Should I break up with my bf?

>has sex only once per month
Break up. Not worth the effort anymore.

Just talk to him about the cons and if he's unwilling to improve or find some compromise about the things he doesn't like about you also getting improved on then you have your answer.

there is absolutely no other outcome right
>31 m and i fuck my wife every two days

why are you on /adv champ, sound like youve got it made

If you fuck your gf once a month the fourth possible option is that you are actually gay and despise sex with women but dont want to come out of the closet.

Maybe he just wants to preserve his vitality by not mindlessly spilling his seed

Or maybe he is a basedboy beta incel?

A week after ejaculation testosterone levels are at highest. After that they drop. And there is no benefit to nofap over a week.

Having sex with a real woman 2-3week is ideal for ”vitality” and hormone levels when you are an average man.

>And there is no benefit to nofap over a week.
Spoken like a true addict.

Vitality is contained within the seed, which you would know if you had self control.

then masturbate, not everything is solved by sex you fucking caveman boomer. why pound the idea that he is inferior into his head just because he doesn’t go out and fuck as many mindless tramps as you do.
doesn’t make you an enlightened man it makes you just another dumbass blindly walking around swinging his dick, just praying that some woman will just latch onto it for the next 20 years so you don’t have to think about what its like being all by your sad self again.
hit close to home at all user?

spoken like a true s o y b o y

He has a gf that he pounds once a month u beta incel. Didnt hit close at all, you are clearly telling about your own sexless life in an envious projection.

are you braindead? did you read anything that user had to say? because it was a poor attempt to push HIS on sexual preferences (laying pipe to solve problems and keep seratonin production going) that is awful and behavior that only addicts indulge in, using sex as a CRUTCH for your life. do something else for christs sake, tired of the narrative on this board beinf “sex will solve all life problems” when in reality, it opens a door for a whole new realm of insecurities that dude may not have even been able to imagine.
im not a virgin but i dont need to spout off about my sex life on an anonymous board lmao, there is no projection, just my perception of that user’s attempt to fool someone into thinking that intercourse is /all you need for life/ because if THATs your mantra, boy howdy youre in for a rough ride

also whats your position, do you want him to pipe her 3-4 times a week? or once a month, youre beginning to get anxious with how youre contradicting yourself. take a second to re-read the thread and then post something argument worthy.

Spoken like a true incel who has never been in a relationship in his life.

If you are younger than 85yo and have sex only once a month you have one or multiple problems.

I haven't had sex in over a year

I wish people would stop bragging how often they have sex

The reality is if you're not a chad/stacey couple it's not as satisfying as masturbating

I believe you. That is exactly how you come off as, an incel.

>like he's not interested in me at points
>Good lord he's so fucking boring

maybe your boring to him. why dont you get a hobby. o wait girls like you dont have hobbies except hopping on cock.

Dag ma, am I your bf? This sounds a lot like me

If you're asking these questions it's already over. Good luck.

this
youve proven to me that you have little to no intelligence, as well as 0 chance of participating in a 2-way relationship.
bragging about having sex once every two days solidifies that ^
go stick your dick in something before you start using caps lock

I don't have "goals" for the relationship. I'm in the relationship because I like him and I could see myself being with him forever. I just want to make sure I'm not wasting either of our time with something that won't actually go anywhere.

Why is it that men can leave relationships for lack of sex and be reasonable but it's not okay when women consider it.

It's clearly a reductionist concept as I can't explain the nuances of everything, I'm sorry trying to give you additional information in a practical way upset you.

Kek I don't think either of us would be into that

I don't think he's depressed as he really doesn't seem to understand depression, alto unmotivated is fair. No career but has a trade they he isn't using, no degree but he did a couple years at uni, his ambitions are mostly recreational. I'm definitely more ambitious than him but honestly I'm so okay with that. I'm not super happy with his job rn (retail/fast food) tho which he knows but makes little effort to change.

I'm presuming he's just got a low libido, early in the relationship he admitted he hadn't masturbated in like five days which blew my little mind.

Okay, thank you for your input

How does one start such a conversation without holding the concept of breaking up over the conversation like a guillotine blade? I don't want to bully him into changing because he thinks he's supposed to.

Mate if you think sex isn't as good as masturbating you've been getting laid wrong. Sex is far, far better if done correctly.

