Addicted to sissy hypno and bbc porn... i wanna go back

>always failed
it's because you keep going back to prove to yourself why you are not good enough. Each time you go back to check, you are unconsciously punishing yourself. Read into sadomasochism. Masochism isn't always related to sex by the way. You can be masochistic about many things. It's usually to do with self-worth. You are addicted to punishing yourself bro. Technically you are about to learn some really cool stuff about your pysche and come out stronger than most people. Only people like you come across the true origins of suffering. You can actually turn this into power.

thank you... can u be more clear?
why am i punishing myself?

That's precisely the cause of issues like these.

how is your relationship to your dad?

normal i think

need more than that to help you

It's the same for me.
Had a shit life for so long, at one point i'd just tell myaelf 'I'll feel like shit anyway so might aswell do x'.
Helped a lot.

make questions i'll answer, what u wanna know in particular?

sure. Does he make you really angry still?

yeah that's very natural IMO. Seems like you lowered the pressure on yourself, which is essentially the only way forward

no

read into freud or you're gonna be fucked for life

Ntayrt but Freud has been disagreed with and disproven by mainstream psychology for literally decades, where have you been?

There are three potential reasons for why you got into it, none of them are mutually exclusive:

1. You have autogynophilia, which is sexual arousal at the thought of becoming a woman. This generally comes with pseudo-bisexuality, which is an evolution of autogynophilia following a woman's normal sexuality (i.e, you "become" a woman fully in a sexual sense, including a woman's natural attraction to male)
2. You have low self-esteem and view black people as inferior, therefore you consider it incredibly demeaning to idolize black men.
3. This is probably all a result of a lack of sexual stimulation outside of your own masturbatory habits, which I seriously doubt you maintain any self-control over. As time went on, you graduated to more and more extreme forms of pornography, but I'm willing to bet you started out with lesbian porn.

The solution is fairly simple, you can start to ramp yourself down or pull out cold turkey. You can fix your self-esteem by doing activities that affirm yourself and your masculinity (i.e. working out, playing sports, hanging out with family members) and doing all the normal things that help boost a person's self-confidence. The issue you need to cut is your masturbatory habits. Stop touching your dick, kiddo.

all three are right, except that i view black people as inferior.

>he listens to mainstream psych
Never gonna make it

You may not think you do, but on a subconscious level you've probably decided that black people are inferior. If you aren't, then why isn't "BIG ASIAN COCK?" Or just plain old "BIG DICK?" There's a racial component. It's okay to be racist.

'cause society has always spoken about the bbc as "bigger, thicker, women like it, etc"

I got banned for posting a dick pic in an attention whore's thread. Fuck mods for doing their job. Anyways, most of the people who enjoy interracial and promote that kind of thing are A) from the south and B) in some way racist. They get off to the humiliation of a negro pounding their women, and they're usually sexist because they decide that white women are "their women." The whole "juicier dick" thing is just born from that taboo, people gossiping and making it into a forbidden fruit. It's kind of like when teenagers talk about sex, booze, or drugs. They hype it all up and half the time they don't even know what they're talking about, they're just repeating and embellishing on what someone else said to seem like they're "in the know." You just need to stop masturbating and watching porn, and that's going to be a willpower thing. I recommend picking up a separate habit like smoking cigarettes or gorging yourself on food. One that's less humiliating to supplant this so you can seek a support group to help you kick smoking after you've kicked your interracial autogynophilia thing with them.

John 8:34-36 ESV
Jesus answered them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. [35] The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. [36] So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

John 3
[3] Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. [4] Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born? [5] Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. [6] That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. [7] Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again. [8] The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.

Matt 28
And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. [19] Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: [20] Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

John 3
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

was addicted to this shit for a time too. i'd recommend replacing it with the straight hypno videos and then dropping porn all together. the straight videos take some getting used to, but eventually, they become just as rewarding and addictive as the sissy ones. at least this way, if you're stuck in an addiction, it's conditioning you to be straight rather than the other way around. then when you quit, the straight thoughts will stick with you, and you'll be normal again.

just stop listening to hypno, watching porn, and jerking off

unironically worked for me