I hate living as a woman. I hate it. It makes me sick to my stomach. I'm not even sure how to describe it. I want to live a different life. I don't want to be weak and submissive and emotional. The thought of being pregnant makes me want to throw up. Wearing women's clothing makes me want to cry. I envy women with medical conditions that give them too much testosterone. The warning that steroids make you grow facial hair and give you a deep voice is like a fucking siren's song. I don't know what to do. I'm so miserable. I know women have an easier life, I don't want it. I know women are coddled, I don't want it. It's demeaning. I wish I could stop just fucking hating myself but my feeling of complete biological inferiority makes that impossible. I disgust myself. I don't even know what to say. Maybe I'll grow out of it, but I'm a full grown adult already. Feel free to make fun of me in the replies. I don't give half a shit. This whole life is just embarrassing. I give up.
I hate living as a woman. I hate it. It makes me sick to my stomach. I'm not even sure how to describe it...
You know that transitioning is an option for people like you right?
>>>/LGBT/
Speak to trans men about their experiences, it sounds very similar to what they think to me.
I'm broke, and I can't live with how disappointed my parents would be in me. They'd never talk to me again. I don't want to cut them off from me.
Just become a tomboy
There are organisations that are willing to help you with the money.
I think most people parents would be happy to see their child happy and not on the edge of suicide. Maybe have an honest chat with them about how you feel right now.
Have sex.
Not OP but as someone who has always been a tomboy, I don't hate being a woman.
OP has deeper issues.
I had sex once. One of the most humiliating experiences of my life. Wouldn't do it again if a gun was to my head.
Try talk about this on /lgbt/ or with some kind of therapist.
I'm sure there are more ppl that feel the same thing. Wish you best
Thank you. Appreciate it
Even if, that's still your life not them
Just out of curiosity, what was so humiliating about it?
I just feel like you can just act like a boy, dress like a boy, and just do boy things without resorting to fucking around with your insides and potentially messing up your mental situation more. There's no need to live like a women just because you were born like one, nor call yourself a man because you don't live a women's life. If the thought of being submissive and emotional freaks you out, learn not to be. If being pregnant makes you want to throw up, don't get pregnant.
Having something "in there" was bad enough. I don't exactly know why that was so bad, but it was. I don't even like to acknowledge that I have that body part, much less use it for anything. There was also a certain feeling of submission about it that just freaked me out. I really don't know how to describe it any better, I'm sorry.
Tomboys don't live like men, they live like unfeminine women. But still women. I've never felt as less of a woman because I wear boy clothes, or because I have traditionally masculine interests, or because I don't do make up and hair.
I think you underestimate how much our hormones are a great part of who we are.
I'm not very emotional, on average, yet there are certain moments of my period where I see a dog and I start crying.
I am pretty strong for a girl, I can carry my 190 lbs boyfriend on my back, yet my boyfriend is still much stronger than me even if he doesn't do shit and can't even remember how a gym looks like.
That's just testosterone and estrogens for you.
If you feel bad about your gender, you should take your chance and fuck your body up to stop being whatever makes you deeply unhappy. Because dressing up like a dude doesn't make it.
I want to have some sort of transition so fucking badly. The only thing stopping me is thinking of how disappointed and angry my family would be. I'm completely miserable now, but at least I have them. I don't want to be alone.
Are you sure?
There were at least 3 moments of my life when I thought "my parents are going to be so disappointed, so angry, and just stop talking to me if I do this". And they just showed me love and support, because ultimately they just want me to be as happy as I can.
If they really have your back, the only thing they want is for you to be as happy as you can be.
Make friends and form a healthy support circle. Unironically talk to organisations that deal with trans people. They will also provide therapy to help with your fears.
Have you ever tried talking to your parents about feeling... different than expected ?
I did talk to my parents before, about how I don't like being female. My dad basically told me that I have an easier life, and that I should be grateful, and that the die fall how they fall. My mom was just sort of baffled. This was a few months ago and I haven't brought it up since, I did it enough when I was a teenager that they got tired and annoyed with it. They're both firmly against transgenderism as a whole and think the surgery should be illegal, to the point that I had to assure my dad for a while after the conversation that I am not thinking of having surgery, even though I was and still am.
