All the good-looking couples and families flaunting themselves everywhere. It's unbearable
Is Summertime the worst time to be an Incel?
year round is a bad time to be an incel, faggot
Why are there so many incels? Why can't you guys understand how things work, accept it, and try to work around it?
I always hear the argument "men desire sex more because that's how we're biologically wired. We can't go against the instinct of wanting to spread our seed. Deal with it". Yet, say under the same breath "Why do women have to be so selective?"
By that argument, you can't justify biology with only men. Biologically, women are selective because they only carry one egg at a time. Of course they'd want to save for someone with good cards on the table. You're not competing against women for sex, you're competing against other men.
This isn't a meme post, I'm genuinely curious about why incels become who they are. Why not keep moving on to other women if you didn't have luck with others? Why not make it a learning experience instead of sinking in a depressive and rage induced spiral? Is it because you want what you can't have even more?
It's really amazing when I see a whole family of Chads and staceys. Dad, bros, moms, and sisters all looking like models. My family certainly isn't the worst, but these people are simply on other levels. I sometimes wonder if they have incestuous orgies but don't care because they know they are attractive and no one would blame them
blah blah blah i'm a whore - the post
>this isn't a meme post
You didn't answer the questions, but I think I'm starting to understand a little more. Its honestly because you want everything to fall in place with little to no effort as possible. You don't even want to take advice if it means putting work and effort into it either.
Everyone's genetic makeup is rng'd, with plastic surgery and makeup being gamechangers. Even by knowing that, men have so many other things that can accommodate for what they lack, if they are willing enough to work for it. Women on the other hand are only seen as "is she attractive or ugly?". If you don't have looks, you're basically fucked, unless plastic surgery and makeup makes it better. Men don't care about anything else as priority, besides a female having attractive features.
Do you honestly hear how silly that is? Men are literally jaded when a women is attractive (naturally, plastic, and/or with makeup) and doesnt want them. Unless she had the money or good makeup to alter her face/body, you are literally projecting your anger and insecurities on something that was genetically random, as everyone else is.
>Why are there so many incels? Why can't you guys understand how things work, accept it, and try to work around it?
We're INluntarily CELibate. What part of that are you struggling with?
I feel like the more I see this, the more it basically says "I decided to give up on trying anymore".
I can understand it. It sucks. It hurts to get your feelings hurt. There's shitty people in the world. Even if they are attractive, doesnt mean their personality will be just as good. But projecting that anger inwards towards yourself, and outwards towards women in general isn't healthy.
Honestly, you're the one in control. You guys can continue to live this way if you want. But I'm just saying, its really not going to help you in the longrun
No I just stopped actively trying to get women.
I deleted my online dating shit and I no longer consider talking to random women I see.
It's just not worth the heart and headache at this point.
I'm too different from the average person.
What's the answer? "Go to the gym and eat bettah?" Neither of which help you find a girlfriend. I've been working out for years. My physique isn't bad but I'm still socially inept and low-status. Women either want high-status guys or they want badboys.
It's not the bare meaning of the term, it's when you identify by it and use it we can tell you have problems to work around.
I am this guy And I will respond as best I can
Do you meet women in any organic way?
Or is it all tinder, sliding into dms, and awkward stranger approaches?
Anyone who is to be taken seriously on the matter does apply this biological standard to women. It's only when its broken down and analysed that females or Chad get defensive.
Being able to objective look at the issue with harsh truth is something that people struggle with.
>Incels in denial will try to shut you down.
Chads/women will attack it because they typically are too prideful and not in a lowly position and cannot fathom themselves in such bleak standing.
See responses to.
>tfw You'll never be an Übermensch aryan chad like Manuel Neuer
The very fact you subscribe to this thinking and talk "uncomfortable truths" is telling of your personality and why no one wants you.
You have only proven my point by making personal attacks and dodging the actual point of contention.
>The very fact you subscribe to this thinking and talk "uncomfortable truths" is telling of your personality and why no one wants you.
In a happy relationship of 7 years. Who would have thought that accepting reality and being able to self reflect would actually get you somewhere. Even if the process is painful.
>abloo bloo bloo you are toxic!!
here we go with this "argument"
meanwhile in the real world men who cheated on their women or even abused them have no problem getting new ones simply because they look good and are "charming"
Shit fuck hit "post" before I was done.
Ok, back to it.
>why are there so many
Vocal minority, possibly, or society has fundamentally changed to the point where the lower echelons of men are actually being discriminated against to a higher degree than in the recent past.
>why can't you understand how things work
Some of us have legitimate autism making social interactions impossible. Some of us never learned. Some of us have an idea but fill in the gaps. Some of us do understand but can't/won't do anything with that.
>try to work around
Some do, and fail constantly. If they understand they usually don't try, if they don't understand they try and fail. Some get out, and those are usually called "failed normies"
>You're not competing against women for sex, you're competing against other men.
