How do you know when you have a dead bedroom

>once per week
I consider that as bare minimum. But i am always horny 28 years old male. If nothing else i want pity handjob.

No it’s not ridiculous. What does your girl think about sex? Is it a chore to her? Does she even like it? And this should go without saying but if your sex life is bothering you, this is something you should be communicating to her not us.

Almost 11 months, closing in on a year
Kinda same. Im an 18 yo male, if you think youre horny just imagine.
I was gone for 2 weeks, been back for almost a week, and im almost certain she wont do anything w me for another week. Im sick of trying

I have communicated it with her. About 6 months in i asked if she was asexual and she got all offended, but we hadnt gone all the way yet (she wanted to take it really slow). The sex is better for her than it is for me. I never fail to make her cum at least once or twice

>I have communicated it with her. About 6 months in
Ffs user, I mean communicate with her now.

You are too young for monogamy meme. You are young and sexually frustrated. Boot your lazy gf off and find equally horny girl to fuck. Believe me, they exist. Dont roleplay as married husband, you will have plenty time for that once you will be older.

Try tinder or okcupid. Or just nightclub.

Yeah, we have talked about it a bit more, she basically told me "we dont have to fuck every time we are 1 on 1" after we did it 3 or 4 times in 2 weeks. This was in the same conversation where we talked about her being overbearing since she would call me like several times a day (we used to be long distance, so several calls a day is normal and healthy for that, but it didnt stop once we were short distance again). She then told me about how she feels we do it too much and how it feels like a race to get off

I kinda feel like youre right, but at the same time i don't want to throw away something with one of my closest friends who i love just because shes too tired from work or busy or whatever to fuck

Well majority of husbands get tired after 100th rejection of sex, so they stop trying and either start the whole adultery meme or they simply get addicted to pornography. Both cases results in collaps of marriage one way or another.

Feel free to waste roleplay as husband then.

My friend group even jokingly refers to us as mom and dad, and i think i might be addicted to porn, so yeah fun on both fronts
I dont know what to do, her friends are my friends. And she gets super touchy about anything sexual, if it was the reason we broke up i would be fucking buried

if she isn't meeting your needs, it isn't your fault. if your friends are going to dog you over it, they probably aren't really your friends to begin with.

i have a much higher sex drive than my boyfriend. he's a lot faster than i am and we only have sex 1-3 times a month. he says it's due to stress and dealing with finals but honestly i think he's just not attracted to me anymore lol
as a reference i'm usually horny/masturbating every day, and he still masturbates regularly despite not wanting to have sex with me.

Two other friends in the group dated and had a messy break up and it fractured things heavily, another and i dont think i would have anyone to hang out with anymore

Thats fucked up. I have suspicions that my gf did that the other night but i dont know how to ask about it. Im going to be fucking furious if she did

uh??? did u respond to the wrong post lmao

fairweather friends like that aren't worth sweating over. I legit couldn't imagine any of my friends having a problem with me ditching a girl because she wouldn't put out, even if she was a mutual friend. it's a legitimate grievance and sex is easily 50% of the reason a guy gets into a relationship to begin with. are you sure all of your friends aren't women?

No, that whole bit about your bf masturbating instead of having sex

yeah honestly it feels really fucked up. he says that it's just for relief from anxiety and shit (we both have mental illnesses so this may just be me being insecure and retarded) but it just feels so fucking awful to know that given the choice between interacting with me and being alone, he'd rather be alone.

Fair point. Im going off to college this fall, maybe ill make a clean break

When you haven’t had sex since you haven’t gotten your boyfriend I should know I’m a male virgin and i didn’t even know what dead bedroom meant.

If jerking off is a release from anxiety and stress, but fucking isnt, does he feel anxiety from fucking? The mental illness might be causing him to be insecure

After i read this thread i have come to a conclusion, and m gonna ask you a question OP.

Do you think you gonna fuck more with your gf in the future?

I have no clue

he does tend to be really anxious and insecure about pleasing me, yeah. i think i really am just being retarded. we've talked about it before and he said he would try to masturbate less so he wouldn't have trouble with sex, but after a few weeks he went back to masturbating often without actually having sex with me. maybe i'm just not being supportive enough?

Call him out. Hes going back and slipping into old habbits. If he has admitted to what he is doing, treat it like an alcoholic relapsing

Your bedroom is dead OP, i always think "if this is how it's now, imagine when we are married" and break up.

My dad always says "if you arent married but need marriage counseling, its time to break up". Anything I can try to do to save the relationship?

Try one last time to reach a compromise.
>Sweety/babe/etc. You said to me that you think sex 4 times in two weeks isbtoo much, I think it's too little. It makes me feel unfulfilled. Is there any way we can meet halfway?
If she is unreasonable after this, she has issues you no longer need to carry and should leave. If she talks it out, and a compromise is reached, then boom great.