Where are you from Anonette?
what the fuck makes you think transitioning will get rid of your self hate? lmao
you just want a beard
The USA, Alaska specifically. My mom's a Ukrainian immigrant, my dad's always lived here (if you care about that information).
Blame feminists. Also, tits or gtfo.
No.
How about killing yourself and reincarnating into a male
I have considered suicide, to be completely honest. But I feel like there are ways I can get through this better while still being able to enjoy life.
You deserve everything that's about to come your way in the future.
Appreciate it
You know, you say that, but increasingly, I fucking hate living as a man. I'm not even memeing. Now I don't have gender dysphoria or anything, so I feel pretty comfortable in my body and thus, don't feel the need to transition. But lately, I've been thinking a LOT about how nice it'd be to be a woman, from a romantic and sexual perspective. Must be nice not having to be assertive, dominant, talkative, friendly, outgoing, or even interesting in order to get laid, or better yet, find long-lasting, emotionally fulfilling relationships. I genuinely mean that. I've been thinking about how if I were a woman, I probably would've been in many relationships by now, even though I've been trying to get my shit together for awhile now. When I was a NEET, women wanting nothing to do with me, but I've seen so many women in similar positions find relationships fairly easily.
I've read so many stories on Reddit of a woman having a crush on a man and actually getting together with him, but how many men actually wind up with their crush? A much, much smaller percentage, I'd bet. Considering the sheer power women wield when it comes to relationships and social dynamics in general, giving up biological superiority wouldn't be that big of a deal.
I know people are probably going to hate me for my post though.
Also on that note, it must be nice being able to build close, emotional friendships where you can vent about your frustrations and insecurities without worrying about coming off as clingy, a killjoy, or annoying. I've been holding all my negative emotions inside of me for so long now that it's actually causing me physical pain.
Jokes on you, men are also secretly weak.
You know, as much as I hate women, I do feel general pity for them. I would hate not being able to do intellectual engagement, or to pursue higher purposes. It would be nice to be guaranteed to breed and pass on genes, but the trade-off is extreme. You are mentally and socially imprisoned, I'll give you that.
No, I understand. And I respect that. But I do wish I were you, really, really badly. You're right, life is easier as a woman. But I don't want that. I don't want an easy life, I want to work, and earn what I get. I find it easy to be assertive, dominant, talkative, and outgoing, it comes naturally to me, and I wish I got the opportunity to do it more often. Lastly, women's friendships are overrated. I haven't been able to connect with a woman, ever. I hold my negative emotions inside me too.
You have no fucking idea how much I wish I were male. This life is hell. I don't know how other women are okay with it.
Hmm sounds like you have a traumatic past with this stuff? I cant say how other people feel about things but I feel like if you feel the need to mutilate and distort your body to something it wasnt naturally inteded to be there might be something more there than just an identity issue. Its too self destructive to truly be beneficial to your happiness. And maybe its just cuz I've heard horror stories about transitioning and surguries and all that. I myself neednt worry about these things as Im comfortable with who I am (manly man with a slight feminine side). I would recommend seeing a therapist or some sort of professional help. But please dont do anything rash or irrational it will only bring more pain.
You already got as much sympathy as you'll get out of me. That being said, if it bothers you so much it probably means you have slightly above intelligence (for a woman) or are mentally defunct, though I'd guess the former. That sucks, but I don't know what to tell you. I can't recommend being a tranny, but maybe being a cat-lady would be ok
>No, I understand. And I respect that. But I do wish I were you, really, really badly. You're right, life is easier as a woman.
Damn, thank you for being understanding and not just blowing me off.
>But I don't want that. I don't want an easy life, I want to work, and earn what I get. I find it easy to be assertive, dominant, talkative, and outgoing, it comes naturally to me, and I wish I got the opportunity to do it more often.
I mean, you can still do that. More and more women, while less and less men, are going to college, getting a degree, and getting higher-paying jobs. Funny that you say you don't want an easy life, and while this may sound condescending, I'd say it's actually easier to be a tough, assertive woman than it is to be an emotionally vulnerable man.
>Lastly, women's friendships are overrated. I haven't been able to connect with a woman, ever. I hold my negative emotions inside me too.
I'm sorry to hear that. I hear it's actually one of the advantages women have in forming those close relationships, so they can be emotional and vent and be weak in front of each other and get that emotional support that makes dealing with your issues way easier. I'd say at least look into it.
