What causes avoidant personality disorder?

What causes avoidant personality disorder?
It's not like i had family problems when i was a child or anything. I was not abused nor had huge traumatic experiences, and my parents were not overprotective or had bad habits.

Why bros?

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most mental disorders are caused by a general genetic predisposition towards the class of disorder
t. two of my grandparents have mental disorders that required hospitalization in the past

Overactive amygdala

It's got the point where i rarely leave home. And when i get out, a lot of people just stare at me cuz i'm weird as fuck and walk weird. You know that feeling when you're so anxious that you dont even know how to walk properly or move your arms while doing so because you're self conscious about yourself? so pathetic bros
I dont have any friends and currently have a poor relationship with my parents, because of the disorder. I'm even awkward around them. And they noticed it and look me with a different view

Fuck. So there's a genetic predisposition of being a normie? honestly the only theory that makes sense is some kind of predisposition.

The game was rigged from the start, lads

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I've read that's what could cause depression. I have depression as well. I think i have always been a depressive lad, i dont remember this since i have poor memory but my mother told me my first depression happened when i was like 5... its not fair

>So there's a genetic predisposition of being a normie
I meant for being a normie
Anyways, do you think it is possible to transcend and become one? Please bros give me the steps. If not i'll probably kill myself eventually

>when i get out, a lot of people just stare at me cuz i'm weird as fuck and walk weird
They don't. You think they do due anxiety. Anyway, seek professional help.

>It's got the point where i rarely leave home. And when i get out, a lot of people just stare at me cuz i'm weird as fuck and walk weird. You know that feeling when you're so anxious that you dont even know how to walk properly or move your arms while doing so because you're self conscious about yourself?

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Your disorder is just made up nonsence, man the fuck up.

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>man the fuck up.
You know, when i was a teenager i thought it was just a phase. I thought it would just go away when i'd get older. I'm 24. Yes, im still pretty young, but i've missed so much in life because of this...
I'm still a virgin, of course, even though i don't get obsessed with it. Not an incel

>still a virgin
>Not an incel
I've got news for you, buddy boyo

Perhaps you were abused. Perhaps you DID have a traumatic experience user. For some, it happens as you described. A shock and awe experience that makes ones world seem bitter gray even in the brightest of days. For others, it could simply be a collapse from carrying the weight of the world and their knowledge.
C'est la vie.
All I know is that people are looking at you, likely because they too are trying to understand the moves.

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i...i'm afraid of birbs.....

You're me, but I'm even more autistic and am emotionally dull, so rather than feeling "anxious"/"sad"/etc, I don't even understand what some of these feelings are. On top of this, due to the more structured mindset instead of a feeling-based mindset, everything I see is through the lens of logic/rationality and it bugs the fuck out of people when/if I decide to engage in a topic at hand. When you remove the feelings from an argument/discussion, you're left with a somewhat robotic outlook and people do not seem to like that.

Well it seems that incel stands for "involuntary celibate", i don't think it is involuntary since i've never actively tried to have sex. If i did, then i'd probably have sex, of course. I just dont care about it

log out and reroll

You're a self described aspie and a 24 year old virgin. You're like a leper in the eyes of foids.

> i don't think it is involuntary since i've never actively tried to have sex. If i did, then i'd probably have sex, of course
No you wouldn't, keep coping.

You think too much, just MAN THE FUCK UP.
Do it NOW.

Its not. People do not understand the meaning behind incels. Incels are failed normalfags. People who desparately want to fit in, but fail to do so. This is where all the woman hate/anger/envy at successful people comes to be. Normalfags do not understand that some people do not crave socialization. So when they see someone who do not naturally chase women (regardless of failure/success), they immediately think that person must be suffering. If you're the kind of person who does not socialize normally, do not follow the convention of chasing after people. You'll suffer for the opposite reason normals do.

The best way to move forward is to embrace solitude.

I hate when retarded normies stare at me in public. It's gotten to the point that I just stare down anybody who looks at me. Seriously, what the FUCK are you looking at?

>Perhaps you were abused.
As i said, i have really bad long-term memory. I don't have many memories from my early childhood. In fact when i was 14 or so i took a blood test to see what was going with me, because my mother was somehow worried. All of this is a bit unrelated though. The blood test said everything was normal except for a severe lack of Vitamin D, cuz i'd never leave the house. The only traumatic event that i remember, was my relationship with my cousin. He was 1 year older than me, and i've always suspected he's just a psychopath. His father would beat him and his family was in general very fucked up. The kid was rude as fuck with me, but at the same time we were good friends. But it was more like a toxic friendship. He would fuck with me, insult me sometimes even beat me, humilliate me in front of his older friends etc. This was when i was 3-8 or so because to go to school my aunt (his mother) had to take me to school, because my parents were not in home at 8 in the morning to take me down school by car.

