BF spends every day working/going to school and gaming all evening. He just comes over to sleep (just sleep, no sex) at midnight, later, or not at all if he stays up playing. This happens all the time, and he used to live literally next door. Sometimes I would get tired and went to his place (not ideal, he lived with 2 other dudes) and then he would acknowledge my arrival and continue whatever he was doing, ignoring me. A few months back he moved away for a half-year work gig, and this continues. But now he just doesn't text or call, ever. He responds to my calls and texts...sometimes, often he talks for couple of minutes or straight up says he's playing for the whole night and he'll call tomorrow. Which, you might have guessed, more often than not does not happen and I have to make the call and the same repeats.
We've tried to talk about this but it never goes anywhere and I feel bad. Like I'm a gf who tries to keep him from having some_time_with_the_boys but it's not really about that. I've also tried playing with him, he got me into cs but he doesn't want to play more than a couple of games with me. Same with league (which he also got me into)
Might this be addiction? I know he's not playing 100% of the time, he does watch videos/movies and really studies on his own time, do it's just not gaming. But that really does feel like the biggest thing.
If he's working and studying every day he probably wants to have time for himself to relax and just do whatever. If it's important for you that he spends time with you, go up to him and fucking tell him.
I've had a shit day and tried asking him if he'd like to talk but after repeated "soon"'s or "after this match"es he just finally said that he's playing again all night. But hey he promised to call tomorrow and said that we could play danger zone.
Feels like shit when he never calls or texts and when he lived next to me he never came to visit. I would visit him, he would play and ignore me, finally watch and episode of something with me and continue playing. But never visit, only come over for sleeping.
I don't get it. He talks about moving together and how he loves me, so I don't really fucking know.
This is really good bait
I've told him, the next day we do something together (that I have to plan, because he can't decide/make any decisions) and then everything goes back to the way it was
Sounds like he values spending his free time on vidya rather than you, OP. You could try to convince him to get therapy or make it clear that if he won't change his behavior you're going to break the relationship off. Other than that you could try actually cutting off contact for a while and wait for him to come back to you, but that's risky.
>he doesn'tt value you >therapy
Ow ladies are on fire, this is why guys are don't care about shit girls.
I'm afraid that might be the case. But I don't know why he would talk about moving together, since he know moving in with me = less time on computer (probably).I would give up so much to spend time with the people that I love, and I really want to spend time with him but he just doesnt feel the same. I don't doubt that he loves me, but maybe we just are that different.
Why so many girls are too clingy? You never learn about having a time with yourself? I know women don't have true relationships with friends but at least do something that is not talking.
What are you actually getting out of this relationship?
What the hell did you even see in him? How is he your bf? Also this
I had a girlfriend like this. I broke up with her.
lol Jow Forums is filled with this shit. How do these people get gfs and why if there isn't even sex involved. Sounds like a regular friend to me. I make 100k, active, never play vidya, skinny but fit and only match with fat black girls and people with obvious mental/physical disabilities Life is cruel
Maybe if you just got gud he'd want to spend more time with you.
fucking this. wtf?
Just rape him. Tie him down and have your way with him for an entire day.
Please leave him. You deserve better honestly. This sounds extremely one sided. And when you are not getting enough attention, it's normal to get more clingy and jealous, because he isn't giving you the love that's needed in a stable relationship. Find someone who finds it adorable that you get excited over games, and plays with you. My ex husband was addicted to video games, and it was awful. He never touched me whatsoever. And didn't talk to me much, unless he was yelling at me.
Unless you're hideous I don't see how you wouldn't have at least 1 gf by now in your history. I'm the kind of guy that knows I don't have anything to offer a woman so I stand my ground but if you or the other user practically have it all, I don't understand why you'd even bother with online dating, just ask someone out.
Well I remember when I worked full time in a labor intensive place. I only had 4 hours for myself during working days and 1-2 full days for school or anything else. I imagine your bf has to unwind and maybe finds video games to help him do that but if he's not paying any attention to you at all even for a few minutes then yeah, that's not something a guy with a gf should do imo. Sorry if you're going through a hard time OP, I hope you can sort it out somehow. Just try talking to him and tell him how you fell about it.
>I make 100k, active, never play vidya, skinny but fit
Good for you faggot
He's lazy and doesn't want to be with you anymore.
I do suspect this user nailed it.
However OP you have to sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel. Let him know you cannot continue with things going on this way and see if there is a potential comprise you two can make.
It seems like you put in some effort learning about some games to play with him. That is FAR more than my past gf's have done.
If your serious conversation with him ends up having no effect on the routine, well then you really only have one choice.
As the maybe nail-hitter I find this this reply the best way to hammer this issue down. Do this, OP. This is the best advice you'll get.
I have a similar situation to OP. But I'm the guy. We've basically stopped having sex. Its more or less been over a year for us since then. I do care about her, but shes got some communication issues. The long term relationship and her inability to improve that kinda made me quit caring. Obviously we are both at fault in this aspect. However in my apathy, I've become highly addicted to porn in a way thats really crippled even my drive do be sexual with her. I'm working on it in secret, because for as long as we've been together I don't want to throw it all away. To be honest I feel like any one else would have ended this relationship ages ago.
This is why you don't date manchildren.
OP, as someone who has overcome video game addiction, you need to leave him. He needs to grow up and is obviously ignoring your needs. Screw him and his bum, unambitious ass.
It took my ex leaving me to get my shit together. He needs a wake up call.
Thank you everyone, we had a talk and it feels like he finally understood how badly this all affected me. Answering some points and questions:
> What are you getting out of this/why him He's funny, independent and a generally nice person (never, ever talks shit about anyone). He's also very independent and mature, handling his own business without me or anyone pestering him and calming me when I'm stressing about over stupid things. The only problem we have is that I feel I'm not getting enough attention.
>Leave him This is something I'm prepared for, in a sense that I keep it in mind. So if it happens, I wont cling to him/completely break (has happened to me before, learnt from my mistakes). But again, I would rather fix things than lose someone just over one problem
>You're jealous/clingy Jealous because of cs and league, yes, never because of his friends/family/etc. I'm super happy when he spends time with his friends (rarely, escpecially because he's moved) cus it means he's not on computer.
>I'm fit rich and nice why don't I fave gf! Maybe you're not so nice after all
After our talk he started to try and think of things we can do together, games we can play etc. He came up with few games that we both would enjoy and we could play together, today we started overcooked 2. Which is really nice.
I'm so glad you guys had a talk. I hope you guys keep your communication open, and help the relationship improve. Good luck to you both
I had the opposite relation with a girl. She had no job or school to worry about, and I had both. Needless to say any free time I had was basically spent with her. She ended up leaving me for some guy she swore up and down for over a year she would never develop feelings for. Any time I'd like to go relax for a few minutes or play some games, she wouldn't object directly, but she'd imply disappointment, she'd tell me the "right thing to do" without telling me a thing. I enjoyed having a clingy gf to be lovey with, but goddamn I got burnt out from how much effort went into it.
You should probably spend more time with him, the mere fact that you offer to play the same fucking games as him is way more than my gf ever did, and I praised her like a fucking goddess when we were together. I'm glad you found some middle ground as it shows he can actually do what a good bf should, but work on yourself when you're alone instead of worrying, that's what you can do.
I would never understand guy who don't fuck their girl friend silly. Even when I was the most addicted I would never trade my gf for any game Most I did was leveling on wow when my gf was in the pool (couldn't go cuz I got operated) I won't lie I was happy I could play wow while she was there but I still made her time worthwile came night
sounds like hes just a dope whos not ready for a relationship