>Similar theme of interests (tg, vidya, music, films)
>Don't share any actual interests, except for the one I've picked up to talk to him more
I like it when people prove they didn't even read the op before triggering themselves

Please pay more attention to your gf, but no, it's doubtful it's you cus my bf is a real bad normie

I mean, I disagree cus if I wasn't asking these qs it wouldn't mean I was automatically happier, it could mean I'm ignorant to the problems. This way I have a way to potentially sort it once I've muddled through my feelings, but I appreciate the advice

>boring

What could he do to become more exciting? I'm serious

My relationships have been at their best when I'm not really been motivated by much else? Like if I'm not working much, kind of poor, have free time then I've the inclination and energy to make sex happen all the time and I'm trying to find interesting things to do together.

When I'm horrifically busy and driven/motivated with work or projects I'm a terrible partner because get the fuck out of my way I've stuff to do and your needs are basically a burden right now.

I've found my partners have had a hard time transitioning between the two? Like right now my gf wants me to go fuck her, but I'm not in the mood. I'm slightly tired, I'm killing time while waiting for my coffee to cool off and then I'm going into work quickly, coming home and working on my vegetable garden and making a prototype product for work.

I DID want to fuck her at like ... 6am, but she wanted to sleep in until midday. This is another one that is difficult for me and for partners to adapt to. If you want to do things together when I'm busy then you've got to keep tight hours. Like up at sunrise shit.

Hmm. Ask more questions, speak more freely about his interests and wants, be more open about his thoughts and feelings. Sometimes he socialises when it appears he doesn't want to and becomes ultra boring to try to interact with, so I guess stopping forcing himself to do things like that. Maybe if he mapped out a life plan he'd be able to focus on the areas that make him interesting. Also maybe not be as stupidly busy all the time so I actually get to spend time with him and don't get terse, short responses because he's texting back as fast as possible.
I'm not interested in changing him so if these aren't things that he's wanting to do but not implemented then reasonably I don't want him to do it.

Yeah I'm much the same, so I feel your pain but I don't feel that's this guy's gig. He's busy but doesn't time manage like you or I, it's a lot vaguer and based on his daily motivation levels. I mean, I'm not psychic so I'll certainly reconsider and watch out for signs, but for now I don't think this is the case.

Why are you coming here to ask us about this instead of talking to him about it?

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When you say he is boring how so? You say he is funny/witty etc, so shouldn't be that boring?

Like I'm boring. I'm totally not boring from my perspective. I just have a lot of niche hobbies and interests and I'm absorbed by them. I don't like 'hanging out' or doing pointless activities because I've a lot of stuff that I'd rather be doing.

I've been feeling very numb and disconnected from the world. I wish I could ask the girls I talk to lots of questions and be more loving but I can't and it makes me sad that they might not understand it and react in the way that you do. Maybe your boyfriend is like this. What do you think could be done to fix this? I think if a girl kept messaging me interesting things I would probably snap into being fun again

I mean, it's an odd thing to assume that I've not spoken to him about this stuff. I've spoken to him about our sex life, his family being pressure cookers, that I want to see him more often, that I want to do / experience more things with him. But they've all been separately and in "casual" conversations.
The reason I'm here instead of rehashing it already is because I want to see if others consider my qualms and thoughts as reasonable or not, and to get advice on how to broach the subject when I've decided which route to take.

Hmm. Sometimes talking to him is like drawing blood from a stone. Sometimes he's very apathetic for seemingly no reason. He has to be in the right mood or talking about the right thing to ask questions. He will repeatedly say the same things about his hobbies to me. He doesn't really like socialising and didn't talk much when he's in big groups even if he knows and is close with everyone there. He's quite passive and I'm quite active, so the general slow down that I experience when I'm with him is wonderful but if you feed the other bits into it it gets super tedious sometimes. None of these things are bad individually, they just build up.

I don't think he's depressed, but again I am not psychic. If he were i'd just have a serious talk with him and then yeah crank up the enthusiasm and shit to 11 to try and sort him out.

I guess practical advice is pretty much all relationships contain compromise. Even if you get exactly what you want you'll find yourself annoyed by other things in a new partner and view things your current partner does in a different light. Most break up things if you are committed to the long haul have to be pretty big issues relating to goals, compatibility, personality, red flag behaviour.

Like I sometimes think I want to break up with my partner, but she brings a lot of positives to the table. If anything my frustrations are often a reflection of my attitude at the time.

