GIOYC / Get It Off Your Chest

God please tell me she's not going to be there today. Just not today. Then in a couple days, I can talk about it with my therapist or something...

Cuz I just "don't want to" talk to anyone, honestly. I always avoid people and conversations. Well, usually I do.
During break, I always, always try to go to the quiet room I barely ever talk to anyone. I can't even get myself heard during DnD sessions half the time and no one even entertains my suggestions for ideas on what to do between games.

" People of your kind annoy me so bad I feel this urge to devalue you because of that. "

I question why people like you even have to exist in the first place. That is how much you annoy me. You just bring misery into this world.

Why the fuck do I look so different in the mirror than in pictures? In the mirror I look perfectly fine but in pictures I literally look deformed, my right eye is slightly closed and one side of my mouth pulls wide, it's weird as fuck but in the mirror I can't see and people in real life tell me it isn't there.

Why don’t you just text them and tell them yourself.

I’m really mad at you for coming over and fucking me like that and then ghosting me. Now I can’t even think about it. Fuck you. I hope that happens to you some day, so you’ll know how much it hurts.

I’m afraid of getting back into dating because I feel like she has such a tight hold on me I’ll never be able to get romantically involved with another girl. I try to think about dating other people, but then it just makes me sad because I feel like I’m betraying her somehow. We were together for 2 years and we experienced so much stuff firsthand together. It’s been almost a month since she left though, and according to her, I’m an “awful person” despite giving her everything I could and more.

if that makes you feel better, I feel bad for what I said

you're free now

Well I lost the bet
Broken heart, made new mistakes, everything is hurting, jesus why can't one good thing happen in life?
I'm a positive man but now everything's gonna be so much harder without you Yuki, maybe this is for the best but I sure as fuck don't see it at all.
Did all of those feelings really just go away? well, it's fine, i guess the only thing to do is to just move on.

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our influence on each other is subtle, but it’s there

You need practice. Just practice taking selfies and shit and you'll get better at controlling your facial expressions while taking a photo

You're insulting him by telling that

I say I have ED but I can't get it up feeling up my fat and ugly gf. I would break up with her but even when I have a decent looking gf I still can't get it up but when I did sext with a tranny my dick stays on hard but with my lifestyle I can't date shemales and trannys because I would instant lose my family and work.

Im currently studying for a public exam to get a high paying job, just got summoned to take up a job as a public servicer from another exam I passed, but the salary is not really great. This might be the last big chance I will have to get a high paying job and fixing my life for good.

It is literally do or die, and the pressure is killing me.

When god closes a door, it opens several others. Just be carefull which one you choose next.

She deserves you so I’ll let go. I can’t communicate with you anymore. It hurts too much.

What are you so scared of? Talk to me.

That's all I want to do is talk to you.

I think so too. That's kind of funny.

insulting whom? nowbody knows what person did I mean exactly

Decided to end my self-imposed dating ban and after 2 months I am beginning to hate men. The single men my age without children only want the benefits of a relationship without the commitment. They are mostly pathetic frat boy, bachelor types who think their inability to compromise is the same as asserting independence. Communication has evolved to “haha”, “yeah”, or “lol” with no follow through to continue the conversation. Apparently “how was xyz” is now extinct and quality time with a common interest is gaming. And the sex is pathetic. They’ll get short winded after being on top for 2 minutes and the most conscientious lover is the one who will hold your hair back while giving a bj. At this point, I don’t really see any incentive for me. I’d love to have a partner to share the world with but I refuse to be someone’s surrogate mother or act as an unpaid hooker. It’s quite sad.

Ok, I guess it could just be lighting. It's kinda annoying how i'll always look retarded in a straight on picture though...

Then why don't you initiate?

Sorry but you need to find higher quality males. They do exist but they are rare af. Not a conservative but tell lads you aren't gonna lay them for a few months, that you're shy sexually, most of the wasters will weed themselves out for you. What age group are you looking for?

good thing you've broke up with them

I do.

I share your frustration, most of what you said applies to women as well.

The west suffers from the diseases of responsibility, boomers replaced religion with narcissism and now we all suffer.

