ABA - Ask a boomer anything

Im 32.

Grew up on movies and vidya gaems...never ending story, Ghostbusters, Ninja turtles, Nintendo.entertainment system (NES), super nes, robocop, terminator, predator, back to the future, Indiana Jones, star wars.

Lived a storied life thus far.
Been a weeb since speed racer was showing on cartoon network late at night in black and white...I think ~1993-4. Probably the first anime they aired.

Was a halfway decent cosplayer through HS and college (~2004-2007), and for a brief period in 2011.
Looking to come back soon and do a cosplay I've wanted to do since I was a child but needed to grow into it.

Was always good with technology.
Got first computer in 2001 when I was in 6th grade.
Got first cell phone (flip phone) at 17yr old. Local calls after 7pm were included on plan. Non-local cost money per minute. I used phone cards to talk to long distance relationship. Texting was $.10 a text. No internet on mobile.

People texted with AIM (AOL instant messager).
56k internet and early cable internet was a different place.
20minutes to download a typical 3min song at 56kbps (kilobits per second) quality.
Today's music is 256kbps quality for comparison.

Got a degree in accounting at height of recession in 2008-2009. Was underemployed as geek squad agent at best buy before getting entry level support position. Learned as much as I could and focused entirely on career, multiple promotions and positions later... broke 100k salary mark last year.

Have a single floor 2.5k sq/ft house (4 bedrooms, 2.5 bath, laundry room, garage, library, office, gym, granite kitchen and bathroom counter tops, etc).
Wife
Possible baby on the way.

For last 10months. I've been getting Jow Forums again.
Tired of being a fat sack of shit and wanted to improve the quality of my life (more energy, stronger, endurance, healthy).

Been on Jow Forums since 2004. In many ways, Jow Forums has shaped the course of my life multiple times.

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Other urls found in this thread:

knowyourmeme.com/memes/30-year-old-boomer
reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/97erzt/can_somebody_explain_the_boomer_meme/
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Cool blog faggot

>>>/facebook/

you are too young to be a boomer, retard

>boomer
>32

Nigga what?

Is having a significant other and being in a couple the only way to be happy? Be honest here. Because I notice that people say that "having a gf/bf is not everything" bullshit, but the happiest people are always the ones who are currently in a couple.

Not everything.

The times I was happiest was when I was happy with myself.

No one can MAKE you happy.
As a matter of fact, if you are miserable and unhappy, it will spread into relationship and eventually kill it.

A relationship is not two halves coming together to complete each other (.5 +
5 =1).
It's two independent people coming together to make something better (1+1=3).

Lots of people on this site are older than 32 and more qualified to give advice you know.

Do i really have to explain this?
>the state of Jow Forums in 2019

knowyourmeme.com/memes/30-year-old-boomer
reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/97erzt/can_somebody_explain_the_boomer_meme/

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>qualified to give advice

IDGAF

This thread will either reach thread limit or get archived and then deleted.

In 1-2 days, everything here will be gone and no one will care it existed.

These threads are just like peoples lives in that way.

Besides, I am not opposed to more boomers joining in and sharing their life experiences thus far.

>32
>not late gen X
You get no nickname, faggot.
Your generation was built to die for the boomer empire.

I'm actually pissed that technically they lumped us into millennials

>I'm 32
>Grew up with never ending story, Ghostbusters, Ninja turtles, Nintendo.entertainment system (NES), robocop, terminator, predator, back to the future, Indiana Jones, star wars

Those things came out/were originally popular in the 80s, when you were either 0-2 (unconscious) or not born yet you millennial poser. Your true prime childhood era was Power rangers and Pokemon, stop trying to cram yourself into the gen x "old school cool".

Gen X cutoff was 1980-81 (class of 1999). But millennials who were little kids when Cobain died keep extending Gen X to cram themselves into it, even though they were never meant to be that.

You look familiar, are you the guy on CBT who cosplayed Ace? If so man, mind giving the advice on ab workouts again?
I'm a bit younger than you but I've been fat my entire life until recently when I lost 120 lbs. So you can imagine I have a bit of loose skin at a more normal weight.

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No

I remember watching Ghostbusters and Never ending story since I was in pre-k.

