My moms dying of brain cancer and I'm a wreck. She's my mom. She's supposed to be invincible. She's always so happy and now the happiness isn't there anymore.
The only thing I can do now is be there for her as she was there for me.
Tell your Mom you love her as much as you can.
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:( that sucks OP
i will
Fuck my mom
Whats her chances of living? Dont lose hope.
No one has survived brain cancer.
The last surgery my friend had bought her 6 months of life.
Think about it like this user, she will hopefully no longer suffer once if she goes. We all pass on some time, and who knows! Maybe whatever comes after death is wonderful!
Probably hasn't helped much but it will all be okay in the end, we are born, we live and we die. Life goes on, and while one life may end, another life begins. So in a philosophical way it's not so bad, right? I hope things go okay, stay strong, friend.
Hey op, help her with the bucket list. See what you can do, ask if she wants to see fireworks on the fourth, and take her hell or high water.
Get medical cannabis cookies, find someone with a medical card or make your own cannabutter from a half o of decent weed.
Best thing i did was get a reccord player and play her favorite classical reccords. It made the really hard times feel a litte more compassionate.
And lastly know there will be a point where she wont be able to talk to you and understand you, say what you need to now.
Take a lot of time off work and have food delivered for a bit.
Read oic related too
cbd and/or marijuana may make her feel more comfortable. at least you and her have time to really say goodbye, not everyone gets to have a controlled descent ESPECIALLY with someone around who truly loves and cares for you. and that's exactly what your mom will have with you OP.
I know you're hurting real bad but please don't say stuff like, "Go hug your mom!" My mom is an abusive, cold person.
I suggest you and her set up her end of life plan. there are many ways to to dispose of your loved one's remains. burial, cremation, donate body to science, those tree urn things. can I suggest a book called "Stiff" by Mary Roach for you and/her to read?
also when you and/or her have 8 minutes this video may help getting her started on thinking about her end of life plans:
youtube.com
you're going to need to really care for yourself OP. a therapist who doesn't just shove pills at you and specializes in grief therapy would be a really good idea for you.
can I ask how old she is and how old you are? do you want to talk about her, what makes her special to you?
fuck I don't know what I would do if I lost one or both parents but I would either be in prison or dead
Hey op, I’m not sure how much I can offer here, my mum died off of cancer when I was 2.
Obviously I never got to know my mum, but I still regret never being able to spend enough time with her, so please do that now.
Try to make her life as comfortable as possible, if she asks to stop going to the hospital, respect that. My mum wanted to stop, it gives them grace in their fleeting moments. You’ll be in for a tough road that’ll last forever after this, I can’t sugar coat that. I still cry now when I see her name, 16 years on, but maybe that’s estrogen being a cow.
Please appreciate your moments with her whilst they last, no matter how long you spend with her, you’ll beat yourself up for not being with her enough afterwards.
honey, everyone's parents die. we all do. suffering and death are probably the two most inevitable and common facets to all living things. please begin making peace now with this so you don't end up in prison or dead when that occurs. your parents probably wouldn't want that for you.
I mean ill probably be dead before them anyways but honestly ill deal with that problem when it comes
I feel you OP. My mom just died about 2 weeks ago. I've been a fucking wreck. I never even got to say goodbye or tell her how much I love her.
Be there for her and try to talk as much as possible. Stay Strong.
you don't have to be user. there's usually no point to rush the inevitable. that said, no one consents to existence so I can't truly find fault in ending it early.
im religious so I found peace, don't worry about me
Sending blessings
I can't, she's dead.
Time is your only medicine.
Therapy can help if you put in the effort to find a good person.
I'm really sorry. It's gonna sound selfish but it is imperative that you take care of yourself during this shit.
you should cure op's mom of brain cancer
Thanks man.
She's at the point where she's unable to walk. She has no feeling on the left side of her body.
I'll be sure to say what I need to say.
Time heals all. Thank you for your advice. I'm looking into therapy.
Sorry to hear that, I hope you're doing ok.
I will, I'm going to take time off of work. It's for the best.
I apologize for stating that, I didn't realize not all moms are the same.
Definitely going to look into a grief therapist. She's 62 and I'm 28. I don't talk a lot about her. I'm just trying to be there for her as much as I can.
I haven't heard of Stiff, but she's at the point now where she can't see. It's really hard.
What kind of brain cancer?
My GF father had brain cancer 2011/12 had a good surgeon remove the beast.
He is know almost 8 years later still cancer free and enjoy his life.
