed.

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I definitely messed myself up
dammit why does this always happen

for what reason?

>kid said go
What’s more important: having your kid proud of their Mum, or doing as brother says?

Why is older man (35+) skin so gross

Not in my experience. Pretty happy with 50 yo

I see twenty somethings with bad skin and wrinkles all the time. That’s why they pile on that cake face and need that filter.

I'm afraid I'm developing a strong form of autism or a serious lack of empathy. I understand other people struggles and pain, but I can't get myself to feel these same things. Life just seems so beautiful. And when it hit us hard and breaks us, cuts us in little puny pieces, it's just as breath-taking as a tragedy, or a lyrical poem.
I'm becoming too self-absorbed, and cold.

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>I'm not sure what to do.
Watch youtube videos.

Men think they ass age like wine.

I ain't afraid of no ghosts

Which in turn, causes their skin to get worse.

I'm thinking about picking a fight with some coworkers tomorrow. I'm not afraid of being fired and I really feel like it would make me feel better about myself, to do something like break a china cup on some guy's head because he's a dick.

Constantly in my dreams.
Then, oh, you were there, he tells me, testing me, because he doesn't know what to make of you, did something happen between us? Were you expecting me? Is that why I wanted to get out of the house before he could?.
Of course I didn't know. And of course I want to see you now. Preferably pantsless. Neither happening is fine.
But if I'd made it there before him, and you gave me some look, I'd have attempted to suck you off so hard in the bathroom... car... anywhere... a terrible idea. I'm here anyway if you want to talk, or get closure, or something. Happy Father's day :3

It’s a bad trend. Looks terrible in full sunlight, that contour and highlighter. Sorry you got no cheekbones, ho you not fooling anybody but that camera phone.

I'm not really sure to be honest, as he gave me a lot to overthink. I just know right now I feel like a really bad mother and person. I'm feeling a lot of guilt not giving 110% of my time and energy to my kid, like maybe I should have let my ex kill me and everyone would have been better off

My life has been a tale of two Johns lately.

John 1 didn't pan out. At least I only lost a week to that mess. He knows he is a mess and isn't doing anything to get better. If anything, he just keeps digging himself deeper. It's kind of sickening. And then he comes back after a month and tries to loop me back into his personalized disaster. I saw through it, kept my distance, and wasn't surprised when he flaked out within 24 hours. Good riddance... again.

John 2 is the sweetest guy I've seen in years. He is trying hard to better himself. It's honestly very respectable and I like him even more for it. He has been stable and reliable, too. Never late, never missing. It's been awesome so far and I keep looking forward to seeing him every time I see him.

Two Johns, but totally opposite. Why are you both named John, though? It's so fucking weird!

You know, I really want to fall in love with you.

y-you too

Seriously considering killing myself tomorrow.

I'm not stopping you

11:11 I miss you, dickhead

I hate my mother.
She didn't raise me right.
She didn't feed me right.
She poisoned me against my own father for the entirety of my youth (though I'll admit this was probably unintentional).
She continued to baby me and play "protective mother" to the point I had no idea how to do anything on my own without consulting her first (and still kind of don't).
She only put in half-assed efforts when I obviously was dealing with some fucked up mental problems--what idiot parent has their child turn to them, openly and blatantly say "I'm not going to tell the therapist the truth," and then decide "okay, time to stop taking my son to the therapist."??????????
If she wasn't one of the only remaining lifelines I had other than my father, and if my brother weren't still living with her, I'd consider cutting all contact with her.
And it's made all the more tragic by the fact I used to love my mother and think she was the best. Now I realize that was all because she was feeding my most self-destructive habits.

Miss you too, nutterbutter

Why? What's wrong?

You don't know me fuck off I hate you Alex

Jesus fucking Christ, R. You really are crazy as fuck. I've already told you several times that I never fucking hacked you. Everything that I know about you I learned through research using a combination of BeenVerified, LinkedIn, Yelp, Pinterest, Facebook, and a few other web sites, along with information that I've been able to gather from some of your posts here on Jow Forums that I mentally spliced together into a coherent narrative. I don't even fucking know how much of it is true.