He wonders why I'm always in a bad mood. If he used his brain once in awhile then he'd figure out it's because I only get an orgasm once or twice a week. Why the fuck would I be nice to you, do things for you AND want to have sex with you when I don't get anything in return 98% of the time? The only thing you wanna do is cook for me, but even then I have to hear you constantly complain. You also leave the mess for me to clean. You drink too much, don't help with the kids and you're just lazy. You can't even keep your fucking word. You wanted to take me out, but you wanted me to make all the plans. Then when you didn't like those plans you refused to go. After I got the babysitter. After I spent over an hour getting ready. After I made all the preps for the kids. You even threatened me if I were to leave without you. And when I said fine, I'm changing and stay home as usual, that's when you want to leave? I refused to go in the car with you because you were mad then you get more upset. You have some weird control issues. I'm sick of this shit. I never wanted to get married or have kids. I'm fucking stuck with you because I made stupid decisions. I honestly hate you.

Based

I'm gonna assume you're young. If it's any consolation, the other side of the coin ain't too rosy. I don't deny good people are outtere, but when you're young they are few and far between. In a few years they will have calmed down.

I get lost in my own anguish filled bubble. The head swirls and I have a hard time reading people, it becomes an oblivious blur. How does one step out of the tornado? How does one let themselves out of their own imposed cage? How does one get to this point of seeing the best in the worst situations? I often think the path ahead can be no worse than the path that trails behind. Someone quoted me a lyric decades ago People hurt and that's their right. Observation just leds to indifference. I wonder how my living mirror transcends, I can't shake the torment from my roots, fake a smile behind a wall, as those who find your thread of weakness make it a game to unravel you. Rant done.

I think I got some serious (I mean not life or death serious but anyway) depressive atitude when I'm staying home. I love being alone and I love silence, and for the most of my youth I lived with my dad, just him and I, and we were both pretty silent individuals so I enjoyed a lot staying in my bedroom thinking about stuff and shit, I didn't notice at the time, but it really meant a lot to me.

Now a stepmother has moved in. The house is very noisy, her family visits regularly. They are even more noisy. I feel like I just can't be at peace anymore in something that I would call my own house. Im not even mad, I'm just so sad about it I can't help it.

I know it's very selfish of me to think that I liked way better the way things were back then, my dad had a very hard time right after divorce and things weren't so easy for me as well. I think he deserves to be happy with a solid relationship and that I would be on the wrong if I opposed him on that, unlike me he's not young, being 45+ years old, so it's not like he can do this sacrifice and get a wife later, there might not be a "later".

But I cant even feel good about staying home anymore, even when I'm alone, I can't feel good about doing anything productive here anymore, when I'm at other places I can. I'm interrupted so frequently it's not even funny and I'm so, so tired of this, I wish things could be different, but I'm at college both morning and evening and I can't just get a job than easily.

It feels like I don't have a place to rest anymore, and not only figuratively, but I might be actually getting sick because of that.

I dunno about all that but something that helps me is generally being mindful of my emotional state. If I feel like I'm spiraling into negative thoughts it helps just to talk to somebody (even small talk or something like that) or do something productive

You are walking fertilizer for the soil, enjoy your new found meaning.

I think most people hate seeing video and pictures of themselves.

Stop taking them so close to your face. Give it 2 meters distance, stop using your arms. Not everyone has flat faces which are better for mirror-like selfies.

>you need to find higher quality males
No doubt. Any idea where they are?
>you’re shy sexually
Quickly jumping into the sack isn’t a factor. I don’t do this.
>age group
Early 40s

Does not compute. Huh?

I truly feel sorry for the men and their experiences with such vapid females. I think this baggage has some impact on my situation because they haven’t learned they need to learn from what happened, be cautious moving forward, but also distinguish that I am not the one who did these things. Ex. If an ex used you for your money, so now you only go Dutch, then we are not going further. I can’t be in a relationship with someone who will never buy me a slice of pizza bc he chose to date a gold digger. (For the record, I usually pay for my own food.)
The fact that these are mature, grown adults behaving this way is so disappointing.

It's not so much that I hate, more that I actually look deformed.

I'll give it a go, thanks.

I wish my boyfriend never sent nudes to that random girl he didnt care for. It breaks my heart and pisses me off that he was so horny he'd do this. Not to mention he also fingered a girl he didn't even date.

>I truly feel sorry for the men and their experiences with such vapid females. I think this baggage has some impact on my situation

It probably does. I mean, the first thing we experience at around 16-18 years old is a massive wall of (young) womens entitlement due to their extremely high value, we get shit on, de-humanized, disparaged, all because we don't have wealth, maturity, and experience at that age, which 99% of people (at that age) don't. One of the side effects is the men who don't get participate (and there's a lot) start their sexual exploration in their mid to late twenties, usually with younger women, and it leaves the mid twenties to early thirties women high and dry since a lot want commitment. There are other problems as well, like women taking advantage of their favored position in the dating market to go on dinner dates at restaurants when they have no intention of calling them again, just to get the free meal, so now guys want to do "coffee" instead. Every man I know has some shitty story.

