The rare times I've hooked up with a girl she's had to wave a neon sign telling me to make a move. I have to be 99.99% certain of success before approaching a girl. I'm like that with almost all of my social interactions. I'm just incapable of being blasé about it. They tell you not to take it personal but how can't you? That person is rejecting YOU, not the guy next door. There's something about YOU, physically or emotionally that they've deemed unappealing.
Overcoming fear of rejection?
>The rare times I've hooked up with a girl
Dude you have had sex, you are normal. You have nothing to fear.
Not many times for my age, dude.
What does that even mean? Wtf do you think the average number for your age should be?
I expect that a lot of men my age have at least had regular sex in a long-term relationship before.
I'm in a similar spot myself, but I feel like it's extended to all of my friends
for example, I don't take the initiative to hang out w/ them often because I'm scared they'd shun me away or say they're busy
How can I overcome it?
no one wants to help -_-
Because you are a normie. You should be helping us instead, Mr. Norman McSimpleton. Help us be normal like you.
I never hit on girls until I went to the mental hospital and that was all I did out of boredom. Old, young, patients, staff, pretty much anything with a vagina. What I learned was that not caring about the outcome and establishing a reputation as someone who hits on girls is most important. As counter productive as it sounds, approaching woman shouldn't be about getting laid, you need to look at it as a challenge for developing your balls, getting a yes is simply a bonus. That way rejection isn't a loss, because you've won just by approaching.
Once I left the mental hospital my powers were gone though, I felt like the old me again, the me that doesn't hit on girls ever. Being away from home and around new people gave me the chance to reinvent myself, but back home its like I settled back into my old ways and personality. But what I'm saying is you have to establish yourself as someone who hits on woman so its not awkward when you suddenly make the change.
As long as you don't start appearing as a retard Casanova no woman would choose as a long term partner
>Once I left the mental hospital my powers were gone though, I felt like the old me again, the me that doesn't hit on girls ever.
Fuck, a similar thing happened to me. I went traveling overseas for half a year in my mid-20s, went from khhv to serial sexhaver (as in, I'd stay in a city for a week and fuck a different woman every night I was there).
Came back home and haven't had sex in the four years that followed. It's almost worse now, honestly - when I was a khhv I just assumed that nobody was paying attention to me because I was weird, ugly, pale, skinny, whatever. From my experience I now know that I'm actually very attractive, and I can see that women show interest quite often (sidenote - it's a real 'They Live' moment when you finally figure out what 'the look' from a woman actually looks like, and you realise you've been getting it all along). It's worse because I now know damn well that the problem's with me - I know I have an opening, I know what the right move is, I just can't bring myself to execute.
Reading over that post, it actually sounds extremely conceited and doesn't have a major point to it.
The point I wanted to make is that volume, and possibly time constraints, are the only real 'tricks' to getting over the fear of rejection.
You need volume, ie, a large pool of women to practice on, since a) more practice = better performance when it really counts, and b) so that you adopt the correct mindset that 'there's always another one', which will make you worry less about each individual failure.
I'd never really thought of this before, but I think a time constraint is important too. Learning to communicate your intentions clearly and quickly will do more for your dating life than being good-looking, fit, or rich. I say that for two reasons - 1) less time spent per woman means more women can be approached; volume is important. 2) women's primary experience is with extremely forward men, to the point that they don't register any interest that isn't displayed quickly and prominently. Take too long and she'll assume you're not interested and move on.
Traveling, especially staying in hostels, provides both the volume and time constraints you need to learn quickly and correctly. I'd love to know how a person can find the same sort of thing when at home, though.
I think the hardest part is just suddenly going from quiet introvert to displaying interest in fucking. I'll never forget the first and only time I showed an interest in girls around my mom, she gave me this look like "You don't do that, that's not you". There might be a few girls in town that like me, but hitting on them now would be too weird since Ive been ignoring them all this time, it would make me look like a weirdo whos been secretly lusting over them.
Had sex = normie?
I've only had sex with online friends from other countries that I've met IRL. I've never had an actual girlfriend
Dont take it personal. Offer up plans, take initiative but be confident about
So no one has any advice on overcoming rejection?
Nope you really just have to get used to it. I see to have this too I feel like it was also subconsciously because I didn't want them to spread rumors if we did date and it didn't go well to or if I just asked then out
tl;dr: approach as many women as you can and make your intent clear as soon as possible. Traveling solo is ideal for practice.
Lmao no way. Most men are scraping by when it comes to sex due to the rising unrealistic standards women have
Womens' standards are only high on the internet, where they're bombarded with attention from all sides and only a tiny minority of men enact good image control practices. Go outside and womens' standards are as low as they've ever been.