Shes off thursday, im out of town thursday and friday. Shes off thursday and Saturday next week, i will have family in town. Maybe ill have sex the week of the 8th...
She just found out she was left handed as a kid but a teacher forced her to become a righty, and proceeded to flirt about being better with handjobs using her left hand. I will not be getting a handjob for weeks.
Why does she do this.

Hold off on the talk. She'll go apeshit if you two aren't seeing each other regularly and you spring this talk on her
>reee you only want me for sex!

40+ and 30+ here married 10 years and we do it once or twice a week, despite her having a neurological condition that makes her pussy numb. When things are good we'll go at it every other day.

It has not always been this way. You need to make sex a priority, and more importantly you have to say aloud that it's a priority and why. I keep a journal, make sure things go smoothly on evenings so we can stay up late, make a point of watching our alcohol consumption so we can buy a bottle and get fucking wasted on date nights. It's easy to forget to get into bed together. Even if you're not tired or your schedules are fucked or she's on her period, get in bed and have your bodies together for an hour, wake her up just to make out.

The thing about sex is you're not just horny and need to come. Your body is designed to be half of a sexual system. Sex makes you feel good long after the orgasm is forgotten, it's really good for your health, skin contact and fluid exchange give you pair bonding, they literally can make you love each other more.

A few weeks ago I was really fed up with my wife for a variety of reasons. At some point I realized that I had stopped keeping track, and because of this I had started staying up late by myself. (I think this is the most underappreciated and most dangerous effect of porn dependency.) I decided to put more effort into all this, and after a short time we are back to normal. But you have to be willing to say what you want and to explain why it's important to you.

Above all else don't expect to be in the mood until you are lying in bed kissing, and don't expect to be hard or wet until you are naked. The longer the relationship and the more it's a sure thing, the more your body expects a clearer signal. Don't use porn to get horny or wait for the tingle to happen. Get into bed, put your mouth on hers, and get out of your clothes together because you love each other. Your bodies will take care of the rest.

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Very smart. Ill give til the end of the summer

God you're lucky. I wish i was with someone who was willing to do that kind of stuff

Correction, because it's important -

>make sure things go smoothly on the evenings when we can stay up late

By this I mean that I plan ahead for the nights we can stay up. This means avoid late night grocery runs, foolish promises to demanding children, late meals, postponed housework. Make sure that once you're alone together the day's bullshit is totally behind you so you can just hang out, watch shit that makes you laugh, make margaritas, talk about sex, make out, whatever it is you like to do together. And never hide that it's about sex. "I'm going to get you naked later, what do you want to drink?"

Or not be degenerate alchoholics and just make salads together, whatever you people do to get in the mood.

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If it's any consolation, that's not my girl in the pic.

How crappy is your situation that you can't wait for the right moment and propose a shift in the way you do things? For example a slow night with nothing going on. "I feel like we're not having as much fun as we should. Are we getting old? Let's go out." (I apologize for not being able to tell who I'm talking to right now. I'm not used to the boards without user IDs.)

Maybe you need to be willing to fuck everything up, and throw a bomb out there once in a while. "I'm tired of staying in. I think I'll go out and do something I'll be ashamed of tomorrow. Why don't you come with me?" And then there's my old favorite: "I'm going to have more sex from now on. Are you in?"

I should clarify that I don't think alcohol should be or needs to be a major factor in a healthy relationship - but almost all relationships are so disrupted by modern life, that alcohol is often necessary to put us in the mental and emotional space where we should be naturally. By which I mean high comfort, low anxiety, absence of fear, disregard of consequences, and arguably clarity of thought.

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Time for a new girlfriend

I would love to, but she's busy ALL THE TIME. Over the summer she decided tk work 8 to 5, 6 days a week, solely so that she can have an apartment next year and not have to work during the semester to pay for it. Shes a very low-stamina person, she gets tired or hungry or sleepy very easily, so after work she's beat beyond watching some TV or something. This has been one of the main killers, coupled with her insanely low need for sex. Last February (when we went all the way the first time) she told me she hadn't masturbated since Thanksgiving (we had done stuff in december but that's all). How can anyone be so LL?

You're a fucking dumbass

If one partner isn't happy with the frequency, then it's a libido mismatch. There's a difference between the two. Sex at least once a week is the bare minimum, any less than that and you're veering into a dead bedroom. If you raise that you're unsatisfied and you're ignored and sex doesn't happen any more often then you're in a dead bedroom.

Anyway, there's not much to do in these situations. I've been in one and I know how frustrating it it. You can't resort to rape. Tell her everything you're telling us. Depending on her reply, you'll know what to do. Things rarely get better but you must also be patient and try to cut through their bullshit excuses in a diplomatic manner.

"But she's busy!"

You make time for things you enjoy, and it's just sex.