Yes, good point, and this has become accepted in the incel school of thought. This is why Chad is more a topic of discussion than women most days, although women are whores because they whore themselves out to as many Chads as they can. It's understandable for them to do so, as you've pointed out.
>I'm genuinely curious about why incels become who they are.
It's different for every one. I personally didn't view myself as "different" until late highschool. By that point I had zero friends and no social knowledge. I was well behind everything that mattered for getting sex. College came around and it just stayed the same. I didn't know what I was missing and didn't really care. I was horny, sure, but school and fun mattered more. Eventually I found Jow Forums and similar sites, went through a rough patch of really hating women, but now I am indifferent towards them. We are different creatures and they do what they do. They aren't interested in me and that's fine. I don't respect except on rare occasions but I don't hate them either. Just grossed out I guess.
What difference does meeting girls organically make if you're still unattractive?
>Why not keep moving on to other women if you didn't have luck with others?
I asked one girl out once and she actually said yes. The date was awful, I felt sick for a week or two, and cringed myself out. I simply haven't felt the need or desire to ask a girl out. Some guys can and do get casual sex. That's all I want anymore, a hole to release my pent up energy. But I'm not attractive enough for that, and I don't feel like selling my soul to appease women, so I don't bother.
>Its honestly because you want everything to fall in place with little to no effort as possible
For me, partially. There are certain activities worth the effort and reward, others not so much. Yes, I want sex. No, I don't want to work for it.
>Men don't care about anything else as priority, besides a female having attractive features.
Partially true. I already admitted I only want sex right now. And if I'm putting effort into getting it, she better be attractive.
If I was looking for the mother of my kids, attractiveness might be less important, and intelligence/personality more so, but I will not be capable of that kind of relationship for a long time, if ever. Besides, most modern women don't want to be mothers, so this hardly matters.
Because there's more to attraction than physical ya dunce.
Do incel brains literally skip over the fact there's lots of ugly men, fat men, short men, poor men, even disabled men with wives and girlfriends?
It's a complex multivariable affair.
If you aren't attractive, yeah you're not going to have much luck on tinder. So go outside and be social and meet someone who clicks personality wise
>Because there's more to attraction than physical ya dunce
Who mentioned looks? Women are attracted to superficial charm, money and status. I have none of them.
>Do incel brains literally skip over the fact there's lots of ugly men, fat men, short men, poor men, even disabled men with wives and girlfriends?
but men who do not have any social life, because they dont fit in, have no girlfriends or wives
There's no one answer for this.
Do you just want to have sex for the sake of knowing how it feels, no strings? Hire an escort or use bumble to try your luck.
Are you completely satisfied with who you are? If not, find out what would make you the happiest version of you. Ignore the physical traits that can't be changed without surgery and makeup (height for example). If you are upset about your weight, work on that. If you want to make more money, work on that. Build confidence? Get into a leadership workshop to practice communication skills. Make a list of those things if you need to.
Do you want a girlfriend? Unless you work out the insecurities of yourself, it will be difficult. A relationship does not solve all of your issues, but it does make it easier when you work alongside someone you love, and help each other through life. By working through your insecurities, paying attention to your own needs before dating, you are only benefitting yourself in the longrun. You will be so much happier than how you are now.
When you feel you are at a good spot (for yourself), think about what common grounds you would want in a partner. Don't base it just on her looks, although it it part of it. If you want hookups, go to bars, clubs, and places people like to mingle in that respect. If you want someone more serious, go to events, parties, church, and even dating sites. There's no shame in going on the web if it means there's people genuinely looking for serious relationships, or any kind of relationship.
The definitions of which will change woman to woman, and the importance of which will also change woman to woman.
>Don't fit in
Then you're in the wrong places with the wrong people.. no one fits in with everyone.
Not him but I fit in with no one, not even other outcasts
The biggest commongrounds I see are incels believing that in order to get in a relationship, they must work on themselves for the sole purpose of pleasing women. They don't see it as having benefit on their own lives, first and foremost. It's like they hate women because they can't help but to prioritize, emphasize, and obsess over what women want, rather than what THEY want. If they're not happy with themselves, work on that first, or get as close to it as you can be. Ask for help. There's no shame in getting advice.
Another thing, sex isn't the holy grail of all things. Because women are biologically selective, incels psych themselves out by believing "if its THAT hard go get, then it must be the most incredible experience". Anyone can have sex if you lower your standards enough, and show up at the right kind of place. But, that's not what anyone wants. They want to feel loved and wanted by someone. But you'd have to ask yourself, do you give yourself that kind of love? As sappy as it is, we are creatures that need to feel validated by others. But, the most important relationship is with yourself first.