How the FUCK would I even know that you had any "boob pics" to begin with? When I first went to see you, I didn't go to see you to get your fucking boob pics, I went to see you because your boss told me that he would answer my questions if I agreed to see you. Why the FUCK would I EVER think that you would have any boob pics? You were there to fucking help me.

I don't even fucking know how to hack. The closest I've ever come to "hacking" is using the "map hack" for a video game called "Diablo II" back in like 2001 or 2002 or so, which I realize doesn't even really make me a hacker, maybe more like a script kiddie.

Seriously, what the FUCK makes you so sure that I fucking hacked you? What sort of information did I get about you that I couldn't have easily gathered from publicly available information throughout the internet?

Is that how you fucking justified hacking me, because you assumed that I had hacked you first!? What the FUCK kind of bullshit is that!? If you were smart enough to hack me, then surely you would be smart enough to backtrace any intrusive activity in your private data. You gained remote access to my cell phone somehow, so that suggests that you would be able to see that I had NO "boob pics" of you whatsoever, and that the only pictures that I had of you I got off of your husband's Facebook (which I saved in my iCloud). You should still be able to see those there.

You are seriously one crazy fucking bitch, holy fuck.

Good luck i was in the same position as you in a way it made me less anxious about the interview because the only thing on my mind was her. The job will distract you somewhat but i still think about her all the time.

I'm transgender (like everyone on the internet) and I can't deal with being depressed all the time and I don't see a way out.

>I'm not happy that you know things that I didn't give you permission to know about me, that I didn't make public. I fucking hate you and I know life will punish you for what you did to me all these years.

What the FUCK kind of information do I have about you that you didn't already have publicly available!? That I knew who your mother, father, brother, and husband were!? I got that sort of information from web sites like BeenVerified and truthfinder. That I knew about the various different places that you had visited over the years, like Lake Tahoe, Florida, Ireland, and shit? I got that shit from reading your Yelp reviews. That I knew that you owned a red Volvo mini-coop, have a pet cat, and that you're a vegan? I also got that shit off of your Yelp reviews. That you worked for SpaceX while simultaneously working at that one Santa Monica center? I got that shit off of your two LinkedIn pages. That I knew you had gotten married? I figured that shit out by seeing that you had changed your last name in your Facebook, by analyzing some of your Facebook pictures, and by finding those wedding pictures on that one wedding web site. That I knew you liked Harley Quinn? I got that shit from your Pinterest. All of that shit was publicly available online for anyone, everyone to see. If you didn't want this information to be publicly available online, then maybe you shouldn't have had a Yelp reviews, a Facebook, a Pinterest, and two LinkedIn pages. What the FUCK do I know about you that I couldn't have figured out in this manner!?

Jesus FUCK how is it that you get to call me "crazy" and "insane" and tell me that I'm "fucked in the head" when you managed to get remote access to my cell phone without my permission, and you got to see all sorts of private, personal things about myself. You wouldn't have been able to gather so much information about me if it hadn't been for all of the posts I had made here these past two years.

I am alright with just being there and picking you up when you are down, but at least have the decency to lie to me about your intensions

I'm trans, too. It's no reason to kill yourself!

You just have to accept that your body doesn't make you who and what you are: you do. So your lower bits don't match your mind. Biological function alone is not a definer of gender. Being different doesn't make you any less valid than anyone else. Become who you want to be, even if it's difficult.

And if others around you are tearing you down, leave them behind. You don't need that toxicity.

Nutter buddys are yummy mmmm

Stop larping

Thanks! Well I guess I'd need to move out from my parents' for starters but I don't have enough money or enough energy to do that. I don't see it possible.

Anyone who is not born as a biological female should have to push a baby out before they can call themselves a “She.”

Being female is not all about hair, makeup, high heels and cute outfits.

