How do you even ask a girl out? Like what are the words?

How do you even ask a girl out? Like what are the words?

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Context please

I did once at my old job. She worked in a different part of the grocery store. During my break once I went over to her area. I lingered for a bit and then started sweating and vibrating. Eventually I walked up to her and in a choked voice said, "h-hey, I was wondering if you'd like to get lunch sometime." She laughed and said sure.
The date was awful and I felt sick for a week after the fact. Never asked a girl out since then, and never will.

Well people tell me I need to ask out girls to have any success but I don't know how to. Honestly I doubt they'll even say yes but why not? I don't have problems chatting them up, they'll just laugh it off and make an excuse.

That sounds pretty rough but at least you had the balls to do it user.

Here is what I did
>have crush on friend
>see she just got tinder
>she kept getting buzzing notifications on her phone while we were out together drinking
>opening tinder inches from my face
>knew it was literally now or never
>waited until we walked home
>before going into my house I stopped her
>looked her dead in the eyes
>"I know we usually only see each other with the other lads, but I was wondering if you'd be up for just hanging out, you and us sometime?"

It was something as lame as that, but she said sure, and our first "date" was a little awkward and embarrassing but fast forward a few months and I'm sleeping with her

So I think all that is important is you just do something!

>Well people tell me
Okay, but what are YOUR goals and intentions

It was rough and I hate myself for soiling my record. Now I can't truthfully say I never asked a girl out, although I might as well not have. Doesn't matter because I'll never do it again

everyone is different and always changing. anything can work and everything will fail. for safety's sake be up front, accept only the same.

a basic greeting: Hi I'm OP and I think you're cute. would you like together for a meal?
now with flavour: ola maman, je suis OP. vous este mignon, wanna get dejuener?
repeat: hi cutie I'm OP the best. What say you on a little Ihop din din?
once more to get tbe point accross: ey bitch how's yo mama? doin' good alright. now listen, I'm fixin' up somethin. you hungry? I know you're hungry. why don't you come with me, I'll give you somethin' good to eat. we can just talk. that's all I want to do, get to know you. my name is OP, is that all right?

so you want your intention to come across, the words don't matter if you know how to talk.

What the fuck am I reading

Well I want to date someone, obviously. It must be nice to love someone in a romantic way.

>ask a girl

Never ask a girl anything.
“You want a ride on my motorcycle. You’re going to have to put on this helmet first. Here, let me help you put it on...”
The end.

Hon hon hon hon hon ! Forgot that part to add more flavor. Trust me.

Directly. With a yes/no response, and accept whatever she says. This is where guys mess up a lot.

They either do it indirectly (creepy) way like "hey i'm going to blah this weekend you can come if you want". This is bad because your intentions are not clear. Are you just friends? Is this a date? Will others be there? Do you normally do this?
Remember: ambiguity = creepy. Be direct and shameless.

The other half is the yes/no response. Some guys reaaaaaly want the girl to say yes. They want it so badly, that they'll pout like a little boy if she says no. She will feel this pressure. If you pressure her like this, then it's not a question anymore, it's a command. It's just super immature. So you just need to prepare yourself for both the yes and the no, and handle each with compassion.

So how do you do it? And when?
The MOMENT you feel it in your heart. Even if you never spoke to her, or if you known her for years, don't hide it and don't feel shame.

A girl you just met:
"Hi my name is user, what's your name?"
"Anonette would you like to go out with me?"

This is very good because it's direct, she knows exactly what you're asking and why you're doing it. There's no ambiguity. Also you gave her the full choice (and no pressure) to say no. Or to say yes. You really laid the choice on her. Girls like feeling this. Even if she says no, you'll have made her day because she'll feel validated because a guy asked her out.

A girl you've know for a while:
You can say something relevant or personalized, fine. But when it comes the moment, it's very quick:
"Would you like to go out with me?"
"What, like out on a date?"
"Like out on a date."
"I... didn't expect this..."
"So is that a no?"
"Of course I want to go out with you!"

In this case, if she instead doesn't give you a yes/no, you have the right to remind her "Indecision is a decision, too."

>Hi, calm down lady, I’m only asking for coffee

>be in pleasant conversation
>Discuss mutual interest, e.g. natural science
>"You know what I loved as a kid? The planetarium. We should go there!"
>Make plans
>We drove a ways, may as well have dinner too
>We know by that point we really like each other
>Suggest going to park in a joking way, she accepts in joking way
>Mess around in car at park although no penetration
>Fast forward to present moment (many years later) she's sleeping in beside me, baby in next room, me derping on 4chams on mobile with my fat fingers

All gonna make it, just b urself, etc.

I'm really happy for you and imma let you finish but that initial invite is too vague, it sounds like you're two buddies going on a trip. I suppose it worked in 2004 I don't know.

That's worth examining. Where did the date begin, exactly? It just happened organically with no real pressure on either of us at any stage that it was or wasn't a date.

We had mutual interests, found a pretext to spend time together on it, blossomed into romance (your mileage may vary)

Nobody said what's the correct response if she says no...

You say okay and move on to the next

he's right tho, he used the context of the convo to ask her out very casually and without pressure, i've done it and it works

>be in a pleasant convo
>discuss mutual interests
>she mentions the pineapple on pizza = bad meme
>"oh you have to try this pizza at x place"
>"we need to go out someday and try it"
etc, etc

first time i got rejected i just kind of stood there for a minute, said "okay" and walked away. pretty appropriate response imo.

aren't you a modern man?

>How dare you, you wench?

Don't forget to challenge her to a duel.

>have any conversation
>continue conversation another time, another place, lets say coffee or w/e

Take your dick out and ask her how she wants it

how autistic are you exactly

Spam missing pings.

Ah, the classic nigga move

If you're asking you can't do it.

No shit, do you have any other pearls of wisdom you negative nancy


No idea, but don't do what I did.
>just go up to some girl you stared at for months and ask to get to know her better

rape them

thing is, you don't need to anymore. for the most part at least. online dating/meeting folks has become increasingly the norm that what, 40% of all couples now have met online/through dating apps? essentially just match with folks, talk to them, then like, if you two are honestly hitting off just go like 'hey, i think this is going pretty well, wanna meet up? on a date?'

bam. those are the words. you just gotta handle all the steps to there on your own.

Yeah but what about irl?

irl you have sex, dummy

I like this post. Great advice.

Tsk, and I thought you had great taste in men.. but apparently, I was mistaken.
You could've been up there with the stars, you and me.. too bad it'll be a better gal instead

works every time

how is "you can come if you want" creepy? he is being non confrontational and just gives her info so she can decide whatever she wants. "creepy" is such a buzzword people use about men that they dont like

it's indecisive because sometimes you dont need to decide and label everything. it keeps people on their toes when you are not bowing down to them and not telling them what you really want. because once you spill yourself out, you've got nothing left.

from my experience, being subtle and non-assertive has worked like charm. most people are inherently egotistical and they jump on any chance for approval, 99% of times it's how an actual attraction is born

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