It’s over. She got a boyfriend

what makes you think that its your mental state?

I’m pretty sure that’s why she didn’t want to be with me. Like 80% sure.

if it is true, you have something to work on for future relationships, or you will find someone who is a better fit for you. Also you should learn from this to not have put someone on a pedestal like this.
Don't resent her too much for this, just work on yourself and find someone else. Tons of people will want to help you work through your issues assuming you are not abusive.

I don’t really resent her. I expected it honestly, just didn’t think it would happen this soon.
And that’s the most insulting part, she said she wanted to help me get better. And she didn’t. She just made everything worse

>having a oneitis
There's issue number one. Once you have a oneitis you should realize it will never happen and look else where. The true long term relationship is fi ding a girl you think is alright and then learning to love her a lot once you get to know her. Especially if you aren't good with women.
>male below 5'11 and/or balding.
Only morons think this. Contrary to popular belief normal/short men can get hot women. You just need to compensate for it with another quality. If I see a height requirement in a bio I immediately ignore it because even women don't realize what they will accept when faced with it. Being funny/confident overcomes a LOT of other "flaws".

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>didn’t think it would happen this soon
its not soon, you had 4 fucking years to close the deal and wouldn't or couldn't. I'm surprised it took her this long to find a guy she's compatible with so that tells me she's not some great find but average at best.

I mean from when we were close/dating, and she just turned 18. I’m a few months older than her
She’s had a ton of attention from guys, just turned it down for various reasons.

I didn’t choose the oneitis. I hated that I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
The height thing was a meme. I really don’t care or believe that’s a big deal

Maybe she wanted to get better as a friends and a relationship just wasn't right at the time? I don't think someone who was your friend for so long genuinely meant to hurt you.
I don't know much about your situation as I am not you, but could you also understand from her side how being in a relationship could be hard if she continues to talk to someone she dated recently for a long enough time, while also giving time and energy to him for his mental stuff? Sure its a bit bleh of her to not be upfront to you about it, but people are not good at expressing their feelings.

If she wanted to get closer that’d be fine, but she distanced herself from me.

See You are just another case.

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So you are like 18? You have like 50 more years to find another girl. There will be tons of people in your 20's to find love, happiness, and possibly more heartbreak with.
You spent 4 years? Oh well. Just accept that it would not have worked out between you two and work on getting better.

I mean that’s not at all what happened but whatever
She still openly thinks I’m attractive and says as much

I mean I had a crush on her for 2, and we became close friends for ~1.5, and things have been weird for the last ~6 Months since they met

And? I still think my ex is cute, and she might think I am too, but we are not together for reasons outside of that.

Stop being pic related, find new girl AND ASK HER ON DATE instead of wasting 4 years of your life.

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Saying you see someone as a sibling is code for “I don’t find you attractive”

You had plenty of time and the weirdness was probably coming from you after she met him and she was just reacting to you and now she has done the right thing by her new bf and cut off a guy she knows wants her.

Lots of people don't keep the friends they had when young, just accept yall are prob not going to be friends, or lovers, or anything.
you are an adult now and you have learned lessons. Don't have a crush on someone forever without action. Don't fucking become close friends with someone you have a crush on, its a bit messed up to expect them to reciprocate those feelings in full when they do come up. No shit it's weird, yall are young and still figuring out how to express yourselves and your feelings.

Its code for "I find our relationship valuable, but I don't see us dating" Being attracted to someone is part of, not the entire reason people date someone else.

you'd be right here complaining your gf was still talking to her friend, that wanted her, if you were the guy fucking this girl and the other guy the friend.

She never said she just wanted to be friends, or anything to that effect

I had a crush on her, became friends with her, lost that crush, and then she came on to me. She initiated that relationship. And then after that I couldn’t stop wanting her
I should’ve made that clear in the op

It takes two to tango. If you didn't want any part of an actual relationship, you should have just told her you would rather stay friends.
Relationships always end, due to death, or just people not liking each other like that anymore.
Its not her fault you "couldn't stop wanting her"

I didn’t actively want her, but she’s an attractive girl who I get along very well with. Not to mention the however long I had a crush on her, of course I’d at least give it a shot.
It’s not her fault I couldn’t stop thinking about her, what is her fault is not making it clear at any point after the relationship how she truly felt about me

op, get out more and meet someone else, being this unhealthily attatched to someone who never had any other intentions than platonic pleasantries with you is actually worrying on a deep level

Like I said before, chalk it up to you both being young and her not knowing how to handle this stuff. 12 months from now, this will be a distant memory, so don't get too hung up on it.