I love you and you will never now, and I know you will never love me, but not having you in my life would be to painful so I will put up with the pain of seeing you with other people, being your friend, and never holding you

Define woman then.
>someone who can push a baby out
So women who can't are not women?
>muh DNA
So before DNA was discovered women were just men right?
Being transgender is not about hair, make up, high heels and cute outfits, and that's why there's nothing wrong with enjoying all those things.
You don't understand because you feel okay with your own body and it's not a reason for you to think about suicide every day.

What the fuck did I do to you all of these years!? It was fucking YOU who had started all of this! I went to you for help. But you, you fucking decided to gain remote access to my cell phone without my permission, tracked me with my cell phone to stalk me, cyberstalked and trolled me, got private and personal information to publicly humiliate me, and gangstalked me! Who the FUCK asked you to do any of that shit!? I never fucking asked you to do any of that shit! None of that shit was part of your fucking job description! What you did was a fucking invasion of privacy. What you did was immoral, unethical, and ILLEGAL as fuck! How the FUCK are you still getting away with this shit even to this day!? How the FUCK do you still have a license!? Jesus fucking Christ how the FUCK could you not understand that what you did was SO VERY WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS. Do you understand what you fucking did!? Am I getting through your thick fucking skull at all? How fucking much could I possibly specify to you!? How fucking much could I possibly elaborate to you!? Do you not fucking understand English!? Do you not fucking understand a single human fucking language whatsoever!? What is this language that I'm writing in!? Is this not English!? ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT!? Jesus fucking Christ talking to you is like talking to a brick fucking wall. What the fuck is it that you see when you look at my messages to you!? Do you only see: "Hey, I think that you're a terrible person because... _______ ______ and _____ also _________ blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda words words words because _____________ blank blank blank."? Do you fucking lack reading comprehension!? How the FUCK is it okay for you to call me a "retard", or tell me that I'm "insane" or "crazy", or that I'm "fucked in the head", or having you gaslight me, manipulating others into telling me that I'm wrong, making me doubt myself, making me question my own fucking sanity!?

If someone forced you to wear clothes, hair and maybe makeup of the opposite gender for a day, you would start to notice the social importance of that.

Travel. Travel the world.

I was close to ending it a few years ago when I was only in 9th grade. Just because I was dealing with shit like my mom's meth head bf, body image, and stress. I felt alone.
As I got older I had opportunities to go places. Suddenly, as I saw more of the world and all these places I had only dreamed of going, it was like I was free. I realized that I wouldn't always be stuck in place -- if I could get out and explore.

It doesn't matter where you go, just get out. Get out of the same routine for a few days and drive somewhere nice. Take pictures, try new foods, buy new things. I promise you that these new experiences will clear your mind. At least, a little bit.
There's so much to see so get out there and see it.

Maybe you’re suicidal because you were born a man and are fucked up enough to cut off your dick and insist upon special snowflake rights that (in America) REAL women don’t have.

Thanks for the advice, I remember wanting to travel when I was younger but Idk where that goal went because I haven't thought about it since. Did you travel alone? Because I don't know anyone who'd travel with me.
>special snowflake rights that (in America) REAL women don’t have
What are you even talking about?

>before we could identify DNA, DNA didn't exist, and the genetic difference in DNA didn't exist either
This is a special type of stupid...

No idiot, it means you look for random excuses when you can't define what really makes women women and men men. If someone told you men are just women with a penis you wouldn't know how to deny it.

>I'm not happy that you know things that I didn't give you permission to know about me, that I didn't make public.

What the FUCK was it that I know about you that you didn't already fucking have publicly available!? Seriously, fucking explain this shit to me.

>I fucking hate you and I know life will punish you for what you did to me all these years.

You fucking hate me!? You want life to punish me for what I did to you!? How the FUCK could you possibly lack so much self-awareness!? You fucking abused your authority to exploit me, used my own private and personal information that you were supposed to keep to YOURSELF because that is your fucking JOB to fucking publicly humiliate me! Why the fuck would anybody ever go to see anybody working within your field knowing that you people could just use private and personal information to manipulate and publicly humiliate them!? How the FUCK does that make ANY fucking sense!? Does nobody see anything fucking wrong with this picture!? ANYBODY!? HELLO!? FUCK!