I really do dislike him. I remember one time when i was in my mum's car and she was about to leave me at my cousin's house and i begged her crying not do, i guess because the day before he did something to me or idk. That's the most traumatic thing i remember.
I'd keep writing more but this rude motherfucker will just tell me to "man up" so whatever

How? just tell me and i'll try man

>what was going with me
what was going on with me*

>and she was about to leave me at my cousin's house and i begged her crying not to

sorry for my enrgish

Diff user, but get a grip your balls and man tf up

>structured mindset instead of a feeling-based mindset, everything I see is through the lens of logic
I'm not really that much of a feels guy, i'm very logical (INTP) and always liked to discuss science. I don't publicly show any kind of feels usually, people have always told me "you look so serious" "he never talks rite?" kind of things

>t. someone who will get stabbed by a nigger someday

>they immediately think that person must be suffering
OP is literally about how he's suffering.

It's more like: coping incels rationalize their own failures by holding the delusion that they *want* to be social failures.

i don't think i have legit autism though.
>You're like a leper in the eyes of foids.
I'm not physically disgusting, but i'm not the best looking guy, of course.
>No you wouldn't, keep coping.
I don't believe what incels say. Statistically, if i tried, i'd get laid. But i just dont because i dont try to, i'm not THAT disconnected from the world to not realize this simple fact, i just dont really care about it as i said before

> If you're the kind of person who does not socialize normally, do not follow the convention of chasing after people. You'll suffer for the opposite reason normals do.
But are you sure it's healthy to continue living this way? completely isolated? for the rest of my life?

Yeah, it gets me mad as fuck. But i do not stare down anyone who looks at me, i rather just quickly look at them, then turn my view to another thing, but never the ground. It's not good for my spine to walk while looking down

/sci/ in a nutshell

This Put your hand on your balls and sqeeze them, not too hard but not too soft either, give them a firm squeeze, that will inject some extra test into your system. Everytime you start **thinking** about things instead of doing, squeeze your balls.

But i have a normal T level

That friendship with your cousin doesn't sound too nice. It might have inprinted some deep pathologies in how you relate to other people. I have a similar story with my best friend in primary school. This pattern continued with most of friends after that, one of which probably is a psychopath. You might want to look into something called co-narcissism, which explaines a dynamic often arising in skewed relationships.

And have some Hindemith:

Not OP, but gonna try that.

Congratulations. That very much qualifies you for a rude and early awakening. There are mean people in this world user.

They carry the pains of their fathers, their mothers, whatever it was and try to spread it, "it all they ever know". To unleash pain. Sorrow. Suffering unto the smallest of things, to make themselves desperately seem so tall in a world that easily makes you feel small. Their fears are well grounded after all, people like THEMSELVES exist. They are aware of it, on a fundamental level, think of it as their 'special hell', and you and me their merry guests. The heart of the matter is, forgive and remember, forgive and remind.

Don't take it personally. They cannot understand higher concepts like love or sacrifice. It is all self preservation to them.

Remind them that they are on the same boat though. I suppose, coming from where you are coming from, it is the only thing we can do, but what the hell would I know? I'm just a frog poster.

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>le depressed 5 year old
I hope you got PTSD as well from playing LEGOs

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I feel better that someone could relate to me. I suspect this first impression of what a Friend is, may have traumatized me, since i was really small at the time.
Now that i think about it, this pattern also continued with most of friends after that just as you said.
But there is a rare case, and that was in primary school. I was a loner, but i was too young to feel anxiety or being awkward. I made friends with a guy that was a bit like me. He was very smart so i could relate to him. We became best friends. He was better than me in any possible way, though. Had better grades, was good looking, taller... my friendship with this kid was a exception, because sometimes i'd treat him bad. Not physicially of course, because he was way stronger, but mentally. You know, now that i realize this, i feel bad for him. I was an asshole most of the time and made him cry some times. This is ironic, but he was me. When i looked at him i saw a reflection of my persona, we were very similar. He was my best friend and one of the few i ever had. You know what i realize now? i realize i was being like my cousin was to me. I just remembered something while writing this.

We were like 9, we were at school, at the cafeteria, eating. I dont remember exactly why, i guess i was being rude or something, but he started crying a bit in front of me. He told me i just call him a retard everyday, with my words and actions. I don't know why. But i told him i was doing to him what my cousing had done to me. I guess maybe i was jelly. He was awkward like me, but better in every other way. Maybe by being rude with him i was just projecting. Maybe that's what my cousin did to me? i was always the smart kid in the family, maybe he did not like that i was smarter and my parents treated me better? he would always tell me i was a "spoiled" kid, even though i come from a low income family while his family is rich and his father would always buy him everything. So hypocrite...

Based and redpilled

I just wrote what i thought was the most "traumatic" childhood experience. I'm not saying my life is harder than yours, or that mine was more traumatic dude. I know people at that age had to live worse things, like their parents dying or something. I know what i posted was not that traumatic and kind of cringe to read, but at the time i guess it may have changed me. Yes, i know people suffer worse things and i feel bad for you if you're one of them.

