Woman awakens from coma after 27 years

Probably keep myself updated about the latest technology

>Lurk for 2 more years
I've been here longer than you

I wonder how many shitskins she birthed in all those years

>thats a good thing

is weed still legal? im a big hippy?

Have a lie in tbf. Nothing to wake up for.

Lurk for 2 more years before posting.

Kill myself because I already was dead.

You first redditfag

Do me a favor
Never ever post here ever again...

Eat your cock.

Oh man. So much here.
A woman basically dies protecting her child. Comes back to life only to speak his name, possibly out of a still-there sense of love and protection. Amazing.
Meanwhile in the west: shout your abortion.

Also, imagine passing out in the early 90s and waking up today... I think I’d ask to be put back. You wouldn’t think you woke, you’d think you finally died and went to hell.

Calling me a "redditfag" and mentioning that site over and over again proves that you have a certain affinity to it.
Lurk for 2 more years before posting again.

I probably wouldn't be able to do much of anything. I'd think after 27 years in a coma you'd be pretty much brain dead, right? The How is she even living?

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So wait Germans were paying to keep this idiot alive for 20+ years??

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>woman
uhhhh did they ask xer before writing this?

>IIIIII NEEEEEEEEEEED A DIIIIIIIICCCKK

Nah man fuck that lame woman shit I'm out

>full recovery
she can probably bubble incoherent garbage and the son tries to make sense out of it. people have been spoiled by hollywood into thinking people fully recover from shit like this. she went from vegetable with eyes closed to vegetable with eyes open.

there is big Business in Germany for arab patients. our hospitals make insane money caring for saudis and emiratis because their goverenmts pay for the best care possible.

kill myself from all the degeneracy that has taken place in less than 20 years

masturbate

Wouldn't your brain be atrophied by that point anyways?

The sad thing for coma patients who wake up after decades in America is that the American government takes them off Medicaid and the surviving elderly parents or family members have to bring the coma patient home.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry_Wallis

It would be hell to wake up from a coma patient body.

Your muscles are likely nearly gone and likely constant pain and aches.

Show her 9/11 footage, tell her America has been conquered and the global caliphate has arrived. Record her reaction and make it go viral.

Well she's a hijabi from the UAE so she'll probably thank Allah at the gains her people have made.

Go to Kmart or Sears to buy myself some new acid-washed jeans and Reeboks so that I can go to the video arcade, which I always loved doing before I got sick.... wait, what?

>are the Jews dead yet?
No
>goes back into coma

I dunno, where she lives it's still pretty unchanged. I don't think the UAE is as turbo cucked as the rest of the world. She'll find the fall of the Soviet Union to be a bit of a surprise, perhaps.

This, and give her some sweets so she can toss them in the air in jubilation

Shut the fuck up your reddit is literally oozing from your kike schnoz

> wake up from coma after 3 decades
> see the state of things
> go back to sleep

go hom and play minecraft

>So doc, is the Middle East still the progressive, modern democracy loving place it was in 1991?
Yeah...about that...

>go hom and play minecraft

Go home and find that all the real-life mining jobs in your hometown disappeared 20 years ago

Based

i'm not a kike, I swear

She lives in the United Arab Emirates, I doubt they have 920481023 genders there.

and ZoomerPilled

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This, also that ID lmao
>baC
Send me back doc

Imagine the culture shock not just of missing the 21st century but of missing the fucking 90s as well.

Fake

27 years in a coma would've had severe atrophy of the various brain regions, she will be unable to speak, walk, or even move properly.

she was in a hospital in germany

That's a lot of episodes of "Seinfeld" and "Friends" to catch up on

feds, make sure he doesn't work in a hospital

I would have woken up in hell. Exit bag.

>do Sonny and Cher still have that stupid show?

Do people that get into coma never recover cognitively from it?

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>can't wait to get all the Huey Lewis albums I've missed... got to get down to the vinyl record shop right away

>regaining the ability to move and speak after 27 years of semi-conscious awareness
This is akin to being locked in a cell for 27 years with a tube jammed down your throat to keep you from talking. I don't think you'd ever really function again.

Actually she's in luck as far as vinyl goes. In fact nothing is that different
Newspapers = websites
Talkback radio = twitter
Girls staring at themselves in the mirror all day = making other people stare at them in their phones
Amazon = Sears catalog
Sitting on your ass all day shitposting = hanging out at the mall
If you take away the incredible decadence and the impending AI apocalypse it's not that different from the early 90s. One cool thing is that we now know about thousands of alien plants when in 1991 we didn't know of any.

Yeah, he said "the middle East"

go visit my favorite cathedral

me on the left

I was a teenager in the 80s. Today's society is not much different from then except that the various forms of retardation have now been turned up to the highest volume setting

*chortles*

>Top Stories
>Sri Lanka toll revised down by 'about 100'
>Don’t worry goy less Christians died.

saying "Shut the fuck up your reddit is literally oozing from your kike schnoz"
is just showing how much of a new fag you are. please lurk for two more years before posting

>>You've been in a coma for some time. I'm afraid it's been 27 years.

The American people voted a WHAT into the White House in 2009?

>I hope Gorbachev is still the president of the USSR, I like him because he reminds me of Paddington Bear

i can't wait to get to blockbusters and see how much they've grown!

She'll be fine. She'll finally find Jesus and will be going to heaven unlike you.

Don't fuck with the near death experience. If she has enough brain cells left to remember it, it will alter her life course for the better.

Doc, give it tonme straight, how much can i bench?

>1992
>boomer
LOL, Baby BOOMER means born slightly after WWII, learn history

I would leave the country and never come back, because I could never pay the millions of dollars in medical bills.

is MGQ Paradox Part 3 Out?

>Gay marriage legal
>Two term nigger president
>Sand niggers everywhere
>Trannies everywhere
Doc, fuck this clown world. Fire up the euthanasia.

they aren't permanently disabled, but the day after waking up they're completely disoriented and without control of their faculties.

Thank god it's a woman. If it was a man he would probably find the shit going on these days to be worse than a living nightmare.

welcome to 2019, we have the technology to access any information at any time but we use it to watch reruns and argue

Some parts of reddit are OK. heh
but srly

>You have been in a coma for 27 years
are you considered a vegetarian for being 27 years in a vegetary state?

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