I feel like I can't give my boyfriend any affection without him getting horny...

Maybe tone down your affection. My gf does this and it's so frustrating.
>gives deep kiss
I'm just being affectionate
>rubs me sexually
Just being affection
>touche's my dick radomnly
Affection

Such a tease

was he forced to go a significant amount of time since puberty without a girlfriend? that would probably explain it.

If he insists on sex, dump your bf for being a degenerate.

No. From what I was told he had many sexual flings in the past.

Luckily he doesn't insist and he's very understanding if I don't want to do anything sexual.

>only cares about getting horny

We have no say over this shit. Happens to me when I hug my gal, let alone anything otherwise. What the fuck train of thought are you on?

He actually wants affection dumbass

Sounds like an inexperienced young guy. That stuff is so off putting

Sexually he's experienced but he said he never tried to have a real relationship before. I'm starting to figure his lack of affection is probably messing up how his dick takes it I guess? I agree, it kinda is off putting.

this but unironically

Sensual and intimate energy are inseparable, an extension of the nature of human existence. There is a mundane aspect of reality as we experience it, and there is the higher nature of things, our ideals, religions, spiriualities.
It's okay to tend towards one or the other, but trying to isolate them makes things dull. A sensualist without a heart is boring and kind of gross. An ascetic who can't ground themselves in the world with their base nature is effete and an insult to the ideals that person claims to champion.

Basically, if you want to cuddle up to something, feel it, share body warmth with it, and not have it respond with a mixture of sexual and affectionate energy, here are your options.
>Get a bunny.
>Get a man who just doesn't have a lot of sexual energy.
>Get a man who's dumping all of that sexual energy into someone else before he comes home and acts like he's a model husband that treats you with respect.

Whatever stupid course of action you take, please bitch profusely on FaceBook about your love life afterwards. Crazy twats like you that want men to be ashamed of their natural urges are a special sort of demented spectacle.

> An ascetic who can't ground themselves in the world with their base nature
>base nature
>good
Go fuck yourself, hedonist. He shouldn't be treating her like a piece of meat, nor should she be expected to act like one.

>I started denying him affection
>I agree, it kinda is off putting.
leave him alone, what the fuck. You actually sound like a horrible person, you're treating him like garbage because he gets hard.

well this is really disheartening. I basically go through life just hoping to finally experience this love, and I see that if I feel as happy as I imagine I would to receive this, my girlfriend would resent it.
am I just not made for this world? Is there any girl who would actually appreciate how easy it is to get me excited?

I've said so many times that it is NOT his fault for getting hard. I've also said I DO NOT blame him for being like that.

This isn't about how easy it is for someone to get excited. It's about being able to separate sexual desires when someone just wants to show their love to them.

you're withholding affection because of something he can't control, you're not a good person.

KYS this is a repost

It's not treating her like a piece of meat. It's treating her like his fucking mate.

Base nature isn't good. It's not bad. It's how those ideals have to manifest. Lofty ideals without material grounding are just physic gas, a puff of hot air. Western religions alone deny this fundamental principle (which is absurd, as even Jesus drank and lost his temper from time to time). You look at yogis, zen masters, and assorted mystics from other oriental traditions, you'll find men who smoke, drink, and keep a girlfriend.
Romantic love goes with its physical expression, sex. Simply petting something or cuddling up to it isn't an expression of romantic love. You don't feel attracted to your dog or pillow (hopefully).

But please, by all means, continue to chase something and then psychotically rage at it because it exists physically instead of being a purely abstract concept.

>It's about being able to separate sexual desires when someone just wants to show their love to them.
I don't get how this sort of affection would not generate desire? What could possibly be more loving?

I don't like witholding affection from him and I feel horrible for doing it. I realize how cruel my actions are and I have no real justification for doing it outside of my fear that I am nothing but an object to him. But would it matter to him if I really did stop giving him affection if it really is true that I am just an object?

It isn't. If there is another thread like this please show me because I want to see more perspectives.

Why would it generate sexual desire? Me saying "I love you" should not make someone horny

>But would it matter to him if I really did stop giving him affection if it really is true that I am just an object?
No it wouldn't which proves the fucking point that he sees you as more than an object. If you were just a piece of ass he wouldn't get depressed over you being so fucking horrible to him, he'd simply move on to another woman.

Seriously fuck you. Do the right thing and leave him so he can find a decent woman.

> Me saying "I love you" should not make someone horny
And when you say it to your parents or your siblings, it doesn't.
He's neither, though. He's the dog to your bitch. He doesn't think lowly of you. It's not like you're a hooker to him. I hope for both of your sakes that you can get over this weird hangup of yours.
A lot of women would be grateful to have a partner with that much vigor to them.

Why would a woman want a man who only seems to care about what his dick feels when their gf wants to do normal relationship things? Surely some women would want that, but clearly not me.
I wish I could get over this hangup desu and I want to, I just don't know how to get over it.

