My friend just got married. Her husband is super insecure and keeps asking her if she settled. She comes to me to vent about it, but she always tells me, "I mean I married the guy. It's implied that we're going to be together for a really long time."
>be together for a really long time
She's brought this up maybe 7 times, and every time she has she never just said "forever." Am I reading too much into this? Sometimes she even catches herself, it seems. "I told him this is going to last... a really long time."
so insecure men can still make it some how? I thought you all said this was a fatal flaw
Dylan Ramirez
After 2 months of knowing the guy, she eloped. Pretty short sighted, that's why I'm asking if I'm reading too much into this or nah. It'll be their 3 month anniversary in a few days
Colton Stewart
but how did it happen in the first place is what I want to know how did she find him attractive despite the insecurity?
Jayden Phillips
They both have a lot in common, plus he's getting his PHD so he's not a total loser
Brandon Richardson
Is this part 2 to that other thread a few days ago? I've got nothing to say this time. Just curious.
Ryder Hughes
Man, this marriage sounds like it's going to last forever.
He's probably gonna ruin the relationship with his insecurity, sadly
Ryder Wood
Has your friend actually sat down and spoke with her husband about this? Has she told him that insecurity is a huge turn off and that he's driving her crazy with his constant need for validation and pats on the head?
James Kelly
>2 months and married One time, ask her to define 'really long' with a quantity, super casual like and see if she pops an answer.
James Moore
They've known each other two months, I'd wager the wedding (or prep for it) was the first time one or both encountered the other's middle name.
Let's face it, it's probably doomed already if two months is all it took.
Besides he's getting a PhD so he'll be a perfect provider while she figures out who's next
Hunter Jackson
She is hitting the wall lmao
Also >getting married
Grayson Rivera
Jesus christ. This sham of a marriage is doomed. Your friend is an idiot and she kinda deserves this . You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.
Nolan Myers
The one and only. Keep you posted lol
Logan Reed
Why even say something like that? "A really long time." If someone isn't planning on staying forever, why stay to begin with.
Justin Sullivan
>Besides he's getting a PhD so he'll be a perfect provider while she figures out who's next I feel far worse for this guy than your friend. She sounds like she's using him.
Sebastian Jenkins
This poor guy settled with a whore and is going to lose everything in the divorce. Oh, well. His fault for being a retarded degenerate.
Levi Bennett
She's calling me riiiiight now to complain about how all he did was bitch when they went to an art museum today. First 2 minutes of the phone call lol
>I mean I married the guy. It's implied that we're going to be together for a really long time. >be together for a really long time >I told him this is going to last... a really long time. You're right it does sound peculiar.
Xavier White
>plus he's getting his PHD so he's not a total loser That man is so fucked.
>Besides he's getting a PhD so he'll be a perfect provider while she figures out who's next If he's going into academia afterwards, he'll need a lot of support and won't be able to provide very much in return. Makes total sense for him, desu. If he's going for industry yeah he'll be a provider.
Leo Green
They sound dumb, but what are you doing playing therapist for her anyway?
Isaac Gray
She just hung up. Last thing she said, "ok I gotta go now I'm home (from drive back from work) I gotta go deal with this dumb bitch."
She's literally called me that before through one of these chats. She's called me a free therapist lol, but I'm a real shitty one desu
Ryan Smith
>They both have a lot in common, plus he's getting his PHD so he's not a total loser
In what?
Jackson King
She's going to school to be a lawyer and he's going to school to be a professor in political science, so both are law related
Michael Campbell
>>Besides he's getting a PhD so he'll be a perfect provider while she figures out who's next >I feel far worse for this guy than your friend. She sounds like she's using him.
Think of the alimony she will get
Matthew Ortiz
A conversation we had yesterday while she was over at a friend's house, where she tried weed for the first time while her husband was around
A conversation we had yesterday while she was over at a friend's house, where she tried weed for the first time while her husband was around. He hates seeing her drink or do any sort of drugs because he thinks she gets too crazy, but she thinks he's being a buzzkill. Hates going out to bars and clubs (and apparently art museums too) because of this
Sounds like she already doesn’t give a fuck what he thinks so what’s the point in trying to salvage this thing? It’s going to blow up regardless.
OP, I think you’re better off either standing back and watching the fireworks or, failing that, becoming an active participant in making sure this breakup produces the maximum number of keks possible.