These days I feel that emotionally vulnerable men are "in," to be honest. The girls I know all want boyfriends who are "soft" and express themselves, so I don't know. Obviously I've never lived as an emotionally vulnerable man, so I can't be sure. Also, being a tough assertive woman is easy, but it's different. This is where it becomes tough to describe for me, but I don't want to be an assertive woman because I don't want to be a woman at all. Regardless of how I behave as a woman, I don't want to be one. End of story. But I'm really not sure how to explain exactly why or how it feels.
Also, I know girls do tend to have an easy time forming those relationships, but I'm not a typical girl and I find it just as difficult as most men do. I don't really have female friends.
I understand why you would want to do this because testosterone is implicated to increase IQ in women and men and is widely recognized to increase aggressive and competitive behavior.
You feel weak and sad, and men are angry brave and sometimes tougher.
But you should not do it because we live in a society where you might be discriminated for taking testosterone because of your gender.
Btw testosterone could permanently alter the female body I think I heard it before
I could have bet one of them was from Easter Europe. The mentality is pretty much still the same here among older folks.
I suggest getting therapy and trying to hold on a bit longer untill you can move out. Work on making friends and building a social citcle that will support you even after your parents' initial dissaproval of you transitioning. At the moment, fear of loneliness is your biggest obstacle.
>These days I feel that emotionally vulnerable men are "in," to be honest. The girls I know all want boyfriends who are "soft" and express themselves, so I don't know.
Eh, you're not wrong about a certain crowd, but women are weird because they say they want this, but the guys they end up dating aren't really all THAT soft imo. And also, the vast majority of women out there still want a traditional, masculine, stoic man.
>This is where it becomes tough to describe for me, but I don't want to be an assertive woman because I don't want to be a woman at all. Regardless of how I behave as a woman, I don't want to be one. End of story. But I'm really not sure how to explain exactly why or how it feels.
That's understandable. It sounds like something I wouldn't be able to grasp or relate if I weren't a woman.
>Also, I know girls do tend to have an easy time forming those relationships, but I'm not a typical girl and I find it just as difficult as most men do. I don't really have female friends.
Now this I understand. What sort of interests do you have? Were you always the type who "wasn't like those other girls"?
I wouldn't mind if my female body was altered. I feel no attachment to my body and even disgust in certain places.
Thanks. Appreciate it.
Both my sisters ended up with "softer" guys, but still, you're right. A lot of women still want masculine guys.
I hate the term "not like other girls" because people just make fun of it all the time. But yes, I'd say so. I find girls are far more emotional and sensitive than I am, my political beliefs aren't popular among women, my biggest interests are sports and metal music. That kind of thing. But I do know there are plenty of women out there with the same interests as me, I'm not claiming to be completely unique.
Go to Ukraine and see how it is.
I swear that you will completely forget your problems over here because Ukraine is such a tough place to live.
Uuf OP, idk what to say to you. I hope you stay safe and find the power to work out some methode of obtaining support to transition and live a happier life. I believe in you!
>I hate living as a woman. I hate it. It makes me sick to my stomach. I'm not even sure how to describe it.
Join the club. I hate being a woman too.
Except you're not a woman
Genuinely glad to hear there's someone else.
What does that mean?
What organizations?
You are transgender Male. I am, too. Live like a man or be miserable. There's no other choice. Don't do the girl shit. Talk to a gender therapist and get those siren songs filled. Go be a dude.
Living as a 5’1 man will suck more than as a 5’1 woman, though. And I still don’t get a real penis and balls out of it.
Are you responding pretending to be me...?
Actual OP, I'm 5'7 and perfectly happy to be a 5'7 man. The penis and balls thing is a worry though. What do they put down there?
A lot of enjoyment for women in sex comes after they learn how to ease into it.
I guess, but it wasn't that it didn't feel good, it was that it made me feel existentially ill. It actually wasn't physically painful. It was just a disgusting humiliating experience.
>earn what I get. I find it easy to be assertive, dominant, talkative, and outgoing, it comes naturally to me, and I wish I got the opportunity to do it more often.
yeah...thats not how it works as a man. You'll have to compete with other men, and often unfairly. You can work all you want and still get the short end of the stick because you weren't born rich, or handsome, or tall. And you could work or live in an area with good ole boy systems that favor idiots.
being a man is not nearly as fair as you might assume.
