I'm going here because I know you lot will be brutally honest
>Be me, female >Interested in male at the gym >I can't help but look at him sometimes >I'm positive he caught me looking a few times >Now I sometimes catch him looking at me >He has even worked out directly infront of me before >even when I moved he moved back into my line of sight in a gym that's quite large >Despite catching me looking he hasn't changed gym times or routine >The issue is I'm deathly shy and he hasn't approached me >I can't tell if he isn't interested or wants me to make the first move >I'm so shy i feel my face get hot whenever he looks at me and I get this stupid smile on my face >Has never appeared with a girl so maybe single? >But he's caught me looking at him, so will talking to him now.make me creepy?
What the fuck do i do? How do I break the ice? Or do I avoid it all together and just avoid him because I'm being annoying?
in any case, he probably won't approach you. basically now a days you can't be too careful to not seem like a creep or rapey dude.
just because a girl stares at you doesn't necessarily mean she's into you
he ain't tryna catch a #metoo moment you catch my drift roastie?
Well, you can tell him that you need to do more squats or bench presses or butterfly presses or whatever excuse you wanna come up with and you noticed that he's got good form and nice ____ muscles and you've been trying not to be too obvious about watching him and trying to learn from him. This gives you a way to approach and start a conversation that is a safe neutral territory to begin dialog with each other. Once the ice is broken, then it's game on. Introduce yourself properly and begin getting to know each other better. Maybe ask if he wouldn't mind helping to spot you during your time on the bench? You guys have healthy ideas in common, so that's a great place to begin.
Good job, sis! I wish you luck with your new gym qt! Make sure he's single though - don't wanna be caught in a game.
Protip nobody is ready for anything, they just wing it.
Kek, this is great. Fuck off roastie
>this is the mind of a women Just ask for a date, if hes single he will say yes 100% of the time. It's literally that fucking easy as a women. Your not a man, you will not get outright refused, you will not get police called on you for being a "creep", you will not be shamed, literally nothing bad happens to women who ask for a date.
>I just really was hoping I wasn't coming off as a creep or upsetting him. Men don't think of women this way.
Man, two unoriginal uses of Jow Forums lingo in less than 6 posts in. The Incels are in full force this Saturday morning. They tend to cockroach together in threads and circlejerk each other, OP. Ignore them.
Gettin toastie lmao. Maybe she should, oh, I don't know, approach the Chad she's interested in? Oh no, no, no. Can't have that, now could we?
You realize that as a woman the only way it's possible for you to come off as creepy to a random guy is to grab him by the neck from behind or to make your first conversation about torturing small animals or that you've been secretly taking photos of him right?
Like almost nothing you could normally say would be perceived as creepy by a random guy, even something like "you are cute" will probably be fine
OP's post made me cry.
>be 32-year-old male >no woman has ever, EVER approached you >you read this fucking thread about a girl asking on how to approach some douche
Why do you systematically make threads that get to me. I thought only guys make moves, but apparently every guy gets picked up by a hot 5/5 girl and I was just the only one left out. How do I cope? Help me.
As someone that works out 5-6 days a week for about an hour and a half for the last 3.5 years I can say
If a woman is using a machine or weights and I go over there it's because it's what I want to use next
If a woman smiles at me 9/10 times I am caught off guard and don't smile back because I am focused on what I am going to be doing next or thinking about something
I am usually amped up on preworkout and caffeine and feel a physical need to exert energy
I have dated several women since I have started lifting but never have gone to the gym with a girlfriend or girl I was fucking
The few times I have talked to a girl it was never my intention to hit on them
When I catch a woman staring at me when I exercise I don't ever assume she was checking me out
I am not socially retarded and have no problem talking to women, but our current society pretty much shames men for pursuing women. All I have to do is look at my Facebook feed and see my female friends talking about all the creepy men that are staring at them or talking to them at the gym.
If you are interested go say hi and ask him what his name is; it's really that simple. He very well might be interested in you, but because of reasons above he probably will never talk to you
The only difference between cute and creepy is whether or not they are interested.
Just accept it, bro. Some people are meant to be alone.
I'm a good-looking scientist. I can't refuse that I will rot alone, for many reasons. I even contribute to the society. I've seen lesser men find happiness 10 years younger than me. Yeah I'm bitter as fucc. Sure, I don't go to the gym like OP and her guy, but physicists rarely do. It's in our personality to think rather than act.
I'll cope by admitting I live in Finland. In Finland people don't approach each other so comfortably like in the States. Maybe girls would talk to me abroad. I literally want the woman to make the initiative. I want to only wait for tits to come to me.
You have the right mindset. I refuse to initiate with "people" I view as lesser humans. Yeah, it's led to complete isolation but sticking to principle is better than crawling at feet of normies and women. Finland seems comfy. I want to live in a cabin by a lake in the woods when it's -40 outside and a warm fire is burning keeping me warm, all alone with maybe a book. I don't know how to help. If you want sex, get a hooker. At least then you're not playing games and getting a 1:1 effort to reward ratio. If you want kids/family, hire a surrogate and live-in nanny.
