My girlfriend keeps trying to change me

This, OP is a little daisy bitch

This is utter bullshit. If you love someone you don't want them to change their haircut or dress sense. Weight, fair enough. OP does not 'represent' her, that is complete crap.

OP, your gf is a controlling bitch. I would advise you to get out the relationship. These are very bad signs. It is a typical female way to want to change things about men, but it's a slippery slope.

Signed - someone who was in a very controlling marriage for years and ended up having to go to counselling. One 'request' led to another, and even when I stood my ground, she just found more subtle ways to get what she wanted.

it's one of two reasons; you look fine now but could look more composed if you did xyz thing. As a guy (who visits /fa/) I sometimes give advice to my friends (lady ones included) and I give them tips on how to dress or something that'd go good with said outfit.

Or she's crazy

God am I envious.

Whats so bad about that she is trying to change you? Its not like she is demanding fucked up stuff from you. She wants you to be more healthy and look better and she is helping you out in every way she can about it, thats a wonderful thing.
If the end result is that she is even more attracted to you then just go along with it, its not like you care about yourself all too much.

it could be this is the start of something worse.

True, but i'm sure he knows when to make it stop, trying to change the fact that hes a fat loser who frequents Jow Forums and dresses like utter garbage is all fine so far, shes not trying change who you are, just the shitty imagine you give off to people, or just thinks that she can turn you into more of a sexy demon

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>gf cares for you and wants you to be the best you you can
>better drop her she is cray!

Oh no what could happen next? Have more sex and even be more attractive towards other girls because she polished you up a bit?
Fuck me.

Lets lynch this faggot op

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Then why did she get together with him in the first place? Because he had 'potential' and was easily pliable?

I have been in multiple relationships in my life and the worst by far was the girl who wanted to change me. The others never mentioned anything about my clothes, my hair, anything. They just wanted me to be happy. I remember writing a note to one gf which said, "you let me be who I want to be". That is when things go well.

The girl who said she wanted me to get more fit then started pushing me to have big muscles 'how she liked'. I also had shoulder length hair which I shaved off for her since she didn't like it. She didn't like a lot of my clothes and urged me to buy stuff that was 'more masculine'. She didn't care about what I wanted, but what she could mould me into and how others perceived HER for being with me. She even started demanding that I have sex without condoms even though I said over and over that I didn't want to. That is where things got to after several years, but they happen so gradually that you don't notice at first.

It was awful. And it never stopped. In truth the unhappiness was coming from inside of her, and trying to change me to compensate only made her more demanding and it made me more unhappy. The signs that OP is describing are very worrying.

Mom gf

Have you tried not being a fat, ugly faggot?

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To be fair, I've spent some time on /fa/, fashion forums, etc., so I notice when a garment is ill-fitting, or doesn't match the rest of the outfit, or the style the person is going for. So I'll suggest maybe this, maybe that. Tho I wouldn't be like "you can't wear that".

Same for exercise. Leading by example works better here. "Hey, wanna come along on my run?".
You shouldn't force the other person to do anything, but they also affect you. If they constantly slob-out with snacks in front of the TV, it most likely won't be motivating to workout. There's a saying in my country "you'll become who you hang out with".

>what does it mean? Is it just a way to take the upper hand on the relationship?
Here's my take: you are overweight, you dress like an American man, your hair is shit.

If these are correct assumptions, then your woman is right: lose the weight, improve your dressing, and get a professional haircut that suits you. I can help you with all three things.

And no, it's probably not your woman trying to control you, as you put it; it's your woman actively caring for you and wanting the best for you.

Remember: you cannot be controlled. You are an adult person, you are free. You certainly seem insecure and unsure of that fact, which is why you see her attempts in a negative light, and the reality behind this is that you actually don't want to lose weight, improve your clothing, and get a good haircut.

You're using this control theme as an excuse not to face what really bothers you.

You're welcome.

Very common.An unconscious part of the dating/mating ritual. Believe it or not it's a test to see if you'll stand up to her. If you don't, she'll lose respect for you.

So If I get this right, there was a girl who really wanted to get impregnated by you. So because her hormons were going crazy she wanted you to cut your faggot hair and get more buff and manly most propably to get you closure to the picture she envisiound her baby daddy should be like?

How very terrible of her.

She doesn't like these things about you
She still likes you, but believes things would be better for her with these changes
Do you want a haircut or to lose weight? If not you should talk to her about not wanting those changes. She may decide to leave or she may decide she is happy with you as you are
Either way you don't have to change if you don't want to

>The reward for a good deed is a better and harder deed
Nothing can stay the same forever
Things either get better or worse and not always consistently
Your ex may have been psycho, but it took time for you to realize and now you are better for it
In other words you won't let this happen again and you won't do this to others

However you may want to not be so extreme, or else you may come off as a psycho

She wants you to be better looking that's it

Maybe you would like he changes yourself if you give it a try?
Its not like you can't just grow you hair out again and gain your weight back by eating all the shit you want if you don't like it.