I've got those friendships and I'm a dude. Got two dudes I can tell my problems and sorrows to
No, sorry, I’m guess I should’ve clarified
Are you a woman? Do you know what it feels like to get a dick stuffed up there? Because I do, but I’m not sure you do.
I have a wonderful partner and we’re easing into it gently, but it still feels like a chore. Hitting the g-spot makes you feel like you have to pee. Hitting your cervix hurts. I honestly get more out of giving him blowjobs.
I know, of course not. Being a man wouldn't give me a dream life. It'd actually probably make my life harder. But I want it on a level that's a lot further than that. I'd be happier as a man, even if I were less successful than I am right now (and I really don't have much to lose).
>I find it easy to be assertive, dominant, talkative, and outgoing, it comes naturally to me, and I wish I got the opportunity to do it more often.
you can still do that as a woman. Just find yourself a submissive man who enjoys pegging and you won't even have to worry about the sex bit.
Nah but I've had sex with multiple women, so I've got some credentials. Even for me as a man sex is a "easing into it" and "letting lose" thing
>I'd be happier as a man, even if I were less successful than I am right now
would you really be a man though? it sounds like you want pieces of being a man, but not all of being a man. Will you want to date women? will you know what loneliness feels like? constant rejections?
Right, but that doesn’t make hitting the g-spot or cervix any less uncomfortable. And even when they’re not hit, there aren’t a whole lot of internal nerve endings to the vaginal canal, so you don’t actually feel much. You only feel a sense of pressure/fullness. The g-spot is really just hitting your bladder through the wall.
It’s not great. I want sex because I want to have intimacy with my partner. Sex itself is not super fulfilling unless he’s giving me oral, that’s about the only way to do it. Oral or using a detachable showerhead.
God I wish I was a gay man with a dick
I know what loneliness feels like already. I know what rejection feels like and I will happily feel it again if it means I get to be a man. I'm attracted to men, one way or another, but honestly I'd date a woman if I had to. And I'd ask her out, and I'd pay, and I'd work and make the money. I'll take all of it. All the responsibility, all the work, all the pain. I'd be happy to take all of it.
Try being an ugly dude. Suck it up, in western our society your life is worth more than mine. Now, go set up a tinder profile and have your little ego boost.
Charities. There are a lot of them and you can talk to your local clinic or just google ones in your area.
Your pic holds the answer
I don't want to be told I'm a beautiful woman. I have been, and it makes me feel like shit.
Your life is easier than mine. There's no doubt about that.
I'm sure it is. But that's not what I want. I don't want easy.
Not OP, but do you read what you're saying user?
>I want to kill myself
>you get told you're pretty tho, so your feelings are invalid
Like, come on.
OP is struggling, why can't you show some empathy?
>God I wish I was a gay man with a dick
You can let your boyfriend fuck you in the ass and get to feel what 50% of gay men feel while having sex
Men have a prostate, user. Woman don’t. And I’d like to shove my dick in something, not have it shoved in me.
At least my boyfriend enjoys pegging
I think you should probably speak to like a psychiatrist or psychologist or someone.
Honestly I think this is very personal.
There's a great variance from women to women, and from partner to partner (both for their skills and how their dicks are shaped).
Sex for me isn't anything like you're describing it.
Right, I'm sure it sucks sooo muchhh to be a pretty girl (that I guess probably has a pretty confy life in a developed nation) Boo. Fucking. Hoo.
guaranteed you'll transition and post a thread here bitching about how you hate to be trans lol
that shit doesn't solve anything
Statistics show that, if you were a dude you would have a way higher probability of killing yourself, suck it up. Things are not bad for you.
I probably will. Thanks.
If you don't sympathize with me, that's fine, and I get it. Go do something else and forget about me.
Why would I hate being trans?
The statistics for transgender suicide are far higher pre-transition than post-transition, so I'm not convinced you're correct.
If you have intense gender dysphoria and a ton of mental issues, I bet it's not the best.
You are not considering the whole picture and just thinking "but she's a pretty girl so she doesn't have a hard time getting laid". But you're kind of projecting what you want on her.
>The penis and balls thing is a worry though. What do they put down there?
Depends on where you go and what you get done. You have 3 options:
1) Prosthetic. Cheap, reliable, can't feel a damn thing.
2) Surgically created neophallus. Expensive, can feel some, won't look like a perfect cock.
