Has anyone here ever cheated? I had oneitis with my highschool sweetheart until she became an alcoholic party girl.
Now that some time has passed, I've started dating. I feel like I can't get attached to my current girlfriend seriously. I keep facing temptations that I have never been bothered by before.I have done nothing but flirt back with women that I never talk to again. Go out drinking with friends and flirt with girls long enough to get their numbers, then never call. It's almost like a fantasy of sorts.
I was just about to make a thread about cheating, but this is a good place to post this.
I just drunkenly kissed a random girl at a club this weekend. I've been with my gf for over 8 months and I've never felt as guilty about anything in my life. I told my buddy, and it seems like the best thing to do is to keep it to myself. I was nearly blackout drunk, and she was all over me even after I told her I had a girlfriend. It was a one time mistake that I know will never happen again, since I know I don't ever want the pain of this type of guilt anymore.
The only problem is waiting for the current guilt to go away. I know that telling her the truth would probably help, but it almost seems selfish to do so at this point. I'd be hurting her for no reason just to make myself feel better about my mistake, and I should bear this guilt as my punishment.
I hope it'll just become a distant drunk memory, or even better, forget about it completely, but I doubt that'll ever happen. The only thing I can do is be the best boyfriend I can possibly be, and promise myself to never put myself in a situation like that ever again.
I never knew I was capable of doing this until now. I always thought someone who kissed another person was absolutely unforgivable, but now I understand. Even if I found out that she did the same at some point, I know I could forgive her because sometimes these things can happen under the influence.
Full-blown sex on the other hand is a different story. I'm curious as to how many people have cheated in different ways, so I made a poll and will probably post it on another board, but I'll put a link here too:
I cheated on my gf 3 times, once with a milf. Had sex. I don't feel bad, since she doesn't want to have sex with me. Hell, she doesn't even initiate anything at all. Fuck that, I'm hungry and I'm not gonna starve.
dude i NEED to talk to you is there any way to contact you? i experienced your EXACT situation few months ago
i cheated on every gf i had so far except one. ive had over 30 girls that ive fucked around with, my record is 3 in the same day. i feel no remorse. ask me anything.
If you are gonna cheat; Don’t do it in the same town/area as you live, not with someone you already know, and dont give out your name and number. Ta-da, no one will ever know unless you spill the beans. But if you already care that little about someone, just break up. Much easier.
Cheating, and promiscuity in general, is inherently validation-seeking behavior.
If you want to get to the bottom of your urges and temptations, you have to get to the bottom of your doubts and insecurities.
Did you confess? Did you keep it inside? Have you gotten over your guilt? How long were you together? Details, man!
I've literally never had a relationship (either actual bf/gf relationship or FWB) where I was seeing only one girl. I've cheated on my first girlfriend with 5 different girls. I don't do those kinds of things anymore and looking back I regret being a huge fucking asshole. Now I just stick to being FWB with girls, but I have a lot of past experience. What do you want to know? Regarding your situation, I would advise you to be upfront with you gf and tell her you want to see other girls. It will feel like shit and she will cry but it's the only right thing to do.
It's honestly that I feel like I'll never be attached to anyone because of how big of a betrayal I have faced in the past. I wouldn't cheat on her and would break up first. I care about her but I am not in love. She is in love with me and says she will wait until I feel the same. I don't know if I ever will, but I don't think it's because of her. I think I am just too hurt to trust right now. I am taking my career by the balls and don't honestly have time for a serious relationship. I want to drop her because it just isn't fair to her.
I'm like that myself OP. People always say to work on yourself in times like this, and it does help. Focusing on your career might be what you need man. In any case I would leave her. Maybe just be friends for now.
I did once when I was much younger. Here's some pro tips from a kinda old fag:
It won't change, you'll always feel tempted if you're exposed to options, you'll always have periods of boredom in your relationship, you'll sometimes be weaker willed than other times.. so if you love your partner and you've got a good thing going with them:
-Stay away from places you'll be tempted (parties, some bars.) -Don't make friends with or contact women you are physically attracted to. Especially if it's mutual. Being acquainted is ok, sometimes it's unavoidable, but the more you're around them the more sexual tension can build. -if you're feeling bored of your relationship, take some space. Go away for a weekend, or a week with your pals. Even by yourself. Go camping or some shit. Let yourself miss her, there's nothing wrong with taking some time apart. -or take her on a nice date, enjoy yourself with her, try new things together, have fun. -if you aren't feeling bored or unattracted to her, but you are feeling you must fuck or gain the attention of other women, just jerk it. But in general also just deal with it. The feeling will go away.
Tl;Dr you aren't unique in how you're behaving right now. If you don't like it, stay away from triggering environments and women. If you don't want to do that, it's time to breakup.
Here's your Jow Forums gold, good advice
My uncle has cheated on every gf he's had since I've known him. He's a beast but also pretty empty inside. He goes for all the same type of girl which is lame, but still gets more cooch than me
Decide what you want first, either go bachelor or stay exclusive, you can't have it both ways. Besides, you're either going to have to marry this girl or break up. Cheating while married is a horrible idea, you've got a lot more to lose. So either control your temptations or stop being exclusive. After all, why make a promise you can't keep? I think it's important to have integrity. Having temptations is perfectly normal, but it's no excuse for bad behaviour
People like this, especially if they brag about it, usually have serious self worth issues and they need affirmation by fucking. Ive found anyway.