You're right though, it's hard to push through and learn but nobody thinks they are to blame, even though we all are.

I'm sure there's some moment like this for young women as well, a moment where you learn a lot about how scummy men are very quickly and it disillusions you.

Awww man

I can only relax and be myself around girls that I'm not attracted to. Whenever I start talking to a cute girl I overthink it and clam up. Is there any way to deal with this except just talking to more cuties until it's just a normal thing and not a big deal?

I feel like a walking time bomb all the time. One moment I’m very kind and sweet and then something inane irritates me and I snap and explode. People get really freaked out. It’s so frustrating.

I'm not even bored I'm just sick

Maybe you're borderline

Doesn’t sound like he’s your bf. Bfs don’t do such things.

>when you realize the user trolls telling you to kill yourself are right

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>What are you so scared of? Talk to me.

>That's all I want to do is talk to you.

Who are you referring to? Who are you? Initials?

>Ok, I guess its settled now. Peace.
>-r

Is what settled? Who are you? Dr. F? Dr. B?

>Why can't you tell me already? What's holding you back from wanting to tell me the truth? Why can't I know your thoughts? Please...

What truth?

Who do you want me to be? You seem awfully curious. I'm the I want to see you user.

>J -

>I only love Julian Assange. Only him. No one else.

>Now you have it. Do with it what you will. I don't care anymore.

What is this? What did you mean?

>Who do you want me to be? You seem awfully curious. I'm the I want to see you user.

Did your last name change recently, like about a year and a half or two years ago? Did it use to start with the letter F?

No.

>Is there going to be some big reveal or do I have to slowly figure it out on my own and keep it to myself? I have so many questions.

What makes you think that there would be a big reveal? What do you have questions about?

I hate when you reply three times in a day then skip a day or two at random. It makes me worry. I hope you're OK!

>I hate when you reply three times in a day then skip a day or two at random. It makes me worry. I hope you're OK!

I can't reply every day because I no longer have a computer nor phone. I also cannot use public library computers right now because I have a leg injury preventing me from walking too long. I will be recovering the next few days.

I fucked up and purged again and now I smell like viscera and my head hurts but at least I can relax now

>Oh god I want to torture fuck you
>Please stay away, its not you.
>I am not healthy you have no clue, i am one fucked up female.

Mrs. B?

>Sorry dude. I gave up.
>Silence and tension can only carry my interests so far. You wouldn't have liked me anyways.

I wouldn't have given you the silent treatment if you had only come by my place to speak with me in person.

>I think you understand how insane I am, especially if you're here reading my posts. I try not to let anyone know I am like this, but cats outa the bag for you at least.

It's real damn hard to know which posts are yours, because you continue posting anonymously and absolutely refuse to use a tripcode. I can't tell which posts are yours or just someone LARPing as you. I also can't tell if you're crazy, stupid, or if you're just fucking with my head to get back at me.

I wish I had someone that cares about me and to love me. I wish I was wanted by someone. I know it's not the best idea to just solely exist for someone's approval. But things feel dumb and sad.

>As he sleeps so peacefully all I can think about is the urge to choke him. I am so fucked up.

Who do you want to choke? Me or your husband A?

Borderline or bipolar

>He fucks me so good and has that rare ability to actually turn me on. I have never been in a serious relationship and he is my first and deeply in love with me. Sorry oneitis but I am too scared and feel too secure to drop this to chase after you even though you're always on my mind. I suck.

You feel too secure? So you do care about money, after all.

>He knows what I'm like and what I'm not like. He has also shown me, first hand, how you people are. He isn't stupid.

Who are you talking to? Where are they? Who are you talking about?

>Fuck man, sometimes you're pretty cool, but then you say shit like "I'm hella smart" which makes me want to die.

What? I've never said that I'm smart. Only that a professional told me that I'm pretty smart.

I think I'm going insane. My head hurts and I'm starting to see everything blurry.

haha same here but also suicidal

i already wrote some practice suicide letters, ive never felt more suicidal in my life than this last month

its weird how fucking boring everything becomes when it happens

>you do realize it's just a story with a few inside jokes slapped in between

Is what just a story?