I also posted something like "Don’t date someone who wants to tame you. Date someone who will be wild with you" because I had a feeling something like this would happen, and she liked it. For what that's worth.
Easton Green
Not gonna lie. It's been a ride watching her go from "go fuck yourself" to this
Parker Cox
it sounds like two edgy kids are dating but these are grown people and that's sad
Thomas Carter
When I questioned why she'd ever think getting married within two months of knowing him was a good idea, she fucking berated me and called me immature because I haven't done as many "Adult" things as her, so obviously that means she's more mature than me and I just don't get these "adult" decisions.
well I'm not the one chained to an autist by accident. win in my book.
Ethan Morris
You mean "a really long time".
Ian Powell
Just remembered that some time in the phone call she said "if he doesn't communicate his feelings (something autists can't really uhh do? lol) then wtf is the point of this marriage"
I dunno man, I dunno
Ryder Wright
>She's going to school to be a lawyer and he's going to school to be a professor in political science, so both are law related They deserve each other.
Sounds like a sitcom.
She seems like a bit of a drama queen, and she's currently living out her romantic fantasy of marrying a (possibly future) professor. Given her behavior, I would expect him to dump her, but that also seems unlikely because he's both very insecure and into her enough to get married. I bet they make it.
I don't think there's anything in it for you, if that's what you're wondering.
Robert Jenkins
Well, you know that women aren't capable of love, right? Her response shouldn't surprise you, especially these days when women have billions of men to choose from.
John Jones
She's 21, he's 26, married too young too fast. She's a product of a divorced family. He's a literal autist, and she didn't know until they moved in together. She doesn't want kids, he does. He guilt tripped her into agreeing to have kids in the far future. Every time I bring up how I'm never going to have kids and enjoy my DINK lifestyle, she gets huffy.
Odds are in my favor, I'm just trying to get this ball rolling. 50% of marriages end in divorce, you know how it goes.
She's heartless. I've seen her leave men in actual suicidal states, and she still thinks she's the victim. She has no sympathy towards his disorder, she just sees it as an embarrassment. So embarrassing, she refuses to ask him to get himself diagnosed because that would mean having to acknowledge he has a disorder. It's all about her, always has been like that with her
Bentley Jackson
Sounds like you're jealous of him, and are doing your best to undermine him. I think he has the advantage, both because he's already married to her, and because (unlike both you and her) he isn't a literal child. Now, if you were fucking her before they got married, that's a whole other thing.
Jacob Johnson
I'm not tryna fuck her, I'm just a friend. Also female and straight, and I've got my reasons
Chase Allen
Funeral is in 6 weeks.
Josiah Smith
hah she actually joked about killing him during the phone call then herself so she couldn't be taken to jail for it. All because he got her birthday cake Oreos instead of regular Oreos when the S'more Oreos were out when he went grocery shopping.
Yes, really.
Michael Myers
Bwahahahhahaha
Blake Howard
He's a fucking idiot
>She doesn't want kids, he does.
That right there should've been a breaking point for that relationship.
> He guilt tripped her into agreeing to have kids in the far future.
Dumbass, you can't change a hoe into a housewife. Trust me I've tried and I can't believe he thinks he's gonna be captain save-a-hoe. He's gotta respect her decision in not wanting kids and set his own boundaries. They're already resentful of each other - and you clearly see her side - It's not going to be any bit of a healthy relationship even if all goes well in kids/marriage shit.
I've had to break off a relationship only because the other person wanted 2 scenarios that are compromises of mine: A.) Kids and Polyamory or B.) Monogamy and no Kids. That's it if I can't get both kids and monogamy or I have to force the other person into monogamy what kind of fucking relationship is that?
btw calling a hoe a hoe ain't a bad thing in my book, perhaps labeling it accurately as a bpd/narc person is more accurate for her but it simplifies things down.
These two deserve each other for this and thinking anything was going to actually go through without proper vetting from both sides. Watch em implode user at least you're getting entertainment out of it.
That explains why she actually listens to you lol. I'm still not convinced you aren't just jealous. That said, I'm in a similar situation to the husband professionally, so maybe I'm just being sympathetic to him.
He's right about drinking and drugs; I think most people in mentally high-functioning occupations figure that out after a few years. He is also almost certainly not autistic. He may be somewhere on the spectrum, but it's far more likely you/her are confusing high intelligence and introversion for autism. Also, a PhD does not equal money. Anyone smart enough to get a PhD could have made more money doing something else with that time. If there's one thing a PhD does cultivate, though, it's patience.
