How do I suggest to my gf that a person can get a low-impact boob job just to even them out and make the shape nicer without it actually being super noticeable with clothes on? She's pretty insecure about her boobs, but had a catholic upbringing and I think the idea of a boob job makes her think she'd feel like a slut, however she has talked to me about getting a labiaplasty to get rid of a flap. Obviously I'd offer to pay for it or split it since I'd benefit from it as well.
How do I suggest to my gf that a person can get a low-impact boob job just to even them out and make the shape nicer...
bump... I think it's just a different frame of mind and she'd think it's a good idea, but I don't want to pressure her into it
Honestly, I wouldn't. Every surgery comes with a risk and you only really know how good your surgeon was post surgery (unless you're willing to REALLY spend cash on the highest segment). Implants aren't one and done, you have to get them replaced every so often, there's risk of allergies or leaking. Because implants are obviously not organic fake boobs also tend to age quite badly unless you keep updating them surgically. You'd basically get droopy skin covering a hard shell.
Besides you mentioning that she has talked about getting her boobs done AND labiaplasty makes me think her boobs aren't a one off freak insecurity but she has low self esteem period and that needs fixing, not her breasts.
What's more, if you suggest this to her, she doesn't want to, and she's still insecure, you will never (NEVER!) convince her that you suggested it for her and not because you totally hate her disgusting tits.
Just don't poke this wasp's nest and encourage her to accept herself as she is.
she's not really that insecure about her body, at least not to the point where it effects our relationship or day-to-day. She's just not confident in it. It does sound like a pretty big bother, though. Our lifestyles together could support getting an expensive surgeon, but definitely not hers alone if there's frequent follow ups and we're no longer together. She would ever get "obviously not real boobs" level of implants, more just cosmetic shaping and evening them out. I'm hoping the upkeep is less for something like that.
You're right, she 100% has to come up with this idea herself. It will fail terribly if she thinks you came up with this idea.
but you can clearly see that she has some barriers that prevent her from coming up with this idea. Work to change those. Convince her that girls with boob jobs aren't sluts. Help her mend what catholicism has damaged in her sexual identity. It will take her a long time to change her mind, but when that's done you can only wait.
Maybe this is in part a cultural difference, I live in WE Europe and to me a young woman with a normal body seriously considering two cosmetic surgeries is absolutely more than just not oozing confidence wherever you go. Being willing to spend thousands of dollars on enhancing your appearance? Thousands of dollars to enhance bodyparts a handful of people see throughout your life, all people who hopefully love you and love seeing you naked anyway?
Anyway, I think it's possible to go for something that has a little less impact. There's new methods working with own bodyfat (I understand that has issues of its own, though) and "reshaping" if you mean that they need to be perkier can obviously be done without implants.
Having said that breasts take a beating throughout life and even if the surgery itself requires no follow-up whatsoever, this "fixes" the "issue" only until she gets pregnant, or gains quite a bit of weight, or loses quite a bit of weight... and if none of that happens they will inevitably start sagging with age.
The way I see it it's an expensive, risky short term solution to a long term problem which is that no one is perfect and even the people with a perfect body lose it. Now don't get me wrong if she had lost 100lbs and has the boobs of a granny at twenty five then I'd understand. Or if she had conical breasts that most guys don't even realize exist.
But going through all this for normal, everyday, young boobs...? Because they could look better still?
If she's also not that insecure about it, as you say, and has not brought this idea up herself, I definitely would stay away entirely.
thank you for your response — she went to an all womens catholic college even, so it's pretty deep. The plus side is I have 0 worries about other men and she is very faithful and loving, so that will not be an issue. Maybe we should start with the labiaplasty and just get her mind in the space that cosmetic surgery isn't the worst thing ever.
By the way, we've been together for 4 years, lived together for 3 years and very likely will get married as soon as her career path settles down.
>seriously considering two cosmetic surgeries
she has never considered a boob job, is what this thread is about. The labiaplasty is mostly because there's this one part that makes certain things she does uncomfortable for her. Obviously there's no such thing as a permanent solution to beauty and we're both going to get fat and ugly as we get older, but something low impact to last her through her 20s and early 30s doesn't sound outrageous to me.
