>Went on first date ever a month ago with a total qt >Thought it went great, had her laughing and chatting the whole time >Talk about setting up 2nd date >She thinks it's a good idea >Actually ask her a few days later >Says she's real busy until graduation, but will "figure something out after" >Okay >After Graduation >Try to ask her out again >She tells me she's "too busy" with work as a babysitter due to summer break >Tell her to text me if she ever gets any free time >Been a mon month since we last even interacted Was I a fool bros?
I tried asking for advice on /v/, and they said it was like a test or something, and that I should ask again even though it's been a month. Should I?
>a month Sounds like she's just flaking her way out of it. Sorry bro
If someone doesn't have time for you there's nothing you can do but find someone who does. Maybe she's busy maybe not. You'll get used to it
>"hey how's it going? I'm getting a ticket for Spider-Man at 8pm next Monday, want me to get you one too?" If she says no you can just ask how she's been and how the babysitting job is going. How old the kids are, stories about bad kids, etc. If she says yes, ask if she can meet you a couple hours before showtime for a burger or something, ask how she's been, and save the babysitting questions as conversation topics.
The thing is I actually tried texting her about a week after she told me she was so busy with babysitting. Just to see how she was doing and try to work in asking another date. She didn't really seem particularly interested in talking, though she did mention she was driving them around a lot during it. I tried to keep things going, but at one point she just stopped responding. I hoped she'd get back to me or try texting me, but she didn't. Never even got the chance to try and ask about a date.
I feel like she just forgot about me. I was always the one initiating things. It's like she doesn't even care. That I'm the only one putting in an effort
>things go well, she doesn't want to put a specific time/date in place >she lets me down gently and I don't accept it >I keep trying more after being let down gently >we haven't spoke in a month
Don't pester her, if she wanted to see you again she would have kept in touch with you.
>Let me down easily That's a nice way of saying she didn't care or respect me enough to be honest with me as a person. If she didn't want to go on another date, she should've just told me instead of stringing me along or keeping me in her back pocket just in case she can't get anyone else The whole reason I haven't tried anything in a month is because I didn't WANT to pester her. I figured I'd come off like an idiot.
For the most part, someone is never too busy to find time to see someone they are truly interested in dating
>There are however exceptions to this, but in general this is true
If a girl wants to see you she will make time
If a girl isn't interested, wants to keep you as a backup, or is dating someone else but wants you to keep chasing she will say she is too busy right now
Don't waste your time on people who aren't interested its a numbers game man instead of spending your time hoping this one will work out you could be finding someone better who will respond to you.
A side note why do women feel like its okay to ghost people? I never ghost anyone I will always tell them I'm not interested, I feel like its fucked up to play games with people like that instead of making your feelings clear.
Just move on, user. It happens to everyone. Find someone that wants to spend time with you as much as you want to with them.
It's done user, i'm sorry. So many times i've had a fun date only to get no reply. Delete her number. Also, try getting a kiss by the end of the date.
Bet u didn’t break the touch barrier. And u fucked it up by not setting in stone a second date when u guys were talking about it
>Kiss Even on the first one? Wouldn't that be awkward or weird? I don't have much experience dating, and I know I must sound like a total virgin saying this, but I always thought stuff like that would be reserved for a 2nd or 3rd date. I don't wanna feel like I'm forcing it or going to fast or anything. I got a hug out of the date, and I felt pretty good about that. My parents and siblings all acted like that was normal. Did I do something wrong by not trying to kiss her?
I feel exactly the same way and was overanalyzing this scenario in retrospect too. I did do it once to a girl who did not respond back after the first date and it seemed like she forced herself to enjoy it but wasn’t asking for it. Its much less awkward not do it just in case, unless you guys cant keep your faces away from each other. Trust me the instinct will come.
mate she's not keeping you in her back pocket
you come off strange if that's how you feel from her trying to let you down gently
I'm sorry, but that is just how I feel She is very desirable girl. Tons of guys like her. The only reason I felt I had a chance getting with her is because A) she's said I'm attractive before B) she just recently broke up her boyfriend and C) the week of doing so, she gave me her phone number for some homework problems It all just lined up perfectly But I knew then, and I know now that I wasn't the most attractive or desirable guy that was interested in her. There's tons of better dudes she could be with, and her just "letting me down gently" makes it feel like she didn't want to straight reject me just in case. I know that must sound ridiculous but it's how I feel. I felt like I got played with
eh it happens, no way of knowing if she intentionally was playing with you or just avoiding conflict (not everyone can be blunt or harshly truthful)
my serious advice is to give benefit of the doubt, learn what you can and don't overthink it too much - most people have similar stories
>the instinct will come. I figured the same thing. Like it would naturally come to me. That didn't happen on the date. It would've felt like I was forcing it, and I don't want to do that. But a lot of people I've asked on other boards insist I should tried for one. It's very confusing...
She's trying to be nice by sparing you the embarrassment of outright rejection. But yes, she's lost interest.
>A side note why do women feel like its okay to ghost people? Sometimes they want to be nice and avoid outright rejection. Sometimes they are afraid of doing outright rejection because the guy might overreact or sperg out or something or they are just not confident in doing it.