I'm in love with a single mother. I'm only 20 years old, but I have a stable career with enough income to support myself plus some. The child in question is barely a toddler. This girl and I get along so well. We've known each other for awhile now. She's currently trying to get full custody from her deadbeat baby father, which is the most likely scenario given that the guy can't even be bothered to talk to his attorney about the case.
What do I do? I love this girl. I don't hate the idea of being a father at all. I'm just nervous. I know I want to be with her, and I have the financial means to do it.
I wouldn't know how to do that. I mean it when I say that I really care about her.
Michael Murphy
Detach and feel hurt then, but detach.
Alexander Cooper
Yikes
Benjamin Evans
>wanting to take care of a high school slut’s baby very yikes from me. just keep seeing her.
Ayden Gutierrez
Fuck her, but don't get into a relationship with her or anything beyond you just fucking her, also DON'T live together, even for small periods of time, check the cohabitation laws where you at.
Samuel Harris
She was raped by her abusive boyfriend when she was nineteen. The kid is only turning one in a few weeks.
I met her a few weeks after the baby was born.
Aaron Collins
Don't rush anything, there is a massive chance she just sees you as a means to an end, she has a baby of course she wants a man.
Also a toddler is 1-3yo not under 1, learn your shit.
Jace Garcia
>Just about a toddler >Just under one
Almost a toddler. But that's beside the point. If she were to be with me, she would be moving away from her family, which is her biggest support network. She actively wants to further her career.
My main concern is what if she ISN'T using me as a means to an end?
Kayden Martin
Don't listen to the people in this thread who have never had a girlfriend let alone taken care of a child OP.
If you like her and you like her child then go for it. Just remember that you are not entering one but two long term relationships. Be a good father and make a good home.
Hunter Ortiz
Thank you for the kind words.I needed to hear something like that. If I were to go through with this, I fully understand that I would be entering too long term relationships.
I grew up without a father, and I'll be damned if I ever walk out on a woman. I see pictures of the kid, and my heart melts. I see pictures of her, and I just feel like I'm in a better mood.
I know there are risks. I've been cheated on, used for money, and just abandoned by people. But that isn't worth never loving someone, right? Especially someone I feel like I have a real connection with.
Liam Sanchez
>The child in question is barely a toddler This implies he's over 1.
Back on track, your main issues is what if she does actually love you? The hard part is IF she does move to be with you, you're going to have to replace that support network, which as a teen mum is a big deal. Plus there is the issue of laws saying you're the father, some places say if the child sees you as the father thats better than blood. There is a massive risk involved in this for you, so if you're going to take the chance you better know just what you're risking for this girl.
What about her future, she wants a career? hows she plan to do that, by leeching off you? I don't mean that in a cunt way but what does she bring to the table besides a 200k debt (or whatever a kid takes to raise).
There is also the part where you'll never be her #1 ever. The kid will always come before you and will have always have.
Also chances are at 20yo you have no fucking clue what you want, most guys get to 25 before working that shit out, you may be an outlier but just be aware, where do you see you're self in 5 years?
Carson Morgan
lmao are you fucking retarded? I hate to come off as a dick but a human brain isnt fully developed until 25. You're still a kid whether you like it or not. Here's the hard fatherly advice you need sprite: RUN.
Kayden Edwards
Not op, but a mother is supposed to put her child‘s needs first. This is also true if it is your biological kids. What does that even imply? I mean, in a scenario where it is the child‘s need vs your need, you‘d be a cunt if you demanded someone would put the child‘s need at hold for yours. Does that mean you want her to let the baby cry all night because you have a desire to duck her right now? Does that mean that she should abandon all her kids school friends and his sense of home because you got a nice job offer? Does it mean that if you want lamb shanks it‘s lamb shanks for dinner and not also pasta so the kid also has something to est that he enjoys? I never actually get what people imply when they say this. Can you explain it to me?
Ayden Reyes
Jesus, clam down.
I'm simply saying that by dating a chick with a kid you skip that part of the relationship where the 2 of you are the most important people to each other.
Aiden Collins
Who said i wasn‘t calm? Also, ofc it‘s different than getting to know each other without having to organize much and having responsibilities. But just because it‘s different doesn‘t mean it‘s not as good.
Nathan Garcia
>Who said i wasn‘t calm? I dunno, probs the 100 essay ranting about a guy putting himself over a kid.
>But just because it‘s different doesn‘t mean it‘s not as good. Depends on the person
Kayden Perry
From one 20 year old to another: lol cuck
David Nguyen
OP, you're only 20. Having a wife and kid will consume you of pretty much everything.
Cameron Foster
Sounds like you're a juicy, naive young man that she can exploit and subvert emotionally to pay for her and her spawn's existence. I'd abort ASAP
Xavier Reyes
>She was raped by her abusive boyfriend when she was nineteen. Raped by her boyfriend? Sounds like pure manipulation trying to play on your protective, understanding nature. Women are also often say their boyfriend was an asshole and abusive, when all they did was not put up with their bullshit. I would eject and not make her issues yours. You can find someone else without this emotional and financial baggage.
Wyatt Long
Oh boy these types of relationships never turn out well, and you're also very young, don't screw over your prime by being a cuck
Daniel Gray
I will also add the following, OP. Imagine you two got together and due to some freak car accident, you end up being hospitalized for four months. Do you think she will stick by your side or will she leave you because you've become too much work for her and she's young and has a kid to take care of and needs financial security. Be honest. This is a one sided deal and you're only considering it because you believe you don't have other options. But you do.
Adrian Ortiz
>alpha 'deadbeat' father knocks up a qt and leaves her >she talks shit, accuses him while shes obviously an innocent angel >raises his child and acts extra nice towards men in order to catch a bets provider for her and childs sake >aims for the younger stable men same story every time open your eyes youre being used dumb cunt, read The Rational Male
John Gray
OP update?
Benjamin Scott
Instead of advice i want to ask why you are so eager to be with this woman? She obviously makes bad decisions why tie yourself to that? The rape thing is probably a lie, is he in jail for it? Also when the relationship ends as it obviously will do you think you wont be a "rapist" too so her next chump can pity her too? Why do you have so little self respect? Settling like that is for men in their 30s not someone who has a life ahead of them. You are going to make a lot of mistakes in your life. Don't let this be one of them. Though i know you will. Love will blind you and you will think anything is worth love. You are worth more than grinding for some low tier girl. There are a lot of good ones out there. Anyways enjoy travelling, working hard for her, and "living life to the fullest." You sad faggot.