Honest question. I always see scenarios where guys cheat more than women in rl and on here. And then, the related complaint threads usually say something along the lines of "why are women such cheating, uncaring whores?"
To those who have cheated and don't feel any guilt, why is that?
Nah, he never brags. He tries to be secretive I think but still we always find out. Like his most recent girlfriend he was with for about 8 years and has been seeing another girl for the last 2. He's not exceptionally smart but is definitely normie tier.
The stats are pretty equal. Your perception will not be. Also it's not a given because you think men cheat more means a man who has been cheated on was cheating himself. I'll give you a sec to reread that... Anyway. Most people feel guilty about cheating. I've cheated (over a decade ago, ex gf) and if you had asked me in like the 5 minutes before it happened I'd have told you in all truth and sincerity I will never cheat in my life and it's disgusting. But one thing can lead to another. That's usually what happens. People find themselves disillusioned by an opportunity. It's a very powerful feeling and can really fuck with your head. Hence my advice here: It goes for men and women. Don't be around people you're attracted to, especially not in private situations.
Tl;Dr on what happened btw. Girl home alone. Invites me over to drink with her. I'm a naive fuck who didn't know anything I posted above and also too insecure to sense when a girl is trying to get something. She made the move, I didn't expect it, and then heat of the moment.
>mfw I'm a john and I've never needed a relationship
Because Jow Forums users are a self-selected sample of, well, beta males mainly. Men who are likely to get cheated on, or men who haven't had luck with dating and are bitter towards women. Take a look at a random basic bitch Instagram profile with memes and relatable content (female equivalent to Jow Forums basically) and every pic there is shitting on men and calling them cheaters, narcissists, fuckboys with no feelings etc. Men definitely cheat more, it's in our DNA. But the total number of men who cheat is probably lower than the number of females who do because a smaller percentage of men actually gets a chance to be with a woman if that makes sense.
Oh and one more thing, it seems to me men are MUCH more likely to actually feel really guilty and admit they've cheated. It's amazing. I've been cheated on two times that I know of (it was well deserved, in one case I cheated first and another I broke up with a girl like a million times and it was driving her crazy) and both times I've had suspicions that they've cheated to get back. I pushed them relentlessly to tell me if they did and they never admitted (even though it was well deserved), they started bawling and swearing on their moms and shit. I eventually found out from a third party who knew about it in both cases that they cheated. If a girl has plans to stay with you they'll never admit to cheat it, remember that. They'll rationalize it very well so they don't feel that guilty
Thank you for the informative replies. I was genuinely curious about this
nah, it happend TO me she told me the day after it happend i was soooo fucked up but If she didnt Tell me, Like you are Planing to, i would have broke Up in an instant
i however gave her a Second Chance but she was not "that" sorry about it she feld horrible, but Not for me, but for her
i broke up a month later because she didnt even try she was VERY sad but wanted to Break Up anyways
so fuck that
but you have to tell her, i dont give a shit If you dont, it makes you the asshole
and, you should Not Go drinking in a LONG time my ex went drinking 2 weeks later, even though she Said 2 months
>Smaller percentage of men I think the grand majority of people get into relationships. You come to a place concentrated with incels and subscribe to other circles like this. That doesn't reflect actual trends, it's a poor sample size. And fyi the rate of infidelity is equal among both sexes. You can't assume things based how how they "seem to you". That's not data. Bias affects all of us. The percentage of men who "don't get a chance with a woman" vs. women with men would be so low it would be negligible, because almost everyone regardless of gender do find partners. Multiple in their lifetimes.
>You can't assume things based how how they "seem to you" That's why I emphasised it's my own impression. You're probably right, I don't know. We're probably from different continents too, and completely different walks of life, and I always trust my own intuition primarily.
I missed the emphasis part. Sorry man. You seem reasonable enough. But yeah, intuition doesn't do shit. Human brains really suck at that. It's why we designed the scientific method and no civilisation ever really takes off without embracing it.
So it's cool she fucks other dudes too or does that only apply to you?
I've been fucking a married woman. I felt guilty the first time but I've been twisting it in my head to feel less so. She has been married since 18 and has had less than 5 partners. She is significantly older than I am. She does not love her husband and I just fuck her for fun. I never thought I would help someone else cheat.
My bf (both of us gay men) actually does this too. He does it to women all the time. He has 0 desire to sleep with them or even cheat on me. What he actually wants is to be chased and admired. He particularly gets off to rejecting people. He LOVES rejecting people (very sociopathic, i know. Its annoying.) He is very straight passing and your typical handsome gym rat, so women hit on him all the time.
But what really helped him was get tinder and use it whenever he needed a bit of attention. Use tinder to fulfill your needs of attention, but dont act out on them. Let your partner know right away why you have tinder and what you use it for. Being honest helps tremendously.