Feeling stuck in my almost 3 year relationship

So i've liked this guy for more than 5 years and we're togheter for 3 years. He doesn't ever do anything romantic. I can accept that, but it's not only that.
>never initiates convo, but he is always in a call with friends
>never called me
>never visited me at my work, even though i asked him for like 100 times
> never bought me flowers or anything small (i get him alot of gifts and made food for him)
>he lets me pay for almost every meal and sends me alone to the store to get it
>selfish in bed, doesnt touch me and doesnt care if he hurts me.
>If i express discomfort, he raises his voice
I have told him many times that this bothers me and he told he would change, but it never happens.
I am so tired of this. I was never the type to break up and i always wanted to discuss things and make it better, but I can't if he is being a stuck up autist.
He was/is the love of my life.. I'm scared I will never find anyone with the same niche humor and morals

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tell him straight up that its not working and you are leaving. he will only get the hint when you are gone. its not worth investing so much time and energy into a person who is not reciprocating.

i have tried to leave, but i always come back like the little cuck i am.

do you live together? stop doing so much for him!! he is using you!!

no, but i visit him often, because i hate sleeping alone.

I am 100% sute you will find somebody good for you. Never get stuck in a relationship you qre hunhappy with just cause "you might not find anybody like x".

What are your humour and morals anyway? They cant be that uncommon

I wouldn't recommend leaving him outright.
You underestimate the power a man has to change

fuck that. he had 3+ years to change. You cannot waste anymore time on this jizz stain.

OP you're a codependent with a Narcissist, or at the very least an emotionally unavailable person who won't change. Leave them, get therapy, be happy as a single person, then find someone who is also happy as a single person. Good luck,

they are rare in my area and the only men who are similiar are friends of ours.

I dont want to, but he is literally autistic and i feel like he will never change. He agrees on some points, but chooses the next day to ignore them

you're right with me being codependent. therapy is not for me and i have grown a lot. i just dont want to find another person. i want him to change.

but i also dont want to be stupid and waste my time, idk man. im just very confused.

As far as you know. You can always find somebody slightly different and share your values with them?

i guess, but i have too much baggage from my background and not many are willing to deal with that

It cant be that fucking bad. Also still not good enough reason to stay in a bad relationship.

What did you do in the past?

its my family. i was neglected and abused. they're also muslim and im a closeted nonbeliever

Sorry to hear you were abused. Thats no reason to be kept abused though. From what you told us your bf is abusing you.

Learn to be independent and single if need, dont stay in a toxic relationship just because he is the only option you currently have. Come on now..

he is not abusive. its just alot of small things that pile up. i dont know what to say

>doesn't care if he hurts me
>raises his voice

Your words user, not mine. You are in a shitty toxic relationship. Leave!

For your sake, please..

i will try

I doubt he doesn't care if he hurts you.
Express your emotions more clearly, and give him an ultimatum that if he doesn't start treating you right you'll leave him

You will not try

You will do..

implying i didnt try this a million times and even had breaks from our relationship