>Please tell me everything I need to know.

What is it, specifically, that you want to know about?

>It's not enough to study something from a distance, to really understand it you have to became a part of it. That's what I've done all my life and that's what he does too. He's beautiful.

Is who beautiful?

> Can't reply
> Still on Jow Forums

Silly, go ahead and reply! Also get well soon. Ok?

Nosey Nelly

I'm currently using my father's laptop to post here.

>I’m afraid you come here now so I can’t even vent. Why’d you have to write my name here? I don’t want this anymore. It hurts too much, I need to never be in love.

Why can't you just vent anonymously like you've always done? Or is it me that you want to vent about? If so, why? Go ahead if you want.

What's wrong with me writing your name on here? Your name is very common.

Also I really doubt that you truly love anyone except for yourself.

>It could be made up. Our pasts mesh so well, run so parallel that it's suspicious. At this point, it doesn't matter.

Could what be made up?

Or possibly you really are alike more than you know? Sometimes things like that happen.

I'm tired
Tired of people treating me like shit
Tired of people ignoring me
Tired of people acting like I don't matter
But mostly I'm tired of people hurting others both mentally and physically and then acting as if they've done nothing wrong and all of that being considered completely and utterly normal and inevitable when it could easily be stopped if people actually fucking cared

>be moving away this week
>hang out with close friend of 2 years for the last time
>"by the way, how old are you user?"
>mfw

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I hate one of my friends. They're a overconfident asshole who can't leave me alone. I just want a single day without hearing their cocky voice.

>If I explained the situation I'd give myself away. If they're even here. I don't want to anyway because it's no one's business but mine. I mainly lurk here. If I do post then it's to get it off my chest, the whole point of this thread.

Interesting how it claim to think about me all the time and that you want to talk with me, but at the same time it seems that you don't want me to know that you post here about me.

>I guess it's not really a "chase" game, more of a "i don't know what the fuck to do" situation. I'm young, I'm getting shit done and on the grind at my job, and on the side trying to get to know someone who doesn't have many words to say. Quite similar to myself, which scares me and makes me more nervous than I've ever been in my entire life.

>A good kind of nervous, though.

Why is it a good kind of nervous? Are you still trying to get me to believe that anything between us could ever happen? Nice try.

That’s so untrue. I love him so much and he’s all I vent about... my name isn’t very common at all.

Ferdinand Hawthorne Zinklebottom, is that you?!

You sound like me three years ago. Found out he was an alcoholic, constantly trashed, I had no idea til he told me as he was about to go into detox for the first time. He needed serious help, like yours. He's a little better now, emotion-wise, and helps out a little more, not much but a little. He had an affair (or two or three) in AA about 6 months after sobering up because [blamed me for not putting out enough though I never got an apology or any kindness or anything to help me deal with years of abuse].

I still wish a million times over I'd left back then. Still never takes me out of his own volition. I'd have gotten custody 200%, you can too if you document everything. Please do it for your kids. He won't ever be what you need.

tl;dr dump him sis

Not one fucking friend responded to me today. I keep fucking trying to make shit happen but no one ever wants to put in the effort. at what point do I just give the fuck up? I don’t get what they fuck I’m doing wrong as a person beyond wanting to keep occupied and do some shit with some other people. Every weekend over the past years has been a god damn waste.

>You don’t like my insecurities but you caused them to multiply.

Now who's pinning blame here?

>Your behavior breeds mistrust.

Funny that you notice this about me, but not about yourself.

>Maybe you don’t realize how strangely you treat me.

It's kind of hard to be consistent with you when you insist on posting anonymously and expect me to know which posts are yours.

>You punish but you don’t celebrate the good.

What about you is good?

>A little love goes a long way with me.

I tried to give you love but you used it to mock and manipulate me.

>I guess I’ll never know how you really felt.

I liked you once. Keyword being: liked. Past tense.

I can't go into detail. We both have something very strange, very common in our past. We both are driven and are obsessed about certain issues. It's hard to explain, it's something you can never turn your back on. I've never met anyone like that before, anyone like me.

If it wasn't for the abortion and the guilt that followed, I'd have already broken up with you. If I didn't feel responsible for you I'd have left already. You are under my skin but I can't take care of you anymore. I can't even take care of myself. I can't love you when I don't even love myself. I wish I could quit you, but you need me more than I need you.

Someone I love.