When a movie comes out has nothing to do with someone growing up with it. It's not like children only watch it the year it comes out.

Was born in 1987.
When I was 4 is when I started to remember the movies I had watched.
Though first/earliest movie I remember watching is the little mermaid (1989) in pre-school (~3yrs old).

Power rangers came out ~1st grade.
Only original dinosaurs and animals were only things mainstream was familiar with.

Pokemon came out 6th grade.
I played the gameboy game and watched the show on TV before the card game came out and it became a huge phenomenon.

That's like a 5 year gap...a whole lite more happened between that people dont remember.

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Ever felt suicidal? What kept you from doing it?

Yes

Abs are made in the kitchen.

Gotta get to low body fat % to see them.
The way you get there though is through tons of cardio and boosting your metabolism as much as possible via strength training and building muscle.

In general to see abs/core like in pic related....

-Start with doing atlest 50x situps.
When you can do 50. Add 10lb dumbbell in each hand and then get back up to 50 again. Once you hit that, switch to 15lb dumbbell.
-Planks for as long as possible 2-3x a night
-Side planks (same as above)
-Hanging leg raises if you have a pullup bar. Once you get to 15 add weights (ankle weights or weighted ball)
-Laying down leg raises/kick outs
-Laying down leg circles (hovering legs above the ground and rotate in circles...then switch rotation direction).
-Side bends with a heavy weight in one hand
-Stand up and perform a twist with 15lb weight in each hand. Dont "hard stop" by over twisting (use muscles as brakes). Do this till sides are tired (this is how i build Adonis belt/V shape).

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you said boomer, not 30 y/o boomer
big difference, you idiot

Many times.

I've always gone through very exaggerated periods of depression/hypomania.

Last year, wife was doing PhD program and I was sole income provider of household.
I was in a position (product strategy/management) where I was able to fully analyze and understand state of company before anyone else did (we were under investigation from security and exchange commission for not filing our quarterly statements on time, CFO recently quit, and our financial auditors dropped us as clients...my accounting background/experience allowed me to fully "appreciate" the situation).
Based on my analysis, knew company was on fire.

I had a major 3hr meeting with all the VPs and as many people in company possible from various departments (open call) where I laid out position of company, what needed to be done, and my plan to fix it.

Shortly after getting the ball rolling. My months of 15hr workdays and 6-8 cups/shots of coffee a day caught up to me.
Had a complete and total mental breakdown with psychosis.

Got diagnosed bipolar type 1 as a result.

Was out of work for 3 months trying to recover mentally. Literally went from high functioning leader who interacted with VPs from my company and others into someone who couldn't get out of bed and was catatonic/staring at ceiling for hours on end.
Told my wife to take my picture at my worst...so atleast any improvement I made, I could tell myself "atleast I'm not that bad anymore".

Was prescribed anti-psychotics, mood stabilizers, tranquilizers, sedatives, and anti-depressants.
After 3 months, my family medical leave ran out and I went back to work.

The 2nd week I was back, CEO called an all hands meeting and basically said the exact same thing I had said months earlier with the addition that they would be doing a reduction in force. They fired 1/3rd of the staff including myself. Just called us all in and said "sorry, we have to let you go. Turn in your badge and dont come to work tomorrow".

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So nice of them to run you into the ground and discard you like trash afterwards.

a lot of us born in the late 80s were the youngest sibling and thus got a lot of hand-me-downs

I got a small severance package and had some stock that company gave me when I first joined years ago.

Gave me about 4 months of time (mortgage payments, loans, bills, etc).
Wife still had no job.

Thoughts of suicide arise out of a desire to "escape".
For all the stress, sadness, anxiety, etc to go away.

I would sleep alot because sleep gave temporary relief from living for a bit.

I never formulated a concrete plan for suicide or anything but had many thoughts of it.
Out of all, I preferred garage+car+listening to music till Carbon Monoxide puts me to sleep (listening to my favorite music). Mess is self contained to car, so could just dispose of car in its entirety.

My thoughts kept going back to my cats.
Who would take care of my kitties?

I started doing other things to add "persistence" to my life while I continued to apply for jobs (~20 a week). Rejection after rejection takes its toll.