Sp sont give ip hope yet. But until then enjoy every second with your move and give her all the love she deserves.
There was a tumor on the right frontal lobe of her brain. The doctors removed it, but it grew back. Not giving up hope though.
Not OP. Roughly 50% chance to die within 6 months. Near 100% to die within two years. No one survives
she got 28 years with you op, 60+ years of life for herself and her family is there by her side at the end. as sad as everything thing that's pretty much the best case scenario. that's what people hope for.
since her sight is gone you can always read aloud to her. the book "Stiff" is very funny but also very morbid along with being educational so I'm more suggesting that to you moreso than your mom.
you could read aloud to her books she likes or play music for her. massage her hands or feet if she would like that. cuddle with her if she wants to. gently brush her hair if she still has it.
I have not used her services but in the video I linked above the death doula also has a website:
goingwithgrace . com
what's important about that is setting up end of life plan for her. I've heard in the cloud of sadness, grief and stress a lot of people don't plan out the will, the funeral, etc. and end up lost and swamped when their loved ones die. that's a load of weight you can help lift off hers and yours shoulders, knowing everything is situated.
please take care of yourself, find a grief therapist and go to your doctor once in a while, get a physical or seek help for a health concern that doesn't go away.
I also suggest for you another youtube channel:
youtube . com/user/OrderoftheGoodDeath/videos
she's a mortician. having a dialogue about death helps deal with it I think.
when did she start being sick? what was her initial symptoms?
if I may, if she ends up wanting to not continue treatment please allow that. no one should have to keep enduring hospitals and all the shit that comes with it.
Grandma had blue fingers and couldn't feel her arm today. She isn't answering her phone. Help
sounds like a stoke, rip
I hope not. I'm gonna go to her first thing in the morning. She might just be asleep. God I hope she's ok
My mom had cancer when I was 16, and died a year later.
You get over it, eventually.
God I wish that was my mom
But sorry to hear that user all things in life must pass
tfw tragical relationship with my mother, she damaged me mentally through all my childhood and teens, what the fuck am I supposed to feel?
That's silly, plenty of people survived brain cancer. I'm friends with a woman who survived brain cancer twice, and now has 3 kids and lives happily.
My father had exploratory surgery last week to get a sample of a 12cm mass after failing two blood tests. He has a CAT scan booked in to see if there is anything elsewhere and will probably have lymph nodes removed to see if it is in the lymphatic system.
I only found out anything was going on at all last week so while my rational brain knows that until all the information is available it isn't worth getting too upset/stressed out about it doesn't stop me feeling it and experiencing it.
Like when they were telling me about the mass and he is all doped up in the recovery room I've got the sensation of blood rushing through my ears and I can feel my heart beating in my head and I'm thinking ... no, because you are supposed to meet your grandchildren. I'm going to be that fucking person who is always telling their kids stories about how brilliant granddad was I don't want to be that person I want you to hang out with them.
Like how you hope that death is a stranger who you encounter in the future, but never really meet? Knowing means worrying. It means all these potential divergent pathways where the news could be good or bad and at each point the stress leading up to it and then potentially escalating bad outcomes with ever greater emotional outcomes where you know what is happening and what will happen. Everybody dies. But for those you love you don't want to imagine them anxious, scared and in pain.
He lives alone. I don't live locally. He has already said he isn't telling anybody, his friends, his family. The guy is such a weird individual, full of pride and pragmatism, but he is more fragile than he lets on and I know right now he'll be waking up and feeling great until the sinking realisation as he remembers what the fuck is going on and he'll worry. I want to picture him happy.
Cancer is the worst. It steals away all of the person you once knew. You have to watch as the remaining days of that person are suffering, no longer who you knew them as... And after they are gone that is who you remember them as, not as the healthy normal person they were. Cancer is a curse, and it mostly often happens to good people... Cancer is proof that the devil is real. Watched my grandmother and my mother suffer and die from it. It doesn't help knowing the medical industry is more concerned with just making cancer comfortable instead of curing or preventing it.
It could be worse user, you could be the one with cancer instead of her.
Live a good life to the extent of whatcyou can do and that's the best way to see this situation.
I'm really sorry for your mom, peace man.
Matthew 11:28-30 KJV
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. [29] Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. [30] For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Matthew 28:18-20 KJV
And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. [19] Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: [20] Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
John 3:16 KJV
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Not OP but thank you for this user I needed it. God bless you and your familiy and God bless you all