Also to anyone else reading this; he said he usually feels "affectionate and horny at the same time". Is that quite literally even possible?

Getting an erection is "only seems to care about what his dick feels". Why are you so anxious to avoid acknowleging that it's involuntary? It doesn't mean he doesn't feel affectionate. I'm starting to think this thread is just bait.

>I wish I could get over this hangup desu and I want to, I just don't know how to get over it.
The best way to get over it is to stop being so awful to him and let him move on to a better girl.

I've stated that I am aware it's not his fault. How am I supposed to know that he cares more aside from that?

see

Well he’s your bf so you must know something about his virtues. Does he respect you? Does he try to help you in your life? It’s perfectly normal to want a shag, but I agree that sometimes it’s not the best time or place. That being said, since this is long distance, aren’t you horny as well? When my wife and i were long distance, we would bone like animals the night of reunion.

Yes and yes. No, I don't get horny very often due to a low sex drive (result of trauma) but I completely understand how/why he does.

What if he isn't depressed because of me denying affection; but because I'm not in the mood to something sexual at that given moment?

He probably is depressed because you don't want anything sexual. Men are physically and mentally unable to show and want shit like that. They unironically cannot feel love and only live for their sexual urges.
>believing your bf actually loves you

This is something he will just have to get over then. Otherwise, and I hate to say it, but you two aren’t physically compatible. It sounds to me like he’s yearning to explore himself sexually, and doesn’t know exactly how to control his emotions in tandem with his desires. Sex where your partner is “going through the motions” is never fun, for either party. Best I can say is, plan a romantic evening when you’re ready to put out and really wring him dry.

Like, get it all out.

>What if he isn't depressed because of me denying affection; but because I'm not in the mood to something sexual at that given moment?
what's more likely, your bf getting upset because his cunt of a gf won't even show him any affection or because he can't find a warm hole to stick his dick in in that instant?

I'm firmly convinced he should leave her and find someone better at this point.

"he doesn't care about separating affection from being horny."

Wait a sec. Is there even a difference?

As I said.

shoo shoo, femcel

Actually a guy. OP will see it in time. If you're a man, you can't even deny it. Especially since OP said her boyfriend has had a superficial sexual past, how could she expect a man like that to actually "love" her? I agree with the user who says he should leave her, to seek out his primal urges as he pleases. Likely cheating already for all we know.

To me, they're the same thing. English is a dumb language, it does not have an intermediate word between "I love you" and "I like you".

Proves women don't understand or care to understand the male mind. You give your guy kisses and cuddles and I love you's but what he really needs is a sandwich and to bust a nut. Give your man affection in the language men understand, by getting on your knees and servicing the cock. Disney lied to you about men sweety.

>Me saying "I love you" should not make someone horny
why? this is the sort of thing men live for.

My ex used to be nearly devoid of affection at all... Not quite your problem, but being 'with' someone who gives you no warmth fucking hurts.

Honestly it drove me into a depression where I just got upset easily, drank a lot, and in the end broke up with her because the feeling of unrequited love drove me fucking insane.

Attached: 64720925_10214031940701746_1936960517406982144_n.jpg (780x960, 55K)

>I feel like I can't give my boyfriend any affection without him getting horny.
Let me give you some information most won't. Some guys are very sensitive to touch. When I was younger any physical touch would give me an erection, did not necessarily mean that I was horny it was just a natural response for my body for some reason. Most won't learn to control bloodflow enough to control this.

What do they live for? Just wanting to fuck or having a woman say she loves him? Your post is unclear.

where can I get a femcel gf who is obsessed with my feelings towards her?

>want a man who only seems to care about what his dick feels
It's not like that, you dumb broad.
>Also to anyone else reading this; he said he usually feels "affectionate and horny at the same time". Is that quite literally even possible?
Yes. It is completely accurate.
Do you even experience sexual arousal with him? You just have a switch and you jump back and forth between treating him like a sex object and treating him like a fucking bunny rabbit? Those two things are supposed to go together.
You're the weird one.

getting affection from the one they love
it is exciting unlike anything else, except for maybe skydiving. but you can't fuck a parachute

Not OP but you're dumb as fuck if you think sex and loving affection go together. That's what women want, but you're absolutely delusional if you think that is what men want as well. During sex no men thinks of "i am really in love" they think "wow this pussy feels great"

>Also to anyone else reading this; he said he usually feels "affectionate and horny at the same time". Is that quite literally even possible?

I think a lot of guys experience this. A lot of women too, probably. Yes, it’s more than possible.

I definitely do (male)

I think you're just retarded and human connection is beyond your faculties.
Women tend strongly towards the mean, so they're all in tune with that shit.

>you can't fuck a parachute
Hold my beer.

It's not about human connection, it's about understanding how men think. Men are not very commonly emotional, so why would they put any any emotion into just fucking?