It means you have an attractive face and a good personality, but you're fat and dress awful. She's trying to help, you autistic faggot.

She wants you to be the best version of yourself. That means taking care of your body and how you present to others, and In turn change your self image.

She wants you to grow as a person user. If she demands you stop hobbies or change your personality, that's a different matter.

Chin up and do them squats, you won't be young forever.

So convincing someone who doesn't want to be a father to be one - because someone else wants it - is not a bad thing?

Yes, it is terrible of her. Inexcusable. You are a sad excuse for a feminist.

OP I've been in this situation and my suggestion is get the fuck out of there. Only exception could be if you talk to her about and she ACTUALLY apologizes and doesnt start the shit a month later. Because its fucked up not letting you be you.

Yes it's a trick to have the upper hand, but nothing else as a result of her own insecurities and being a control freak. A lot of girls use their boyfriend as something to show off, therefore suggesting weight loss, outfit and hairstyle - that's just stupid.

I am no feminist.
I guess I just have a different viewpoint.

I really want to have a family of my own so I guess if a girl would want me to this extend I'd go for it.

My GF is like this with my personality traits. Shitsux

It's a sign of a bad personality and a good excuse to run

It means she's trying to improve you because you embarrass her.

You probably look like shit. Cut your hair, change your look, lose the weight

cut the fries, fatty

I'd say don't do anything you don't want to do.

>gf doesn't want to be embarrassed to be seen with me in public
>not wearing flame shirts, getting a haircut every 3 weeks and eating slightly better is trying to change me at my very core because I have no redeemable qualities.

These.
You come on here and confess that you'd rather dump your gf and be a trash slob to a bunch of incels and they'll whip out the rope.

Why do you think relationships have an upper hand? Relationships are supposed to be mutual and based on respect and love. She's just trying to do what is best for you, or at the worst, change you to be more attractive to her. There is literally nothing wrong with that at all, and not only does this mean you'll be better off, it also gives you permission to make similar requests. When she asks you to change your hairstyle, see if she's willing to change hers to something you find more attractive. If she wants you to go to the gym and lose weight (which you should do anyway), then get her to come along and work legs or something.
People romanticize shit like loving someone just the way they are. It is both much more realistic and healthier to change yourself for the better.

girl here, dump her
controlling gfs are a one way ticket to abuse

There will likely be a slippery slope. You agree to change 1 thing and soon she'll be asking you to change 1000 things.

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Different guy, but YOU'RE utter bullshit. Watch your mentality doesn't bring you to incel levels of women hatred from a bad previous marriage. Your wife was a cunt, doesn't mean all women are, you cunt.

OP you absolutely do represent your GF. You represent what she fucks and makes out with, what she values in a person and what she would settle down with. What she is telling you is she is no longer happy with your appearance.

Obviously keep in mind what cuck-o was talking about. Don't let her change your core tenants, but a relationship is ALWAYS

ALWAYS
About compromise. Give and take. You allow each other to change to fit each other like a glove. You can even use this as an opportunity to change something you don't like about her, if you're careful about it.

>tells OP to improve himself by getting a haircut losing weight and clothes.
>SHE IS CONTROLLING HURR DURR
i hope you guys are just acting retarded. Also OP you probably look like those weirdo type of guys your gf is helping you. Stop being stupid

>all these betas saying op is wrong woman always right
pathetic

op, if the things she asks you to change are things she already liked about you to begin with then change anything especially if you don't want to

>Different guy, but YOU'RE utter bullshit. Watch your mentality doesn't bring you to incel levels of women hatred from a bad previous marriage. Your wife was a cunt, doesn't mean all women are, you cunt.

The point you're missing, which is fair enough, is that I have a lot of experience with dating the opposite sex. Those relationships where we just left each other to be who we wanted we essentially better, because if you love someone you don't try to change them to suit your ideal of them. If you let someone change you they will never be satisfied. They will only push for the next thing.

>girl here, dump her
>controlling gfs are a one way ticket to abuse

This user is completely right. Serious alarm bells from the OP.

I got what is being said about compromise in relationships, but compromise is finding a mid ground on issues you can't agree on, it's not the same. If she is looking to change your dress sense and haircut, it's, as the other user said, the road to an abusive relationship. I would NEVER ask any of my previous gfs to CHANGE something about themselves like how they dress or change a part of their body [and yes, hair does count] to suit me. It's insane.

>There will likely be a slippery slope. You agree to change 1 thing and soon she'll be asking you to change 1000 things.

This user is right too.

My other half tried time and time again to get me to lessen my beard length or cut it off. Reason after reason after reason. In the end I just kept refusing and she shut up. You don't put up with crap like that. And weirdly, they will respect you more for it, as the cartoon implies.

it means you're an unattractive lazy fuck and she's trying to get you to look good rather than dump your bum ass

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