She wants to talk a lot, but it is always the same minor anxiety friend/work drama rubbish that never changes or improves. She gets bored a lot, but she rarely has ideas or goals of her own. She doesn't know how to do a lot of things and gets really angry if she feels like I'm patronising her, taking over, talking down to her or judging her in any way, but then she doesn't listen to advice, take help, read about things, make an effort to not be crap at something and will just do it wrong again and again while daring me to say something. Sexually she is weird. She has no idea how to move her body and does and says the strangest things that often immediately end my arousal. She complains that I'm not social enough, but when I am social she complains that I'm not available. When we spend time with groups she complains that I'm not involved enough or I'm too cynical, but she complains about being annoyed or exhausted by the socialising and having to be fake where as I'm all about being myself irrespective of what that means to others.

Why am I with her? Good company. Cosy. Somebody to cook for. She adores me and genuinely seems to love any attention I give her. Loyal, honest, sex when I want it. Creates social situations which I have the chance to engage with.

In reality though relationships are fairly interchangeable. Your brain tends to deal with whatever you find yourself doing. If you wanted to be with another person, then it doesn't really mean much in the grand scheme of things if you were with another person. It doesn't diminish the individuality of partners, they are pretty much all just interchangeable and offer different experiences.

Why stay with one? Why leave one? Why do anything? I am highly independent though. I don't expect my partners to do much other than take care of themselves, have goals and self awareness and not be too needy or demanding.

>I like him a lot but I'm just not sure on the longevity of the relationship anymore
What are you worried about exactly? That you'll stop liking him eventually? Or are you worried that he'll never change/take your relationship more seriously?
>Good lord he's so fucking boring
Do you think you can get him to change? I'm not talking about putting him against the wall. Have you tried doing new things together? In my opinion your relationship's future is not determined by your current circumstances, but by how much both of you are willing to work on it. It seems to me that you're trying to make things better, now you need to know if he's willing to try too.

I'd like to point out that I'm not experienced with relationships at all, so take my advice with a grain of salt. Godspeed, user.

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Nobody here knows you nor the relationship and can't decide for you. But you did write a pros and cons list and came here to post a thread about it which means you are unsure of it for a while.

You know some men arent hormone driven apes like yourself.

What you are actually saying is that some men have low testosterone due to nonexistent physical activity and bad diet.

This pro-con resembles the book I'm writing on the subject of male attractiveness. I'm glad I am not far from the mark. Thanks, roastie

Here's a test: imagine you two on your wedding day. You're before the altar, about to say yes to each other. How does that make you feel?

How you feel thinking about this is the answer to your question.

>bonus tip: if you are posting this thread, it's already over for your relationship, and I haven't even read your post fully
>having read more of it, no, abort, abort, abort

>>Get laid maybe once a month tops
A good lay would give you 10-20 orgasms per night not a "good fucking" once per month. Have i misread something?

I think she means pleasure per lay is high but the rate of laying is low

>A good lay would give you 10-20 orgasms
>goncern
>doubt
What kind of sex Superman are you, my friend? Please enlighten us, I want to learn everything you have to teach.

Aye, I understand compromise, I'm just trying to make sure the things I'm wanting to compromise on / have issues with are reasonable or at least viable to talk about. Again, I'm not interested in changing the poor bastard.

I mean, I inherently disagree, unless you mean they're interchangeable with someone you would have a relationship with. That's a rather nihilist view that I don't think I could keep, however.

I'm worried that I won't develop strong enough feelings to agree to marriage, although my feelings are fairly strong already, and that my boredom will make me resentful / a dick, which is literally the last thing I want.
We've done new things together and a lot of the time when we're actively engaged in one another it's not boring - then we recede for two weeks and I'm bored again.
Thanks for your confidence user, I do really want to work on it. I do wanna spend the rest of my life with him but I don't want to waste either of our time.

This is all true.

Ntayrt but he gets plenty of exercise and has a decent diet, so that can't be the be all end all.

>roastie
I'm sure you would've found a way to make it resemble your upon regardless of what I said

Elated, which is kind of ironic considering the rest of your post, kek.

The other user that responded to you is right. He is a good lay when we do, but it doesn't happen very often.

No, my book very simply lays out all of the aspects of a man that women judge. Everything you said I covered in the work

I mean my bf does three or four for me in a two and a half hour period so I can imagine certain gentlemen, if they are capable of going for a very long time, pulling this off. I couldn't imagine the chafing after that potential length of time tho.

>2019
>Still letting your genitals dictate your life.
You know it possible to be fit and nkt care about sex that much right?