I started gardening. Watering flowers and plucking out weeds gave me something to do.

I also spent alot of time repairing/fixing a house my brothers and I inherited from grandmother in a city 120miles away.

I was down to 1k left in bank, no idea where next mortgage payment would come from...
Went to the gym and got a membership.
Wife also finally got a job (in addition to PhD work).

Luckily, house I had been working on was able to sell in nick of time.

A month or two later, my prior company called me and asked if I was interested in being a consultant/contractor. Pay was 6 figure (like previous) and get to travel, so said I'd love to.

2 months after, at start of 2019, hiring freeze was done and I was rehired as fulltime.

I'm still going to gym. It helps maintain physical and mental health.
Having a strong body helps bear mental stress as well. Plus you can see progress on month to month basis. Even if I move to different job I'll take my body (and mind) with me.

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I have been on the receiving end of a downright unfair amount of sexual violence perpetrated by females on top of having the kind of mother who put her grudge against men ahead of me. As you might expect, I have certain difficulties. Having fully consensual sex where I never feel the need to fear for my life seems like a key step in resolving said struggles. However, the possibility of having sex reflexively triggers mortal fear. What do you recommend? Should I try going to a surrogate partner like my therapist and I have talked about or should I do something else?

>I have been on the receiving end of a downright unfair amount of sexual violence perpetrated by females on top of having the kind of mother who put her grudge against men ahead of me.

>I have certain difficulties.
>Having fully consensual sex where I never feel the need to fear for my life seems like a key step in resolving said struggles.
>The possibility of having sex reflexively triggers mortal fear.

>What do you recommend?

>Should I try going to a surrogate partner like my therapist and I have talked about or should I do something else?


This literally sounds like some of the difficulties my wife has.

We are in counseling and therapy now. Both for ourselves as well as for overall marriage/communication.

I cant tell you how this will change things within the next couple months, but I can tell you all the things that were tried over the years that resulted in failures.

Bringing in an unbiased outside observer to listen and analyze situations is super useful. Especially when they are trained professionally to help with relationships and issues.

Just popping in to say that those last two sets look real hot.

>but I can tell you all the things that were tried over the years that resulted in failures.
I'd love to hear some of this, though I'm a different user.

I'm a little worried about approaching this with my bf, since I'm sure it won't be fun to hear "That playful grappling thing you were doing kind of reminded me of my rapist ex!!!" I had to take a breather into the livingroom the other day, and when I came back to bed my boyfriend said to me a couple times that "He would never hurt me". (which I fully believe he would never purposefully hurt me). I don't want him to feel guilty or ashamed of himself. It doesn't help that when I panic, I don't really rescind consent or express displeasure in a traditional and clear way. That wasn't really a safe or comfortable option to me in the past. My knee jerk is to act like I'm joking around and redirect playfully. I have a lot of shame around the idea too, since I wish I could just keep up with his play and not overreact so much. So that also drives me to redirect indirectly.

We've recently brought up the idea of couple's counselling. Not specifically for my sexual trauma, more so for how to have a healthy and balanced relationship when I'm a depressive mess who often neglects my responsibilities, and him feeling like I already have too many of my own problems for him to talk to me about his problems.

How did you find your couple's counselor? How much does it cost you? I go to individual therapy which is covered by insurance due to my mental health diagnosis, but I think I recall seeing somewhere that couples counseling sometimes isn't covered at all. How often do you meet?

You don't have to explain it, I just cannot fathom why a grown man would lower himself like this to be cool to reprobates and children.

Is that a yes to the surrogate question? Because you've confirmed my assessment I would need some sort of partner to help me work through what I have going on, but I still have the catch 22 of getting to that point

I think that the OP was talking about the benefits of having a therapist in addition to a romantic partner. So both you and the romantic partner would talk to the therapist about how to work through your sexual trauma and then you'd go home and practice what they said.

How do I retire by your age?

That's cool but that stuff still wasn't meant for your generation upon their original releases. That's like a 13 year old thinking he's a boomer because he listens to Pink floyd

this

retard

yikes AND cringe

Bump re: couples counseling and sexual trauma