Maybe it's because you believe things like
> how to approach some douche Assuming a guy you don't know is a douce because someone is interested in him - also shows jealousy issues
>I've seen lesser men find happiness 10 years younger than me. Lesser men shows a superiority complex
>Yeah I'm bitter as fucc. You're bitter and half baggage
>Sure, I don't go to the gym like OP and her guy, but physicists rarely do You don't physically take care of yourself - also, if you want women to approach you for shallow reasons like being good looking (which you seem to think you are) you need to work on shallow things like your body. Regardless though, exercising shows status and that you care about yourself
>I literally want the woman to make the initiative. I want to only wait for tits to come to me. And this just shows how much of a coward you are; that or you are lazy or entitled. I don't know.
>Yeah, it's led to complete isolation but sticking to principle is better than crawling at feet of normies and women.
Finally someone who thinks like me and admits it. I absolutely hate how all the rules in the dating game have been set by women. They control the entire system of who gets a happy married life and who is a worthless incel that gets spat on.
>You're bitter and half baggage Have
Before you people jump all over me
Does it feel good to shit on anons while a female poster is watching? Do you genuinely believe this makes you hotter and better than some guy you're trying to whiteknight? I'm not buying your patronizing leftist shit though, I see what you're doing.
As I said in another thread, it boils down to simple biology. Sperm is cheap and eggs are expensive. Women are coveted and men are disposable by their nature. Your contributions to physics are completely one sided. I personally would never be able to do something like that unless I absolutely loved the field. Hopefully you do. How long has this been bothering you? I know you said you're 32, but when did this reality really hit home?
>Does it feel good to shit on anons while a female poster is watching? >Do you genuinely believe this makes you hotter and better than some guy you're trying to whiteknight? >I'm not buying your patronizing leftist shit though, I see what you're doing. >Just sigh.
Also, to add to the list; you refuse to acknowledge that any of your shortcomings might be caused by yourself.
>Assuming a guy you don't know is a douce because someone is interested in him - also shows jealousy issues Yeah like nobody on Jow Forums ever called someone by nasty names without knowing the person. You call me a worthless shitstain all day and now the ad hominems bother you..
>You're bitter and have baggage Wow you literally repeated my own argument that I generously used against myself to show I'm humble and self-aware.
>You don't physically take care of yourself I do. You don't know me.
>And this just shows how much of a coward you are; that or you are lazy or entitled. I don't know. I'm not a coward, I have approached a lot of women and I want a change in this. I've done all the work and humiliated myself several times, it takes balls.
Just fuck you for making me waste my time. You're not an alpha male, you're in no way above me and no amount of self-serving male-shaming wikipedia psychology is change that.
>You call me a worthless shitstain all day Never said that at all
>Wow you literally repeated my own argument that I generously used against myself to show I'm humble and self-aware. Yeah - it's a big red flag that shows pretty fast
>You don't physically take care of yourself >I do. You don't know me. >Sure, I don't go to the gym like OP and her guy, but physicists rarely do
>Just fuck you for making me waste my time. Y I'm not making you do anything
>You're not an alpha male, you're in no way above me and no amount of self-serving male-shaming wikipedia psychology is change that. There goes that superiority complex shining through again
>I'm sorry user, I didn't mean to make you upset. For what it's worth, I'm really far from a Stacey...Im worried he'd just laugh in my face, frankly.
Being a 32-year-old incel is extremely hard. You women have no idea how bad it hits your self worth.
I go jogging and I ride a bicycle. I said I don't like going to the gym but that shouldn't suggest I don't exercise at all. I just don't have big muscles you know. That's not what I'm after and it would feel hypocritical to increase my mass just to appear attractive to women. It would feel low IQ.
If you tell me you gotta be big to get women in 2019 I'm gonna get triggered as fuck. I'm a physicist so for me it's all about IQ and I'm still hoping women appreciate a good old scientist over a bodybuilder. Sure you could be both but honestly none of my scientist friends go to the gym and none of my gym-attending friends have education past high school. It's because something like university education literally takes up all your time, motivation and focus. Same goes for bodybuilding. To focus on both is quite rare.
Funny how the responses are generally nicer and more understanding when a woman makes a post on Jow Forums.
I'm a male and whatever I post I get eaten alive.
It's a bit early in the morning to be this drunk, don't you think user?
