Girlfriend dumped me this monday to go back to her ex and i still havent got over it.
What hurts the most is how indifferent she seemed about me when she did it
I guess all that talk about "love" and "im here for you" never really meant anything. All it took was one visit from the guy and she discarded me like i was nothing.
I cant stop thinking about how she must be really happy right now in the "honeymoon phase" of the relashionship with him and im the last thing on her mind while im here alone in my room remembering the things we did/said and being miserable.
Im scared of being involved with another person now because i dont wanna go through this ever again. It was the first time i ever got this close to someone.
Sorry for venting, i dont have anyone to talk about this with.
Girlfriend dumped me this monday to go back to her ex and i still havent got over it
Girlfriend dumped me this monday to go back to her ex and i still havent got over it.
Well it's okay to vent dude, Stay strong and afcorse sometimes crying about it helps too, umm well I vent all the time to my Friends, and well umm the internet is also a good place to do it. As long as you ingnore the kill yourself comments. And sorry because I further don't know what advice to give you about when you lose a gf, I only have been rejected like 4times even though I'm a nice looking guy I think, and I have been in a year long obsessive love crying thjngy about a girl whom I'm still in the Friendzone with althoug I am past the absessive loving thank God, and well at home Life sucks my dad wants that I get kicked out of home and I'm only 20jrs and well life fucks you over and over, but you should never give up!, even though you might be afraid of it dude, just keep going and well it might take a year/s or a month, but You'll get over her. Goodluck out there (sorry for rambling on about my life)
Been through a similar tthing, I am in a happy relationship now, but the thing it did to me was that its always at the back of my mind what if the same thing happens again, even after years of a relationship, you will always think you will get fucked over for the same reason again, because why are you more important then their previous partner when you are not and probably they still love their previous partner since most people are weak like that and just find a grandma whose husband has died and then u have nothing to worry about like you cant get dichted for a dead person.
It can't happen again if you don't let it. You can still have a serious long term relationship without this happening again. Break ups may happen but it doesn't have to affect you like this.
I belive it's YOUR fault when you get hurt by a woman. It's your fault for putting yourself in that position.
And yeah, girls will completely change overnight. Big difference between them and men is that they wait until another safe opportunity is secured before leaving. That's true most of the time.
it will happen again many times you might do it yourself
we live in a free society where we can do what we want. you can focus on the bad times turning your world into a hell or you can let the good times roll
How you approach this is up to you. Women will always toss you away like a broken dildo. You have to remove your emotional weaknesses to ever be able to handle this in a way that makes you stay attractive. You cannot cry. You cannot complain. You cannot wonder what you did wrong. You must accept that every woman will do this. You simply have to be the guy she is for leaving her old one for.
This is because of all those faggots saying "fuck tradition" societal norms and traditions existed for a reason now becuase of the hippie liberals we are no better than animal seeking instant gratification
I cant stop thinking about her and she couldnt care less about me.
How long will i stay like this? I dont even want her back, i just want it to stop hurting
You'll be like that for a while, and then you won't be. This may be the greatest thing to ever happen to you because of the self improvement it will lead you to.
You are a weak man. She knows this and is why she had no quarrel discarding you. Either become a real man or be subjected to repeating this cycle your whole life. Stop feeling weakness, sadness, and so on.
You're right. But how do i become stronger?
See my earlier post
Basically, destroy any feelings you have towards life, at the very least the negative ones. Anything that projects weakness has to go.
Ok, i think i get it.
For example, ive been thinking a lot about this since she left and i think most of everything i did wrong in this relashionship happened because of me being insecure and needy.
But how exactly do i destroy these two feelings? What do i have to do?
don't give in to their bullshit
you are not weak
you have to get used to dating
Get hurt again.
Same with muscles, or learning something. Your undeveloped shit aches like it's fucking broken, your ego's bruised because you get a big fat D back on an exam, and you know a little bit more about where you're at and where you can be going.
So with women, half of the problem with guys is a lack of perspective. You know how you got your first job and you were just SO FUCKING PSYCHED ABOUT IT until you realized that most other people don't have to get up at 3 in the morning or give up every Friday and Saturday night for menial labor? It's like that. You don't realize how fucking incredible a woman can actually be, because you were getting your dick sucked for a bit.
When you "actually" get hurt, by a woman who's worth a shit, it's going to fucking break you, but you won't regret it, or the trail of slags like this you had to fuck your way through to get there.
Insecurity stems from you expecting too much of yourself or unfairly comparing yourself to others. The best way to cure this is to simply become stronger mentally and physically. You can't make yourself taller (well, you can) but you can tone your body. Similarly, you can't make yourself more intelligent but you can educate yourself. Find where the insecurity comes from and see if you can address it directly.
This is easier. It is a clear cut example of emotional weakness. You are not self-fulfilled and need to find completeness in other people. Treating you insecurities will help or cure this. If not, you will have to accept that you have to find everything you need internally.
This is why people tell you not to get attached. This is also why dating girls you don't think are all that great is a better idea long term, you don't treat them like they are the one.
All the things you learn from media and movies is wrong and bad in the long term. It's sucks because you want to a girl that you really cherish and you want to show her all the time. But that shits boring for them. They need that rollar coaster of emotion of fighting all the time and trying to win your approval. The moment she's "got" you is the moment she starts losing interest.
Today has been pretty tough. I havent been able to stop thinking about her the whole day.
I kept trying to find something to keep my mind busy but as soon as i slip for one second, there she is and i start thinking about where she is right now, what she's doing with him, remembering things, etc.
Fuck, i wish i could just kill all these feelings and become a sociopath.
I went through the same situation as you OP. I met this girl, immediately became infatuated with her, we become friends and she ends up leaving her boyfriend for me. She was the first real "relationship" I ever had in my life.
A few months later she texted the guy one night and decided to drop me and go back to him right away. Complexly soul crushing as I had let myself get really close to her. I take a bit of solace in the fact that their relationship was broken from before I met her and it will never work out, just end up in more heartbreak for the boyfriend. I am honestly not even jealous of him besides that fact that she is great at sex and he gets to fuck her for a longer period of time. I almost pity him, as she is crazy and will almost certainly cheat on him again.
I still think about her and miss her every single day though, here I am replying to this thread talking about her when I should just get the fuck over it.
Good luck my man
>she is crazy
This right here is the key problem. Every man should learn how to identify a damaged girl and fuck off or at least not get attached.
I know i sound like an asshole when i speak like this, but nothing good ever comes out of a relashionship with this kind of woman. She'll hurt you and leave you emotionally drained from dealing with her bullshit. If you cant keep feelings out of it, you're better off not getting involved at all and staying alone.
She was hot and horny and seemed like she cared about me. That's all I wanted man.
like all love is temporary u know maybe it was real at the time
Same. I noticed a bunch of redflags since our first date, but i ignored them because she was the first girl to show me that kind of affection in years.
>maybe it was real at the time
Thats what she said. But it makes no sense to me how she could love in a moment and then just not care anymore after one conversation with her ex.
What's even more confusing is how, based on what she told me before, this guy is a complete asshole. He cheated on her multiple times, forced her to stop talking to some friends, was jealous to the point of being obssessive and even hit her once. And she went back to him. Why?
Yup, we have many mutual friends who all say the guy is toxic. She has been avoiding me at meetups and isolating herself from other friends who thought she should have left this dude long before I ever met her. It's kind of sad because I think she may have been happier with me because I have a laid back personality that let her open up more, but who really knows but she made her choice.