Well my boyfriend cheated. He was on a dating site right in front of me, I confronted him and he lied saying he was trying to find a roommate, I looked at the texts and he was attempting to sext girls but no one messaged him back. He promises me he never slept with anyone, that he was insecure about our relationship, and promised he’d never do it again because he wants a future with me. He’s a really good guy the only terrible thing he’s ever done was this. So we stayed together and I feel like he’s putting more effort into communicating, but I still don’t trust him at all. I don’t want to be the paranoid girlfriend who searches his phone everyday but I also don’t want to stay with him if he’s a once a cheater always a cheater. I just need overall advice and thoughts because I still feel nervous in the back of my mind that maybe there is something still going on and I don’t know it. I want to know if he’s doing anything behind my back at the same time. I don’t want to be a helicopter girlfriend and I don’t want to feel insecure all the time. What do I freaking do?
Got cheated on
And what were you doing on the dating site?
Break up. I know that’s the standard advice here, but for real, the drama and energy isn’t worth it. A relationship is suppose to be easy.
We were hanging out and I could see the dating site he was on in the reflection of his glasses. He said he wasn’t cheated so I asked to see his messages and he let me and he was sexting chicks like a retard.
Why is your thread titled "got cheated on" when you didn't? You may have been cheated on but there's no proof. If he's insecure as you say he'll have no problem letting you go through his phone if that's what makes you feel comfortable enough to be in a relationship with him. If breaking up with him makes you feel more comfortable, do that instead.
The relationship was easy until that happened and It’s difficult. I broke up with him for a week and I just felt terrible it felt hard to let go. I could find someone but at the same time I have no desire to.
you're reading comprehension is fucking awful, read the 2nd sentence again
I saw all of his messages with other girls I went through every single message and I took his word that he didn’t sleep with anyone. That was proof enough to me plus he admitted after I saw the messages.
Messaging girls on a dating site isn't cheating.
If you’re dating someone and they’re messaging other people on a dating site, flirting, and sexting them.. you’re telling me you wouldn’t care? Or you’d be fine with it?
I'd prefer not to know about it. You can't control someone's actions without making them resent you for it.
If you can't trust the person you're in a relationship with then it's over.
So you’d allow yourself to be a cuck because ignorance is bliss? I’ll pass on your advice
Being a cuck means you are aware of the fact that your spouse is cheating you stupid zoomer.
>A relationship is suppose to be easy.
This mentality is why so many marriages fail. Relationships aren't always easy, they require work – sometimes hard work – to function.
That said OP, I don't think this is one of those cases. Trust in a relationship is paramount, and since you've lost it and aren't sure you can get it back, then breaking up is probably the right move.
As a guy who done a similar thing in his younger years to high school gf. Leave him. He won't stop until he knows he's lost what he really cares about.
>He's a really good guy
>He cheated right in front of me
Don't be a dumbass. Leave him. If he lied to you about his intentions on the dating site UNTIL he got caught, he'll continue that routine. Only difference is he'll be more careful about hiding it next time. So do yourself a favor and dont waste any note time with someone like that.
An affair of the heart is still an affair.
OP - do you think this is something you can move on from? Could he regain the trust he lost with you and what would he need to do to earn it back? If you feel this isn't something that can be fixed in time, or that he's still keeping secrets than you should end the relationship.
I had this same feeling I just wish he was an asshole in every way to make it easier to break up with him
He’s a very good person. It’s one of those situations where someone is great but they have a dark secret. I’m not sure how long it would take.. occasionally I forgive and forget and we enjoy being around each other. When we’re apart for a while I feel a bit uneasy. The whole thing brought out insecurity in me but I feel like this was just his one dumb moment and that there’s some potential.
If you feel that this was a one time mistake and an eye opener for him, I'd say give it some time. Maybe set a personally time period, perhaps somewhere in a 3-6 month ballpark to see how your feeling. If you're still constantly on edge or still can't trust him at all then you know for sure it's over.
Just dump him, caught redhanded, strike one, lied to you, strike two, enough of a dumb cuck to fish for pussy on a dating site, strike three.
the fuck? they're not supposed to be easy
I agree that this is a major red flag but relationships are dedication and hard work
of course most of the time they're supposed to be enjoyable, helpful and basically anything positive, but if you're attitude is that they're supposed to be easy, you're in for a rude awakening
he's a fucking idiot who doesn't even have enough game to cheat. dump him