3) Someone else's dick. A literal cock transplant. You will need immune suppressant drugs for the rest of your life. It will look perfect, but may have some nerve damage if not handled correctly while it was a cadaver.
>Why would I hate being trans?
because you'll still be weak, submissive and so much more emotional
I’m sure it’s very personal. Some women can’t get off on penetration, some can on penetration alone, some hate penetration, what have you.
I find penetration uncomfortably invasive and hate it. I was a virgin 25 years before having sex the first time and am convinced I was really not missing out on much.
I'll be less weak and less submsisive if I'm on testosterone, I think. Although don't take this the wrong way, I am listening to what you're saying. I obviously haven't made up my mind yet which is why I created this thread. So point taken.
Huh. Weird. Thanks for letting me know. The third one would be ideal, but that's probably expensive as all hell. Regardless, I'm not looking at anything happening within the next year or so anyway.
I believe you.
I just don't want to paint a picture of "women hate being penetrated, it's an awful experience for them, they just do it to please their men" because that's not the case for many women and definitely not for me.
But if it is uncomfortable for you, I get where you're coming from and it's fine. Pussy is weird.
I feel like being forcibly raped by an attractive alpha male would benefit you somehow. Like, your mind would be pushed to the breaking point, snap, and then you'd accept your submission to him and be fixed.
I love how Jow Forums's solution to mental illness is "just add some truamatic experiences dude, that'll fix you".
Nice one. I have had sex before, in case you missed that one. My mind was certainly pushed to the breaking point, in that that was when I was convinced I couldn't live like this anymore. Anyway, bait needs work.
I guess I should’ve clarified this is what it’s like for me. Sorry. I should know better than to invalidate other people’s feelings even when I’m upset at feeling invalidated and existentially frustrated. My apologies.
Pussy is definitely weird.
Sounds like you've got more serious problems than not having a prostate when you can't fully enjoy normal sex
Yeah, the third is the hardest to come by and most expensive. You will likely need to go to Asia to get it, probably Taiwan. The second can be done anywhere. Start with the first as prosthetics are good for making you feel more like a man. Couple it with a STP or a "wizzer" and you can piss standing up.
Start saving now. Also, purge your clothes of girly shit and dress like the man you are inside. It helps the dysphoria. Give the clothes to charity so they don't go to waste.
Ok, lets make a bet then.
I bet that, when op goes through with hrt and surgery, she( now he) by the lack of testosterone during puberty will be a manlet with still feminine features, and no penis. Lets see how long he can endure in this hypergamous gynocentric society untill he hangs himself.
Being a cis dude is hard enough, I can't not even think about being a trans dude.
I feel like a dickless pussy in every social interaction, and I have a dick.
You're a lesbian, OP. You don't need to become a man. You just need to find other lesbians.
I'm attracted to men more than I am attracted to women, though.
When I masturbate, I fantasize in a guy fucking another guy in the ass or mouth. That’s what gets me off. Heterosexual porn or fantasies do nothing for me.
*I’m a guy
>I feel like a dickless pussy in every social interaction, and I have a dick.
Transdude here. As I was born with no cock I decided to embrace being a dickless wonder by having big brass balls. I realized being a man is more than your cock and your leg length. It's manning up, doing what needs to be done, and being brave. It's in your attitude and how you live, not your pants.
So I man up, handle things with guts and a little wisdom, and do the best I can. Some people won't get it and some people won't like me. It's that way with even cis guys, though. Fuck those people. Find people who are worth it.
Fuck yes. OP here. That's the way I want to be. Now and forever.
You aren't inferior, reject that abusive mindset.
I think you're attributing too much of your "dickless pussy"-ness to others and not taking responsibilities for how you feel about yourself and how you conduct yourself.
Many men don't feel like "dickless pussies". Shit, many actual dickless trans guys don't feel like dickless pussies.
Don't project your own feelings about being a dude on OP.
Then be that way. You can choose your actions. You are the one who dictates how you see the world. Nobody else but you can do these things. The first and most important change is mental. Be a man who looks like a woman at first, then change the outside to match.
Those traits don't make someone a man those traits define masculinity something that is present within everyone to varying degrees. The notion that someone must take hormones and alter their physical appearance to match societies desired physical image of a "man" or the masculine essence is abusive and should not be promoted by anyone.