I am a patient at a clinic for people with eating disorders, i entered there weighting 400 pounds...

I am a patient at a clinic for people with eating disorders, i entered there weighting 400 pounds, i weight now 300 pounds.
People congratulate me all the time on how much weight i lost
i feel nothing
i dont feel happy that i lost weight
doctors and therapysts tell me how much better im doing, this also does not make me happy
why am i not happy?

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Why would you be happy?

Because your issue is mental not physical.

You could never make your mother happy and still cant.

You used food as a drug to give you feel good brain chemicles because you probably were depressed but you seriously repressed it. Engage more in therapy/group therapy, and try to remember what your life was like outside of food.

I couldnt care less about my mom, she is an awful person.

I have been obese all my life, i cant really remember things before turning five

No photographs or journaling? Facebook Memories? Previous english class writings that were creative? School Projects? This will probably be harder for you if you can't establish a personality that isn't constantly obsessing over food.

>why am i not happy
Because you're 300 pounds you fucking idiot. You would probably be happier if you could remain fat and keep eating like a pig, but you are cutting your fucking life span in half, so of course everybody around you is going to congratulate your success in slimming down. You NEED to slim down. This isn't about making you happy you fucking retarded pig.

I love to cook but other than that and Jow Forums i never had much of a life

Because you're still fat and have a long way to go. Their preemptive praise is meaningless until you are actually at a healthy weight. Only when you reach your goal will you be able to feel accomplished.

I dont really want to live a Long life, it Just seems like i would get lonelier and more bitter in my Old age

Go outside, ffs.
>and no food

Dont most people who undergo Long diets go immediately into depression and gain a bunch of weight back?

Because you're still a fat piece of shit.

Because they never have the will to reach their desired weight to begin with. They start but never keep it up. Like what you're going to do.

Kill yourself now then. Oh wait, you can't because you're a coward. Your assumption that you will just be lonely and bitter as you get old is literally just a fucking coping mechanism for your inability to be anything other than a lazy piece of shit. You're literally rationalizing your inaction as somehow being economical. You're such a fucking idiot. Read your own fucking post and you should be able to see that. Stop whining about it and kill yourself now if it's really that fucking unbearable. Otherwise, shut the fuck up and eat you veggies you fucking manchild. Grow the fuck up and start masturbating your own incompetence.

Honestly im Just going through the motions because im a very passive person, there doesnt seem to be a Point in loosing weight. Even if i do i hace already caused damage to my body that cant be fixed, i will have scars everywhere and even if i wanted to Play some sport i would be up against people who have been doing it their whole lifes and if it was only for dating or being more employable im still a very unpleasent person

Should have just ate yourself to death then, why stop? You are intimately involved with food, die that way.

Nobody cares.
Either drop the weight or drop your fat ass off a cliff.

I dont know, i guess i got scared at some Point and tried to get help.
And maybe if i go back to being that way i would get scared again
I doesnt feel line fear should be reason enough for any of this

wrong, its both

good job OP, you're not done yet
keep going, keep making changes to your life and give it time.

Being healthy is only 1 aspect of happiness, maintaining good health is required but not sufficient to produce happiness

Because nothing changes much at 300 lbs. People dont enjoy looking at you yet so you dont get halo effect.

I lost 50 lbs last year. When i hit about 25% body fat, people just started treating me better. It actually pissed me off because i was the same person from before.

I kept with it for myself. All of the people of my dad's age have had a stroke. I dont want to have a stroke. So I need to keep the weight off.

Because you miss what you had whether or not you liked it you ate what you wanted, everyone is proud of you for changing into a healthier person, but you will still see light in what you had, just remember about what hard work you did and everything that would be lost

People are shit. I get your resentment.

Because it's not who you really are, you aren't your body but that's all people understand. People are stupid, shallow fucks. Regardless, you are healthier now. Congrats.