>But going through all this for normal, everyday, young boobs...?
they are not normal, everyday young boobs. One is 1 or 2 bra sizes larger than the other and they're fairly flat and droopy at 24. I'm a loving boyfriend, I tell her and show her that I love them and I enjoy them, but I think something can be done and it would improve her confidence and probably our sex life. Particularly they look like if you just inflated them a bit more they'd look great, you know? Like no need to stretch out the skin beyond what's already there. Just shape.
>would improve her confidence and probably our sex life
Nope, that comes from her attitude. Nothing about her attitude will improve if she gets a boob job tomorrow. Insecurities about her old boobs will be replaced with insecurities about her new boobs. Can you imagine how many hours she'll spend in front of a mirror, double-guessing if the boob job was a good idea? Finding every flaw and getting mad at the surgeon and herself for doing this? It'd be a disaster.
You've got tunnel vision. This is not a quick and easy solution because it's not an simple situation.
>The labiaplasty is mostly because there's this one part that makes certain things she does uncomfortable for her.
Okay, that's fair enough I guess.
Look if you really want to suggest it phrase it like you want to get it out of the way that you'd support her and help pay for it if she wants it. (Definitely do not suggest that you would enjoy the benefits like in the OP, again if she doesn't want to you won't be able to convince her that you still like her boobs, most likely.) Say that since she mentioned the labiaplasty and you know she has some insecurity about her breast you just want her to know that you would not look at her differently if that was something she considered.
She still might take it the wrong way but imo this is the very most graceful way to suggest it yourself.
>they are not normal
It's impossible for me to judge without a picture but they definitely sound normal. Bodies are not symmetrical, all women have breasts of a different size and while 1 or 2 sizes is on the big side it's nothing to raise eyebrows. I don't know how experienced you are but while women in their mid twenties who have perky, full breasts definitely exist, the kind of boobs you see featured in pictures (full, round-shaped, nipple in the middle or even in the upper half of the breast) are the exception not the norm.
You might be right, she might be quite unlucky, it's just that from your description I cannot possibly tell if she is unfortunate and does have below average breasts or that you have above average standards of what normal ones look like. If you have a picture you can link of a similar pair that could help.
>Can you imagine how many hours she'll spend in front of a mirror, double-guessing if the boob job was a good idea
I think you're underestimating my ability to reinforce it with emotional and physical responses to it, first off. And second, she doesn't go through life arrested by insecurity and unable to come to terms with the decisions she's made. Like I said, it doesn't effect our day-to-day or relationship. If she gets a slightly weird boob job (which we would do our best and be willing to commit plenty of money to avoid) it's at least definitely better than what she has now.
Not the user you're responding to here but I don't see why you could shower her in love to silence insecurities after a boob job but apparently not before.
And saying even a wonky boobjob will leave her better than she is now really makes it seem that you mostly like the idea of upgrading her breasts yourself. Which is going to make it even trickier to introduce the idea to her.
I do try my hardest to make her feel comfortable with her body, they're just objectively not great breasts and she'd have to be deluded to not in some way be aware of this. If there was subjectivity like the shape and size was even and the nipples faced outward instead of down it'd be much easier to convince her. Obviously yes I think I would benefit from her getting a boob job, at the very least in my sexual attraction to her, but I also think the confidence boost would help her with her job, path to higher education and improve our life quality. In the same way that me going to the gym, working on my body and feeling more confident has helped me in more parts of my life than I thought was possible.
Are there other roads to gain this confidence? Sure, maybe, but this one I think would work.
Take your emotional reinforcement bullshit and either shove it up your ass and fuck off with your boob obsession, or give it to her now, before committing any changes. Have you and her done any actual research about the whole matter? Because therapy for her self image issues and your views is cheaper than committing to periodic visits, screenings and replacements/readjustments.