How does that indicate drunkenness? I'm completely sober. I guess suggesting that a female do the approach is just so far fetched that I can't possibly be in the correct state of mind for doing so
>I'm a physicist so for me it's all about IQ and I'm still hoping women appreciate a good old scientist over a bodybuilder
It's all that other shit dragging you down, like acting like you're above others
I studied comp sci for a few years before switching to forestry and fire technology to pursue fire fighting, I know what your STEM life is like and what I can tell you:
It's not about what women in general prefer over the other; it's what this woman prefers over that woman. If you want some woman who is in shape and physically attractive you need to be in shape and physically attractive
I am far from stupid; women that approach me for my muscles or my looks are always shallow because guess what - they are only interested in my muscles and my looks. What that does get me are women that aren't interested in anything I have to say, women with boyfriends who won't say they have a boyfriend, or women that just aren't interested in me personally but still want my attention
If you want a woman that appreciates big brains you need to approach women that have big brains, cause guess what >. It's because something like university education literally takes up all your time, motivation and focus. Same goes for bodybuilding. To focus on both is quite rare. There you go.
So with all this in mind...I guess the real question I have to ask is
What exactly do I say to him to break the ice? I have no idea.
If you guys were approached by a girl at the gym, what would you want them to say?
Say “hey, I’ve seen you around a lot. What’s your name?” And start talking to him there.
You can gauge his interest there, and you’re giving him an opening to make a move if he’s interested. You can also suggest you guys grab a bite after workout if he has time. If he doesn’t have time, offer a rain check.
If he gives you his number for the rain check, you’re golden, you know he’s interested.
If he says “yeah sure” and then doesn’t follow up with a way to contact, you know he’s not interested and to butt out.
>What exactly do I say to him to break the ice? I have no idea. Hey, I like your X
Hi my name is X, I've seen you around here and wanted to introduce myself
Do you like to go jogging? I'm looking for a jogging buddy
First off, I should say that guys absolutely have the right to turn girls down and should if they're not interested. Nobody is entitled to anyone. But guys can and do outright refuse girls, and you're helping nobody by perpetuating the lie that a girl will never experience rejection for asking a guy out. Girls should go in knowing that rejection is a possibility and prepared to take it gracefully.
It's a good way to set yourself up for a psychological mess if you're convinced that women don't get rejected, then actually get rejected because... amazingly... men aren't a monolithic entity who all think and act and believe the exact same way.
You can casually compliment him on finishing a hard rep with heavy weights. "You make that look so easy. I'm jealous."
Having a muscular physique definitely helps for attraction, confidence and overall feeling of wellness. Why would you not be the best that you can be? Not for the reason of others, but for yourself. Feeling strong, confident, energetic and being able to look at your own body in admiration of what you've accomplished can put a smile on your face every day. If you want to achieve a good physique you have to do use your IQ, unless you are blessed with good genes. You will also learn a lot about anatomy and nutritrion. It's not easy to get an aesthetic body. Don't belittle people who manage it or are working towards it, just because you are too lazy to give it an effort yourself. It requires planning, calculations, constant observation and evaluating as well as actually putting it to practice.
I study at the university and lift at the same time. I have top grades and have put on a lot of mass and learned alot doing so. Also the gym I train at has almost only people from the university, and the only time it isn't full is 05-08 in the morning. It's not rare to work on both your IQ and physique. They both faciliate eachother. Atleast half of my friends from the study workout, and most of the girls in my class also lift.
As for the OP: I often catch the same girls looking at me when I lift, but I never approach in fear of being labeled a creep and getting #metoo'd. If you want anything to happen you should probably talk to him. Might be as easy as asking him what he's lifting today and talking about your programs. Just get a conversation going so he knows he can talk to you when he see's you and likewise. Good luck, even if he isn't sexually interested right now atleast you will have a friend there and it might lead somewhere later on.
I find envious is a better word than jealous, or just saying "man I wish it were that easy for me." Jealous has a lot of implications depending on who you drop it for
On the other hand guys are usually way more pliable
Sure - whatever feels natural. Go with that.
Ok guys, after some studying of your notes I decided tomorrow I'll talk to him. If this thread is still here tomorrow, I'll keep you all updated.
>I just really was hoping I wasn't coming off as a creep or upsetting him. Only women are judgmental in this respect. But men don't think this way. Your "creepy" interest is more likely to spark interest in return rather than fear.
Ask for help lifting, or just go up and make a snarky comment about him looking at you even if he's not. It's gym etiquette that you can't really ask a girl out but the girl totally good. It's just there as a respect measure
>attractive men get approached Haha I knew it. Tying the noose right now
>This is a weird concept to me, but I'm really thankful for it. I'm really awkward. I've been groped by women, hit on in various ways including a chick who basically asked if I wanted to fuck her on the toilet, kissed randomly. The worst emotional reaction that ever got out of me was not giving a fuck or that it took me 5minutes to register what just happened. We aren't like women who get offended at that stuff because it doesn't threaten us. Seriously, just say hey and ask him about an exercise he's doing (hey what kind if exercise is that, I've never seen it) Make awkward smalltalk, then before you leave introduce yourslf (I'm anonette, nice to meet you). Make sure you smile a lot, men love that shit.
yea who ever saw that one coming can you even imagine
I didn't even realize women approached anyone at all. Fuck.