How do I get rid of my femdom kink? It's not that I'm tired of it necessarily...

How do I get rid of my femdom kink? It's not that I'm tired of it necessarily, I just know that most women would break up with me on the spot if I told them.

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Most kinks are just porn brained delusions. Step away from porn for a month. Switch to erotica if you need something, just don't look at video or anything more than /s/ images

But I've gone no-porn for months at a time and my kinks never went away. Even when I was like in 4th grade I remember having femdom type fantasies. I don't think they will ever go away for me.

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Oh, that's not good. When u start away from porn I am disgusted by most everything that isn't vanilla rough stuff

What is the appeal of femdom to you? Maybe exploring it from another angle will allow you to develop some disgust for it. I think a lot of fetishists would be disgusted by their own fetish if they actually acted it out IRL. With that in mind you could pay for a dominatrix. I don't think there is even a legal issue with that sort of thing if there is no sex

I mean, I'm not into anything that would be considered super gross, just tickling, orgasm denial, feet, """"normal"""" stuff at least as far as this goes.
I'm not sure why it's so appealing to me. Maybe because I've always been introverted and intimidated by women? I've also always been awkward and had low self-esteem, so a women dominating me would I guess solve both of those problems, because since she would be initiating and dominating, it would mean she actually likes me. I always thought that no women would ever like me, so one wanting me so bad she wants to hurt/control me is appealing I guess.
I live in the rural US and I'm a college student, there are no dominatrixes here and I don't have the money. It doesn't help that I'm at an engineering school with a 6-1 male/female ratio.

What are you trying to say here?

Are you purely sub or a switch? Because if you were 100% sub, I can see why that would be a dealbreaker for most chicks.

I guess I am a switch but I lean sub. I could dominate a bit, in fact I would enjoy it, but I would like to be submissive more often

You can keep a kink a fantasy and not act on it. Or you can persue it realistically, bare the hardships of identifying with it and make risks for the reward.
You are the only one in control of your desires. Dommes are just there to counterbalance and negotiate.