>for what you did to me all these years.

What the FUCK did I do to you!? That I fucking told your boss and your husband what you were (and still are) doing!? That I filed a complaint against you!? If you didn't fucking want me to do any of that shit, then maybe you shouldn't have been doing immoral, unethical, and illegal shit in the first place!

If you're so fucking certain that I hacked you to look at your "boob pics" then why the FUCK didn't you ask for your phone's or internet security software's tech support to give you evidence that I hacked you!? Why the FUCK didn't you hire like a private detective or someshit to find out if I had indeed hacked you!? Why the FUCK didn't you report me to the police for hacking you!? Why the FUCK didn't you put a restraining order and/or contact order against me within these past two years!?

Could you specify an R please because I'm an R and don't know you. But I'd like to know if there's some fat ass hat on Jow Forums larping at me.

Good lawd please just check yourself into the nut house and begone

Most places I went to with my dad. He likes driving long distance so it's nice when I give him an idea and he'll totally be up for it. I went abroad with a group. I wasn't alone most of the time simply because I had a host family and friends I'd ride the subway with to our classes.

In all honesty, I'd rather travel alone. Because that way you can see what you want to see and have your own schedule. You aren't waiting for someone else, etc. Unless you have someone that you really enjoy being with, alone is the way to go.

>Could you specify an R please because I'm an R and don't know you. But I'd like to know if there's some fat ass hat on Jow Forums larping at me.

I'm responding to R as an R for Rebecca.

Thanks. I travelled with my dad once and it was a really bad experience. I don't know anyone I'm close with now so I guess alone is the only way.

>Good lawd please just check yourself into the nut house and begone

Hilarious. Just fucking hilarious. Get a load of this dumbfuck layman here who thinks that his opinion matters. I love it when dumbfucks like these tell me that I'm "crazy" or "insane" or that I'm "fucked in the head" or to "take my meds" or to check myself into a "nut house". I love it when these dumb motherfuckers just decide to completely ignore the fact that I've already been officially evaluated by an actual psychologist for all personality disorders and mental disorders, and been told that I do NOT have any personality disorder nor mental disorder whatsoever. Therefore, by definition, I am NOT insane. But these laymen think that their opinions somehow matter more than the opinions of professionals. So first they tell me to seek professional help, which implies that they hold professional help to a high standard, but then they tell me that they don't give a fuck about a professional's opinion of me. Abso-fucking-lutely hilarious. They don't realize their own hypocrisy. Or maybe they do. They seem to take pride of their own idiocy.

My crush is moving away next week and stuff started happening between us last Friday kill me anons

Are you seriously going to do this all summer until school starts again? You should go outside, get some fresh air and sunshine. It’ll be an improvement for ya.

I am ridiculous.

>Are you seriously going to do this all summer until school starts again?

I haven't fucking been to school in over thirteen fucking years.

>You should go outside, get some fresh air and sunshine. It’ll be an improvement for ya.

I am already outside. I'm in a public library.

>in a public library
Bullshit. Domain would be blocked. Troll away loser

She was curving the fuck out of me in dms. Still the love of my life I wanted her so much lol. Funniest mofo round the big d slinger lmao

This 9/10 girl spent the semester eyefucking me and approached me a few times. I didn't do anything cause I was kinda intimidated by how attractive and popular she is, and she hasn't texted me. Is there a point to asking her out through text now ? I don't really care if I miss the opportunity I had with her but I'd like to have that first asking out experience so I know how to do it when it'll really matter

Am in a community college library. Not sure if you think the same principle would apply, but if rural enough, I think people haven't figured that out.