Yes of course

You don't have to believe that you people are extremely predictable but that doesn't change fact. Sorry, hun

>Should I break up with my bf?
as soon as possible. You sound like an insufferable bitch; he'd be better off

I know. Same to you, bud.

Okay, thanks for your input.

>I do wanna spend the rest of my life with him but I don't want to waste either of our time.
I'd like to think that it's not a waste of time, but I can't because I see what you mean. Though I think I'd find comfort in knowing that at least I wasted my time working on a relationship. Breaking up with him doesn't mean you will find someone better so you can regret either of those decisions.
You might be just forgetting why you like him after you spend some time separated thanks to his loner nature. My advice is to see eachother more often, but for less time, instead of less often for longer. You mentioned how sometimes he acts like he's forcing himself to socialize so maybe he works better in short bursts and needs some time to rest. He seems similar to me in that aspect and I know for a fact that this change would definitely help if I were him.

Aye, I don't mind wasting my time so much since I'm still younger but he's older and it only gets rarer to get a genuinely good relationship the more you age.
>maybe he works better in short bursts and needs some time to rest.
Unfortunately, how often we see each other is almost entirely Shen to him and his schedule. We've been friends for years and just before we got together we were spending large stretches of time together, but maybe it's different for him when it's romantic? Seeing him for a couple hours a day maybe three or four times a week would be ideal for me but he's far too busy for that.
>You might be just forgetting why you like him
Nah it's that I'm constantly reminded why I like him and that I'm bored and lonely but I don't wanna be a cunt about things. I try to find other ways to fill my time and such but idk.

Have you considered living together?

I'm kinda strict with that (or moreso than most I've met at my age) so we're still a few months away from the point (1year) where I would be comfortable starting to make plans to move in together. Considering the pressure issue, I'm pretty certain I want to hold firm on that du his family don't think I'll cave to pressure.

This is honestly disgusting. Hopefully the guy drops you like the lead weight you are

Top kek, it's disgusting to wait to move in with your partner? I can almost smell your desperation.

t. Cumbrain

>I'm not wasting either of our time with something that won't actually go anywhere.

It's obviously already gone -somewhere-. Stability in general is boring. But if you do have feelings like... your not getting enough sex or your interest don't really line up aside from in a very basic way. it's a really good idea to take a step back and question things. the last thing you wanna do is commit to this relationship and then 5 years down the road fee like your distant and lonely and your needs aren't being met.
Sorry my advice is a bit boring but the bottom line is if you or him either feels like your needs aren't being met you need to look into fixing it (bringing it up) or you gotta part ways otherwise it build resentment. and kill the relationship later anyway. and at the end of the day you are the only person to really be able to answer any of these questions.

Good luck user. and ignore all the incel advice in this thread please.

Yeah. If you want to be with him and can imagine settling with him, why would some arbitrary amount of time keep your housing separated?

I love the apology for boring advice, thank you so much for your input user you've been super helpful. You've not had boring advice at all, just honest stuff. I've already spoken to him about some stuff, I think I'll bring them back up and see how he reacts now and then contemplate from there I guess. Thank you again, I'll be thinking it over. And no, I don't take much heed in incel advice, although they are fun to play with.

Because people can change, can hide things and plus it's an expensive step that, if the two of you break up, can really break down to a situation very complicated to sort. It's an additional layer of responsibility you have to the other person and taking that lightly, to me, is wrong. Like I said I'm a bit stricter then most people, I think it genuinely means something and don't wanna wash that out.

Whatever you say. I'm sure you don't use your time alone at home for inviting other men over kek

Damn, I'm out of ideas. You're in a tight spot. I understand your stance on moving together. My sister started living together with a boyfriend she hadn't known for more than a month, I don't know what goes through their heads. That said, you either move together, he finds more time for you, or you just hang in there and concentrate on different things while you wait to see how everything turns out.

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It sounds like you are tired of this relationship as is, you should talk with your BF about how you feel and where things are going. You may end up breaking up or you might end up in a chateau doing coke off a clown together

Just let the guy go. He deserves better

I'm gad you found it helpful. I was in a similar situation myself. We are married now though. The only other advice I can give is never let things fester. and if bringing something up like having sex more then once a month or sharing more interests has your BF in a meltdown or he avoids the issue. maybe there are other issues that need dealing with. and if you want a long term relationship at all these kind of things need to be ironed out or they can pop up later and really make things unpleasant. Life can get really shitty so you want to make sure your relationship won't implode the moment life puts pressure on you.

>get laid maybe once a month
Kek, run before it's too late.