You're fitting in just well online. Can't you give yourself that at least? You're able to communicate your issues, and ask for help. If you want to expand to the real world, join a leadership or public speaking committee. Join group therapy sessions. If you're in school, go seek out your counselor for any additional advice, while practicing to talk with another person
But people on Jow Forums are exponentially cooler than ones IRL. Plus I don't have to know anyone. There's no upkeep here
The only reason people on Jow Forums are the way they are is BECAUSE its anonymous. People can say the shit they really feel without a filter, unless it goes against the rules. Put a name to a post, and immediately, people would be more careful with what they say. Also, just because someone is able to type their thoughts well doesnt mean they are able to vocally communicate JUST as well.
So my advice, find non-anonymous people to talk to. Beginnings are always awkward, but once you click with someone, the experience of having them open up to you, and vice versa, is very rewarding and honest.
I would prefer to click with people in real life but it rarely works out
Maybe you're right, but I've literally never had a "friend" unless my slightly younger brother counts. I grew up with minimal social input and 4cha n fills that role well enough. I understand it's not exactly "healthy" but oh well. I have no desire for real friends at this point
I'd love nothing more than to have a girlfriend who's my friend and companion. I'm not that hung up on looks. Most guys aren't. But it's not gonna happen. Girls don't want guys like me. And I don't really blame them to be honest.
Start off with small goals, and work your way up. From Jow Forums, to other online forums with usernames, to facebook/dating sites with real names, to planning hangouts with people.
You aren't the only one like this, there are so many people out there that are afraid to get to know people, and know how they feel about them. Find people who are similar to you, and eventually, you will become more confident in yourself. Also, if you aren't happy with yourself to begin with, work on the things that WILL make you happy.
Some people can't even rely on their own family, let alone other people. So, give yourself some credit.
You may have "no desire" because you numbed yourself with doubtful thoughts. Try doing things I mentioned for the other user. Maybe starting from there will rekindle your desire for friends.
Everyone needs some sort of connection, especially with yourself.
You project your insecurities before even knowing what a women actually thinks about you. But the biggest issue here is that "you don't blame them", meaning you believe that you aren't worthy of someone's love. You need to find the things that will make you happy, starting with yourself. List the things you don't like about yourself, and can be changed. This is a YOU-focused thing. Don't think about what everyone else would want of you.
I have no friends and am not good looking enough for online dating, so I am still celibate. This is not by choice, so I am involuntarily celibate.
Keep reading the posts below it. And let me know more about yourself, experiences and such
The posts below it are fairly routine, the same sort of things have been posted on Jow Forums for years.
I have no friends. I have a couple of solitary hobbies and recently stopped playing video games to focus on them more. I have a very engaging and fairly well-paying, stable career, although it's a virtually all-male field of work. As I am a homebody outside of work my main attempts at starting a relationship have been online, but, as I've discovered from lack of matches, I am ugly and/or boring.
Being in my late 20s I have grown more accepting of this and while I used to have a degree of anger/bitterness over being alone, it has faded over time as I've gained more fulfillment with my career. I would still say I'm an incel as my celibacy is not by choice.
My insecurities are not mutually exclusive with women's criteria for a sexual partner. Even average-looking women have the pick of any fuckboi they want. And online dating is a complete meat market for women. So they will usually go for men who have superficial charm (which is why a lot of them end up burnt by badboys) or they prioritize men with money/status. It's only once they lose their physical attractiveness or end up a single mum that women become less choosy.
Because some of us just don't have the means, money, looks, nor skills to get a GF
Luckily for me I have some decent looks but I'm fucked either way in terms of women.
Lets add in the fact too that there is a considerable shortage of good and good-looking women
It's never a good time to choose being an incel.
That's funny because "incel" is a contraction of "involuntary" and "celibate," involuntary being the key word. No one chooses to be an incel. It is chosen by the sexual gatekeepers (women) for males who are not fit to mate
Yup. People don't get this, do they? They think it's all by choice. If you workout, eat your greens, and go to salsa classes you'll suddenly score with women. Even if you're an ugly, socially awkard misfit.
Normies believe it because they've lived it. They don't think it could be another way, that there might be some degree of chance or fate in their life. I think this is because all the effort they've spent "attaining" whatever they have is actually trivial because they were already going to get it, just in different form.
I knew there was no rebuttal to this.
>Even average looking women have the pick of every fuckboi they want
Not entirely true if those fuckbois have standards, but yes. Fuckbois are called fuckbois because they want sex. Of course they wouldn't refuse sex if a women wasnt haggard looking, and gave them the opportunity.
>Online dating is a complete meat market for women
Women are biologically more selective for a reason. If you're talking Tinder, sure. But this mentality does not apply to all women. Have you considered that you may be limiting yourself to certain type and/or dating site?
You're making assumptions.
Again, women are more selective. Would you rather date a bum neet with no aspirations, or someone who Carrie's themselves well? 10/10 times, everyone would pick the latter.
>Its only when they lose their physical attractiveness and end up a single mom
PARTY GIRLS usually end up that way? Is that honestly the only type you're seeking out? You're not looking in the right places, and your worldview of things is very small. Do share what kind of girlfriend you like, and be detailed about it
It's fucking insane, dude.