>slightly wonky boobjob
You are an ignorant. There is a thin line between removing a fuck up and needing to remove more breast tissue to solve the problems that arise.
>therapy for her self image issues
she doesn't have self image issues. She has accepted that her boobs suck and moved on with her life. She's a normal, well adjusted person. But does that mean she can't make a change to have a body to be proud about? I sincerely believe she would be interested in the idea if she simply thought about it for a bit. If there existed a real way to actually make my dick bigger or nicer looking, why wouldn't I do that? Even if I've accepted I have a gross, below average penis?
>In the same way that me going to the gym, working on my body and feeling more confident has helped me in more parts of my life than I thought was possible.
Ehh. I don't think this is really the same honestly. You worked for those gains, you invested in your body, you learned new skills, you set goals for yourself and achieved them, you pushed limits. Do you honestly think you'd have felt exactly the same if you dished out a few K to have muscles overnight?
Confidence does not come from objectively looking great. Bodies are weird and most people have things to be insecure about. Confidence is about feeling at ease with what you are and are not, not asking of yourself to be perfect. And yeah I think indeed being physically active and seeing her body as something that is strong and enables her to do and feel things, that she can train and work with, is better.
It would be different if this bothered her day in day out. If she was convinced her breasts ruined her appearance and she was thinking and talking about them a lot (AND fine with the rest of her body, otherwise that's a case for therapy) then yeah it might lift a weight off her shoulders to get them changed. But it sounds like she has okayish breasts and is okayish with them, at least to the point of never considering surgery out loud, and in that case I strongly doubt this will make her feel great about herself and change her life for the better.
>Objectively not great bobs
>Bobs are objects
>Her beauty is defined by you
Ok kid
>my philosophy 101 teacher told me objectivity doesn't exist so nobody should feel anything about their bodies with regards to societal standards because they don't exist lmao
It's actually common sense no one has to teach anyone this
You've been taught by porn there's a "perfect" body type and encourage your girlfriend's self hatred by supporting her changing her body for purely vain standards.
Dude you're a selfish asshole and it wasn't only the boob thing that led me to this conclusion.
She honestly deserves someone better than you
>afraid of being a slut
>whores herself out but is afraid of getting cosmetic surgery
Catholics are seriously fucked in the head
Have you ever seen a Roman marble statue of anything other than ideal beauty? Did the Renaissance painters try to capture anything else? It has nothing to do with porn. Sorry, but people have an innate perspective of human beauty and as much as I try I cannot pull the humanity out from underneath her. Nobody is ever going to be able to convince me I wouldn't be more confident with an above average sized penis or a few more inches of height or a nicer jaw, in the same way that nobody will ever convince her to be more than just OK with having less-than-ideal breasts. It doesn't matter if it's society or biology or god who put those thoughts there. The thoughts are there and from there it's a matter of what we do with them.
Obviously I'd prefer if we were beings of pure intelligence who could warp the universe around us to suit our desires such that physicality no longer factors into our actions. Too bad it's not like that and we have to work with and around what we have.
I'm sorry you feel that way. I appreciate your advice and wish I could have laid out the situation more clearly from the start. We're very happy together and I would never in a million years suggest to her she should get a boob job. That was never on the table. I want her to be in a place where she considers it herself without the influence of her upbringing.
There is always going to be something we want to change about ourselves, of course. However getting a boob job is literally the only one that's feasible and with the right research and investment fairly safe. In 50 years when I can get robot arms and legs and robot eyes I'll be happy to do so. The technology that allows us to improve ourselves should not be ignored.
Call it a breast realignment.
Romans idealized a small penis, dumbass.
They still had ideals of beauty without pornography, which is the point.
>low-impact boob job
You don't do surgery for someone else. She has to want it for herself, by herself.
When I looked into nosejobs, and saw the possibilities, I didn't hesitate and began saving money. Don't regret it one bit, I'm not nagging myself over my face whenever I see my reflection and feel more confident, too.
And my point is that their 'innate perspective of human beauty's was different from ours, unless you're talking super generalized shit like near-symmetry, for which even animals display a preference.