Would you date a guy who was actively receiving therapy?

>Developmental flaw
Not really. The reason they fall is because narcissists tend to be charming and fun to be around and they can come across as extremely positive. Women love that shit. So until they get a closer look you look like the bee's knees.

See

You're speaking for yourself, and the quality of a man in therapy is your opinion. It is hardly universally shared.

Yeah that's true. I meant to say to stay addicted anyways. It doesn't last or it's terrible. Narcissism is painful for everyone involved, fuck.

>tend to be charming and fun to be around and they can come across as extremely positive.
Very true.
I'm very charming but I don't have the energy to keep it up. It comes in bursts. I'm either the most apparent figure in a room or the most aloof, no in between. When I'm being aloof the internal pain is very overpowering. When I'm being outwardly, I feel like I'm the best and no one is better. It's worrisome to think back on my life right now. It's always been one of those two states of mind.

After going to therapy myself, I would date a girl who is going. Before that, I would not have. It seems like people in therapy are better partners in general, unless they have very serious problems. Meanwhile people who are not in therapy are often assholes who can't admit they need therapy

Really interesting and gives me a lot of hope. The stigma is real, bro. Glad you went through it and ended up better off. Can't count how many people I know who see it as weak, or who go to one session to prove they don't need therapy. Honestly so far It's been mentally/emotionally taxing. This isn't some walk in the park...

I was one of those people. I should have gone to therapy a decade ago if not even earlier. I was raised by a person who was deeply troubled due to physical abuse and had an attitude of "tough love" that included never complaining and never seeking help for anything. Truly idiotic and helped create an unbearable life of living with massive anxiety and stress while stoically denying it. Eventually I just started to snap. Before having a mental breakdown out of nowhere I considered anyone who went to therapy a wimp and an idiot. Now on the other side I can't believe that. I didn't even know what depression was, but thought i did, until I had this major depressive episode.

People don't even believe in migraines until they get one. A lot of people reading this will die having never gone to therapy, and live in needless pain because if it.

I think the real issue is psychiatrists. People thinking therapy is psychiatry is the real problem. It's not the same as the people giving children amphetamines and SSRIs to fuck up their lives, it just getting time to speak to someone who hopefully is experienced, wiser, and sane compared to your family

Just stay away from picky bitches and you'll be fine. You'll find one that likes you for what you are.

It's not the therapy, it's the personality disorder. You don't have run of the mill anxiety or depression, you have a personality disorder. Everyone I've interacted with who shows narc tendencies makes life uglier and more obnoxious. However, there's always easy marks to be had as I'm sure you already know.

Yes, it's codependency and/or past trauma manifesting in current poor relationships.

>stoically denying it
Stoicism is risky business for this precise reason. It may be manly to be a stoic warrior, but if you break because of neglecting yourself, you look way worse than just going to therapy.
>People thinking therapy is psychiatry is the real problem
this was a major barrier to me receiving therapy. So so true. After educating myself on what it means to do therapy, I realized how much of it was about building a relationship with another person. Of course, to establish trust I chose someone who doesn't prescribe drugs. But you literally are seeing a person 1+ times a week. It's like very intimate and it's own kind of relationship. Very interesting stuff.

I have a hard time believe this at times, but logically I know there are girls out there that would like me. What are the signs of a picky bitch in your experience? What are the signs of a non-picky girl?

Not all narcissists are the same. I'll leave it at that.

You are still bottom of the barrel, along with schizos and bordeliners.

Depends what the therapy is for. A little narcissism can get you far in life. But in your situation, hell no. Would stay far away.

Thanks for the advice

Yes, it means they are actively working on the issue. Very helpful

Ok user, I'm starting to notice some patterns in myself reading this thread. Any guidance/help/literature or basic strategy to work things out will be much appreciated. Even more info about that university class you mentioned, genuine interest in breaking down what is going on.
>I'm either the most apparent figure in a room or the most aloof, no in between.
(Fuck, was I just a narcissist all along?)

>I have a hard time believe this at times, but logically I know there are girls out there that would like me.
But why. There are people for everybody in real life, ostensibly strange (not really) connections are created between couples all the time. Toy can't rule these things out, simply because you can't know beforehand the type of bond that you'll create with another person. Everyone has traits that can be used to sustain love feelings.

As long as you work to fix it you're ahead of a lot of people. I know many guys who have severe issues due to child abuse and just say "therapy doesn't work" or it's bullshit. I currently work for a Grandiose Narcissist, which is super new to me. Don't put other people down, don't constantly highlight their mistakes, be a kinder person.
Hope you do well and have a fulfilling life OP

OP here. Not exactly sure how to go about it, but the main thing is the concept of the Other. What really started to chip into my narcissism was the re-realization that other people exist. It sound soooooo obvious, but to people like us it's like brand new territory. I had an emotional breakdown due to my realization that I have been "Othering" people for years. Understand that when you go into therapy (which is absolutely needed by the way, don't delude yourself into thinking you don't need it), you are establishing a relationship with another person. They are trying to help you open your heart and mind to the idea that other people exist and are also valuable. So it follows that you need to cooperate and coexist with your therapist. They have thoughts and emotions too. Don't cut yourself off from them when they suddenly suggest uncomfortable things to you. They feel uncomfortable because you lack a sense of self, and you have been feeding off others for it. You need to feel the pain bro. I hope you realize that changing these behaviours is really hard and not many people are able to do it. Go do it.

>simply because you can't know beforehand the type of bond that you'll create with another person
Holy shit thanks. That seems to be a really healthy way to treat any one in general. I love the idea of two seemingly different people spawning a friendship, romance, etc.

>Don't put other people down, don't constantly highlight their mistakes, be a kinder person.
I appreciate the kind words, and I'm sorry you work for someone that is probably annoying to be around. It's weird because keeping them at a distance will make them crave your attention, and being super nice to them will make them crave your attention. Pretty bad scenario for everyone kek

No, because I'm not gay. Next.

On one hand, whether you even want to disclose that you're attending therapy is totally up to you. I think it's fair if that's something you would like to share with a friend or partner, but you are by no means obligated to do so.

On the other hand, I think that seeking therapy is bold and admirable. Lots of people seem afraid of the vulnerability that is inherit with sharing intimate concerns (especially towards a complete stranger), but it can be a very effective route for self-improvement.

Both hands are giving you thumbs up.

OP, are you retarded? Why do you have to tell anyone? Never do that, it's purely your private shit.