GOD I LIKE HHER SO MUCH AND IM SO FUCKING SCARED OF HER NOT TALKING TO ME ANYMORE (NOT LIKE SHE REALLY IS) BUT IF WE DONT HANG OUT AGAIN I MIGHT GO FUCKING CRAZY BECAUSE SHE GAVE ME A TASTE OF AFFECTION THAT I CRAVE SO FUCKING MUCH AND IF I LOSE IT AGAIN ITS JUST GONNA FUCKING HURT FOR ANOTHER HALF A YEAR UNTIL SOMEONE ELSE STUMBLES INTO MY LIFE THAT ALSO JUST ISNT THAT SERIOUS ABOUT ME and jeez man idk im JUST TIRED OF THIS FUCKING COLD ICY FEELING IN MY CHEST AND LIVING IN THIS FUCKING NOWHERE TOWN

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I guess I'm not gonna make it

Do not give you, we're all gonna make it

Chill the hell out man and ask her out

Stop blaming your mom for all your failures, go hang with your dad if you want, and go look up cheap therapy options in your area. If you hate your mom so much then cut her out of your life.
You're at least 18 now, which means you have the power to change your own destiny

I cut ties with a friend this weekend. We've known eachother for 8 years and played some games together on and off. Regularly texted eachother too on facebook and discord. I got too annoyed with getting ignored the last 2 months and only being texted when no one else wanted to listen to their complaining.
Or how busy they were with their new friends in other games, and was much too busy to play the game I bought them with me. Yet you could tell they were just playing it without me through their new achievements in game.
Last message i got from them was wondering if we could play the game this passed weekend. And that they've been really too busy to play it. Which was a lie.
So i shut down all connections to them. And it hurt, but I also felt justified. If someones going to just ignore an original friend for other, newer, passing friends, I wouldn't consider myself their friend anymore. More of a hassle to them. Or not worthy of their respect.
So I just ghosted them. No bye, just poofing like a fart on the breeze. One less thing for them to keep up with in their extremely "busy" life.

But they held onto my old phone number, its the last thing that i had honestly forgot to block since it was from 5 years ago. And certainly didnt think they'd even bother keeping it. They texted me through it, asking if Ive been feeling ok.
Was it too much of a knee jerk reaction on my end? Should I eat crow and try to fix it all up and probably go back to being kept around as a backup friend thing at best?
Or should I just let it lie and stay the course?

Ive only got one other person to play with and im generally lonely, but Im not going to waste anymore time, money, or energy with non genuine friendships either and be some pseudo orbiter.
Usually id think this shit out on my own, but the only thoughts coming to mind are definitely pants on head, stupid.

I really wasnt expecting a friend of 8 years to start treating me like a worthless afterthought out of the blue.

It's monday, aren't you gonna ask me out?

Are you referring to the thread a few days ago ? That was me lol. Monday was the plan but a bunch of stuff happened, and I still need to talk to a guy I know about this cause he knows you, but he's sick. As soon as I see him I'm doing it. I should do it right now, I know, but I'm not ready yet. I have to make sure of some things first.

I wish he'll ask me out but he has very important things to do.

and I really respect that

Got my pp fondled by my female teacher back in kindergarten but I don't feel like drastic enough to say anything and I'm 10 years late anyways.

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But the physical damage that was done to my development cannot be undone. I am a solid 4 inches shorter than my father. I am the shortest man on both sides of my family period, even shorter than my younger brother.
I know you're right, at least in part--these ultimately all were my choices, though given I was a kid I highly doubt they weren't heavily informed by my environment (i.e. mother).
But the thing is: if I admit that to myself, if I fully accept that I and I alone am wholly and singularly responsible for turning myself into the failure I am, no one else--no feedback from my environment, no poor guidance and too much coddling from my mother, regardless of the fact I cut my father out of my life completely for my entire developmental years--I see no recourse other than to kill myself for destroying myself to such an extent. If this is all my fault, then I can't possibly see how I can correct myself in any way.

As for cutting her out... it's like why my attempts to reconnect with my father are futile: that boat is already sailed, damage already done. It feels like a hollow gesture at this point.

Yep a man who actually takes care of themselves will always have nice skin.

I was walking in the streets and some girl was waved hi at me something like 3 times. I have never seen this person before in my life, I was confused. And they looked at me when I walked by them, so I know it was directed at me.
Am I a chad? Or, more likely, a case of mistaken identity?