>She's heartless. I've seen her leave men in actual suicidal states, and she still thinks she's the victim. She can't be responsible for other people's feelings. That kind of behavior (threatening suicide) is manipulative, even if they do actually feel that way.
Jeremiah Richardson
She backstabbed me, made life hell for the better part of this year. I cried at work, school, and right before bed. At one point, all my sympathy for her ran out. I should have seen it coming, seeing how she treats other people around her. But she thinks we're all good now and that we're back to being the bff's we were before. But I'm just adamant with staying close to her to get the details people from afar won't get. Like the autism thing, she hasn't told anyone besides me. Not even her husband lol His brother is unmistakably autistic. Autism is more likely to occur in males, there is a very real chance he has autism. My friend would never call the person they're with autistic (because it's shameful in her eyes) unless she has a real good reason.
He's convinced that once they actually have the kids, she'll go all house wife on him and be an excellent mom. All a kid does is make someone resentful over time, don't understand why two seemingly intelligent people don't understand these basic things about relationships, but oh well
Justin Gray
She backstabbed me, made life hell for the better part of this year. I cried at work, school, and right before bed. At one point, all my sympathy for her ran out. I should have seen it coming, seeing how she treats other people around her. But she thinks we're all good now and that we're back to being the bff's we were before. But I'm just adamant with staying close to her to get the details people from afar won't get. Like the autism thing, she hasn't told anyone besides me. Not even her husband lol His brother is quite literally autistic. Autism is more likely to occur in males, so there's a very real chance he actually has autism. My friend would never call the person they're with autistic (because it's shameful in her eyes) unless she has a real good reason.
He's convinced that once they actually have the kids, she'll go all house wife on him and be an excellent mom. All a kid does is make someone resentful over time. Don't understand why two seemingly intelligent people would make such a stupid irrational decision and clearly ignoring obvious red flags, but oh well
Luis Taylor
So she fucks you over and you stay in her life because you're... obsessed with her? Plotting your revenge? Get your shit together user.
Austin Ross
>"if he doesn't communicate his feelings (something autists can't really uhh do? lol) then wtf is the point of this marriage" Autists can communicate their feelings. They just horribly suck at reading other peoples feelings.
Sebastian Murphy
Yeah I guess you could say that. I just have a lot of resentment, and this would just be closure I wanted from her but she was too far up her ass to give the one person that was always there for her for the past 9 years an apology.
Carson Jenkins
OP it’s time to go full Luther. Crash this relationship with no survivors.
Don't get married after knowing somebody for two fucking months. Clearly his insecurity ... saying things like she settled is that nagging little voice in the back of his head saying ... dude you fucked up, 2 months nigger, what the fuck nigger, what are you doing bro ... Academic? Divorced family? Trying to correct the mistakes of the previous generation? Maybe not very successful with the ladies in the past? Unable to realise that you don't need to wife the first person who shows you some attention.
Her? she sounds as dumb as a brick. Getting married after 2 months. Clearly impulsive. Saying together for "a long time". Well yeah ... if you are that impulsive it is unlikely to last.
OP this is your friend? How long have you known her? What is your investment in this situation? Sounds fun/funny. I've got chaotic friends and ... man do they get tiresome as the years go on because they always want to dribble on about the same tired problems.
Then they call you up in the middle of the night to apologise for being a shitty friend and unloading all the same problems like always and like always you end up apologising to them for being a shitty friend and not supporting them enough and they are like ... yes ... that is right ... I have a condition ... you could be more sensitive sometimes.
Like fuck them. They'll always be fucked up and self absorbed and unable to help me do anything I need help with in my life. At my fucking funeral or something it'll be all about how it is actually super traumatising to them and how everybody should be feeling sorry for them right now.
Isaiah Lewis
I agree with you user. Imagine you marry and your wife is out there discussing the marriage and you with other men constantly and she has the audacity to say he is insecure. Well, if your wife is out there having intimate relationship chats with other men it surely doesn't foster security.
Carter Long
I'm her female best friend, and the husband doesn't know she goes to me to talk, so his insecurity is all on him
Austin Lewis
Only on this website so people laugh at others with higher education
Gavin Smith
>chained She waits till he has money and fucking rapes him in court It's a dime a dozen story. Happens every day in murrika Now you're in front row seats. Do enough of a solid, maybe she'll cut you in on the winnings.