I’m extremely fucking picky about who I find attractive. I don’t want to be that picky, I just am.
> inb4 gay
No, I’ve never found a guy actually attractive.
I can see someone and go “they’re good looking/attractive/cute” but for me to be actually attracted to them, that’s far rarer.

You dumb piece of shit. You’re 18, the world is open to you, and you’re acting like a fucking faggot over a girl.

> 12 months from more this will be a distant memory
That’s what I told myself a year ago

Most people beyond a one night stand are too. Again you are 18, and have been lusting after the same girl since you were 14. Your tastes are bound to change, and even if they don't I can assure you there are more girls of your type out there.

as a gay person i can tell youre straight just from your sexually frustrated, overly masculine demeanour

stop having stupidly high standards because clearly, by this thread, it hasn't worked out for you and its made you into a jaded narcissist who thinks just by knowing someone for a few years and revering them in some creepy near-idolic way, youre entitled to love and sex

shit doesnt work that way, it never has and it never will, and you'll learn and become much more socially mature through these experiences, but you gotta let yourself have said experiences

why else are you on Jow Forums if youre not really gonna take any advice, just cry to a bunch of weirdos like me online and hope this girl who clearly isnt into you magically decides to suck your dick?

I mean a year from you putting this behind you and going to live life not worrying about this chick. Just block her on social media and get get away, as its obviously unhealthy for you.

> stop having high standards
If only it was that easy.
I don’t think I’m entitled to love, it’s my dumb ass fault for not being able to let go. But it’s also hers.
And I didn’t know her for a few years, I’ve known her for about 16 years. When she wanted to date me I wasn’t even crushing on her anymore.

Dude just forget about her and stop posting. Your story has gone from crushing on her for 4 years to "well I didn't actually crush on her all those years" to now knowing her for 16 years.
If its her fault (which how you are acting now isn't) then just remove her from your life and keep moving on.
Shes not complaining about HER LIFE BEING OVER to people on Jow Forums, you are. She's prob sucking some good dick right now and you need to get yourself out there to get your dick sucked too.

You just now realize that all the shit about hair, height, dick size and facial bone structure is just memes?

>oneitis of 4 years
You are like a little baby. Try 9 years.
Someone please save me.

So basically you were a beta orbiter for 4 years, didn't even really try to make a move on this girl and make her your girlfriend, either that or she was never really as into you as you thought she was. Not only that but you strung yourself along for 4 years being deluded into thinking that the right moment just hasn't happened yet, she just hasn't seen how great of a guy I am! That's 4 years that you could have spent actually trying to improve yourself and find a new girl. You deserve to learn the hard way on this. You clearly derive all your self worth from women and like most people, you have no concept of living your life outside work and dating. I hope you're not older than 25 because there's still time to learn at that point but god help you if you're 30 and you still allowed this shit to happen.

Wait what does that mean exactly

>oneitis of 4 years
Jesus. If you ain’t with her after 4 years, move on you fag.

And yet, she is fucking dudes who are not you. Stop being a beta faggot, move on.

Thinking only about this one girl, for 9 years. Self-rejecting myself in every situation where I had chances with other girls.
Rationally, I know she is not the one for me, and it's time to move on... yet I am still emotionally attached. There is so much wrong with her, I tell this to myself every day, but I just can't stop wanting to be with her. I am sick

Like I said OP, women look for these things in a serious relationship.
1.Confidence
2.Decent job or function in society
3.Looks.

You need all three and the third one can vary greatly from person to person. I can almost guarantee a short bald dude working as a janitor isn't going to get anyone above average.

Anyway, they're together now but who knows how long this will last so there's that.

And I thought I was a retard

this site only promised you one thing; autistic, pathetic sissies like you don't get to have sex. you're below any baldness, shortness, whatever you want to add there. and easy on the tequila there, chief, you don't want to end up in the hospital from alcohol poisoning lol

I had a very similar experience when I was about 20 OP. Liked a girl for years but she had a boyfriend. She broke up with him and immediately got a different boyfriend. She purposefully never told me about the new boyfriend but she told every single one of our mutual friends (she knew I liked her).

Finally a couple of years later she broke up with that boyfriend and I asked her out. We dated on and off for a year and it was honestly one of the most emotionally destroying experiences of my life. She was very hot and cold and ended up cheating.

Don’t go after girls who aren’t romantically interested in you. If you find yourself starting to fall for a girl who doesn’t like you just cut off contact. Those romance movies where people suddenly realise that their best friend is the right one for them are a literal meme.

Stick to dating girls that are attracted to you. I assure you that you will be 1000 times happier in the end.

holy fuck dude. you ever try moving out the country?

I haven't considered it, and it seems quite scary to leave everything behind, especially my job and the few friends I have.
Don't waste your advice on me, I'm too afraid to make any big changes.