Just go outside and be a huge retard. If you start feeling over self conscious start yelling "LOOK AT THIS RETARD HE CAN'T EVEN WALK". Make retarded faces at everyone. Tell people you like tuna fish and peanut butter tacos. Start rolling across peoples' lawns. Sit on curbs and wiggle will muttering to yourself "Look at this fat retard sitting on the curb. What a me-tard the fat retard.".

I've thought of driving to a distant city where no one recognizes me and do this. I think it would help me and make me feel free. I feel like a retard now, i should have done this a long time ago

>avoidant personality disorder
STFU with this gayness. Don't label yourself with this jewishness.

You are all fucked up because you live a fucked up life which perpetuates your retardedness. If you don't socialize you will become anti social. If you don't practice being normal you will never become normal.

Start by eat twice a day, at noon and 5pm. No processed foods/junk foods. Eat low card. Eat fatty fish at least 1-2/week. Drink plenty of water. Go for an hour walk every day in the sun. Get the fuck off the computer. Make up adventures for yourself like like this:
You mission today is to complete the follow adventure without being detected as a full blown retard.
-->Get up at 0800
-->Get dressed and look normal
-->Take train to down town library. Ask librarian for history section. Take out book on the history of China.
-->Go home
-->Debrief mission. The librarian will probably detect your neckbeard autism. But you will get practice being normal.
Keep doing things like this. Make it a game. Have fun with your retarded self. Stop being a pussy bitch.

Yes do this. Drive to another city and buy a sandwich and have lunch. Be a weirdo or whatever. Say hi to someone. Be retarded. Who cares. You have to expose yourself to the world to become normal. Stop thinking and start acting.

I think i already have a healthy diet, normal weight, also i don't see how eating twice a day is more healthy than eating 4 or 5 times a day

That's a great way of ending up on Twitter and becoming a meme.

I guess it
s again low arousal emotion growing up among high arousal children.

BTW, East Asians and Jews are also commonly low arousal.

Very interesting. I have a similar experience pushing a couple good people away, but I have to say that what I have inflicted on others has been much more vanilla than what was inflicted on me. And I now understand that I am somewhat drawn to befriend assholes. Actually, I have become scared of people and now keep to myself as I see these patterns arise in almost every interaction I have. Even with my therapist which treated me like shit.

>But are you sure it's healthy to continue living this way? completely isolated? for the rest of my life?
There's a difference between being "lonely" and "living alone." The former is unhealthy and kills people. Later is healthy some individuals.

Now it seems more like you want to socialize but can't, that's very a unhealthy combination.

"It is another of the miraculous things about mankind that there is no pain nor passion that does not radiate to the ends of the earth. Let a man in a garret but burn with enough intensity and he will set fire to the world."
Antoine de Saint Exupéry

Isn't avoidant personality disorder pretty similar to the introverted narcissist? Both fear rejection and care a lot about how others view them, and both have a distorted view of reality.
The only difference is that the avoidant thinks he's hated instead of believing he's great. As if the difference was mostly just low/high agreeableness

>muh jews, muh broscience
>just stop being retarded and be normal lol
>do stupid arbitrary shit that I heard from my mentor JBP

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I would think avoidants are much nicer people than narcissists. Narcissists tend to excessively lie, manipulate, deceive, cheat, hurt, control, intimidate etc. without feeling much remorse. I have a hard time imagining avoidants acting like this to such an extent. In fact, I see none of that stuff in descriptions of the disorder. What is common is deep shame, but it seems they cope very differently.

If what you do does not work, change your behaviour.

Only women and mosquitoes keep repeating the same behaviour hoping it will somehow succeed one day.

Moral pretense.

Are you actually diagnosed with it or is it a self-diagnosis? Because a self-diagnosis doesn't mean shit

I didn't realise what strain this was taking on me until my mom told me that the root of this problem in my life is depression. "I'm not depressed? I'm a normal guy. I'm happy a lot of the time." Then I started to think about it. When was the last time I actually felt normal? Everything I do is so shrouded in shame and fear that even when I'm enjoying myself I'm still consumed deep within my own fears. It's all just a feeling of being out of place. So out of place that I'm not sure if I hate normies or completely envy them for their complete lack of care. A blessing and a curse, I've been forced to push the limits of what I can be in order to maybe find some peace within myself. The fault must be with in who I am, so I starting changing. My diet is now healthy. I exercise. I've removed social media. I'm fapping 80% less than I was a year ago. I wake up early. Go outside. Pray everyday now. But still, I just keep slipping further into this darkness. Maybe it's God's way of teaching me humility and compassion. Suffering builds character right? But I'm tired bros. I want off this ride. I want to just feel and think like a kid again. I know one day I might look back and be thankful that this period of my life resulted in me being moulded differently to everyone else but that day isn't coming anytime soon.

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